I have never once wished for Tolkien to still be alive as much as I do in this moment

This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen

they posted a full version lol it’s mr Stacy’s dad for me

it’s on YouTube too btw! and in the description there’s links to their spotify

Poor Stacy, all her friends are so horny for her parents and there’s nothing she can do about it.

@tesco-finest-aromantics it’s back!!

is this anything

This is what I mean when I say that recreationally lying to kids is an important family tradition.

An old boss of mine was in the Navy, and as always they haze the new guy. Told him to go get a bucket of checkered paint from the quartermaster (I think it was; any mistakes in nomenclature are mine, not his).

The QM, tired of the nonsense, actually made one. He put a grid of cardboard in a bucket and carefully filled it with alternating paints, then removed the grid, leaving a bucket of black and white checkered paint.

Avatar: The Last Airbender 1.05 | The King of Omashu

Wow those moves look like someone who’s childhood best friend was an airbender

…Shit, you’re right. 

That spin he does. That is an airbendery move. 

Literally the exact same move Aang pulls when he gets off his glider (cant find a gif but like… I promise)

This shows attention to detail was unreal.

Even the fall backwards! That looks like the exact kind of thing a fun loving Airbender kid would do while showing off gliders and airbending proficiency.

the best benders in this show tend to be the ones who adapt elements of other bending techniques. Bumi has some airbender-y movements, Zuko and Iroh use some Air and Water movements, even Katara tends to use some earthbender looking moves when bending ice

Meanwhile Toph just took earthbending and cranked it all the way up to 11.

Everyone else: The spice of variety! The four elements make mine stronger! Ballerina time!

Toph:….meTal….bendy bendy

take into account that Toph might not be able to take other bending styles into her own. Because those styles (especially fire and air) require you to lift your feet off the ground and for Toph she would lose her way of connecting to the world like he’s used too.

Toph took earthbending, made it her bitch, and made it adapt to her needs as a disabled person.

oh shit you right.

vague memory of someone else’s analysis, but Toph’s earthbending forms are built on a different discipline than everyone else’s. it’s not so much that she took earthbending and built it up, but that she made up her own.

she did, after all, learn from moles instead of masters

atla heritage post

this is the greatest story ever told

from Ask a Manager

#there are a lot of good reasons not to use child labor#but admittedly one of them is that children aren’t good at it

shes so

update:

Demons and monsters that torture people because they feed on human suffering are so dumb. People are suffering everywhere my guy go literally any place and take a deep whiff.

Monster that feeds on suffering becomes a professional caretaker for people with chronic pain and terminal illnesses. They can't change the fact that these people are suffering, but they help a bit and in the meantime they're fat and happy off that Sweet Sweet ambient pain in the air.

Two towns over there's a demon lord trying to get their cult to abduct people for torture, but they keep getting stopped by heroes and the like, so they're barely scraping by. Meanwhile Belogarth the Registered PCA is chowing down on back pain, medication side effects and looming mortality for eight hours a day and has become the most powerful demon on earth without realizing it.

"But don't their clients feel weird knowing that they're feeding off their suffering?" No they think it's hilarious and they're real shits about it.

Finally a medical professional who believes that they are in pain. Because the fucker is actively chowing down on your agony. Not only am I going to get treated by them I'm going to invite all of my chronically ill friends to come as well.

Turns out if you treat the pain then the humans will bring you more humans who are suffering. It's like a restaurant where the waiter is so impressed by your ability to eat food they're giving you more on the house

They say things like "well, it's a real feast day for Belogarth today!" and "if my meds are held up at customs again I'm gonna put Belogarth in a food coma" and Belogarth is the one feeling weird about it

s’mores shark! another one of my ko-fi stickers for october…get it here!

Men, boys, and eggs of my acquaintance, I cannot stress this enough:

Nobody worth being with will ever judge you based on your deli sandwich choices.

Sincerely, a dude who had to watch like two dozen men pretend to find vegetarian sandwiches unthinkable in order to maintain a sense of masculinity today.

The sando gender spectrum I osmoted this weekend according to a specific type of dude:

1. Roast beef is the most masculine of sandwiches. The only sandwich it is permissible to ask for by name (we did not have roast beef as an option).

