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#t: fic – @lilyevane on Tumblr

@lilyevane / lilyevane.tumblr.com

— liyah: she/her, uk. fly away home. ♥
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When does it come to you? At any point during the day. You’re laughing at him in a blaring common room, walls swathed in red. There is light fighting for opulence behind stained-glass windows and the carpet smells distinctly ashy from the hearth. Everything is comforting; you know here, you belong here, here is home. You are completely reconciled to this homeliness when the realization punches you in the gut. And it is all consuming, shocking your body, numbing your limbs, freezing you, and yet you are not cold, because it is not unfamiliar, it is real, as though you have known it all your life, as if loving him is as easy as breathing. So you smile benignly at the joke he just made at your expense and ignore the way the light is fighting in front of your eyes, stinging your irises, coating his jaw. You smile as though nothing has happened, as though nothing has changed. Instead you are quelling something in your gut, something that is fiercely bright and rushing light to every corner of your body in torrid currents. And when it is stately to leave, at a point when it could be considered normal to walk away from him, you do, marching towards the staircase with your books in your arms. And no-one notices you leaving with any suspicion. Except him. Because he does not want you to go.

When it comes to him it is something wildly unruly, and the only thing unfamiliar about it is how unwieldy it is, and the reason he swerves away from it unlike everything else, every smile he can coax from a crowd, from you, is because he has supressed it for so long, unconsciously, because he thinks he does not deserve you, because he has been conscious of you and how wonderful you are, and he is resigned to knowing that to be blessed in your presence is something that he will not always have. And so when it hits him, he is clutching cold enamel beneath his hands, a sensation akin to nights spent sprawled on cold tiles, throwing up fluorescent, scorching alcohol, burning his throat on the way up. This is what it is to him, not at all dissimilar to that, thrumming, fueled with the premonition of impending doom, but it shocks him, quakes him, and he is shaking and crying and clutching the edge of the sink, and it is knocking his pelvic bone until he turns to look in the mirror, his face flushed and splotchy with the crying, the sensation as recalcitrant and too natural to be dissolved, as he is, and it rocks him to his core. He loves her, he loves her, he loves her.

And she loves him too.

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Pepper Up, Peppermint

Sixth year Lily is home, sick, at Christmas. Can a visit from her friends cheer her up? A jily secret santa gift for @ihopeyoucanseemesmiling who requested fluffy Christmas jily. Merry Christmas!
word count: 3400

The jolly chime of the doorbell cut through Lily’s medicine-induced fog, rousing her. Even after the last echoes died away, she made no move from her nest on the sofa. She was closest to the door, sure, but she was also closest to death.

Exempt by default—let the healthy people handle it.

Except no one came, and the doorbell rang again. Lily winced. She’d never before fully appreciated the horror that was her parents’ novelty chime.

“Lily,” another horror—her sister—called from the back of the house, “get off your arse and answer that!”

“I’m sick,” Lily croaked. Or tried to, instead breaking off into a violent cough.

When the door rang again, Lily wished death upon her tormenter.

“I’m baking!”

(More like barking.)

The doorbell rang again—what kind of savage?

“Lily, bloody get that!”

“I’m ill!”

“If you were that ill, you’d be in bed rather than infecting us all.”

Lily propped up on her elbows, the better to yell. “I’m sick on Christmas, and you’re worried about germs?”

Christmas Eve, technically speaking, but wasn’t it close enough?

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december jily challenge

JILY CHALLENGE (@jilychallenge):

@gxnevras vs @lamelylimes

          wintery tropes + hot chocolate by the fire

*

The Gryffindor common room was alight with happiness that drifted in the air like snow. Students lounged on the couches, sat against windowpanes, all talking, laughing, and whispering to one another. The fire cast dancing shadows on the walls. Mugs of hot chocolate warmed the fingers of tired hands. A lilting tune ran under it all, riddled with cymbals and trumpets.

“Didn’t know you were a fan of musicals, Marlene,” said James. They were spread out in front of the fire, the six of them: James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Dorcas, and Marlene. The next day many of them would leave for home, but for now they were all together.

“Just West Side Story,” replied Marlene. “Most musicals aren’t worth my time.”

“What’s so different about this one?” Sirius asked.

Marlene shrugged. “Something about it.”

Lily sat on the carpeted floor, her back resting against the side of the couch. She had her legs straightened out in front of her so her feet could catch the heat of the fire. James loved to tease her about her toes, which were always, inevitably cold. She felt a familiar nostalgia in the air; this was their last December at Hogwarts. Next year, they would be spending the holidays out there in the war-torn world. She wanted to cherish the time she had left here, in this common room, where she felt nothing short of safe, surrounded by her friends, whose laughter reminded her of the crackling fire, the days they have spent together, and the happy childhood that had seemed to run away from her before she could catch up. She was seventeen years old, but she didn’t feel like an adult, not even close.

