Wake Up, Break Up, Make Up: a finnrey fic for @finnreyfridays​ “What did I do to deserve you?” theme

Finn wakes in a panic. He’s in a sterile white medbay, and for one terrible moment he’s sure that he’s back on Starkiller base, that his escape was nothing but a fever dream conjured by his mind to get him through reconditioning.

He tries to stand, and immediately falls. Warm hands catch him, and a familiar voice murmurs in his ear. It’s okay buddy you’re safe now. I got you. You’re safe.

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“He had always been afraid of this, had always felt, on some level, that he was an imposter, a pretender, and it was only a matter of time until others saw it as well”

OH MY FEELS HOW COULD YOU I want to just hug him forever but fortunately Rey’s on the job. Anyway this is so sweet and fluffy, I don’t know if I would call this an argument but I love it anyway!

Aw thank you for your kind words! My headcannon is that Finn and Rey would both have imposter syndrome at first, in spite of being talented, skilled, and kind, because no one’s ever told them that they are these things. Like. 

Finn worked his ass off in First Order training, caught the eye of multiple high-ranking officials, and was on the fast track to becoming an officer…and no one ever actually *told* him any of these things. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think the highest praise he ever actually heard was that he was “adequate” (from his chap in Before the Awakening.)

Maybe I’m reading myself into this too much, but I was an honors student who worked my ass off at everything, and really only earned a head nod from my parents no matter what I did. That led me to the conclusion that I must not be working very hard, or that I must not be very talented. And I wonder if it’s not like that for Finn.

Things get better, of course, over time. Leia, for example, praises him from the moment they meet. She calls him “incredibly brave” and thanks him for saving Poe’s life. In the Resistance, post-TFA, Finn and Rey would be lauded as heroes, but I think it would take time for them to believe it for themselves.

On the plus side, I’m now imagining them walking together down the aisle of their space wedding war-hero award ceremony, ala Luke and Han in ANH. Chewie greets them from the stage, and Leia gives them both medals, and they start to believe, just a little, that maybe they are heroes after all.

Oh yes, Finn and Rey are both prime candidates for imposter syndrome. I read myself a lot into Finn, too, and for that reason I was apprehensive when he met with Leia--and then she was Best Space Mom and I cried inside.

And now I want the finale of Episode IX to be Finn and Rey's space wedding, actual or symbolic.

So there are two Star Wars novels with extremely similar titles, Bloodlines (2006) by Karen Traviss and Bloodline (2016) by Claudia Gray. Bloodlines by Traviss is indeed EU and no longer canon, while Bloodline by Gray is a canon novel that takes place 6 years before Episode VII. I hope that helps clear things up!

And in a week, we’ll have “Empire’s End” telling the tale of the Battle of Jakku, in an official canon novel - and “Empire’s End” telling the tale of how the degrading clone of Palpatine was shot by Han Solo while trying to possess Baby Anakin Solo and then his spirit was trapped in the body of an old Jedi Knight who lost his limbs and now exists as a giant flying metal ball with a head in an EU no-longer-canon comic book.

I think it’s entirely possible someone at Del Rey is actively trolling us.

I actually almost bought Bloodlines while I was looking for Bloodline (Bloodlines showed up first in the Kobo bookstore), so maybe it's confusion marketing lol.

What was going on with some of these EU novels I'm... kind of happy Disney nuked the whole thing?

@lb-lee replied to your post “lb-lee: The fuck is an REG? Reactionary Exclusionary Gatekeeper,…”

Yeah, I prefer the old-school term, “assholes.”

Cockbiters, shitheels, and douchebags all!

–Mori

Exactly!

The fuck is an REG?

Reactionary Exclusionary Gatekeeper, e.g. TERF, SWERF, aphobe etc.

I think I’m in love with Rachel Bloom.

You’ll have to fight me for her, BITCH

I think she will recognise me as her true soul mate. Or run screaming because my levels of crazy are so high she can’t cope. One of those two things.

