One unexpected thing about being on T is the way that cis men are also jealous of you

Trans men being jealous? Especially those who aren't on T yet? Yeah fair, expected that one

I did not expect cis men to start being like "how are you 4 months on T and already have a deeper voice and more facial hair than me" lmao

But also it really just goes to show you that testosterone affects everyone differently and that 100% includes cis men as well. Chances are that if you're dysphoric about your voice, height, etc. there is also a cis man out there rn insecure about the exact same things

Make your own 💀

Cisgender men are extremely jealous of the way I travel through Boston

Great post everyone, hit the showers

I met a girl when I was fresh out of high school in undergrad who frankly, annoyed me quite a bit, but I also had an inkling to continue to be compassionate to her given a few things about her life/background/family

I ran into her two years ago. Last week, her daughter turned 1. This girl, let’s called her “P”, is a really good example of why I never feel comfortable mocking trad wives

Her perfect trad husband, who was a shining young figure in the local religious community, volunteered in all sorts of groups, well loved in his workplace and everything else, beat her up at 1 month post-partum. I reached out to her after seeing her desperately asking for a stroller on a page, confused and slightly concerned knowing both of them came from wealthy backgrounds.

The reality for lots of tradwives living “perfect lives” is this: P was immediately ostracised. All the wealth of her husband and her family meant absolutely nothing if she wasn’t in favour and doing what she was told. Her child and her well-being didn’t matter. P, at 25 years old, was basically deemed an oopsie, and left on her own to figure out how to pay for herself, a baby, find housing, and every other task you can think of.

Having known many of these women (and supported many of these women), another factor most people don’t consider is this: they are intentionally raised to be helpless. When I immediately offered my support to P, she really needed it. This young woman needed to be guided through how to apply for government assistance, how to weigh up rentals and apply for them, how to apply for jobs, how to sign up for childcare. How to sign up for your own power and internet, and how to connect them.

It wasn’t that she was “stupid”, or incapable, or spoiled. While it looks like they’re being sheltered, in reality, these women are practically being held hostage. Sure, they might be allowed to learn things that are expected of them (see: basic cooking, baking, cleaning, child rearing, women’s bible studies, hosting, and so forth) but they are heavily controlled from family life into marriage life, and they are never given the opportunity or the reality of what many of us would consider basic adult tasks.

She’s doing okay now. Her daughter turned 1, is happy and healthy. They live frugally, but they have a roof over their heads and the essentials. I often babysit for her so she can attend counselling, or go to a woman’s support group. She is painfully aware that she has so much to learn about how to live as an adult.

I don’t envy tradwives, but I don’t find any joy in mocking them either. Even when they live the most picturesque lives, they’re also practically living a real life Jenga game. If (and often, when) it comes tumbling down, they’re screwed too, and they often have 0 skills to help themselves or find community (that again, isn’t carefully curated).

I have yet to listen to this podcast episode, but I’ve been recommended it on the topic, and a friend said it really helped shift her thinking about this topic from pure disdain and hatred for these women to understanding the complexities a bit more.

Important:

I think that as this has spread further than I intended, a few people may have missed the original point.

I am not saying that you have to become best friends with tradwives and former tradwives, break bread with them, hype them up and everything they do. I am not saying you have to ignore problematic beliefs they have have held or shared during their time as a tradwife, or that you have to forgive and be super comfortable with them.

What I am saying is that when a tradwife either a) leaves that life or b) shares information from her life that normally would be suppressed, mocking her serves no purpose. If one of these women share that they got beat for burning potatoes slightly, or were given a strict $100 allowance a week to do shopping and not allowed a bank account, or had 5 children back to back and were not allowed pain relief or medical support, I don’t enjoy it when people say things like “what did she expect” “that’s what she gets” “fuck around and find out lol” (such as happened when the ballerina farm article came out)

This just pushes them back towards their cult, or if they were considering leaving, will squash that really quick!

every time I think about my gender I get confused so I simply stopped thinking about it. it is not my problem

actually it’s for more than my gender

"goddess" "matriarchy" "female wisdom" girl your civic rights

“But I didn’t and still don’t like making a cult of women’s knowledge, preening ourselves on knowing things men don’t know, women’s deep irrational wisdom, women’s instinctive knowledge of Nature, and so on. All that all too often merely reinforces the masculinist idea of women as primitive and inferior – women’s knowledge as elementary, primitive, always down below at the dark roots, while men get to cultivate and own the flowers and crops that come up into the light. But why should women keep talking baby talk while men get to grow up? Why should women feel blindly while men get to think?”