James nudged her shoulder, stealing her attention from the fire, which had begun to burn her eyes she had been staring at it for so long. James had grown up a lot in the past few years, but he still gave of an air of mischief, one that he would probably never outgrow. Once long ago it would have annoyed her a great deal, but now she found it endearing.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he said softly. The rest of their friends were laughing over something that Lily had completely missed in her reverie.

“Keep your penny,” she said.

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pray in me like your chapels

gift for: @arrogantbullying-toerag
a/n: i really hope you like it april xx this got me out of a writing slump and is kind of astray from my usual style so hopefully it’s good?? have a wonderful christmas love <33
summary: ‘staying was infinitesimal, but it felt like the world’
rating: m
word count: 3120

-

It was the last day of the semester and everything was dragging until they roared out of the classroom, alight, triumphant, flooding the halls with screams and shouts.

She pressed into the hallway, satchel on her shoulder, when her eyes caught his frame in the corridor. As though a magnetic pulse had been planted in her sternum, it always swung to him. She could have spotted him within five seconds of walking into a room. It was a habit. She would always want to know where he was.

At that moment, someone brushed passed her, catching her off balance by nicking her with their elbow. She was not paying attention, she was drowning in the aura pulsing from James gesticulating wildly with his hands, and then she was stumbling towards him in the crowded corridor and her books were falling out of her arms.

She barely saw him swarm towards her, rough, roguish hands catching her around the middle. All of a sudden he was unerringly close to her. He was smiling, bent, eyes brimming with snark. It was an oddity to see the head that wore the crown bowed to her.

‘Watch where you’re going, Evans,’ he quipped, winking at her as she stooped to pick up A History of Magic. His fingertips were trailing at her waist. She wanted it to be on purpose.

She dropped the textbook on his foot.

‘Watch where you’re going, Potter,’ she told him, tilting her head in defiance, grinning. Her gums felt like they were bleeding.

He laughed after her, the sound haunting. She ran to the dorm so she could pretend her thundering heart had nothing to do with him. It had everything to do with him.

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making spirits bright

today’s fic: jily celebrity au
(or basically a sequel to the tinder au i wrote back in may)
lol remember when i had about 30 anons clamouring for a sequel to this and i was like ‘um no idk what it would even be about’? well ta-da. here’s a sequel. about nothing. idk man it’s just 2k of fluff.
wc: 2201
ao3 | see more ficmas here

“Did you know that we’ve apparently broken up?”

James barely looks up from where he’s sat on the floor, leaning against her legs as he goes head on against Sirius and they in a FIFA match. She finds it absolutely hysterical that he’s losing so badly when he himself is a world class football player.

“Charming,” he says distractedly, “Is that the Sun again?”

Lily flicks his ear. “No, the Sun said we eloped in Paris a few months ago and we’re awaiting the arrival of our firstborn with bated breath. Honestly James, keep up.”

“My bad,” he says dryly, “By the way, we’re naming our first child Elvendork.”

“I thought we agreed on Bathsheba?”

“Yeah, but Elvendork is unisex.”

“Good point.”

He throws down his controller in a huff when the game ends with him losing spectacularly. Remus comes in first place, and he snickers when he sees his ridiculous pout. Meanwhile Lily just pets him, accustomed to her boyfriend, the drama queen.

It’s only later, when he’s spread out on the couch, his head on her lap while the rest of them switch over to another game, does he ask, “Sorry, who was saying that we broke up?”

Lily glances down at him, still scrolling through her phone. “Oh, the Mirror. Marlene likes to tweet me articles that we’re mentioned in. Apparently the fact that I didn’t go to the last fundraiser with you but went out for milk on Saturday without makeup means that our relationship is on the rocks.”

“How dare you not wear makeup while doing menial everyday things. They’re right, this is the beginning of a downward spiral, Evans.”

He’s still in her lap, glasses askew and hair a complete mess, and she leans down to swipe a quick peck on the lips.

“Yeah, I’m a real embarrassment, you should break up with me.”

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Musician AU

gift for: @demiwizardtribute13
Hmm I don’t know if this is okay. But I hope you like it, and merry Christmas! -your secret santa xx
rating: general
word count: 1 434

‘Thank you!’ James Potter yelled into his microphone. ‘Thank you very much!’

His smile was stretched so wide that it hurt. The roaring of the crowd was so loud he could feel it all the way through his body, the lights so bright James knew he’d be seeing imprints of them when he closed his eyes.

But he didn’t close his eyes, not even to blink.

He wanted to soak it in… the feeling of the concert. The way Sirius twirled his drumsticks around in his hands, the way Peter’s hair was sticking to his forehead with sweat, the hesitant smile growing on Remus’ face. The way the crowd felt so in sync with him, the way they yelled and screamed when James flashed them his signature grin.

It was the last stop on their tour, and James would miss the concerts. The fans.

They were the best part of being a musician.

