@little-brisk-archive / little-brisk-archive.tumblr.com
yep okay we have once again reached the threshold of very much too insane to be On Here. i do not like this because i do like all of you but definitely need to Go Away for some time. if you have another means of contact for me please avail yourself of it and if you do not have one but would like one let me know. will continue to check dms & asks. peace <3
unsolicited advice is not welcome here ever. i think it is bad to do in general and especially in response to expressions of suffering. i think everyone should do everything they can to wipe unsolicited advice completely and entirely out of their social behavior but i can’t control that. what i can control is my own behavior which shall remain forever apparently centered around asking you all repeatedly and explicitly to never, ever, ever give me unsolicited advice on any subject no matter what. not ever. just don’t do it! easy.
so: as part of an attempt to rethink how i use tumblr and what it’s for, i have just done a massive purge of my followers, soft-blocking more than three quarters of them. my selection principle was very broad: if i didn’t recognize a username as one that’s active in my notifs (or used to be), i softblocked it. i also softblocked almost everyone who followed me exclusively for fandom reasons but with whom i’ve never had an actual conversation.
like every aspect of using this website, this was a clumsy and inefficient process; i am sure i made some errors. and none of it was personal. if anyone i’ve softblocked sees this & wants to re-follow, know that i am happy for you to do so.
likewise, if you’ve been wanting to unfollow me, now would be a good time. from mutuals a goodbye note would be welcome but isn’t necessary; block me if you like or simply ask me to unfollow and i will. go and be free.
my goal with this is just to find out if reducing this blog’s reach and scope, disengaging to the degree possible from tumblr at large, will make it feel a little cozier to be here. from now i want to use this space just to save pretty things i like and do my little journaling and communicate mainly with people i’ve known for a long time, more like a livejournal of old.
to that end i’ve also hidden my blog from search & restricted it to dash for now. which is frankly annoying as hell! but since tumblr still won’t separate the ‘let my friends send me posts’ and ‘let me view my own tags’ functions from the ‘let strangers find anything i write with any search term in it anywhere’ function, we’re stuck with it for now. but please. know in your heart that i do want you to send me the thing. i really do.
okay. now i’m going to continue to not be here for a while. peace be upon y’all.
people sometimes ask me (usually defensively, usually in response to a quite gentle and straightforward request to delete a reblog of a personal post of mine) why if i don’t want my personal posts reblogged i don’t tag every single one of them not to be reblogged, and there are several reasons, including that such tags draw the attention of trolls and that there will always be a non-zero population of regular guys who just can’t be acted upon by the word ‘no’, but the main reason is this: i do a lot of very intimate journaling here, and if you want the right to read it you need to be able to demonstrate to me that you can respect exactly two (2) personal boundaries both of which are plainly stated in a post linked in all caps at the very top of my blog. you want access to my intimate thoughts? lovely, you’re welcome here, i am after all posting them in public on purpose. but you then need to show me that you are person who can treat me like a person. that’s it. this seems to me like a fair deal. it also then in turn becomes a very useful litmus test: anyone who can’t get on board with this basic principle is someone i do not want having access to my intimate thoughts. a tidy little machine for managing interpersonal incompatibilities here on topics in human social behaviors dot hellsite.
all right kids, i think i gotta get out of here for a bit, clear my head & do some thinking and writing without the social media anxiety klaxons constantly going in the background. i wish you all the very sweetest and easiest start to the year, and if nothing else, i’ve queued up quite a lot of cat posts. see you in about a week. <3
about: hi! call me soph (she/her). i’m a lesbian recovering academic in her late thirties who loves star trek and cats and women and queers, for starters. i mainly reblog pictures of same, and also do some fairly intimately personal journaling, which i invite you to read and interact with in accordance with the guidelines below.
when i say i am a ‘lesbian’, part of what i mean is that i am a queer feminist, and part of what that means is that i believe in trans futures and genderqueer radicalisms, kink as a project of sexual liberation, and justice and dignity for all sex workers. these are firmly held positions and generally not open to negotiation, but if you are unsure about any of these things i dearly hope you will ask me about them.