Given that she's responsible for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, I don't think there's any level of crazy she'd run screaming from. You win this round, Misandry! *disappears in a dramatic puff of smoke*

Tagged by @floranna2

Last Film: Dreamworks’ Home.  Very good.  Watch it.

Last Song You Listened To: Craig Taubman’s version of Lecha Dodi

Last Show You Watched: Still making my way through The West Wing.

Last Book: Fictional Worlds: Traditions in Narrative and the Age of Visual Culture by L.A. Alexander

Last Food: Grape leaf dolmas and tea.

If you could be anywhere right now: In my room at my parents’ hows that we are still in the process of building, erg.  Or on the lake in a kayak.

Where would you time travel to: I really like the modern conveniences and medical technology of the present

First thing you would do with lottery money: I’d buy a house, pay off my student debt, make a college fund for my future children, buy a car with four wheel drive, and pay off my parents’ house.

Fictional character you would hang out with for a day: Eugenides and Irene from Megan Whalen Turner’s Queen’s Thief series.  I would get to talk fictional politics with very smart people.  Of course I would be the annoying third wheel, but oh well.

Tagging @ameliarating, @unjapanologist, @bluerayofsunshine, @lj-writes, @angryinterrobang, @thedoormowse, @jeekoness, @lonelymountainson, @repost-this-image @aromantic-eight

Last Film: Mad Max: Fury Road for the second time. Worth it.

Last Song You Listened To: Jambinai’s The Connection. I’m not counting the tinkly classical music remakes they’re playing in the hallways here, because I swear to God the music box rendition of Schubert’s Lullaby looped over and over is cruel and unusual punishment.

Last Show You Watched: Almost at the end of Lang Ya Bang (Nirvana in Fire), not really looking forward to finishing. It was excellent until it started leaving a really bad taste in my mouth wrt its treatment of China’s minority ethnicities. It’s a similar complaint to the one I had about the political undertones of the execrable Dragon Blade, and I am gloomily coming to the conclusion that I was right about China’s movie industry being as bad as Hollywood.

Last Book: What to Expect When You’re Expecting by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel. A classic in the field and very informative, though it’s also a heteronormative and cissexist mess.

Last Food: Blueberry dressing salad and pork

If you could be anywhere right now: At home with husband and baby

Where would you time travel to: 1st century B.C. to what is now Huanren Autonomous Area  in Liaoning. I want to turn invisible and walk around for research purposes. There are a few more locations I’d love to scope out, but Huanren is my priority.

First thing you would do with lottery money: Pay off my student loans

Fictional character you would hang out with for a day: Uncle Iroh of Avatar: The Last Airbender

Tagging @loopy777, @lb-lee

The idea that Zuko would have joined Team Avatar a season earlier if only his face had been healed is just gross to me. He needed to be bribed with plastic surgery to do the right thing? It cheapens his character in the worst way, and, as pointed out, undermines his entire character arc by dismissing his desperate need for his father’s love and acceptance. Also, I have to give some serious side-eye to the idea that Zuko would have turned good if he no longer had his facial scarring. Like, no.

Reading this made me think of Harvey Dent in Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns. He is supposedly ‘cured’ of his Two-Face personality and as the final step has his face fully restored with plastic surgery. However, it turns out that this actually undid all the previous work- that making him fully Harvey on the outside also made him fully Two-Face on the inside.

So now I kind of want to write a fanfic targeted at Zuko fans where Katara heals his face and he becomes Ozai Jr in response.

And they even played up the Two-Face-ish angle on Zuko (filming the two sides of his face etc.), so it sort of fits, actually. XD

Oh Two-Face.  I still have happy mundane fantasies of a Batman AU where both Dent and Wayne get over their respective issues with the help and support of each other and revolutionize the Gotham psych system.

(Also Dent as an out multi district attorney.  What, I can have shameless escapist fantasies.)