But now, now James would go on and record new music with the band, with his new agent. The last one…

James’ smile almost dropped.

The last agent had turned out to be stealing parts of their songs and giving them to Severus Snape, a solo artist that the Marauders had hated ever since they’d made their first album.

But now wasn’t the time to reflect on the past. Now was the time to relax and soak in the last moments of the tour.

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So This Is Love

Requested on tumblr: James and Lily are so dating and it’s disgusting to everyone around them maybe just maybe James and Lily fight and in the middle of the GREAT HALL James says something “Lily Potter you come back here!” And then everyone is like ? And also !

Levins18 requested this and it turned into a 32 page story so that I could properly fit in everything that was asked for so specifically. Also I brought back my character Anna from The Quidditch Commentator because I missed her.

“You’re going to have to do something about that Prongs.”

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your hand holding mine

merry christmas @bisexualbvffy. thank you for being the love of my life

You move into the house next door to him when you’re five. The delivery men are unpacking the truck when Petunia unlatches Marmalade’s cage and she bolts under the fence into the next door neighbour’s yard. You run after her, jumping the fence and landing in a heap in front of a boy with wild eyes and a shock of dark hair. He looks like he just stuck his hand in an electric socket, peering at you through a pair of rectangular glasses. ‘Who are you?’ he asks you, and you jump to your feet in front of him, sticking out your and saying, ‘Hi, I’m Lily, and I’m looking for my cat. Have you seen her?’ He’s looking at you like he can’t quite believe you’re real when you hear a yowl, and Marmalade scrambles out of the hydrangea bush, rag-taggling with a bounding labrador retriever puppy. ‘Damnit,’ you swear, because you heard it on TV and thought it sounded cool, blowing hair out of your face. The boy is still looking at you weirdly, and you scrunch up your nose, like you do when you’re concentrating, and throw yourself on top of Marmalade, bundling the squirming cat up into your arms. The boy grabs the dog, who starts licking his face enthusiastically. ‘I’m James,’ he says, looking up at you, ‘and you’ve got a twig in your hair.’ You reach up and come away with bits of bracken and sycamore leaves. ’Thanks for your help,’ you tell him, turning and vaulting over the fence with Marmalade in your arms, leaving James behind.

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James and Lily

When they were 11

He made loud fart noises in the corridor to amuse his friends. 

She rolled her eyes and kept walking.

When they were 12

He would have water fights in the common room.

She scowled as she dodged the enchanted water balloon.

He would shout out answers over her in class.

She ignored him and got top marks anyway.

When they were 13

He and his friends filled the great hall with jelly as a joke.

She shouted when a leftover piece fell on her head the next day.

He charmed balls of paper to fly at her head.

She hexed him.

When they were 14

He batted his eyelashes and got an extension on his homework.

She scolded him for it after.

He set loose the blast ended skrewts.

She spent her lunch helping round them all up.

He started to call her stupid nicknames.

She shot back with stupider insults.

When they were 15

He charmed off a boys hair one day.

She helped the boy figure out how to grow it back.

He harassed her in the corridor with annoying proposals.

She thought she hated him.

He got caught by the Greenhouses smoking with his friend.

She and Remus monitored his detention. She asked Remus why he was so annoying, he said he was more than the arrogant show he put on.

He pulled down Severus’ trousers in front of a crowd of people.

She defended someone who wasn’t a good person.

He followed her around trying to apologise.

She thought maybe Remus was right.

When they were 16

He made his stationary fly around the classroom to amuse people.

She grinned and told him to stop.

He flooded the fourth floor.

She cursed him as she helped get rid of the water.

He gave a bar of chocolate to a crying first year.

She thought maybe he wasn’t all that bad.

He carried his friend’s books when he was feeling ill.

She thought he was actually quite nice.

He helped her with difficult homework.

She smiled and said thank you.

He made conversation as they walked to class together.

She was shocked when she realised she was friends with him.

When they were 17

He wrote to her over the holidays.

She replied.

He threw a big celebration party in the common room.

She had a fun time with her friends dancing and drinking until dawn.

He loved the way she rolled her eyes at him.

She loved the way the combed his fingers through his hair unconsciously.

He went home for the summer realising that maybe she might feel the same way.

She realised she had fallen for someone she thought she hated.

He came back to school as Head Boy.

She came back as Head Girl.

He grew up and took the responsibility seriously.

She felt her chest swell as she watched him grow.

He asked if she wanted to go out. That maybe after all this time…

She realised that the answer had always been yes.

When they were 18

He loved the way her hair fell around her shoulders, the way she smiled when he touched her and they way she would laugh as she kissed him.

She loved the way he slung his arm over her whenever he stood next to her, they way he would grin when he made eye contact and the way the played with her hair as she dozed next to him.

He made the suits of armour tell jokes when someone walked past.

She giggled and realised some things never change.