i love getting asks, and anon is always on. i have never had occasion to regret this. please don’t be the one to change that.
here is a short version:
1. do not reblog my personal posts without permission. 2. do not give me unsolicited advice. 3. whether i follow you or not, it’s always cool to dm me or use the ask box and i always have anon on. if i don’t reply it’s not personal.
now the long version:
i write here frequently and explicitly about my experiences of depression, agoraphobia, grief, trauma, and other emotionally difficult personal topics. these posts are generally tagged #comprehensive crazy tag along with a small handful of others. i do not generally tag them more specifically than that, in part because i can’t do so reliably. if you do not wish to see this content the thing to do is block the whole tag.
otherwise i do my best to flag content relating to the conventional range of major triggers and also make sure that anything with potentially offensive, upsetting, or harmful content is clearly marked and easy to avoid. crazyblogging notwithstanding, i’m here to have a good time and want you to have a good time too.
if you need me to tag something specific, please let me know (anon is just fine) and i will do my best to honor the request.
please do not reblog my personal posts without explicit permission. a ‘personal’ post is any original post that is in any way about me or my life or experiences, no matter how abstract or generalizable. i do not specifically tag these not to be reblogged, because the point is to rely on the ability of my followers to respect a basic boundary. when in doubt, please feel free to ask.
please do not give me advice unless i have explicitly asked for it. the best way to respond to my crazyblogging posts is to click the heart and move on. it’s okay to comment in a way that is about solidarity or recognition, but please err on the side of caution. if you do something that makes me uncomfortable, i will gently let you know. (subsequent reminders will get progressively less gentle.)
* * *
these boundaries are important to me and i will defend them fairly ferociously, but please – please! – if you are unsure about something, always feel free to ask.
anon is always on, and i will never take exception to an honest question. <3
right! so. i have made a (fanfic) writing sideblog, @thekeytoallmythologies, where i am hoping to both liberate and contain some of the thoughts about writing generally and natterings about works in progress specifically that i often feel too inhibited to post here or which once posted feel messy or excessive or whatever.
you are welcome to follow if you are: a mutual, a longtime follower, or a follower who has interacted with original posts on this blog multiple times in the last few months (that is, someone i will recognize as a friendly).
my hope is that by maintaining a separate blog with a smaller, self-selected, (lightly) vetted audience, i will be able to create a space that is both safe and generative for me and hopefully also a pleasant gathering place. i have really enjoyed the way some of the discussions on my writing posts here have gone, and would love to have more of that in a more out of the way setting.
this may last five minutes, or it may keep going until the heat death of tumblr comes for us all. we’ll find out. however it works out, i’ll be glad of your company.
shorter: please do not mistake this blog for a syllabus
guys, i am not responsible for problematic content in the media i enthuse about on this blog. when i say hyperfixations are not endorsements, i am not kidding: i am not making recommendations here, and if you choose to consume the said media you are taking your own risks with its content. i am a big believer in content advisories, and if you are curious about something i am into you can always ask me if i think there might be anything in it that warrants one, but it is not incumbent upon anyone to issue caveats before expressing interest in or enthusiasm for something, and it is no one’s responsibility to account for every aspect of any object of their interest on the chance that someone in their audience might go check it out on their own time. okay? okay.
about: hi! call me soph (she/her). i’m a lesbian recovering academic in her late thirties who loves star trek and cats and women and queers, for starters. i mainly reblog pictures of same, and also do some fairly intimately personal journaling, which you i invite you to read and interact with in accordance with the guidelines below.
when i say i am a ‘lesbian’, part of what i mean is that i am a queer feminist, and part of what that means is that i believe in trans futures and genderqueer radicalisms, kink as a project of sexual liberation, and justice and dignity for all sex workers. these are firmly held positions and generally not open to negotiation, but if you are unsure about any of these things i dearly hope you will ask me about them.
i love getting asks, and anon is always on. i have never had occasion to regret this. please don’t be the one to change that.
