I’m tired
Finn: Kills Stormtroopers to escape enslavement and defend the lives of himself and others
Reylows: Murderer and traitor, can’t relate
Kylo Ren: Slaughters an entire village after capturing and disarming them in a direct callback to the Holocaust
Reylows: Wow... so conflicted... so dramatique... anyway the villagers were ~enemy combatants~ who had the gall to try to defend themselves so they deserved to be summarily executed right? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Killing them was an act of mercy, actually. Everyone is SW is a murderer sweetie, deal with it, and anyway it’s wizards in space nothing is literal it’s a movie FoR kIdS wHy sO SeRIouS
Finn: Takes Rey’s hand trying to save her life
Reylows: Sexual harassment! Rapist! White knight! 😤
Kylo Ren: Assaults Rey, abducts her, tortures her, and manipulates her
Reylows: Bridal carry 😍 death and the maiden ❤️ sooooo kinky 😳 soft boi didn’t even beat her bloody or anything omg the kindness 🙌 mythology archetypes respects her as an equal feminist bae endgame romance uwu anyway strong women(TM) can’t be abused and that’s the tea ☕️
Finn: Tells one (1) lie for his own safety and out of undeserved shame at his abuse & enslavement
Reylows: He’s a lying liar who lied to Rey and any attraction she might have had was based on a lie 😠 misogynist 😡
Kylo Ren: Gives her an account of her abandonment that blatantly contradicts her Force vision, pins the death of Snoke on Rey
Reylows: Anyway Kylo would never lie to Rey because UNLIKE A CERTAIN WHITE KNIGHT he respects her 😎
Finn: Misses Rey and tries to protect her because they are friends
Reylows: Scary stalker! 😱 He needs to overcome his unhealthy obsession with her, because despite our deciding that he is damaged goods and disqualified from a romance with Rey he can magically have a healthy relationship with Literally Anyone Else ☺️ I am v smart
Kylo Ren: Spends an entire movie brushing off Rey’s pain, gaslighting her into thinking she can’t have a legitimate grievance with him because she’s Too Crazy from her abandonment issues, and manipulating her into being tortured and risking her life for his power grab before he negs her and decides to kill her for not complying with his demands
Reylows: Omg... true love... so tragic... so romantic... our ship is canon 😭 suck it haters 😜 Ben is the HERO and PROTAGONIST of this trilogy and he will be REDEEMED and take his RIGHTFUL PLACE as the Skywalker and Rey will realize her destiny of having his Skywalker babies!!!
Rey: Repeatedly takes Finn’s hand, starts healing from lifelong trauma when he came back for her, faces her fear of the Skywalker lightsaber to protect him, lies on top of his lifeless form weeping, spends an entire movie missing him and asking about him, and has a joyous and heartwarming reunion with him
Reylows: Anyway Rey is lonely as hell and nobody understands her, Ben was the first one to show her human touch and kindness, Ben came back for her, and unless she gets with Ben she’ll be aloooone foreverrrr
Rey: Leaves Kylo Ren to get blown up twice in two movies, repeatedly risks her life to be at Finn and the Resistance’s side
Reylows: She thinks about Ben all the time he is the most important person in her life
Reylows: Trust me, I'm an English major