He started to prepare for a world that was getting darker every day.

She started to prepare for a world that scared her a little.

He ended the school year with a bang, literally. He and his friends threw a farewell party.

She spent the night laughing and crying, promising everyone that it wasn’t really goodbye.

He left school, bought a flat, and began to train to fight a war he was too young to fight in.

She left school, moved into his flat, and began to train for a war she was determined to win.

He loved her and he told her every day.

She loved him and would never let him forget it.

When they were 19

He would come home dirty and bruised.

She would return scratched and messy.

He would heal her wounds and hold her close.

She would mend his cuts and kiss him gently.

He would fight like there was no tomorrow.

She would attack like it was the only defence.

He was frightened.

She was worried.

He found comfort in her.

She found solace in him.

He realised he couldn’t live without her.

She realised he kept her going.

He said ‘marry me’.

She said ‘only if you marry me first’.

He married a girl he had loved since he was 11.

She married a boy she had never hated.

When they were 20

He still had a war to fight in.

She still had to bring justice to her world.

He worried when he heard her throwing up one morning.

She worried when he joked she might be pregnant.

He knew there would be day when he would make an unfunny joke.

She realised today was that day.

He had to shift his world to make room for a baby.

She had to prepare for a world with more people to love in it.

He was as excited as could be.

She was always smiling despite it all.

He wanted to name the baby Harold.

She like Barry.

He decided to compromise.

She agreed on Harry.

He couldn’t stop shaking when they baby was born.

She couldn’t stop cradling her son.

He and his friends stayed up four nights in a row with the baby, just to play with him.

She had her friends over for a weekend, just to coo over him.

He was told his friends couldn’t come any more. But it kept his child safe.

She was heartbroken people could come to visit, but it kept her family whole.

When they were 21

He enjoyed the quiet days with his wife.

She enjoyed the long mornings with her husband.

He enjoyed practising magic with (sometimes on) his son.

She enjoyed pretending not to notice, or outdoing him on a particularly pretty spell.

He was scared, but he loved her and Harry.

She was terrified, but he and Harry mattered more.

He decided to celebrate 1 year old in style.

She baked a truly magnificent cake.

He decorated the house.

She decorated her son. 

He smiled as a small fawn blew out his candles.

She laughed as her husband transformed to match his son.

He loved her more than ever.

She loved him more than she could say.

He carved pumpkins.

She hung fairy lights.

He made puffs of smoke come out the end of his wand.

She heard the door open.

He threw his child in to her arms.

She ran up the stairs.

He looked for his discarded wand.

She barricaded the door.

He dropped like a marionette who’s string were cut.

She refused to step aside.

He was dead.

She fell just like her husband.

They loved Harry.

They died for their son.

but he lived.

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Merry Marauder Christmas (1/1)

Summary:  The last night before Christmas break in their seventh year at Hogwarts.

“All right, open it, open it,” Lily said. She smiled and wrapped her arms around James’s arm and leaned into his side.
           Remus smiled down at the small wrapped package in his lap and his nimble fingers began to work at the paper. He pulled out a brown box and Sirius couldn’t let the opportunity slide.
           “Oh, she got you a box. Nice job, Lil, wish I thought of that,” Sirius said.
           Lily rolled her eyes and kicked out her leg to nudge Sirius with her foot.
           Remus lifted the lid off the box and the others in the room saw his face light up at what he saw inside. Lily bit her lip in excitement as she saw her friend’s reaction to his gift.
           “Lily,” Remus said. He couldn’t find any other words.
           “What is it?” Peter asked. He craned his short neck up to try and catch a glimpse of the inside contents.
           Remus pulled out the book for the rest of the group to see. The three other boys seemed to deflate at the sight of a book. That was nothing exciting to any of them.
           “It’s the one I wanted,” Remus said. He looked down at the book again and turned it over in his hands. “Frankenstein.”
           The three boys perked up at the name of the infamous horror character.
           “Frankenstein is a book?” James asked.
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jiilys

you know you got (all my attention)

merry christmas @poppypomfrey ellie. you mean the world to me. 

“Are you watching it?”

“Merlin, Evans I’m fucking watching it.”

“It doesn’t look like you’re watching it.”

“What would me watching it look like, exactly?”

“Not like that.”

“Wow. Witty, that was.”

“Thanks, I truly crave your appro- shit!”

“Fuck! Evans, why weren’t you watching it?!”

are you kidding me-“

  “You know James I find you being the only one in to not laugh at my plant pun in Herbology to be rather… herb-ful.”

“Get away from me.”

“Peter, is James screwing Melanie Griffiths?”

“Who?”

“God, this is dumb. Forget it. I’m being an idiot.”

“Lily! Lily, wait! Lily!”

“James, you’re meant to be on the pitch.”

  “The team will wait for me.”

“Arrogant.”

