Solitary Heathenry

Growing up I found comfort in solitude. Not isolation, but solitude. Naturally, this preferred mindset found its way into my religion, seeping through my core causing me to practice as an individual alone in the world of the gods. When I grew older I looked to branch out to find others like me. Not because I felt something was missing, but because my curiosity had the better of me. What would it be like to have others like me all practicing together? Was I missing out? The only accessible way to test the waters before making yourself known was the internet, so I started there. I added those who identified as Ásatrúar and Norse Heathen to my facebook page and looked for local kindreds as well.

Still, though, it felt against the grain to make my religion into something social when instead my religion was quiet whispers I sent and received in the early morning, or the still reflection when all the sound around me disappeared and I felt nothing but the gods. It wasn’t just in communal blóts. Quiet moments with my gods alone was my religion, and anything different would change the core of how I honored them.

At one point there was a thread on the page of someone I had added discussing whether or not solitary heathens are practicing the religion properly. All, except one or two, were adamant about the need for a kindred and the social aspect of heathenry. The argument was that the recon religion was based on the participation and kinship between a group and solitary practice takes out 99% of what it is to be heathen. I was upset, not wanting to see that I am not valid because I prefer to not surround myself with other heathens but instead wish to experience my faith the way I experience it. Don’t get me wrong, the idea of a kindred is lovely and nothing makes me happier than a familial bond based on the gods where people come together to celebrate and honor them. I think it’s beautiful. But it’s not for me. It made me sad that people on that thread, for the most part, couldn’t fathom a solitary heathen. What of the wandering völvur? Was their worship not as real as the communal heathen? They took their worship to the innermost parts of themselves. They made their worship a primal and visceral aspect of their being. Was their worship any less? No, it was not any less nor was it any more. It just was, and was as real as any other type of worship.  You are valid if you are a solitary heathen. You are valid if you belong to a kindred. You are valid if you only interact with heathens online. The relationship you have with the gods is between you and them, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

And the old gypsy woman said to me, “Draped in your animal furs, protect yourself from the cold, my child, my child. Live off the land the Gods have given us, for they can as easily forge a monster strong enough to take it away. A monster within, my child, my child.”

Yes, this is me, I may start posting pictures of myself to put a face to this blog.