2. Ham is an acceptable substitute for roast beef. There appears to be some controversy, however, over the bread options; we only had two, croissant or ancient grains roll (gluten free). Croissant is considered slightly more manly than ancient grains UNLESS you are under 20 in which case "ancient grain" sounds badass.

3. Turkey is okay, obviously not ham but if you don't like ham it's an option as long as you don't show enthusiasm for it. Definitely has to have mayo however. Mustard is a bit much. (Initial field research indicates mayo is the manliest of condiments but we have not introduced barbecue sauce into the study yet.)

4. Chicken salad is woman food. Absolutely not acceptable unless you announce loudly that it's for your wife or that she's making you for your health.

5. Vegetarian wraps require a recoil reaction or a sheepish "oh, no, no, what meats do you have?" protest. We had the veggie wraps off to one side so vegetarians could get to them more easily, and guys would come up to the wrap boxes because there was no crowd/line, then I'd say "that's veggie wraps" and they'd stagger back.

To be clear, most of the people of all genders at the event were totally fine, this was a small and specific set of guys -- mostly older dudes and (unsurprisingly) their young sons or grandsons. Maybe 20-30 people out of the 400+ attendees. But it really was both sad and a little funny to watch them unnecessarily assert their manhood using deli meat to me, a guy in a floral shirt with neon blue hair handing out box lunches at a charity event. My indifference to your masculinity is so vast it has its own international calling code, fellas.

Friends, I have volunteered in the lunch tent once more and I have new scientific findings to share regarding the Sandwich Gender Spectrum.

We still do not serve roast beef, the most toxically manly of all sandwiches, but it turns out that there is a sandwich option almost as masculine, the mention of which will preclude a certain type of dude from even asking for roast beef:

The Italian.

For those unfamiliar, an Italian sandwich in most American sandwich shops is composed of ham, capicola, salami, and sometimes pepperoni, with provolone, the usual sandwich veggies, and a drizzle of Italian dressing.

The hierarchy from ham-downwards remains undisturbed by this revelation currently rocking sandwich discourse, but new data has indicated that the Italian sandwich occupies a special place above ham and technically below roast beef but so acceptable a substitute for roast beef that I only had one guy ask me for it this time around. I would say, "We have ham, Italian, turkey, or veggie," and the Certain Kind Of Man would look skeptically at the ham and then ask for an Italian.

I am now working on my doctoral thesis in Sandwich Gender, where I will be examining whether there is a direct correlation between how masculine a sandwich is and how weirdly homoerotic the name is. I'm going to call it "I'd Like An Italian: Gender And Sexuality Between The Buns."

i find this very interesting

I would like to submit additional data for your groundbreaking study. The deli nearest me has some sandwiches named after four private schools in the area. The boys school: roast beef. The two girls schools: vegetarian (different veggies, color coded to the school colors). The co-ed school, turkey.

I feel....I feel so peer-reviewed. Independent replication of results!

humanising a machinegirl by treating her like a person: based

"humanising" a machinegirl by turning her into a generically pretty waify anime girl: killing you with a hammer until you are dead

this doesn't apply to those GLADOS designs where she's a milfy older woman btw those rip

Okay no I need to talk about the book version of Howl's Moving Castle. I love the movie but the book has such a different vibe and you, yes you, should read it.

Reveal of Welsh postdoc and rugby lad Dr Howell Jenkins (27) perennially one of the funniest things tumblr users can discover in fiction.

It’s unclear whether he finished his PhD or is still a grad student in the process of slithering out of his actual viva.

Here is Calcifer’s “silly saucepan song” that he sings to himself, which Howl sings when drunk (and Sophie doesn’t understand.) It’s a Welsh rugby song.

SOSBAN FACH?????!?

@spaghetti-trek I love that this jumped out and BIT you!!’

Jikuu Tenshou Nazca - 時空転抄ナスカ (1998)

Malcolm in the Middle - 中央のマルコム (2005)

indescribable

you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy

this is what microwaving leftover pizza feels like

stop it i was trying to be gothic