Who do you think fall for the other first, killua or Gon ? :D

i realize this might be a Highly Controversial Take, but i think gon fell in love first. namely, i think gon fell in love during the hunter exam, and killua fell in love right at the end of the testing gate arc.  initially i was just going to leave it at that & say that this is my personal headcanon simply because i just happen to vibe with it, but then i got in the shower & started thinking about it & realized that there are actually quite a few reasons i hold this view.  so it’s meta time!!!!!!  because this is MY blog with MY rules & i can ramble about killugon to my heart’s content & no one can stop me.

1. why i don’t think killua was in love with gon prior to the testing gate arc

my main evidence for this is killua’s reaction to gon’s fight with hanzo.  hanzo beats the living daylights out of gon during that fight & basically everyone watching is absolutely horrified.  except, quite notably, killua. (okay, and maybe, like, hisoka, but hisoka being weird more or less goes without saying).  leorio & kurapika are ready to THROW HANDS when hanzo breaks gon’s arm.  kurapika’s eyes go scarlet, which is one of the very very few times in the anime we see that happen due to a situation not related to the kurta massacre.  so there’s absolutely no mistaking that gon getting beaten to a pulp is supposed to be extremely disturbing to everyone witnessing it.

now killua, on the other hand, watches all of this go down with relatively little emotional investment.  he solely watches the fight through an analytical lens.  he’s still bitter that gon was ranked higher than he was in the tournament, and his reaction to hanzo’s first concussion-inducing blow is to get irritated, because he would’ve been able to dodge that, so his ranking should’ve been better than gon’s.  unlike kurapika & leorio, he has absolutely no intention of intervening after hanzo breaks gon’s arm.  very little about this situation disturbs him in the slightest.

this is in no way throwing shade at killua.  it’s absolutely and completely clear why he can take such a dispassionate view of that fight--he was raised in an environment in which mercilessly beating children is just business as usual.  but if we contrast his relatively neutral view of gon’s fight with hanzo with how angry he gets after gon gets injured in his fight with gido in heaven’s arena, it’s very clear that something changed in the time between those two encounters.

2. why i do think gon was in love with killua from the hunter exam

in short, the testing gate arc.  now ostensibly, the testing gate arc is about killua and the dynamics of the zoldyck family, but in my opinion, it’s actually far more about gon.  namely, it’s about gon’s complete devotion to killua, and his willingness to risk his life in order to be with him.  the plot of the testing gate arc is overwhelmingly driven by one singular factor--gon’s insistence that he wants to see killua again.  gon watches two men /literally/ get chewed up and spit out by mike after they trespass onto the zoldyck’s property, and his immediate response is to... try to trespass onto the zoldyck’s property.  he lets canary beat the living hell out of him, and his constant refrain, as he keeps getting hit again & again, is just that he wants to see killua.  everyone points to killua’s complete devotion to gon as a proof of killua’s feelings, but they seem to overlook the fact that there is an arc in which the plot is literally just “gon will endure any amount of cruelty and pain and danger just for the slightest chance of seeing killua again.”

3. why i think the testing gate arc was the game changer for killua

i’m sorry--it all comes back to the testing gate arc.  those episodes are some of my all time favorites of the entire series, so you’ve gotta listen to me talk about them for just a bit longer.  my evidence for this claim is two-fold.

the first piece of evidence is the change we see in killua’s behavior between the hunter exam and heaven’s arena.  the fandom loves to joke that killua willingly accepted gon’s compliments during the hunter exam, but then a switch flipped & he’s suddenly all bashful about it in heaven’s arena.  hmm, i wonder what that switch could possibly be...  it’s actually at the very very start of the heaven’s arena arc when we see this change.  killua is doing that little bit where he shows the difference in power between hisoka, hanzo, gon, and himself, and gon tells him that he’s amazing.  immediately, killua gets incredibly startled and embarrassed--he literally jumps and quickly goes bright red (rewatch that scene if you don’t know what i’m talking about because it’s extremely precious).  clearly something changed between the exam and heaven’s arena to make killua suddenly get overwhelmed and shy when gon praises him.  and there is really only one thing that happened between those two arcs--the testing gate.

my second piece of evidence for this claim involves a lot more extrapolation/personal opinion than the very textually based argument i’ve made so far, but it’s my sleepover so i get to pick the headcanon.  more or less, i think the testing gate was the first time anyone ever truly went out of their way for killua.  he’s grown up with no friends and an incredibly abusive and toxic family.  no one has ever stuck their neck out for him or made a sacrifice for him.  and suddenly he sees that gon, a twelve year old kid with no combat training thus far, willingly challenged the single most dangerous family in the world simply to see him again.  he sees gon’s busted up face and understands that gon was willing to suffer pain and violence and danger just for a chance to be with him.  when in killua’s life has anyone ever tried to protect him?  when in killua’s life has anyone been willing to suffer anything for him?  the testing gate arc is a real turning point in gon & killua’s relationship in a much bigger way than i think a lot of us realize.

so that’s it.  that’s my Piping Hot Take about why gon was actually in love with killua first.  i know that the fandom as a whole seems to favor the opinion that killua was the first one to develop feelings, and everyone is absolutely entitled to their own perspective.  the beautiful thing about fandom is that we all see these characters & stories through a slightly different lens, so i don’t think whatsoever that my perspective is the only correct one.  i really just had a very very long shower and too much time to think ;)