from “Murder Art Through the Ages” by Shintaro Kago

This assortment of tools much too easily twisted my body and tore it apart. Each time he made me suffer, he told me to “count down from 1,000 by 75, and recite the numbers out loud.” Though the reason for doing this escaped me at first, I realized the task was meant to force me to retain consciousness. And I clung to those numbers, using my head to distract me. Now that my Ghoul’s power was suppressed what felt pain was the human in me. The agony was enough to drive a person insane. When the effects of the shot wore off, he would feed me and wait for me to heal. After I recovered, he would give me another injection. An endless cycle… As I healed over and over and over again. I got the feeling that I truly was a monster… Let’s say I knew a secret, and this torture was meant to make me talk. Then perhaps I’d still have some peace of mind. But meaningless torture, when torture itself is the purpose… What is there but despair?