— Ursula K. Le Guin

helen “trans people are perpetuating gender steriotypes” joyce is now upset that the scientific american is writing about how women were hunters too back in the day, not just mothers and caretakers. feminist win!

I think I found the article!

Read it if you have the time, it's very interesting.

Reading the article I see why TERFs are mad about it; it explicitly makes the distinction between gender as a social entity and sex as a biological category, and defines biological sex having multiple factors, both of which are anathema to TERF philosophy.

It also includes these fascinating paragraphs about the role of estrogen in different types of physical activity, directly debunking the widespread notion that estrogen is the weak human's hormone and only does weak human things:

The article also talks about sexual dimorphism in different species, concluding that "Modern humans have low sexual dimorphism compared with the other great apes," and that overemphasis on averages obscures the wide dispersal of individual traits, which is what I keep saying.

I also thought this part was cool :)

PLEASE read this article, this information is incredible for everyone looking to unlearn bioessentialism

Always reblog...this article is so good.

Also I love how the illustrations portray the woman using stereotypically "female" strength (hips/legs) to carry a deer she hunted on her hip and the man is using stereotypically "male" upper body strength to carry a baby on his back. It just goes to show that the activities we see as suited to men or women "biologically" are actually a cultural perception.

was gonna write "gender is fake there is only anime" but i accidentally hit the laugh emoji background when hitting space and lost it

EXACTLY!

it pisses you off to see a faggot be so happy

#so correct#similar w straight women hating butch lesbians#you see a woman not shaving not wearing make up wearing comfy clothes and still being loved and desired#and remember you've contorted yourself into the shape of a Real Woman in exchange for soc acceptance & power#and denied yourself the gentle acceptance of doing what is comfortable on this earth#people needa stop taking out their own shit on gender nonconforming & trans people and start LEARNING from us#cause it is very obvious when cishet people are miserable and mad that we aren't (via @closet-keys)

i think i'm okay with any pronouns however the ones you choose to refer to me with will effect the ending you get so make sure to read the guide if you're trying to unlock all of them

https://twitter.com/delaneykingrox/status/1090402436995473408

a great thing about people transitioning is it presents us with scenarios where we have the perfect control variable to undeniably reveal sexism in the workplace. I read about a trans man neuroscientist who was told he was “so much smarter than his sister” (his sister being his pre-transition self)

and damn i knew the gaming industry was notoriously sexist (even more sexist than other stem fields, and that’s saying a lot) but seeing it laid out so clearly like this is so demoralizing.

Ben Barres was that neuroscientist

Barres has been discussed a lot by my peers, and is generally considered an icon for people like me. And his biting statements on sexism are a HUGE part of that. I don’t have much to say other than yes, it’s a big problem and still is.

draw him with boobs!! draw her with a flat chest!!!!! this is an order soldier!!!!

YOUNG MAN!

There's no need to feel down,

I MEAN YOUNG THEY!

I forgot your pronoun,

When I was a kid I was “darn I just love when female characters pretend to be dudes for whatever reason” and the reason will not shock you in the slightest

get 🥺 men 🥺 flowers 🥺

the statements "clothes don't have gender" and "clothes can and do invoke gender dysphoria and euphoria for many people" can and should coexist.

"men don't need to be afraid walking around at night"

Unless they're black

"men make more than women in jobs"

Black men make less than white women on average

"men don't get followed around by people who mean them harm"

Black men are heavily policed and regularly jumped and killed for just walking down the street

"no one tells a man what he can and cannot do with his own body"

Black men are repeatedly assaulted and have their hair forcibly shaved or cut for wearing their hair natural and in culturally important styles. Black men who choose body modifications like tattoos or piercings are branded as thugs. Black men who have children and black men who don't have children are both regarded as players, hounddogs, absent fathers, and baby daddies, as if the logical answer is that no one's first choice of partner and father of their children would ever be a black man.

"no one judges a man's worth based on his clothes"/"a man isn't ever in danger no matter what he wears"

Black men are required to look presentable and professional according to eurocentric standards, push themselves into clothes not made for their bodies, and be highly uncomfortable in their daily lives or else risk 'fitting the profile' or 'matching the description' and getting detained by police AT BEST for the crime of existing in public. Black men wearing comfortable clothes are seen as sloppy, thugs, gangsters, street rats, hood and ghetto.