“Yes, but McRyan’s got a busted shoulder and Havish can’t aim in the rain, or at all, so they’ll wait for me. I just wanted to give you-“

“The whistle’s going.”

“Would you listen? You need to take this.”

“… you came all the way over here to give me an umbrella?”

“You don’t have one and it’s going to rain.”

“I have a wand.”

“Yeah, but you’re shit at weather charms.”

“I am n-“

“POTTER, STOP HOLDING UP THE GAME AND GET OVER HERE.”

“How did you even get up here? You could fall and die at any minute, how can you see anything? Oh god, I refuse to die by falling off the astronomy tower roof. I won’t let it happen… I’m wearing pyjamas, I cannot let my body be discovered in pyjamas. Here- help me.”

“Jeez Lily, your hands are freezing. You don’t have to come up here.”

“Yes I do. I can’t let you sit up here and brood alone.”

“I’m not brooding.”

“You utter liar.”

“I’m no-“

“Shut up, look how many stars there are. Jesus… I can’t believe I’ve never sat up here before. You can see the whole sky. Did you know all this is already dead light? I was reading about it, starlight is thousands of years old by the time it reaches earth, can you believe that? We’re looking at light that doesn’t even exist anymore. It’s like a time machi- why are you looking at me like that?”

“Asshole.”

“Ow! Potter, there’s no need to get violent.”

“You cheated.”

“And you threw a pencil at me, so we’re even.”

“Can I borrow this?”

“You know Evans, normally people ask to borrow things before they start using them.”

“Normality is an illusion.”

“Christ. Keep the quill.”

“What if we lose the match?”

“You won’t.”

“What if we do. What if we lose, and it’s because I miss goals or drop the Quaffle or do some other stupid thing and we lose the cup.”

“Then… you lose. Life goes on. The only way for you not to lose is to get goals, and you know how to get goals James. So fucking go get them.”

“So you know when I said ‘do you want food’”

“mhmm”

“And you said ‘no I’m fine’”

“Yeah.”

“Why is it that now you’re eating my burger. It’s my burger, Lily. I ordered it specially so I could eat it. I paid for it.”

“You didn’t pay for it. You took the money off Remus after he lost that bet about Sirius asking McGonagall to dance at the ministry ball thing. So technically, Remus paid for it.”

“If you’re going to contradict me I’m not going to let you eat my burger.”

“You can pry this burger from my cold, dead hands Potter.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“James- c’mon, God you weigh a lot.”

“That’s… that’s mean, Lil. I’m- I’m appended.”

“You mean offended. James, help me out here, lean against my shoulder- like that. Did someone spike your drink? You only had two beers.”

“Lils- Evans… we won- ‘un the cup.”

“You did.”

“Lil- Lily…. I have a sec- secret. Big one. I gotta- gotta tell you.”

“Oh yeah?“

“I made… make all those- those goals, for you. All of them…  yours. For you.”

“Evans, lovely to see you! You look like shit.”

“A plant exploded in Herbology. Where were you.”

“I skipped.”

“Wh- oh my God, it was fucking you, wasn’t it? you fucking- look at me! You did this!”

“You can’t prove an- ow! Fuck! did you just throw your wand at me?”

“I hate you. I’m going to roll around on your bed and get this shit on it. Good day.”

“Marlene”

“Hmf”

“Mar”

“Lily It’s two in the fucking morning.”

“Do you think- does James still like me?”

“’Fucks sake.”

“What?”

“You’re literally a moron. I don’t have time to answer obvious questions.”

“This is the best thing anyone’s ever gotten me. Evans, you’re the best person in the world. Seriously.”

“Oh… ah, cheers.”

“I heard you fell over-“

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“To bad, James. This is the best fucking day of my life, you tripped over your own fucking glasses because they fell off your face-“

  “Lily if you’re only going to laugh I’m going to have you thrown out.”

“Thrown out! Please, Pomfrey loves me. she would never. You’re stuck with me.”

“Damn.”

“Okay, okay okay. Here’s the thing-“

“Wha- how did you get in here?”

“Shut up, this is important. I think-“

“The fuck are you doing in my dorm at five in the mor-“

“I think you like me”

“Well I don’t right now! Class doesn’t start for-“

“No, like- fuck, listen to me, I think you like me… in a different way.”

“What?”

“In what way do you like me?”

“What the hel-“

“Oh my God, you’re fucking idiot, I’m standing here in my pyjamas trying to tell you I like you and here you fucking are, not understanding anything I’m saying like some sort of rotten avocado with glasses-

  “Hold on- you like me? Like… that?”

“Obviously! Why else would I be here! Of course I fucking like you, Jesus you make everything-“

“Oi! It’s the fucking break of dawn! Make out somewhere else!”

“Sirius, was throwing the pillow really necessary.”

“Piss off Evans, go confess your undying love somewhere else.”

