Machete Landing

Make sure you’re checking up on both parents when they have a baby, especially if it’s their first 

It’s overwhelming and intimidating for dads just like it is for moms. Give them support and encouragement too

I would say it’s overwhelming for dads in different ways than it is for moms, which is important to recognize.

- Dads rarely get paternity leave or any time off work after baby is born. They often want to be home taking care of their wife and child, but they can’t. This can be stressful and lead to men feeling helpless and frustrated, not to mention friction in the relationship because the mother would also like him to be home!

- Dads sometimes have a harder time bonding (less time with baby due to going back to work) and may feel guilt from that

- Dads may have questions about what is going on for both mom and baby, especially in those first few weeks, but be afraid to ask for fear of being mocked or dismissed for not knowing.

Ways to support first-time dads:

- If you are an employer, offer paternity leave!

- If you are a coworker, is there a way to help lighten the new dad’s load so he can be home more, especially in the first month?

- Low-pressure social invites - don’t make him feel bad or make fun of him if he says no to hanging out with friends after work because he needs to be home. He may still want to hang out now and then (we all need some level of social connection), so don’t stop inviting him entirely.

- Listen if he wants to share about what’s going on. Men are less likely to just want to talk, but if you are a close friend or family member he may be more willing to open up.

- Don’t make fun of him. Answer questions (or help him find answers) without judgment. Fatherhood is a beautiful thing - it’s not the end of his life, it’s not a ball and chain, it’s not a burden. He’s not dumb for not about knowing things he’s never experienced before. He’s not less masculine for wanting to be there for his wife and child. He does have an incredibly important role to play as a father, and that role shouldn’t be belittled or dismissed.

Really fucking weird how the internet has made it a thing to make others feel bad for having a good relationship with their parents. Y’all need therapy and I mean that genuinely

A random person on social media posting about how much they love their mom or dad is not responsible for how your mom or dad treated you. The comment section on their posts is not your personal trauma dumping ground. I’m sorry all that happened to you but talk to a professional

This resentment toward people with good families or happy childhoods seems like an extension of the “all privilege is evil” way of thinking.

Because...yeah, it is a privilege to have good parents and to come from a stable and loving household.  It’s a huge privilege, probably even more so than race or gender or any of the other identity-markers that usually get talked about.

But being privileged is not inherently a bad thing.  It’s actually a good thing.  It’s not a moral failing, it’s not an error that needs correcting, and it’s certainly not something people should avoid talking about or feel ashamed of. 

It’s unfair that some people don’t get this benefit, just as it’s unfair that some people don’t get the benefit of good education or good healthcare, but the focus should always be on improving things for those people rather than shaming the people who have had their basic human needs met.

I think there’s this tendency to see life as a zero sum game where happy people with good things are in some way “hoarding” happiness and good things.  In this worldview, happiness itself becomes the enemy, and someone who’s had a good life or advantages of any kind becomes part of the oppressive upper class who needs to be taken down a peg, thus when they see people posting on Facebook about how much they love their parents they feel this sense of moral obligation to remind them that shitty parents exist and to frame their happiness as an aberration or an injustice.

@ those who need to hear it:

A working father (especially when only one parent is working) is contributing to parenting.

Imagine working all day to keep your kids (and wife/girlfriend) housed, fed, clothed, educated, and entertained, just to come home to be told youre doing nothing to help.

Same energy as telling a stay-at-home mother that she isnt contributing because she doesnt have a paying job.

Infuriating.

Twitter user stunned and appalled to find that parents are supposed to parent their children.

thankful to have had a good father growing up because poor male figures really have messed up a lot of people to the core

Don’t tell your son that he needs to spoil his girlfriend and give her affection for nothing in return. Don’t tell him that the girl is the prize and he’s lucky to simply be in her presence. Of course you should teach your son to treat a woman right but you should also teach him that he deserves a woman who’ll treat him right. The woman is not the more valuable partner in a relationship; the guy needs to feel loved and valued too.

Also, don’t tell your daughter that she deserves to be spoiled and treated like a queen just for being a woman but owes her man nothing in return. Of course you should teach her that she deserves a man who’ll treat her right but also teach her to treat a man right.

I just heard my mom tell my brother, “when you die, you will go outside and garden until your father says you’re done” and it took me a second to realize that my brother was playing a videogame and this was not a theological discussion.

Purgatory

The Garden of Death

Watercolor and gouache by Hugo Simberg, 1896

How cute is this 😊😇

Michael Myers when he sees someone off their guard for 0.2 seconds

Parenting at its finest

Imagine your tiny ass receiving one of these bomb ass cash gifts.

every time i see that "if you have white teenage boys listen up" twitter thread it makes my blood boil. feminists spent a decade talking about how awful and evil and worthless white men are and now they act surprised white boys are driven away from liberalism and towards the alt-right. and to top it all off they don't even acknowledge the blame could be on themselves (unless it's then thinking they weren't forceful enough with their teachings lmao) and look towards literally anybody else to blame. but it's them. they're the ones who wrote articles about how unsafe men are, including their own sons. they're the ones justifying things like #KillAllMen by saying that good men won't get upset about it. they're the fucking monsters here. the alt-right saw an opportunity and it was given to them on a silver platter by selfish fucks who cared more about being allowed to just treat men like shit than actually being decent people.

fuck feminists, especially feminist monthers who believe this shit, you assholes got what you deserved. i hopw your children get away from the toxic cult that is the alt-right but i also hopw they get away from you.

Feminists treat everyone else like shit and then they wonder why bigots are so loud and obnoxious these days.

It’s actually a circle of recruitment here.

“Feminist” moms inspire alienation and hatred in their sons, which makes them easy pickings for the alt-right. Their female classmates see their shitty behavior, assume all men are like your average alienated 15-year-old boy, and then get recruited in turn by TERF’s. Some of them don’t grow out of this and have their own sons, and the cycle repeats.

Basically, instead of talking to them, parents like her just go, “oh, my son’s a misogynist prick, fuck it!” 

If she had sat the down and said, “hey, this is why such and such is wrong”, then perhaps they wouldn’t end up depressed and alienated.  I hope they have friends with parents who are more welcoming than their own.

More specifically, you have to have mutual understanding with them, depending on what it is. If they want to kick puppies, by all means, lay down the law, but if it's something that's simply troublesome, then try to understand where they're coming from, and talk them out of any harmful ideas.

The approach that some of these parents are taking can be sweet-sounding and empathetic on the surface, but if there's still an underlying message of "you are inherently bad", you won't reach them in a way that matters. Bigotry will be its own undoing, and the people who refuse to accept people for who they are will see them fleeing to someone who does... even if that someone is a different kind of bigot.

Everyone wants to feel accepted and nobody wants to feel ostracized, and it really is that simple. Rejecting all discrimination against anything that people cannot help but be is a necessity moving forward, because at the end of the day, if the future you're building doesn't have a place for everyone, then the outliers will deny that future.