"no man fears rape"

The rape and sexual assault of black men ties directly to black buck stereotypes and black fetishization to the point where liking a black person or having your dating pool be open to black people is treated like a sexuality much like being gay. People are both threatened by and aroused by our bodies and that leads them to perform extreme acts of violence on us, including rape, SA, coercion, trafficking, and more. Much like how "tranny" and "lesbian" is a porn category, so is Big Black Cock. Sometimes with us featured as the rapist. Sometimes with us featured as the victim. Almost never with us featured as intimate, passionate, loving, tender. Black men are either to be feared and reviled, or to be broken and forced to submit. Direct ties to slavery with white people still getting off to our suffering.

Just say you don't care as much about black people's suffering and go, jesus.

I have privilege because I sometimes pass as a man? Try walking in my shoes for a while. Turns out being a black man vs being a black woman isn't always so different.

I do think it's really interesting that I have a lot of black butches and trans mascs on this post verifying in their tags that yes they've lived both as 'black woman' and as 'black man' and 'black man' is really not the improvement it's advertised to be and in the mean time I have also a bunch of nonblack people and especially white europeans saying this post is stupid and no one who agrees knows anything about what it's like to be a black woman and I'm just wondering out of the two options who do you think is more knowledgeable about what black people go through? 🤔

My nephew was 6 years old when his mother sat him down and explained to him very plainly what happens to black boys and black men who are out at night.

Both of my parents worked in education. My white (passing) mother was a special ed teacher in a middle school. My father was her district's administrator. She was paid more than him. Significantly. They both have Master's Degrees.

My nephew was 13 when Trayvon Martin was killed. His mother asked him to please make sure he came home before the streetlights came on, and if he couldn't make it to not wear a hoodie and certainly don't wear it up. No matter how cold.

My nephew and my father were both pinned down and had their afros shaved/ruined by teachers, people they should have been able to trust. My nephew, my cousins, and more than one of my uncles have had the same happen to their locs. When my mother became pregnant very early in my parents' marriage, no one believed that she actually *wanted* to marry my dad but that she'd accidentally become pregnant and married him to not be ashamed. When my parents adopted my sister who is much darker skinned than my other sister or myself, the assumption was that she was a child from one of dad's previous marriages (he's only ever been married to one woman: my mom) and that my sister was only there because of a custody battle. The first time my dad came to pick me up from school, the office refused to let him in the building and called the police on him for trying to abduct me, because everyone knew my mom was white and the logical conclusion of a black man picking up his black/mixed kid from school was that he was a kidnapper and not that he was my fucking father.

My father arrived home late one night after flying in from Japan and was understandably in comfortable clothes after being exclusively in suits in Japan in the middle of summer for 6 months. Our neighbor saw him pull into the driveway, let himself in the back door... and called the police saying a black man in a hoodie was breaking into our house. We'd lived there at that point for more than a decade. My nephew and I have been followed around in stores for wearing beaters and basketball shorts in the middle of summer. My cousin was harassed by cops while sitting at the bus stop because he had his hood up and was listening to music on his ipod. My uncle was cornered by airport security and ended up missing his flight because someone gave a 'tip' that he 'looked suspicious' in his jeans and a t-shirt.

Every single one of my older black relatives, male and female, have been raped. Every single one. Some of the younger ones too.

This is not a 'what if' post. This is not a 'higher discussion of systemic violence' post. This is a 'stop erasing the experiences of black men because you think there is no way on earth a black man can suffer outside of [just racism]' post.

two years ago I posted this and two years later this still rings true, but I want to draw attention to something:

This is the post that netted me my "reputation" for saying that black women have it better than black men or that black women caused these problems.

This post was made in specifically because of radfem talking points, in direct response to a radfem post I saw and was mad about. Two years later I am seeing white radfems say the same about F1nn5ter. My response is still the same. A: trans women aren't men, B: that's not even true of cis men because marginalized cis men experience all of these things on a regular basis.

No where in this post does this blame black women for anything or say that black women don't experience this- in fact I specifically mention black butches in multiple reblogs and in other posts discussing this exact topic. Black women are frequently forcibly degendered and masculinized, and God forbid a black woman actually be GNC and masculine or transgender because then her risk of violence to be enacted upon her is at an absurd height.

This is a critique of white, radical feminism and how it actively perpetuates racism. Don't get it twisted.