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gxldentrio
James is determined to stay away from short, freckled redheads. Lily, having had enough drama for a lifetime, is equally resolved to avoid dark-haired troublemakers. But he rarely does what he ought, and she is too stubborn for her own good. It should be an interesting year.
The ‘read more’ links will send you to the full story.

Chapter Eight or Bird Set Free

It was already the end of November, and the holidays were only a couple of weeks away. Thus it was prime exam season, and so the students were facing tests and quizzes on a roughly daily basis – not to mention, of course, the numerous practical demonstrations in nearly every subject.

In fact, a few of the Gryffindor sixth years were spending – although Sirius would argue they were wasting ­– their Saturday in the library, revising for the upcoming Defence Against the Dark Arts exam.

“Which two spells,” Remus began, reading from a piece of parchment, “if mixed, cause the victim to sprout little tentacles?”

Read More (AO3 // FFN)

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gxldentrio

Ephemeral

AO3 // FFN
for @ravnclaws

e·phem·er·al  (ĭ-fĕm′ər-əl)

adj.

1. Lasting for a markedly brief time: “There remain some truths too ephemeral to be captured in the cold pages of a court transcript” (Irving R. Kaufman).

2. Having a short lifespan or a short annual period of aboveground growth. Used especially of plants.

n.

Something, especially a plant, that is ephemeral.

Dear, I love you.

Right now, while we’re in bed, and your head is on my chest, I love you. I love you like this. Under my thumb. Next to my heart. I love you.

I do not know how it started. Or when, or why.

I know I love you. I love you when it’s cold, and you’ve just stepped out of the shower, and so your hair is still messy, because you haven’t bothered to brush through it yet. When you run across the corridor to grab your robe from the upstairs bedroom.

Outside, in the garden, with mud under your fingernails, because you’ve just finished potting some peonies. You’ve always been good with flowers. And with people. I’ve never been much of a people person myself, but I like to think that I’m good with you.

I love you like this.

Making pancakes, and reading with the windows open. The house gets cold because of it, but I’ve grown accustomed.

I didn’t think we’d have this much time. It used to feel like the walls were crumbling around us. In my nightmares, I couldn’t shelter you from the danger. I still can’t, but you’ve never needed much sheltering anyway. But I love you, and we got lucky.

Dear, I love you.

It’s two in the morning and I can’t sleep. Your incessant rustling under the sheets used to drive me mad, but now I can’t sleep without it. Your toothbrush lies next to mine in our bathroom. I think I accidentally used your shampoo yesterday, but it’s fine. My hair smells of lavender now, and I carry you with me everywhere I go.

I love you. Darling, I’ve loved you.

I was eleven when I met you. I’ve been in love ever since.

Sipping tea during breakfast, and putting too much butter on your toast. It’s ridiculous. You’re ridiculous. But I love you, and so what does that say of me?

I’m ridiculous without you, dear.

Where have you gone?

Dear, I love you.

We’re not soulmates. At least, I don’t think we are. I don’t like the idea of something pulling me to you. I love you because of who you are. Not because Fate, or the Gods, or whoever says so. I love you.

Inside the hospital room, at the funeral, under the ground, I love you.

I will love you.

In this lifetime, I will love you. And the next. And the next.

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gxldentrio

in another life (we could have had it all)

because this month wasn’t depressing enough yet. the lawyer/judge au none of you asked for
FFN | AO3

They meet in law school. Criminal law, senior year, to be precise. Professor McGonagall drones on and on about mens rea and strict liability and because it is an eight a.m. class on a Monday, most students are half-asleep. Potter’s not, of course. He loves it.

“And the purpose of diminished capacity is… Potter?”

"To negate mens rea.” McGonagall nods, and Lily swears she can see the corners of her mouth twitching.

The months go by. Eventually, because it is only natural, the two of them fall in love, and they fall hard. It’s the kind of love that lasts for better or for worse, forever. Lily’s never believed in soulmates, (Potter does, of course,) but, at the risk of sounding cliché, it feels like the familiar tug in her heartstrings was meant to be.

They could have had it all, but in the end, they both choose their careers.

It’s a mess, and it hurts more than anything, even more than the time Lily was fifteen and her sister went missing, only to wind up in the hospital a few days later. Potter doesn’t feel like a sibling, he feels like a part of her. It feels like her heart is being torn in two and he’s taking one half with him.

Neither of them wants it, but it’s how it has to be.

(Four years later)

It’s nine in the morning when she steps foot inside the courtroom. She walks to the bench, sits down, and fumbles with a loose thread in her robes. People start coming in, defense attorneys and witnesses and the jury and him.

She still sees him from time to time, out of the corner of her eye after a long case, in the back of her mind when she’s trying to fall asleep. He’s turned into a brilliant lawyer, like she always knew he would. She stayed in law school, studying to become a judge.

