okay but just imagine ellie before she goes to santa barbara. you have your bag packed before she even makes up her mind because that’s your girl and you’d do anything for her?? and you want to help her anyway you can and you’d never even thought to stay behind— except that ellie has other plans and doesn’t want you to go with and firmy tells you that, very meanly, but even as your crying you don’t care because you know you need to support her. that is, until she screams at you to get out— out of the room, the house, out of her life. that she can’t stand you and it breaks you to shreds because here you are desperately in love with her and she’s breaking up with you with no remorse??
fast forward a couple weeks and ellie left and you’ve been staying busy at jackson, waking up early and staying out til past midnight and you’re EXHAUSTED but even then, as you trudge back to your room, her presence is looming and you can’t help but break down again and again until you’ve had enough and go after her.
imagine finally making it to santa barbara and tracking ellie down, following paths of destruction. and when you finally find her, she’s sat alone in the fucking ocean, bruised and bloody and sobbing.
and fuck what she said, and then your off, getting rained on and wet from the ocean and droplets pouring from the sky, but you don’t even feel it because your ellie, the one you’ve loved since she came to jackson all those years ago, is breaking and bleeding out.
“ellie!” you croak as reach her and when she whips around, disoriented as fuck, her eyes widen and she breaks your heart all over again because of how fucking broken she is.
“baby?” she thinks she’s hallucinating up until you crash into her, scooping her up and holding her as her blood spills onto your own bruises.
“im here, baby, im here.” your words hit through her and then she’s sobbing again, stuffing her dirty face into your neck and gripping you so tightly you struggle to breathe.
and that’s how you find yourself sitting there in the water, even as the resort behind you continues to blaze, even as the night deepens, because nothing matters when your girl is breaking and you’re desperately trying to hold her together.
fuck im so :( my baby els went through that all alone