Collecting from Good Omens fandom for my entertainment

Inspired by the love letter from Persuasion, but it’s Aziraphale’s.

«I have no choice but to remain silent. My side wouldn't like it any other way. They may not pay much attention to me these days, but I still feel the weight of their judgment. And every day I fear more and more that my determination is waning. I would like to raise a prayer to Her, to grant me greater strength, but all my thoughts are far from holiness and angels should not need to pray. I therefore must use this letter as a means that can remain hidden from Heaven, with the hope that, by writing what I can’t tell you, Crowley, my soul will finally find peace.

How long has it been since the Garden of Eden? History took shape before our eyes, generations were born and passed, yet we continued to move forward. Everything is gone, but you are not. You are my constant.

It was the sheer force of wonder with which you looked at the stars that first attracted me. I'm still drawn to you, like a traveler who needs those stars to find the way. Almost as if I had looked at you back then and thought… this really is where it all begins.

My hand is shaking on the paper. There is nothing ethereal about what I feel. Is this the essence of temptation? Yet it doesn't seem wrong. It seems as if it’s the most real thing in the whole creation.

If I dare to write this, you need to know that it isn’t for the sake of the forbidden, nor for a mere spark of rebellion in breaking the rules. It's not because I know I can never have you. I can't help myself when it comes to you, Crowley.

Your kindness, which you deny. Your compassion, which you try to hide. The way you don’t judge me for the things that I enjoy. How we walk side by side, every time a little bit closer. How you explain things I want to comprehend. Even your mischiefs. Yes, the ones you think I didn’t notice. You make me want to forget that sides exist. When I stare into your eyes, I see strength and goodness. When I look at you, I see beauty. I know exactly who you are and I believe you know exactly who I am. We chose each other. And, even if sometimes it will seem different to you, even if we will argue and think we don't understand, you must know that for me there has never been and there will never be another choice besides you.

Now I must go. The Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeepers Association wants to involve me in some meeting and I have no desire to be found. I will hide this letter between the pages of a book, which I will certainly never sell, and it will be as if it had never been written. Yet with the hope that, if you ever found it and took off your sunglasses and read these words, you would look at me and tell me that you would like to stop pretending…

In my lousy French, because I know this would make you smile… je te fais confiance, de tout mon cœur. With all my heart, Aziraphale.»

Listen to me okay LISTEN - Aziraphale's little giggle right before he takes Crowley's hand to dance to everything to me okay. Everything. It's giddy, it's silly, it's playful. Like a kid that's finally plucked up the courage to ask their crush out on a date and god if that isn't just them because in this wonderful world of romance they really are just children. They have been on this earth for 6000 years and watched and waited, but they have felt. You can't tell me that for every human they saw fall in love they didn't wonder, didn't contemplate, didn't want just a bit of that. They didn't think who but who else but each other. Two halves of a whole, two opposing magnets inexplicably orbiting and pulling each other in. Not being able to explain it or make sense of it but feeling it every step of the way, coming up with excuse after excuse to continue to see each other because not only could they not show it but they couldn't even make sense of it in their own heads. They have seen humans make friends and fall in love time and time again but they aren't human, they're an angel and a demon and this is completely new. This partnership, this group of the two of them is just that - it's just Aziraphale and Crowley. No point of reference, no support, no other friends or family to talk to because the only thing they have is each other. They have to figure this all out on their own and that giggle, that giggle, is Aziraphale finally making some progress to understand this love that's been in him for hundreds of years and it's hope that he might finally get it in return.

no but i'm still thinking about this post and now i want a fic that's just duke of hell crowley and archangel aziraphale somehow always ending up in the elevator together, having a silent fight over whether they go up or down first in the mornings and tense silence in the evening when they both return to earth.

because they're not talking. about any of it. aziraphale is in the bookshop with muriel whenever he goes back to earth and crowley has his (renovated) flat. it's horrible. they miss each other. crowley refuses to cave and it's a matter of pride, spite, and heartbreak he needs to process. aziraphale still went back to heaven, even if he's technically 'living' on earth. he went back to hell because fuck it, he might as well try to stop the second coming himself.

it starts slow. aziraphale brings him a coffee one morning and crowley looks at it for a long while before taking it just before he gets off. crowley brings him a muffin the next day. they do small talk, they begin to say "good morning" and "see you tomorrow" and most of it is lingering looks and almost-touches, but it helps.

then one evening, late, later than usual, they're both exhausted and had horrible days caused by the same bureaucratic bullshit, and when they part in front of the pub, aziraphale hesitates.

nightcap? he tries to smile, tries to not seem too hopeful, tries to ignore the way his heart beatsbeatsbeats.

sure. crowley decides one drink can't hurt.