When the clock ticks half-past-nine, he runs his hand through his hair - she’s glad to see that hasn’t changed - and stands up. Today isn’t about James Potter and law school reunions; it’s about Tom Riddle and his organ trafficking business. The british government has been after Riddle for years now, and Lily prays Potter doesn’t muck it up. Riddle’s guilty, she’s sure of it, and yet she can’t do anything if the prosecutor doesn’t do a good enough job.

“Good morning. My name is James Potter and I am the prosecutor in this case.” His voice is deep - deeper than she remembers - and his face is set in a serious expression, one she hasn’t seen him wearing since his father’s passing.

The trial passes in a blur, and even though his closing statement ended with “and in conclusion, may I say that black robe is very slimming on you, Your Honour,” she can’t help but feel somewhat foolish.

She shouldn’t have been so on the edge about his performance. He nailed it, of course. And now, Riddle’s in jail. Fucking finally.

When she reaches her office, he’s beat her to it, undoubtedly waiting for her. Something is pulling the two of them together, time after time, and she doesn’t know what it is. It can’t possibly be fate, (because there is no way fate can be this cruel.)

“Potter.”

“Evans,” he nods, fully aware of the fact that they can only drop the pretence once she shuts the door. And so, she does. “Long time no see, eh?”

“I know. It’s been the most peaceful month I’ve had ever since I met you.” He clutches at his chest, and she smirks.

“Ouch.”

“You did wonderful back there. I particularly liked your closing statement.”

“Well, you know me.” She does, even though he’s different now. Grown up. Life isn’t his playground anymore, it’s serious. His posture is straighter, his eyes are sharper. But not everything has changed. His smile is still the same, and the dimple on his left cheek is still there. They are both still head over heels in love with each other, but Lily knew that was never going to change.

Her gaze drops to the floor, and she asks, “do you remember-”

“Of course I do,” he finishes. “Criminal law. Your hair was in a braid.”

She steps closer and their foreheads touch.

“I’m sorry, James,” she whispers.

“It’s not your fault.”

“If it got out, Riddle’s lawyer could easily convince the jury of favouritism. We’ve been after this for so long-”

“I know.”

There’s silence, but it feels like their hearts are in deep conversation with each other. Beat, beat, beat.

“I love you, you know,” she says, because it’s true, because it is the only thing she knows to be true.

"I’ll always love you.”

His lips touch her temple, and he leaves, under the promise of someday, somehow.

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and so am i, just typically

james potter/lily evans, circa late 1979.
♡♡♡ happy (early) christmas to @poppypomfrey ♡♡♡

o5 and i say, ‘do we wanna dance?' 

By the time Lily’s reapplied her makeup, recaptured the few strands of hair that had escaped her plait, and rejoined the party, Sirius is messing about with Marlene just by the front door, one of his hands shoved up the back of her skirt.  

Lily wouldn’t notice, if not for James glaring in their direction over the top of his glass of wine. 

She asks him, slowly, “Problem?”

James shakes his head, wraps an arm around her shoulders, still looking at Sirius and Marlene, like, “Didn’t know that was going on, is all. Did you?" 

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jiilys

leave the bottle by the door

James Potter to Lily Evans: wanna come over

Lily Evans: have you bought milk yet

James Potter: wanna come over in ten minutes

Lily Evans: why ten minutes

James Potter: i have to do an unrelated errand

Sirius Black to James Potter: i can’t believe u bought fucking milk for evans

Sirius Black: you refused to buy me maccas yesterday bc u were ‘poor’ and here u r buying 6£ milk for a GIRL

Sirius Black: YESTERDAY IN CLASS I HAD TO LEND U PAPER AND PENS BC U SAID U WERE SO POOR THAT U COULDN’T BUY THEM AND NOW THIS BE T R AY AL

Sirius Black: I KNOW YOURE SEEING THESE

Lily Evans to James Potter: why is sirius telling me that im the reason u never shout him shit anymore

James Potter: bc hes a fucking twit

Lily Evans: i shouldve guessed

Remus Lupin to STUDENT LOANS MORE LIKE STUDENT GROANS: guys there is a small hole in the roof from last night? Does anyone know who it was??

Lily Evans: potter

James Potter: nark

James Potter: its ur damn fault anyway if u hadnt gotten on my shoulders

Lily Evans: u were the one that gave me the BROOM

James Potter: I SAW A SPIDER ALRIGHT LAY OFF EVANS

Peter Pettigrew to Lily Evans: Lily can I borrow ur notes on the effect of pressure on the brain??? I have a test tmrw

Lily Evans: … pete im a pre med major I don’t have notes on that

Peter Pettigrew: oh okay

Peter Pettigrew: unrelated question: do u know any good wikipedia articles abt the effect of pressure on the brain??????

