The irony of Nesta haters is honestly astounding. They ramble on about how nasty Nesta is and how she's evil and abusive and then in the same breath they say some of the most horrid things I've ever heard about her and her fans. And they make it very clear they want her to suffer, even more than she already has.

Hating Nesta says a lot more about you as a person than it does about the character

This 1000000000Xs over!

I loved Nesta from the start, I connected with her instantly. But I always think that if after ACOSF someone still HATES Nesta, cannot forgive her or thinks she has not "redeemed" herself, then that is someone I probably would never be able to be friends with in real life. Because I would be terrified to ever be less than perfect, show my pain, be vulnerable or not handle the trauma in my life in the way that they deemed is appropriate.

is nesta archeron truly a bitch, or are you all inherently misogynystic and expect women to be friendly and laugh freely ( or whatever bullshit sjm wrote at all times), and the minute a woman doesn't conform to your rigid standards of what makes a woman worthy of respect — which in itself is insane — you simply must demonize her and call her every derogatory name ever

The fact that she is described as "difficult." Again, because she's blunt and honest and doesn't suffer fools gladly.

The audacity of people hoping Rhysand and Feyre will become High King and Queen. The person who enforces segregation among his own people, and the person who destroyed a whole country just because she wanted to get back at her ex. The audacity.

100%

All right, let’s talk about Feyre’s pregnancy reveal, Rhysand’s anger, and Cassian’s punishment. This is more of an angry rant, if it doesn’t make sense, you know why. 

Before some weirdo comes for my throat for this, and though I’m not obligated to share anything about my life, I have two sisters. I’ve been both Feyre and Nesta. I know what it’s like to be poor, even if not to the extent of ‘I have to hunt to feed my family’ poor which is still a lot more than what SJM knows or understands.

This is by far one of the best assessments I've read on this.

Just have to add this:

This is because Feyre cares more about Cassian's feelings than Nestas. She wants Cassian to get his HEA, whether that aligns with Nesta's wants or needs comes secondary to her.

And I just have to mention that this entire dynamic is completely was basically set up by Feyre. She chose to victimize herself to the Inner Circle from the very beginning, she chose to make Nesta (not their parents who are really the ones to blame here) the villain in her story, she blames Nesta for all of her misery growing up while codeling her father, and she makes sure that Rhys and the whole Inner Circle know it.

I don't know if Nessian is meant to be endgame, but I do find Cassian's lack of "love" language in ACOSF to be concerning.

I know some people don't think we need an "I love you" from Cassian to Nesta because he resisted the Crown's control to kill himself instead of harming her, but I don't see why we couldn't have gotten both. Nesta has saved Cassian's life on multiple occasions, and has been willing to die for him and with him, but we still got an "I love you" from her to him. No reason we couldn't have gotten the same from him.

Nesta goes on and on about loving Cassian, but yet, not once, do we ever get him thinking the word "love" in relation to Nesta. The closest he comes to it is thinking about the "declaration" he still needed to make. He talks about loving Rhys, Feyre, and Mor, but never Nesta. Nesta's POV talks about the love shining from his face or his eyes, but his POV never talks about that, and considering Nesta has no self-worth, thinks she's no better than the dirt beneath her boots, and doesn't think she deserves to be loved...I really don't trust her opinion when it comes to seeing "love" shining from Cassian's eyes.

Nesta actually told Cassian why she loves him, but we never get him telling her what he loves about her. I think the nicest thing he thought about her all book was that he was in awe of her, what she'd done, how far she'd come. But yet he only seems to be in awe of her saving Feysand and Nyx's lives and what she did during the Blood Rite. I think Nesta has been doing things worthy of love and admiration since book one, but Cassian seems to only think she deserves admiration for what she did at the end of ACOSF. He seems to respect and admire Feyre and Mor far more than he does his own mate.

It doesn't help matters that Cassian started the book off by agreeing with Mor that Nesta is a wicked monster who would thrive in the CoN...but yet he still wanted to sleep with her. I trust that Cassian loves sex with Nesta, and that he loves the concept of having a mate, but I'm not convinced that he loves Nesta herself. Especially not after HOFAS. That is not how you treat someone - or allow someone to be treated - that you love, respect, or admire. That's not how Cassian would have treated Feyre or Mor or allowed anyone else to treat them the way he let Rhysand treat Nesta.

I wouldn't be surprised if we find out next book that Cassian actually doesn't love Nesta, but rather he just loves the mating bond. Either Nessian's not endgame and Nesta rejects the bond because she realizes she deserves better than Cassian and that he doesn't actually love her or Cassian gets a redemption arc where he realizes that he needs to put Nesta before everyone else. She needs to be his person. He needs to have her back, stick up for her, defend and protect her. He needs to put her feelings before all others. He needs to be fully devoted and loyal to her and her alone.

A couple of thoughts because this really resonated with me.....

I really dislike this idea that it is unreasonable to want Cassian to say "I love you" to Nesta. Regardless of whether or not you believe that Cassian has shown Nesta he loves her, she still deserves to hear him say it. This is the same as when people argue that Cassian doesn't defend Nesta because she can defend herself. Just because she can doesn't mean that Cassian shouldn't still do it. Nesta deserves a complete, unwavering love and these excuses seem to be another way to punish her and have her receive less, as if she does not deserve better.

I would also argue that Cassian suffers from the same self sacrificing affliction that the rest of the Inner Circle suffers from and that he would have done his best to turn the knife on himself rather than kill anyone. I don't really feel that him doing it for Nesta was that extraordinary, I wasn't really impressed by his behaviour.

There is is a particular line during the hike that always sticks with me when I think about this, Cassian says something along the lines of him not wanting Nesta to lose something he LIKES so much. Something he LIKES about her, not something he LOVES. It's odd that we are supposed to be under the impression that Cassian loves Nesta but he cannot even say the word love out loud to her.

I am constantly frustrated by SJM's treatment of Nesta, because she continues to deny her basic reciprocation of feelings from her mate. All of this feels like a very intentional repeated punishment for Nesta.