@lonelyleliel / lonelyleliel.tumblr.com
Moondays Should Be Mindful – [Just Me]
It’s so important to have just one day completely stress free, but that’s not easy…like ever. Considering that many of us have been “grinding” so to speak either in the workforce or in school most of our lives, we can’t just say, “I’m relaxing now,” and boom! You’re chill AF. That’s not life. That’s not the brain. Giving ourselves a moment to pause and just be has to be a practice, just as…
I’ve been listening to three audiobooks for my own self-improvement. Currently, my picks are You Creative Career by Anna Sabino (this is actually a reread for me), The Business of Being a Writer by Jane Friedman, and How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxietyby Ellen Hendriksen, Ph.D. There’s so much about self-improvement that have nothing to do with yourself as an…
My brain is all over the fucking place...I am trying y’all...depression is hitting hard, I’m completely unfocused, I do something for an hour and then I’m exhausted... This is the worst, but it will pass damn it! I’m gonna be fine!! #amwriting #novelwriting #depression #anxiety #fatigue #imtryingmybest #dontgiveup #writerslife https://www.instagram.com/p/CAgGu7eHrhU/?igshid=17qb6klj8il1u
I hate that ongoing heaviness with depression.
I hate even more that I’m living the life I’ve been wanting and moving closer to progress and success and STILL depression is here, like a thousand fucking heavy chains on me. I’m teary-eyed if I’m not busy and dissociating into horrible, horrible memories that become exaggerated by my old pain and even though I persistently strive towards healing and growing, giving advice that I take myself, depression is still there.
Fuck. I’m not giving up. I know it gets better, but holy fucking fuck...
It’s ok to not be ok. This too will pass.
I am grateful to the universe and the spirits who speak to me for stuffed animals and fuzzy pillows.
Anxiety and depression has been hitting me way harder than usual, but squeezing my stuffed snow owl and purple fuzzy pillow helped lightened it so much. I heard somewhere that those who have a lot of these are touch-starved, which may be the case for me, but honestly I feel it’s more of a form of physical validation that helps me not to overthink the distance that happens between me and other people sometimes, especially when true colors are revealed.
So now...need more fuzzy stuffed things when I can afford them. I am adamantly pursuing fantastic emotional, mental, and physical health. I’m not going to give up on myself.
“For unknown reasons, the gust of energy that had swept me up and fizzed me around all summer had dropped me hard, mid-October, into a drizzle of sadness that stretched endlessly in every direction: with a very few exceptions…I hated being around people, couldn’t pay attention to what anyone was saying, couldn’t talk to clients, couldn’t tag my piece, couldn’t ride the subway, all human activity…
I think my favorite part about being a witch is realizing how much power I have when it comes to confronting anxiety, depression, and heartbreak. I can ground myself, do shadow work, speaking to Divine and other spirits ritualistically, and the energy in my crystals help so much. You don’t realize how amazing self-empowerment is until you genuinely believe in your own power.
Yeah I'm not doing too good. This is a mind/body/spirit spread. I feel pretty worthless, depression is haunting me on and off, I'm totally lost career wise, I feel distant and disconnected like I'm almost not allowed to get close to anyone...I have my friends and family, but I fear getting to close will lead everyone to hate me because I always seem to be too much. I'm on the edge of giving up. I'm not going to but...ugh... I'm teetering . Kinda cool the cards know too though... Therapist thinks I'm bipolar II so that's dope :)
Don’t feel ashamed to find comfort in something others find silly. If it matters to you, that’s what counts.
Are there any league players with BPD? Do you ever just truly do your best and fuck UP a lot and then everyone starts yelling at you and everything is your fault and there are "obvious" things you should know and then you start shutting down and stop giving a fuck about contributing to the group? Because what's the point if you're just a big screw up? If someone just sent me a "kys", I'd probably do it and I'd understand why they'd want me to. FUCK. It's even better when your own friend says "these things are so obvious"! Of course they are, because I've been playing a few months and he's been playing for years! I should fucking known what's what by now. I'm gonna go cut myself.