Lily Evans to James Potter: i can’t be a doctor im stupid and strange and i never know anything I need to i cant be a doctor

James Potter: yes you can

Lily Evans: youre lying

James Potter: i don’t lie

Lily Evans: you lie all the time

James Potter: not to you

James Potter: never to you  

Sirius Black created the group james wants to bang evans

Sirius Black added Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and James Potter

James Potter: fuck off sirius

Sirius Black renamed the group james wants to bang evans x100

James Potter left the group

Lily Evans to James Potter: u left ur scarf at mine

Lily Evans: its super warm

Lily Evans: damn this is nice where did u get it

Lily Evans: omg I just put it on my neighbours cat she looks cute af

Lily Evans: sent a photo

Lily Evans: oh no

Lily Evans: ok don’t be mad

Lily Evans: but the neighbours caught me and took their cat back still wearing ur scarf

Lily Evans: what im saying is u will never see ur scarf again

Remus Lupin to peter owes me ten pounds: Sirius stop using the group chat names for your own personal needs

Sirius Black renamed the group peter owes me ten pounds and lupin can suck my ass

James Potter to Remus Lupin: oh god

Remus Lupin: what

James Potter: lily

Remus Lupin: what abt her

James Potter: she made a pun and i wanted to kiss her so bad i literally felt like dying oh god this is super bad moony fuck whats wrong with me

Remus Lupin: you like her

James Potter: fuck off

Lily Evans to Sirius Black: tell potter hes a fuck for spilling tea on my bed

Lily Evans: also i have beer for tonight

Sirius Black: what was james doing on ur bed

Sirius Black: huh evans

Sirius Black: james potter… on lily evanses actual bed… doing… something involving tea

Sirius Black: is ur kink tea evans

Lily Evans: I’m uninviting u tonite. do not come anywhere near my flat ever again

Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: stop staring at her

James Potter: cant help it

Sirius Black to Peter Pettigrew: u and lupin need to get ur asses to mine

Peter Pettigrew: dont tell my ass what to do

Sirius Black: I’m gunna kick ur ass

Peter Pettigrew: my ass is not afraid

Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: peter says to tell you that ‘his ass is ready to fight’

Remus Lupin: I can’t believe I just had to type that

James Potter to pussycat dolls only we are all nicole scherzinger: liyl call me

Lily Evans: james?

Lily Evans: are you drunk??

James Potter: u lookde sup er prtty tonihgt

James Potter: the preitttest

James Potter: whrer am i

Lily Evans: stay still im going to come and get you

Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: They’re fucking in love and not together how is this possible

Sirius Black: wow u didn’t use a single comma in that sentence u must be real riled up

Remus Lupin: don’t pretend you know what a comma is

James Potter to Lily Evans: your late

Lily Evans: traffic

James Potter: i can see u

James Potter: fucking ‘traffic’ your literally outside patting a DOG  

Lily Evans: leave me alone hes so soft

Peter Pettigrew to we need witter group chat names: i can’t believe u lot got me kicked out of class

Sirius Black: excuse u we did nothing

James Potter: peter r u saying u would prefer we didnt sing happy birthday to u and then give u a cake in the middle of a lecture????????

Remus Lupin: Is that what you’re saying Pete?

Peter Pettigrew: I hate u all

Lily Evans to Sirius Black: if i liked james whould that be a bad thing

Sirius Black: are you kidding me

Lily Evans: sirius i mean it

Sirius Black: evans hes been buying 6£ milk all year just so youll come over

Sirius Black: christ lil everytime your around he cant stop looking at you

Lily Evans: oh

Lily Evans to James Potter: the next time I see you im going to kiss you

Lily Evans: this is ur warning

James Potter: what

James Potter: are you kidding

Lily Evans: nope

James Potter: where are you right now

Lily Evans: my house

Lily Evans: why

James Potter: bc in running to ur fucking house thats why

Lily Evans: i was hoping youd say that

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naireides

the rom coms got it wrong

today’s fic: jily fake dating au
wc: 2 651
ao3 | see more ficmas here

Lily Evans needed a stiff drink. Or twenty.

“Stop that,” she hisses for the umpteenth time this evening, slapping his hand from where it was slowly inching up to fidget with his tie.

James makes a face at her, but drops his hand nonetheless. “I can’t believe you made me wear a tie,” he complains, saying the word tie as someone might say laryngitis or brussel sprouts.

She barely refrains from rolling her eyes, choosing instead to dig her nails into his forearm. “No, I was making Sirius wear a tie, but then he got sick so I ended up with you at the last moment. It’s like paying for Prada and then getting some cheap knockoff instead.”

He snorts, steering them to an empty table nearby. “You wound me, Evans.”

Lily crosses her legs as she sits, pasting on a large, sunny smile. “Shut up and put you arm around me. And pretend to be hopelessly in love with me.”

James does as she instructs, draping his arm across her shoulders and bringing her flush against his side, though not before dipping his head and whispering, “Oh come off it, Evans. If anyone is looking hopelessly in love with anyone here, it’s you.”

He receives an elbow to the gut for that, but it does nothing to wipe the grin from his face.

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