music theorists how does this make you feel

At first glance, it made me want to throw up, but when I realized it could be plausible to try if I break down each revolution into HORIZONTAL staffs, I wanted to throw up again because the time signatures change mid-revolution sometimes and these key changes???? I mean maybe? Idk. I haven’t even got out of bed and looking at this made my piano cry.

This would probably make more sense if I was on acid because I’m not fantastic at music theory, but I hope the music theory side of tumblr responds.

MY OLD MUSIC THEORY PROFESSOR IS A SAVAGE

This hit me on a spiritual level lol

Musikwissenschaft does it all

now that I am Old and Mature, I’m finally starting to understand why people like mozart. I just started analyzing one of his piano pieces because that’s apparently what I do now, and there is just so much delightful bullshit everywhere

it starts with this very slow, serious thing

and that continues for a while so you’re like “oh man mozart you’re really not having a good day are you.” and then he makes a quick modulation and starts this whole new section with a cheesy little V-I-V-I melody

and then he gets bored of that and starts up a new section that’s all Serious and you can tell it’s Serious because it starts out with a half step motion

and then like three lines later he says “scrap that” and does a stupid lil alberti bass thing in f major

and then on the next page we get this nonsense

more bullshit ensues, he does a fancy little sequence thing and has diminished seventh chords up the wazoo, and then he returns to the original theme, which is very slow, and he develops it a little so we end up having this towards the very end:

things are very slow, very calm, mysterious, and then suddenly mozart realized that this piece has been going on for ten whole minutes so he just does this

and then it’s over. I now understand why people find his music to be genuinely funny. this piece is stupid and I love it

goodness I guess don’t read music theory books to feel good about yourself