(it's not just one drink. it's a bottle. they talk about nothing important, complain about work and idiotic celestial beings.

two bottles in, aziraphale grows brave.

two bottles in, crowley grows desperate.

crowley, he says in that tone of voice that means something big is about to follow, and he cannot do that, not tonight, not yet. so he kisses him, leans into his instincts to shut him up, and as it does, one thing leads to another, and the next morning the elevator ride is awkward.

they both come out of the bookshop. not a single word is spoken.)

two things happened that night, and i have only told you about one of them, but it's the other one that changes things.

they figure it out eventually, they always do, but for now their fingers brush when they both try to go for the buttons, and crowley flinches back like he's been burned. aziraphale swallows apologies and tears, and, after a moment of thought, presses 'down' first.

it's a start.

Oh sweet baby Jesus, where is the full blown fic? WHERE?! Seriously, I'm so bad at writing, I need someone to do it, please 😭

but what if the "you don't dance" comment in s2ep6 was a direct callback to 1941 when everything was going so romantically and they were back in the bookshop and making eyes at each other and put on music and nightingale started playing and Crowley braver than ever in his life asked Aziraphale to dance, maybe even bowing down cheekily and offering an arm, and first Aziraphale takes it delightedly and gets up but then falters and gets scared and draws back and lies "I'm an angel, I don't dance" and then everything gets angsty and the sentence sticks in Crowley's mind like tar and feathers and he believes it, he believes him, angels don't dance, (angels don't consort with demons either, we can never truly be together, even if we both want it) and he takes it to heart and that's why Aziraphale asking him to dance is almost earthshattering in its overt symbolism, it's Aziraphale saying "I'm ready to dance with you now" but all Crowley can do is stand flabbergasted and say "you don't dance" because angels don't dance, you don't dance, because he remembers what Aziraphale said and what he did not say in the silence between..... they did not dance in 1941 and then in the present they dance at last but it isn't quite right is it because can't Aziraphale see the threat?? and can't Crowley stop saying such distracting things about demons and attacks?? what if the dance comes too late?what if angels finally DO dance, what if Aziraphale WANTS to dance, and Crowley too, but there's no nightingale's song anymore to dance to???? what then??????

@highlyillogicalandroid your tags should be part of this post i cry 😭

And in this exact moment this thought hit me: this might be one of the damn reasons Aziraphale took that job! Fuck it. Not just because he wanted to make change in Heaven and all that bullshit, but we knew that. Not just because in general he never stopped believing that Crowley is good. This act of utter kindness convinced him that 1. Crowley loves him 2. someone who is that kind and selfless MUST be nothing but angel - in classic meaning... not like that bullies up there. The Light, the Good, the Truth. And that said someone must want to be nothing but angel. If he had any doubt before - however he is very single-minded about Crowley's kindness - this is now vanished. So when Metatron said him they could return back to Heaven - both of them - I'm quite sure he not just thought about the millenia-long nice acts he witnessed from Crowley but thought exactly to the scene 15 minutes before. Yeah and of course he expected Heaven could be a safe place for them blablabla but I think without this experience he wouldn't have been 200% sure Crowley will happily come with him when he tell him the offer.

Yes, I'm normal about this, why?

Good Omens - Season 2 - Episode 6 Comic Edit

How to make yourself cry in the morning, if your default existential crisis is not enough? Watch/read this masterpiece! Recommended by every GO fan. Warning: cause side effect of serious heartache and urge to scream into the void.

Really, how does it still make me dig my nails into my face? I'm unwell. Thanks OP. You... evil genius.