here is a short version:
1. do not reblog my personal posts without permission. a ‘personal’ post is any original post that is in any way about me or my life or experiences, no matter how abstract or generalizable. when in doubt, feel free to ask, on the understanding that i might say no. 2. do not, do not, do NOT give me unsolicited advice. 3. whether i follow you or not, it’s always cool to dm me or use the ask box and i always have anon on. if i don’t reply it’s not personal. 4. if i know you irl, you need to tell me you are reading this blog.
now the long version:
i write here frequently and explicitly about mental illness. these posts are generally tagged #comprehensive crazy tag. they may include things like suicidal ideation and explicit description of intrusive thoughts about self-harm. i do not tag things like “suicide” and whatnot separately, because i can’t do so reliably.
otherwise i do my best to tag for the conventional range of major triggers and also make sure that anything with potentially offensive or harmful content is clearly flagged.
if you need me to tag something specific, please let me know (anon is just fine) and i will do my best to honor the request.
please do not reblog my personal posts without explicit permission. feel free to ask! i do not at all mind being asked.
the best way to respond to my crazyblogging posts is to click the heart and move on. do not, do not, do not give me advice. it’s okay to comment in a way that is about solidarity or recognition or to offer something comforting (like a picture of a cat or a story about goslings) or whathaveyou. if you do something that makes me uncomfortable, i will gently let you know. (subsequent reminders will get progressively less gentle.) but do not give me unsolicited advice, no matter how good you think that advice is. if i want advice, i will ask for it explicitly.
if i know you in real life, i need you to tell me that you are reading this. if it feels like that might be a little awkward, well, it might indeed! but we can live with awkward. awkward is better than you having access to intimate pieces of my experience of myself and my world without my knowledge or permission. i promise we can live with awkward.
aaand i think that’s everything. these boundaries are important to me and i will defend them fairly ferociously, but please – please! – if you are unsure about something always feel free to ask rather than slink away in uncertainty. i mean, i will also defend your right to slink. but i don’t want you to feel you have to! so anon is always on, and i will never take exception to an honest question. <3
ok time for a refresher on the rules:
1. please ask before reblogging any of my personal posts 2. no unsolicited advice, ever
that’s it! that’s literally it. thanks lads <3
may i reblog the 'seeing so much stuff lately implying or outright stating that failure to recover is a result of not working hard enough to recover.' post?
would rather you didn’t, thanks -- but really appreciate you asking! and keep asking in future if there’s stuff you want to reblog, it’s not necessarily gonna be no every time <3
also i have a new rule and it’s that youse guys aren’t allowed to insult your own intelligence in messages to me or comments on my blog ever again. no more anons that start ‘i’m not smart enough for’ or ‘this isn’t very smart of me’ or ‘someone smarter than me could’ and so on. i will not stand for it! we are all as smart as we need to be to get onto this doomed website so now we can move on and just. talk to each other
this space is no longer working for me in a number of ways and i am finding it very frustrating because it has been such an essential space for me for so long. one, i do not seem to be able to balance the functions -- or rather, the audiences -- of fandom blog and crazykeeping diary anymore, and two, i am increasingly alone in doing this kind of writing here. the people i used to do this kind of writing with or alongside have either left, recovered, or simply no longer write in this way in this space. the absence of the element of community brings a number of detrimental effects, including the amplification of the feelings of loneliness and alienation inherent in the crazy content itself.
yet it remains essential for me to be able to write about this in some way that is not exclusively private. one, there is some kind of safety valve phenomenon in the experience of allowing these things to be seen and observing that their being seen causes no catastrophe; there is a feeling of safety in knowing that a group of people can look at the knives inside my brain, see that they are there, acknowledge them, and move on, and the world does not collapse in on itself. two, it allows me to witness the experiences as real; the acknowledgement of others assures me that it is real. there is also the fact that people do tell me they find my writing here helpful to them; if there is some service i am providing in my attempts to articulate things, i find value in that. and lastly, or not lastly but the last thing i will say for now, it produces this archive that i can review, which for some reason works differently for me than the private archive of a private diary would work. perhaps it is the historical dimension of being witnessed. that word reminds me of how i explained crazyblogging tumblr to my former therapist, years ago: that it is a community of witness. i need that very badly.
