I really hate the way people talk about ADD/ADHD like it’s made-up and is just hyper little white boys screaming in their elementary school classrooms and shit like that. It’s really, really hard to live with as an adult. You can’t follow or remember schedules well, not matter how hard you try. You can’t organize your things or your to-do lists no matter how many methods you use. But adults are supposed to be organized, punctual, responsible people. They shouldn’t have to write things on their hands and arms because that’s the only way to even maybe remember it. You can’t focus when you need to, and you end up so frustrated with yourself because you know you could do the work if you could just stop getting distracted every five seconds. But adults are supposed to be settled down and calm and focused by now. They shouldn’t be on the verge of tears because it’s taking three hours to read ten pages of a book for class. You can’t stop tapping your fingers, doodling in your notebooks when you need to be taking notes, and making little noises to occupy your brain. But people just tell you to shut up and stop being annoying, and be mature for once. You forget your meds one day and you can just feel how annoying you’re being but you can’t stop and you’re begging yourself inside to just stop but you can’t control it and you’re acting like a child and people get annoyed with you and don’t mince words to tell you that. You scramble to appear like every other person around you who seems to have their life together, but you’re just not an adult in the way that everyone thinks adults should be and it’s so frustrating and draining and disappointing. And then you see people claiming ADD/ADHD isn’t real, and kids who have it are a burden to their parents and teachers, and that you just outgrow it and by college you should be functional in the way that most people or functional. And you just feel broken and less-than and like you’re ten steps behind everyone else, just because you’re wired a little differently. And it’s so hard to be like that but no one takes you seriously. No one gets that it’s an actual developmental disability. No one gets how much you end up hating yourself because you aren’t what you’ve been told someone your age should be. It’s just frustrating and difficult and no one seems to care or understand.
holy fuck...