tumblr after dark but all the time

bradleyjeems:

#I have never in my life read Eric/Godric fic and they’re literally my number 2 OTP of all time. I tried to read a fic once and I was like NO because I knew that unless the person who wrote it gets as attached to TV as I do it just wouldn’t do it justice because any and all feelings Eric and Godric have for each other are deeper than just sex or just love or just the maker-progeny bond or just just just anything. I mean I’m definitely not saying I could write one at all ever I just mean that there is just too much to ever fit it all into a fic and do them justice. There’s 1000 years of FAITH and LOVE and TRUST and UNDERSTANDING and the fact that Godric doesn’t even need to say that he’s going to kill himself - Eric just KNOWS and he’s in Godric’s space before he can take a step and just says no because he already KNOWS that Godric will do it because it’s GODRIC and he’s 2000 years old and he does what he wants because he can and if Godric hadn’t commanded Eric off the roof Eric would have died with him because he knows Godric will do what he wants but that doesn’t mean he has to sit by and watch. He said himself if Godric is dead nothing can bring back what he’s lost. And nothing ever will because Godric was his father his brother his son and his LOVER (fucking canon fight me) and his best friend and they were everything to each other because Godric fucking MADE HIM and he picked Eric off the battlefield because he was beautiful and Godric is so small and so powerful and he tamed this fucking 6’4 viking and Eric cleaves to Godric without a second thought and without even caring about his reputation or what people think of him and he bends down to stare straight into Godric’s eyes and he brings Godric humans to drink and in short I WISH I COULD RIP OUT THE PART OF ME THAT HAS FEELINGS. 

this, this right here, is what keeps drawing me back into this horrible world. this. this tiny, three-part arc that was over too soon and left so much, too much unsaid. how am i ever supposed to get over this? how am i ever supposed to move on and accept that Eric has moved on? how am I supposed to accept that Eric walks off that rooftop, goes into his room and cries for a bit and that its over? don't you think he feels it? every time he wakes and every time he feeds and every time he makes a little motion that makes him think of his maker, the manchild who taught him how to be who he is? every time he looks at Pam and thinks of Godric because he made Pam and Godric made him and she lost her grandfather but she doesn't even care because she doesn't know. or does she? did they spend time galivanting through the French Revolution together as three? did they dance through the Spanish Inquisition as a devilish threesome of terror? did they feed and love and become a family? or was it when Godric left Eric or Eric left Godric that Pam came about? WHY IS IT THAT THIS STUPID SHOW HAD TO TAKE BOOK CANON AND THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW SO THEY COULD CREATE THIS MONSTROUS ENTITY THAT IS OLDER THAN YOUR JESUS? WHY DID ALAN BALL DECIDE THAT GODRIC SHOULD BE ERIC'S MAKER BUT THAT THEY COULD NEVER TOUCH? THAT WE WILL NEVER LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT THEM? we have to look at the tiny, significant moments they have together and analyze them over and over and over and over and over again until all you can do is try to forget and it still hurts, something so simple like an image or a screenshot can be so PAINFUL, so painful it forces its way up from your heart and through the muscles of your face to that place where your tear ducts are and up through your eyes so that they run down your face and down your neck and there's nothing you can do because you know that those fleeting moments of season two were the only real explanation you will ever receive about these fascinating characters and their tragic, horrifying, beautiful love and no matter how hard you try to forget or how many fics you read trying to fill in the blanks, they will never be filled. i hate this show.