y’all…..

Doufám, že jste v bezpečí, všichni, koho se dotýká dnešní střelba v Praze.

Moc mě to mrzí.

Nebojte se zavolat nebo napsat na krizové linky, pokud potřebujete podržet a nebýt na to teď sami. Pokud by to nezvedali, zkuste jich víc.

Modrá linka (chat i telefon):

https://www.modralinka.cz/kontakty

Linka bezpečí (pro studenty do 26 let - chat i telefon)

https://www.linkabezpeci.cz/

Nepanikař (chat)

https://nepanikar.eu/poradna/

IPčko (chat)

https://ipcko.sk/chatova-poradna/

Střed (chat i telefon)

https://www.stred.info/linka-duvery-stred/

Pražská linka důvěry (chat i telefon)

https://www.csspraha.cz/prazska-linka-duvery

I've never turned my back on you. And I'm not starting now.

perhaps some will disagree, but i think the world got worse when we changed the colour of the night

this is what i mean

Via @bulbaderp

To be clear, THIS is how nights of the future should be lit

This is bat friendly street lighting, which not only looks sick as fuck but allows bats to pass through without disturbance, as they cannot see red.

orange and especially white lights deter bats and prevent them from reaching feeding grounds at nighttime. Please if you can, write to your local council and encourage red street lights!!!!

This sounds fun as hell.

fun fact, i thought jára cimrman was a real person until my mom told me when I was 13

Weakling.

I know people who were willing to argue that Cimrman was a real historical figure at their maturita exams.

arguing about Cimrman’s realness is actually a glorious way to fuck with many teachers, since almost the whole country is in on the joke that Cimrman was a real person, when you convincingly argue that Cimrman invented/wrote/discovered XY, the teacher is effectively trapped because either they have to accept your bullshit explanation or admit that Cimrman is not real and therefore break the joke and betray the national pride

many of my highschool teachers would preemptively inform us that they will not accept Cimrman as an answer (“we know, we know, he helped invent everything, write about the other people”) just to avoid this

ok but also HE’S TRANS

dear friends i am delighted to inform you that some madman devoted likely many hours to translating some of the plays allegedly written by cimrman and they are on youtube, subs included – please do check them out if you have a feeling you might enjoy

the thing about these plays is, they are deemed THE source of info on cimrman – the people acting them out call themselves cimrmanologists and the “perfromance” is always divided into two parts: the seminar and the play itself. the plays span a variety of genres (though all of them are to huge extent comedies) and the seminars always present a sort of background, be it historical context in cimrman’s life or any other relevant information

every time a new play comes out the whole joke is that it’s been “discovered”, many times in very random locations, in various random scenarios.

To add to the gender fuckery of Cimrman. Born male, raised female, discovered the truth at 15 on accident, lived his life presenting male and when everything went to hell after the assassination of archduke Ferdinand, Cimrman disappeared and reappeared in Liptákov, this time assuming the identity of a frail old woman who gave tours of the village and ran his own museum. You gotta respect her will to hustle.

Dont forget about the part that YOU can be Cinrmanologist too! Due to the way his life is presented, you can just go to a place and call it Cimrman’s hill and tell a story about how he lived there, when he was accidentally discovering algebra.

Knew a guy who made a sign “Jára Cimrman probably never had a lunch in this house”

Literally everything about the guy is next level fanfiction

Anyway Cimrman 100% came up with the concept of Tumblr which is supported by records of his “information circus” where he employed 12 professors (read: nerds) who would receive phone calls from people asking questions such as “how heavy is the moon?” “which is the highest mountain of the world?” or “when will my husband return from work?” and would answer them off the top of their head, unsourced, often using unconventional measurements, which in its essence is the same as typical Tumblr asks. That, along with the name “information circus” itself reminiscent of typical Tumblr clownery, clearly tells us that Tumblr is the One true website operating on the original concept of the internet as intended by the Master himself.

It should also be noted that while Tumblr is the most faithful to Cimrman’s original vision, there have been also copycats made by people who liked the idea but lacked the Master’s impeccable sense for what is truly important. These people then went on to create services derived from the “information circus” one of which would later come to be known as Seznam.cz, an internet search engine. From that point onwards even more imitators, now named Yahoo and Bing, would sprout, degrading the idea even further, seemingly intentionally evading some base principles of the “information circus”.

