strawberry bitch🍓

The duality of "If you even imply that being aro or ace condemns someone to a sad and lonely life I will fucking fight you"

and

"being aro and ace is the most isolating thing I will ever experience"

i think the tags are important

[ID: tumblr tags that read

“#The thing is that when other people imply that being aro and ace must condemn someone to a sad and lonely life #they are seeing romanticism and sexuality as the root of the problem. #They think that not having that ‘special someone' in your life means it's not worth living. #they're showing pity for something they think you're missing out on #When I talk about feelings of isolation caused by being aroace, I'm talking about the way our (western) society is structured #about how people drift off into their bubble #about how the older you get the less and less time everyone has in their day #and how your role as a friend automatically becomes lesser compared to other relationships. #I'm thinking about how certain emotional and physical connections are suddenly reserved for romantic relationships. #About the conversations I can't really participate in and I sit there awkwardly knowing they find it weird that I'm not opening up. #I'm thinking about all the times I get hit out of nowhere with a throwaway line #reminding me that people think there's something wrong with your soul if you don't love like they do. #That they think a life like yours isn't worth living. That's the kind of isolation I'm thinking about. #Not me missing out on having a romantic partner. #okay”

\End ID]

i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues

genuinely i do think aromanticism gives me shrimp emotions. i don't experience love in a way that is fundamentally the same as most people but i am effortlessly recognizing and experiencing the secret third thing and all the hundreds of secret things after that

"Friends dont look at friends that way" COWARD. I look at my friends with awe in my eyes, my chest is filled with love, im glowing because i get to be near my friends. I look at my friends and i would give them my everything. SO SKILL ISSUE, look at your friends with all the love that you have

One of the most insidious messages we receive as aromantic people is the idea there is nothing to be gained from a platonic relationship that one can’t get from a romantic relationship. The media we consume every day tells us that what we have to offer would be somehow better if it were given in a romantic, rather than platonic context. It tells us things like emotional support, laughter, care, and love are more valuable within the confines of a romantic relationship.

This can leave an aromantic person feeling as if they have nothing unique or valuable to offer, and the things they could provide to the people they care about would be better had from a romantic partner. That they themselves are superfluous and unnecessary.

These are lies. You are beautiful, and valuable, and you have more to offer than you will ever know. You may never see it yourself, but every person who chooses to have you in their life sees something in you that is worthwhile. There is something they receive from you they don’t get from anyone else, and it’s likely something different for every person who knows you.

You are special. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to feel like you’re enough, because you are.

You are.

genuinely i do think aromanticism gives me shrimp emotions. i don't experience love in a way that is fundamentally the same as most people but i am effortlessly recognizing and experiencing the secret third thing and all the hundreds of secret things after that

it really does bother me how no one can seem to answer the question “what even is romantic attraction, really.” like some people are like “it’s who you wanna kiss and cuddle <3” and I’m like ok well kisses and cuddles can be either sexual or platonic depending on context. “It’s who you feel passion/desire/arousal for” well that just sounds like sexual attraction which you can have without even knowing somebody so I fail to see how that’s romantic. “It’s who you want to go on dates with” I go on dates with friends all the time plus “date” is a social construct anyway there’s really no innate difference between a date and hanging out. “it’s who you have deep feelings for” great news for you that can be literally any type of relationship. my friend told me she defined it as “who you wanna give roses to” and I’m like do u hear urself??? like the more I talk to people the more I’m convinced romance and romantic attraction is an elaborate socially fabricated illusion that has no real defining characteristics. and like there’s nothing Wrong with it being a constuct but why people are so attached to defending the supremacy of it is something I cannot for the life of me figure out

OP you just put into words what I’ve been trying to sort out for the last 10 years

You’ve heard of hopeless romantic? I’m a hopeless platonic

For anyone wondering, this was the exact feeling behind this post

[image description: tumblr tags that read "#fellas you ever feel such a deep and abiding affection and love for your friends #you may as well be a teenager with a hopeless crush #bc that's me all the time #<- fucking this." /end ID]

i need friends that want to go to the library with me & want to go to the aquarium with me & want to play board games with me & want to sit in silence with me & want to go grocery shopping with me & want to kiss me & want to live forever with me

I know that the term "loveless" can cause a knee jerk reaction with lots of people. I know the term can be tied to hurt feelings, painful accusations, silent worries and a strong urge to defend yourself.

But I need people, especially aros who aren't familiar with the concept, to understand that the reclaiming of that word is born from the very same hurt. Only instead of saying "I'm not loveless, I can still love" which often goes hand in hand with a silent "I am still worthy because I can love", loveless aromanticism asks "why am I, as an aromantic person, constantly having to defend my worth as a human being?" and "why can't we instead have a conversation about how respect for another person should not be tied to whether they feel one emotion?" and "why do you choose to reduce the vast complexity of lived human experience to one feeling?" and "what if I don't feel love? What if I don't understand love? What if I've been hurt by love? What if the concept of love makes me deeply uncomfortable, am I still allowed to exist in peace?"

The point is, I see many aros react in a hurt and defensive manner when confronted with lovelessness, and I see many loveless aros react to that in a similar hurt and defensive manner. and it's just all the same hurt.

"you cant get married platonically, marriage is about LOVE and COMMITMENT" yeah love for the bit commitment to the bit

funniest response you can give to someone telling you they love you: "skill issue"

context for this post before the self loathing comments start btw

does anyone want to be best friends that also live together and go on adventures together but like mundane adventures like ikea and target and also wants to lay our heads on each others shoulders when sleepy but also have separate bedrooms but also enjoy spending most of our free time together……. just me? ok

never have i ever seen a better description of my sexuality

bummed that i am a bit of a freak. also glad i am a bit of a freak. does this make sense

[ID: a comic depicting two people inside a bus which has large clear windows on all sides. the person on the left, labeled "im weird," looks miserable as they stare out the window on their side, which only shows the craggy gray rock. the person on the right, labeled "im weird," smiles happily and watches the sun rise over picturesque mountains. /end ID]