That is a very happy fantasy, I always felt bad for Dent. And after getting to know you guys, I couldn’t help but think the system could work things out with better communication and cooperation. (After getting treatment to make sure they function safely and doing time for their crimes, of course.)  I mean, why is it always presented in media as a tragedy and/or a moral fall for someone to be multiple? Why is it seldom, if ever, the other way around?

I guess the whole franchise is a well-established clusterfuck when it comes to mental illness and disability, but it’s hardly an outlier in that regard either. I’m glad you’re pushing back on that with a multi superhero, among other characters.

The idea that Zuko would have joined Team Avatar a season earlier if only his face had been healed is just gross to me. He needed to be bribed with plastic surgery to do the right thing? It cheapens his character in the worst way, and, as pointed out, undermines his entire character arc by dismissing his desperate need for his father’s love and acceptance. Also, I have to give some serious side-eye to the idea that Zuko would have turned good if he no longer had his facial scarring. Like, no.

Reading this made me think of Harvey Dent in Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns. He is supposedly ‘cured’ of his Two-Face personality and as the final step has his face fully restored with plastic surgery. However, it turns out that this actually undid all the previous work- that making him fully Harvey on the outside also made him fully Two-Face on the inside.

So now I kind of want to write a fanfic targeted at Zuko fans where Katara heals his face and he becomes Ozai Jr in response.

And they even played up the Two-Face-ish angle on Zuko (filming the two sides of his face etc.), so it sort of fits, actually. XD

NOOOOOOO

Oh god, it’s midnight and ALL the fucking fire alarms went off.  Not the apartment’s, the BUILDING’s.  The kind that let out ear-piercing constant noise, never pausing, and apparently only the landlord can turn off.

The fire department just arrived.  As far as I know, there’s no fire.

And no, it’s a sure thing, we can’t turn off the alarms.  They’re hardwired.  The noise shall continue until the landlord gets here.

I hate everything.

Ugh, sorry to hear. :/ I hope things went back to normal and you could go back to sleep.

Well, that was the worst seven minutes of my life.  Thank god the alarms didn’t go for longer than that–when you’re hard of hearing and STILL find a noise hell on earth, you KNOW it’s bad.

Okay, so there wasn’t a fire, but the alarms actually had a valid reason for going off.

See, our heat just shat the bed and died.  Not the building’s.  Specifically us and roomie’s.  It had a steam leak, and that’s what set off the fire alarms–which is good, since god only knows what kind of damage it could’ve done otherwise, going until someone noticed.  So as of last night, we officially have NO HEAT.  It will get replaced with a new heating system, presumably one that HASN’T seen Queen Victoria, on Monday.

All I can say is, thank you, old ass heating system, for choosing to die AFTER winter.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  Also, us and roomie are kinda excited about our new heating system, since we’d been kinda badgering the management about it for a while.

So, mystery solved!

Well, I guess that was a real... wake-up call to change the system! (laugh track)

NOOOOOOO

Oh god, it’s midnight and ALL the fucking fire alarms went off.  Not the apartment’s, the BUILDING’s.  The kind that let out ear-piercing constant noise, never pausing, and apparently only the landlord can turn off.

The fire department just arrived.  As far as I know, there’s no fire.

And no, it’s a sure thing, we can’t turn off the alarms.  They’re hardwired.  The noise shall continue until the landlord gets here.

I hate everything.

Ugh, sorry to hear. :/ I hope things went back to normal and you could go back to sleep.

Tagged by @poplitealqueen

Name 6 movies you can watch anytime and tag 6 people.

1) The Prince of Egypt

2) Lilo and Stitch

3) My Cousin Vinny

4) My Big Fat Greek Wedding

5) Any of the OT Star Wars movies (but only the original versions.  My brain does not handle change well, and I really don’t like listening to new versions of songs either.)