Anyway when I bring up these points with this post, this is the sort of attitude I'm talking about. ALL of these are from a recent post where I am talking about my specific experience as a black trans man and ALL of these are nonblack people taking it upon themselves to give lip service to acknowledging black people are oppressed and then IMMEDIATELY following up with not including black men in their idea of what counts as oppressed.

When I say white radical feminism leaves racially marginalized men out of discussions of their own oppression, this is what I'm talking about.

This was from a post where I said people talk over me frequently and tell me my voice as a black person doesn't matter and I was taught not to tolerate it as a girl and I'm certainly not going to start tolerating it as a man. That people have regarded my presence as a black person as a threat just existing in an area my entire life and I didn't think it was a good thing when I was a black girl and I still don't think it's a good thing as a black man. This was a post about antiblack racism and how it affects me, an entire ass black trans man.

And nonblack people STILL sought to completely erase my perspective off my own post.

Does it hurt, when I point out your racism? Is it uncomfortable to realize that you're not innocent in spreading and perpetuating the same racism that's caused black people to die to violence at astronomical rates? Is it a hard pill to swallow?

Good. Choke.

“Mean girls all grow up to be nurses!”

“Mean girls all go into social work!”

“The mean girl to teacher pipeline!”

Y’all, these are just pink collar jobs. The reason you think there’s so many “mean girls” in these fields is because they’re all like 97% women. Of course some of them are gonna be assholes. There’s assholes everywhere.

We get it. Your job isn’t like other girls’ jobs. It’s a cool job.

it’s true that there are some incredibly cruel people in all of these professions.

it’s also true that they all suffer from chronic underpayment, overwork, lack of institutional support, and insane bureaucratic demands that would make them fail the people in their care all the time even if every single one was a saint.

That’s absolutely missing the point.

While those are all “helper” professions and they very much are pink collar (and are underpaid, that’s not an incompatible idea), they’re also ones that involve power over vulnerable people’s lives. (And I’ve only encountered it as a comparison to, say, male bullies becoming cops, it’s not like men aren’t being mentioned here.)

Secretaries/administrative assistants aren’t on that list for a reason. Flight attendants aren’t on that list. Housecleaners aren’t on that list. Receptionists. Customer service representatives. Dental hygienists. The people who style hair or do nails. That’s not a list of pink collar jobs. It’s specifically (pink collar) positions where if you want to abuse people you’re relatively likely to get away with it.

It can both be true that “nurses who care for disabled people need better pay” and “nurses who care for disabled people have a lot of opportunities to abuse their power and that’s something worth talking about.”

Women aren’t immune from treating people badly because they’re women, or because women are underpaid. They’re sure not immune from specifically seeking out jobs that will allow them to be cruel without any consequences to them, if they get personal satisfaction out of being cruel.

You are trying to shut down a conversation about abuse.

Shitty people are attracted to positions of power. That includes working class women!

There have been a lot of studies about hazing and abuse in nursing communities and even murder!

My mother is a nurse, her co-workers sit around laughing about the people who fall out of their wheel chairs, about the nurses who do cry when someone dies, my mother has ignored patients crying out in pain in order to drink her coffee.

My mother has intentionally let elderly patients at her nursing home die. She has abused them and she has laughed about it. She has left people suffering and has caused that suffering.

Nurses are underpaid and they are disrespected as medical professionals who aren’t a doctor. That’s true and we should talk about that, but we can not ignore the fact that violent women seek out these jobs with God Complexes and the intent to do harm.

Sure, that harm might be because they are bitter, over-worked, and disrespected. None the less, it is no different than when a male doctor causes purposeful harm to his patient.

Nurses contribute to eugenics, to patient abuse, elder abuse, and yeah even child abuse (my mother was proficient in all of them!)

Here are some important articles to read:

Nurses Eat Their Young An article about hazing and bullying among nurses. The title comes from a common saying in medical circles, the first time I heard it, it was in reference to my mother’s best friend who had poured coffee over the hands of a new nurse who had reported another nurse to a superior for abusing a patient.

Bullying in Nursing – Why The Hazing is Getting Worse A brief article on forms of hazing.

Nurse hazing: a costly reality

Why do nurses abuse patients? Reflections from South African obstetric services

Patients’ lives being left at mercy of abusive nurses

Every single one of these articles, with exception of the last – which is guardian article – is a professionally published medical article.

They wanna say the word so bad

thats not a fag thats a canvasser for clean water action

this is like the boy version of “this is the butchest girl twitter can handle before they start getting scared.” that is a masc guy wearing a daisy pin