so i am not sure how to proceed. i no longer feel safe doing the kind of writing here that i want and need to do here, but i am not sure how else to go about it. a sideblog seems the obvious solution, but i have always resisted this for many reasons. one is that i am overprone to shame and do not want to encourage shame mechanisms with the suggestion that one half of the content of this blog must be shielded from the audience of the other half (this goes in both directions). part of the joy of this nonfunctional website for me is its all-or-nothing aspect; either everything is seen or nothing is. i find that helpful. another reason is executive function related -- two whole blogs is far too great a degree of organization to ask me to maintain, frankly. this is related to the chaos notebook concept; the only way i can function is to keep everything in one place.
perhaps i will just carry on as i have been til the heat death of tumblr finally forces me out, but i would like to find a better solution.
In the interest of politeness and compassion and respecting boundaries, a few of your recent asks make me want to ask some questions about what messages are welcome, if that's alright? I was wondering, if people want to discuss a fandom thing should we put warning tags in front of the ask for you? and are there any fandoms you no longer want to field talk on, or any issues (besides, what I think are obvious) that shouldn't be brought into your ask even if they're in whatever media?
thanks for asking, anon! i appreciate your taking so much care. since you have 1. bothered to ask and 2. framed this so carefully, i feel like you, specifically, don’t actually need to be asking!
but for the general public: the only thing i really never ever want is unsolicited advice. beyond that, any message that’s presented in basic good faith is fine with me; i’m happy to be asked about anything, or informed of anything, as long as it’s done respectfully. challenging topics are fine. warnings are less important to me than careful handling of content; i feel reasonably confident most of the time that everyone around here has a handle on what that means, more or less. and i think — again, assuming good faith — in general i’d rather people risk difficulty than shy away from it; missteps happen and we can work them out when they do.
i answer probably somewhere between 50-70% of the asks i get, almost always on the basis of bandwidth, so if you send me something and i don’t answer it that’ll be why. if something is actively a problem, i will say so outright.
i will get waspish about bad-faith messages (splainyness, antagonism of various kinds, condescension, etc, and — say it with me now — unsolicited advice), but i receive very, very few of those.
i hope this is adequately clarifying. i REALLY want this blog to be a place where people can always ask questions when they’re uncertain.
so i’ve got a fair few new followers, and since all of you came here for star trek content (or in one instance, astonishingly, spooks content? i mean i’m always about nicola walker but also buddy i hope you like star trek), there’s something i want to say:
first, if you did not read the rules, i’d like to recommend you do that now. (elderfollowers will find it has been updated and streamlined a bit, but the gist hasn’t changed.)
this internet weblog here is for me an essential place to put my experience of what i will call by way of shorthand mental illness, on a spectrum from more or less innocuous daily brainblips to severe episodes. this kind of writing is necessary for me, and while i do try always to be careful of others it is also necessary for me to be able to do this writing with a minimum of second-guessing. this means that i do not tag separately for particular symptoms (e.g., suicidal ideation), do not as a rule use readmores or content warnings, and so on. the organizing tag is #comprehensive crazy tag, and if you think such content might be dangerous for you, the thing to do is block the whole tag. if there is something specific you need tagged, please by all means feel free to ask, but i may not be able to honor the request. incompatible access needs are a bitch, what can i say.
i want to ask the following of you regarding how you interact with such posts: please do not ever, ever respond to them with advice or it-gets-better platitudes. expressions of solidarity or shared experience are usually welcome. as we get to know each other i think it will be clearer what does and doesn’t work for me. the best thing to do to express support is click the lil heart there and move on. never, ever, ever reblog a crazyblogging post.
okay? okay.
like this post to let me know that you’ve read it, and let me know if anything seems unclear. please always feel free to ask me questions about anything of this sort (or anything at all); an honest question asked in good faith is almost always an affirmation rather than a violation of best boundaries practices imo.
