Sweet 'N Lo

What if when we were born we were each assigned a Wikipedia page like a social security number would that be fucked up or what

do you mean a wikipedia page about us? or do you mean some baby is arbitrarily given the rights and responsibilities to update the paramecium article?

ok I did mean a Wikipedia page about us. But keep talking I like where you’re headed

What's your government-assigned Wikipedia page? (No rerolls. I am in charge of "1929 in Wales" now. Not a great year, some bad floods in November.)

here, have an extremely wholesome tiktok to detox your dash

time travel fics where it’s Luke and/or Leia who goes back to the prequels as opposed to prequels characters going back to the prequels are incredibly funny because instead of emotional tension you could cut with a knife and horrible grief overlaying every action it’s just one (or two) ridiculously powerful people running around with absolutely no idea what’s going besides (a) that the chancellor everybody loves is pure evil and plotting the downfall of the republic and (b) that their dad (with whom they have a VERY complex relationship) is, at best, old enough to be barely out of space college. who needs complex and carefully rendered plans based on a million different remembered factors when you can have one of the space twins seeing Palpatine and trying to kill him with their illegal laser sword on sight

Leia: That’s a Sith Lord.

Mace: That’s the Chancellor.

Leia: He’s a Sith. He’s ready to blow up entirely planets for the fun of it as soon as he’s got the weapon built. I can prove it.

Obi-Wan: And how do you plan on doing that?

Leia: Hm…

[five minutes later, when nobody’s close enough to tackle her]

Leia, her laser sword in one hand and a blaster in the other: HEY SIDIOUS

Yoda: Taken our eyes off her, we should not have.

Leia, cocking her gunsaber: Diplomacy is for people who didn’t blow up my planet

@thefancytomato ask and ye shall receive

au contraire my friend

the order of the red and blue implies that leia kills him after she loses the gun. this has me thinking of the prequel cast having some epic quest to stop her from killing palpatine and when they finally get the gun she just strangles him

I have seen so many strange things that I am not surprised to see a baby chick doing physical and mental exercise. Art by Lucia Heffernan on Etsy.

Nononononono please don’t touch those sir, those are my emotional support spider-men :)

no i am never going to get over this

it’s jeff! infinity comic #8

the funnest part of reading books is telling people the plot like its hot gossip

I would like to wish everyone an uneventful new year

It’s only November and this is already getting notes again, you guys are really manifesting this energy early for the new year

We would like to live in Less Interesting Times please

“someone else could do it better than me” not relevant babe, no one else is gonna do it. You can’t do a mediocre job if you’re the only one doing it

The tags are impeccable.

can someone like let the human body know that we don't die at 40 anymore? that i and my family live in suburban Europe and we are not going to die at like 25 from hunting mammoths and i actually do need my teeth and my spine to last for more than 20 fucking years? can someone let evolution know?? our last patch update was "able to digest lactose" (i didn't get it) and like can we speed it up

Please. Knees that stop functioning at 55 are ridiculous if you're going to live 30 more years. How am I supposed to keep dancing?

every person can feel freddie’s presence in their souls when they sing MAMAAAAAA UUHHHH, I DONT WANNA DIE, I SOMETIMES I WISH I’VE NEVER BEEN BORN AT ALL with all the air in their lungs i’m not joking

it’s fucking crazy to think about the amount of people who have sung bohemian rhapsody? like it’s such a unifying song, by nature of the fact that so many people know it. it holds so many good memories for me and other people. it’s a song you scream in the car with your friends while you drive around your boring hometown, it’s a song you drunkenly sing with your arm around your best friend, or a song you sing along to with strangers when it’s on in public. it’s bittersweet to think about freddie’s legacy carrying on like that through his masterpiece. freddie carries on because he’s a part of so many people’s good memories and bohemian rhapsody is a huge part of that.

Reblog if you have sung bohemian rhapsody with your friends

every time i see this post i’m reminded of the video of 65,000 people singing bohemian rhapsody in near-perfect harmony

like, what other song can make that claim?

Some of the highlights of that video include:

Only days before my state went into lockdown, “Bohemian Rhapsody” came on in the restaurant kitchen I’d just been hired at and, no shit, every single worker in that little diner started singing along. Me (the only queer afaik), the manager, all the other kitchen workers, the dishwasher up front, the two people on the counter, all but two of the men over 30. Just belting out Freddie Mercury at the top of their lungs. And you can bet when “sometimes I wish I’d never been born at all” came around, we every single one of us ramped up the intensity and basically made sure Freddie could hear us in the afterlife.

One of the things that struck me, listening to the video, is that you cannot distinguish the original vocals from the crowd, and sometimes you can barely hear the music. And the POV is on the stage the speakers are playing the song from!

There’s good reason why, nearly fifty years after the height of their career, Queen is still considered one of the best bands of all time ever.

(And how albums left lying about in cars will eventually metamorphose into Best of Queen albums.)

Something else that’s rather incredible about this is, Bohemian Rhapsody is a very difficult song from a technical standpoint. Like–humor me, okay, go flip it on and try to sing the whole thing at the top of your voice without falling off-key, out of breath, or cracking at least once. Then come back.

Okay. You’re back? Welcome back. Unless you’re a trained singer, you probably can’t do it. There are too many long notes, too many key changes, and too many places where–if you’re singing all the parts–you’re just up and down the scale too damned fast. I’m saying this as a trained singer and I can’t do it. I always crack on “magnifico” and “leave me to die,” and I have a pretty decent range, but I know I sound ugly as hell on that final coda.

Okay. Now that we’ve established that, I want to talk a little about singing as a chorus. One of the things a lot of people learned during the pandemic is how hard it is to take twenty people, all in different places, and stitch them together to make a single coherent song with perfect pitch and timing. You’re all practicing on slightly your own tempo, slightly your own key, even if you’re all working from the same base track. (You can see this in a lot of the Wellerman compilations from Tiktok, where someone always says “Soon” a moment before everyone else on “soon may the Wellerman come.”) When you have a chorus comprised of many smaller choruses that are all traveling to be together, this is what dress rehearsal is for–to get all of you onto the same tempo so you’re starting and finishing at exactly the same time. This is a thing that normally only happens after at least several days of practice, and it is an important skill that must be taught. You’re not just born knowing how to do this.

I do not know how many people at that Green Day concert were trained singers. But I do know there is no way in hell all few thousand of them were a single group–they showed up a few at a time, maybe even flying solo for the night. Now go and listen to the video again. Listen to the ends of verses and the pickups. They’re fucking crisp as hell. Everyone is starting and ending at the same place. Not even a single note off. (And yes, you can hear when it’s a single note off, even in a crowd that big. A handful of people would be enough to throw it off.) And while a few in the crowd may be off-key, so many more are on-key that the cumulative effect is of the song being on-key. This isn’t even the band they’re there to see.

They don’t just know this song, this technically-difficult song, this long and complex song by a completely different band. They know it perfectly. They know it down to the fucking note. They know it so well that they did it in perfect synchrony, without a single chance to practice.

Do you know how insane that is?

The part of this video that always gets me, every time I watch it, is the woman screaming, “OH MY GOD!” at the beginning, knowing she’s about to experience a moment of pure history…

do fish ever get to repent? or are they doomed to swim around forever bearing the sins we have tossed to them to consume over the many years?

Can’t help but think a hardworking Yak makes all the dungarees for Lucy and Yak.