He also had his own Google Doodle for the 50th anniversary of the first discovery of one of his theatre plays

Okay, but let’s not forget that Cimrman is also one of the candidates for Czech president 2023

[Trans: picture 1: extraordinary man for ordinary country, Jára Cimrman, the candidate for the president of the Czech Republic, support me’

picture 2: citizen Cimrman, candidate with ambiguous face, I want to support’]

cimrman did 9/11

(^ he did not)

#cimrman was the first man on the moon

Not in person!

However!

He has made some significant changes to the traditional beekeeping costume, which, as you may see, is notably similar to the astronaut suits used by the members of the Apollo 11 mission, and there is more than enough evidence to support that these suits were directly inspired by him

For this, and an (although unsuccessful) attempt at creating an artificial black hole, he was voted to be a honorable member of the Czech Astronomy Association at their 2017 conference

Fun fact: my english tutor in elementary school and a friend of my parents is the daughter of Zdeněk Svěrák, one of the creators of Cimrman and she helped to officially translate some of the plays to English. You can actually go and see them in English in the Cimrman theatre in Prague and it’s really good!!

There’s a Jara Cimrman’s elementary art school in my city! And their festivals are always beautiful, really creative and full of shennenigans.

But - what I think is also a great Jara Cimrman’s tradition - the school didn’t have the name, any name, for 45 years and then in 2015 they just decided to call it “The elementary art school of Jara Cimrman”.

And they also use this:

The photo says: “In summer 1887, Jára Cimrman came to Franzes Bad to play with bad’s band invited by the owner of the Hotel Kaliště and wholesaler of mud, mr. Karl Kota. J Cimrman is caught on this precious photo just in the moment of playing his favourite C-Dur.”

Tear-jerker.

in any language, we know this pain

this is fucking funnier in spanish

This is an always reblog for me.

but the aziracrow kiss was a divorce kiss :(

"Well... lovely knowing you all. May we meet on a better occasion."

“Well… lovely knowing

you all. May we meet on a

better occasion.”

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

the haiku bot is always either incredibly randomly insane or manages to remind me of the most painful heartwrenching things

The most funny thing is how Crowley from Good Omens doesn't want to go to Heaven, Heaven sucks equally as Hell, we don't know if it was even possible for him to become angel again and Aziraphale doesn't understand anything...

And then there's Uriáš, who just casually hangs out in heaven, he gets to celebrate little Jesus's birthday with the saints and angels, he can tempt his boyfriend to play cards anytime he wants, he probably is only still a čert because of the clothes and style. And Petronel doesn't understand anything. Never. The two share one braincell and it is awlays Uriáš who has it.

Blok B: Psychologie

1. Jaroslav Flegr

Jaroslav Flegr (* 12. března 1958 Praha), je český biolog, vysokoškolský pedagog a popularizátor vědy, který se ve svém výzkumu zaměřuje na biologickou evoluci, zejména pak v oblastech etologie, evoluční parazitologie a evoluční psychologie.

2. SIgmund Freud

Sigmund Freud (6. května 1856, Příbor – 23. září 1939, Londýn), rodným jménem Sigismund Šlomo Freud, byl rakouský lékař-neurolog, psycholog a zakladatel psychoanalýzy. Narodil se v Příboře, v německy mluvící židovské rodině pocházející z Haliče. Vytvořil psychoterapeutickou metodu založenou na volných asociacích pacienta, vytvoření přenosového vztahu s ním a na interpretaci jeho promluv, snů, přenosových emocí a odporu během terapie.

Proč je tato osobnost ikonická?

něco něco pokusní králíci něco něco

“wearing all pink to the barbie movie” “wearing full suits to the minion movie” the children yearn for themed parties

vše je v pořádku (haraší mi ve věži)

můj způsob truchlení po té sezóně

The popularity of ships like Aziraphael/Crowley and Ed/Stede makes so much sense because it’s the classic good boy meets bad boy except this time the bad boy is also a good boy, the good boy is insane actually, and both boys are middle aged men

crowley shifting into protective husband mode