6) the Avatar: the Last Airbender Boiling Rock two parter

I tag: @lj-writes, @ameliarating, @unjapanologist, @lonelymountainson, @aromantic-eight, @floranna2

Tagged by @attackfishscales

1) Thelma and Louise

2) Romeo+Juliet (1996)

3) Star Trek: Deep Space 9 Season 7

4) Les Miserables (2012)

5) The Princess and the Frog

6) Mad Max: Fury Road

@lb-lee @haruspex-fulguriator @echogivesnoanswer @loopy777  @notnowtobey @tashiazan

Tagged by @lj-writes 1) Any Lord of the Rings film 2) Any Harry Potter film 3) Brother Bear 4) Little Miss Sunshine 5) Spirited Away 6) Star Wars: The Force Awakens @jasminosamigos @ererinati @livinglifeslowly @toujouhidetora @mikitree @lemusesick

Oh I love Brother Bear! I had the DVD, soundtrack, wrote fanfic (which a Japanese fan drew some nice fanart for, though I lost the link to that site), even made a video. It would have made my list if I’d seen it in the past few years.

I’ve seen it like a hundred times now 😍 I absolutely love the soundtrack! What fanfic did you write if I may ask?

Yeah, I was sad when my CD stopped working. :( It had several Chinese-language tracks at the end, too.

The fic is called Finding His Way, and it’s about Denahi--my favorite character!--dealing with the events of the movie and resolving some thorny ethical issues that I had been discussing with other fans online.

DAMMIT CAT

Oh god, I think I know why my skin is turning into Itch Hell.  I held Genius Cat in my lap for like half an hour and had a massive flare.

I’M ALLERGIC TO THAT LITTLE FUCKER.

And oh god, he’s shedding like crazy.  And I don’t actually get to have my allergy test until August.

D:

It is going to be a LONG four months.

many sympathies as a fellow cat allergy sufferer. :( Is this your first time living with a cat or is it just this particular creature that's given you trouble?

Let’s try this Trans Day of Visibility thing again.

I said earlier my misgivings about selfies.  Trans people and multiples are often defined by the bodies we inhabit.  And when you get multi in on the business, what exactly it MEANS to be trans can get very, very complicated.

Like, look at our roster.  Which of us would you presume trans?

If you come down to self-identification, only half of us are trans: Sneak, Mori, Biff, and me (Rogan).

If you come down to how we’re treated socially… well.  I guess that would make all of us trans.  Our vessel’s been modified enough that we all have to take it into account.  Miranda has put the question to us before: if our body’s been modified extensively enough that she deals with the social consequences of it, does that make her trans?  If not, then what is she?  What about Gigi, who rejected gender for years and then changed her mind?

And then you have Mac and Falcon, who ID cis, even though they inhabit a body mostly read as female.  But they had cis lives elsewhere before coming here.  What does that make them? If they call themselves trans, are they appropriating my experiences (which is what Mac worries about)?  Or are they cowards by not taking the label (which Mac ALSO worries about)?

What does it mean to be trans in this state?  What does it mean to be VISIBLE, when our self-images are invisible outside of art?  SHOULD we even be seen?

You might notice I’m only asking questions, not answering them.  It’s because I have no answers.

–Rogan

It's something I've wondered about y'all myself. I do refer to you as "my trans friend," thinking mostly in terms of Ro in relation to the AFAB vessel, but I also wondered if the proper term should be genderfluid or multigender. I follow your cue on this one, though, since in the end the answer no matter how indeterminate is yours to give.

kadachit --> kshaar

The world feels right again.

So does anybody want to hear about my novel?  Because I think that one of the reasons I don’t write much for it is fanfic is so much more social.  And if I have an audience I haven’t accounted for, that would be nice.  (Let me hold you captive to listen about fish people with anger issues).

You know I’m interested!

I have already inflicted so much backstory on you already!  Be careful or I will start with the bad poetry.  Yshre have odd poetry traditions, and sometimes I write Yshre poetry because there are always further depths of nerdity that I can sink to.

LOL that is some awesome nerdity. XD I’m pretty sure I can take it!