“How’s life?”

Me:

The mammalian desire to stand at the edge of the ocean.

That was horrible

That was beautiful

The tumblr experience

I set my phone down on the couch next to my husband and after 30 seconds the sound randomly turned on. He thought it was funny so he just let it play. And repeat. After about the sixth or seventh time he looks up and goes "that's not Careless Whisper"

remembering when the something awful forums made a word filter that changed the word "females" so it was surrounded by Ferengi emoji (we called em 'smilies' not emoji back in the day) so it looked like this:

because someone was sick of incels using the word to refer to women

congrats for drugs for winning the war on drugs

Welcome to The Crossroads of Destiny!

Don’t let anyone silence your voice or steal your power, which is your vote.

Your vote is private. Your vote is your own.

Vote accordingly.

How many "Trump votes" are abusive MAGA husbands or boyfriends who essentially got two votes, while their wife or girlfriend got none?

To be clear: abusive men may think their wife or girlfriend belongs to them, including their vote. But legally, this is voter fraud.

Report these criminals.

Legally, this is voter intimidation.

IF YOU WITNESS OR ARE A VICTIM OF VOTER INTIMIDATION (like what Tom Cox is confessing to in the OP) or other violations of voting rights laws in the US:

Your vote is your own. You don't have to tell anyone who you voted for. You can lie about who you voted for. Keep yourself safe out there.

You can also call or text the Election Protection Hotline

And if you are in a situation where a spouse or partner is the one doing the voter intimidation to you, like Tom up there is, there are intimate partner violence orgs in your state and many towns who are there to help you. Because what Tom is doing is not okay, and you don't have to live like that.

Hired a moving company and they sent four strong, strapping, beautiful lads to my house to disassemble my furniture and move all my things. I loved them. I got them pizza. They told me moving company gossip. I missed them one minute after they left. My moving lads. Come back to me. You're so strong and so well trained in safe lifting

I miss my moving men they took such good care of me and they were so handsome and beautiful and strong and efficient and they wrapped all my furniture up in plastic and they loved that I got pizza for them and they knew how to safely drive the big big truck. Come back to me moving men

Moving men please come move me in your big strong arms in a way that complies with local safety regulations and the company's values

One of the men had a dangling earring and a stud, so I told him I liked his earrings. So he told me about how when he first got his ears pierced, he lost a stud and had to borrow an earring from his girlfriend to keep the hole from closing up. Well the only one she had to lend him was a dangling pink fuzzy duck. And everyone made fun of him for wearing it until they realized he didn't give a fuck what they thought. So now he always wears one stud and one dangling earring.

He told me this story while manhandling my entire couch. And I'm supposed to be normal about this? I'm bisexual

if you've never been clinically depressed, this is the short version

sorry for romanticising the mundane. i have little else

one of the jobs my roommate and I applied to had us take a personality questionnaire and I need yall to look at these images

things happen to me

I had to take this questionnaire for a job last year 💀

IM SO GLAD SOMEONE ELSE HAS SCREENSHOTS 😭 I had to reset my phone so I lost the ones i took that I didn’t post and need people to understand how batshit this questionnaire is

I know this happens and it looks suspicious but

this image? we have every reason to think it is a cucumber, like it was made in clay models in burials period, it's painted green, it's on the small side of things (9.6 cm or 3 3/4 inch)

oh right and it was placed on a model offering table with small model bread and drinking cup

sometimes a cucumber really is a cucumber.

Some poor sculptor went through the effort to make this shape look as much as possible like a cucumber and avoid the incredibly slippery slope to dick, and this is how people treat their efforts.

I am in tears

NEW CONTENDER for worst bread I’ve ever seen

I love with some onion articles, you can tell exactly what prompted the writer to make them

My tattoo artist told me his teenage son came out to him as trans by giving him a bunch of blue cupcakes and a greeting card that said "it's a boy!"

"That's cute," I said.

"It was NOT cute!" he snapped. "I thought he was pregnant."

technically we’re ALL, always LARPing, because the Self is only a construct,

I want a new character

Then make one.

Andrew Garfield talks to Elmo about grief and the passing of his mother

this is so pure