king

He picks you up with no manners, thinking the both of you wouldn't or shouldn't talk (douchebag move), and made no effort to make sure you were comfortable(another red flag). I don't believe you should touch a persons stereo/radio, but a guest in your car should be made comfortable, especially if it's a date. Scream metal does not set the mood. IMO both people dodged each other.

Part of why I used to like to just have someone over for dinner.

If they think I am a creeper who just wants them at my house and she refuses, cool. Then not a match. If she comes over then she has her own car and the ability to leave any time. Also if all that is good, then asking a woman to help you do prep work in the kitchen goes a long way to allow each party to get a read on each other and provides a degree of intimacy but without it getting weird on a first date. Re music, I like the idea of firing up youtube or whatever and taking turns trying to expose each other to new fun songs/bands as well as finding common interests and points of contact. Maybe even the opportunity to dance. Avoid drinking or limit to bare minimum cause you don't want accidents before there is even a relationship.

Inviting someone directly to your house for a first date? That would be . . . awkward.