alright so i finally finished reading the cantwell run

and yeah I knew I wasn't going to love it going in. But I tried to give it a fair shot! I actively tried to find things I could like about it. I appreciate someone wanting to write a character-driven Iron Man story instead of just coming up with the most insane plot possible, I appreciate the focus on trauma and addiction. There are some moments I liked. I actually liked the last arc, and the special final issue as well.

But ultimately I'm just so tired.

I don't even know how much I actually liked the last arc or if it was just better enough than what came before it that I found it relieving. Like. I'm just tired.

Maybe the problem is me! Maybe the problem is me and I'm insisting on holding on to a version of the character that hasn't existed in 25-30 years and I just need to let it go. Maybe this is an incredible run of Iron Man because this just is who Tony Stark is now and I need to let go. I feel like I'm going insane when I read Iron Man comics because I'm like.........you're writing a critique on a version of the character that isn't even!!!!!!!! him!!!!!!! that isn't even him!!!!!!!!!! but it's been!!!!!! IT'S BEEN DECADES SO WHO IS HE ANYMORE I GUESS!!!! this is maybe a fascinating character deconstruction and reconstruction. maybe it is! but who is that you're deconstructing. who even is that. it's a frankenstein's monster amalgamation of every new notion of tony stark that's been thrown at the wall and happened to stick over the last 20-whatever years i'm just so tired

how many times do we need to tell stories that are like "OH NO tony stark's EGO is making him WREAK HAVOC ON EVERYONE" how many times do we need to give him a god complex and make it about his ego. how many times do his good intentions and his good heart need to be undermined. why is it always about arrogance, about how much of a jerk he is to his friends. I was trying my best for a good portion of the run but dear god did he lose me at the iron god arc. always trying to write the next big ginormous memorable iron man villain or wild plot point.

tony stark's employees were loyal to him because he was kind to them, you know. he knew them by name. tony stark valued being on the ground, helping people from beside them and not always from some ivory tower. tony stark desired sweet and meaningful connections with other people, lovers or friends or those he could help or anyone. tony stark was like. boy-scoutish in how good he was. tony stark drew a heart on a frosted window and softly lamented to himself "if I only had a heart." tony stark was carol danvers' sponsor when she was recovering from alcoholism.

don't get me wrong, he's one messy dude. his struggles with addiction, his obsession with work, his self-hatred and self-doubt, there's so much that gets in his way. But does a broken heart make him predisposed to being.....bad?

It feels like Civil War is just an unshakeable shadow at this point.

It feels like a few things. 1. the shift in tone of his series in the 2000s that took a turn for the sleek and gritty, 2. the, quite frankly, character assassination of Civil War that was so potent that comic writers never stopped associating tony stark with god complexes and villainy and 3. needing to create synergy with the mcu but mainly doing that based on the surface aspects of mcu tony

leaving us with this version of tony 15, 20 years later who is. like. a copy of a copy of a copy.

and we get story after story of, like, this critique on how arrogant he is or how he can't get his ego in check enough to not play god and I won't say his stories are always unsympathetic to him but it's been a heck of a long time since I've read an Iron Man run that feels like it truly, genuinely has love for Tony Stark. Or even tries to understand him beyond the copy of a copy of a copy that developed in the 2000s-2010s.

Why does his broken heart always have to lead him toward being harmful? Why is it always tony stark makes a bad decision even though it may have started with good intentions and needs to learn his lesson? Why doesn't his broken heart ever lead him toward being soft? Why doesn't it ever lead him toward simple love and kindness? It did once. Tony Stark was soft once, he actually was.

I'm just tired dude