title: fire in the hole rating: t summary: the fire department and police department don’t exactly get along. part of police!AU series. notes: i’m lazy so this took longer than it should have. in consolation, this installment is much longer. first part here. disclaimer: b99’s dialogue is genius, thus many of these lines are from the show itself.
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“Uchiha, Haruno – I need you in my office,” Tsunade said as she walked past their desks. Sakura and Sasuke both nodded and followed her, closing the door behind them.
“What did you need us for, ma’am?” Sakura asked.
Tsunade shifted some paperwork around on her desk before leaning back in her chair. “We just got a call about a fire near downtown. The owner thinks it might be arson, so I want you two to check it out. A place called Ichiraku? It’s a ramen joint.”
Sakura raised an eyebrow. “Ichiraku Ramen? Oh no.”
“What?”
“Naruto’s going to be devastated.”
“He can deal. The idiot needs to learn to eat more than just noodles,” shrugged Sasuke.
Tsunade waved them away. “At any rate, go down there and see if you can find anything.”
They exited of her office and their eyes fell on Naruto, picking at some unidentified gunk on his desk and blissfully unaware of the tragic fate of his favorite restaurant. Sakura turned to Sasuke.
“We should tell him. I feel bad that Ichiraku just burned down and Naruto’s still living in a world where there are still Miso Mondays.” She started towards his desk. “Hey, Naruto.”
“Yeah! What’s up, Sakura?”
“Is tha- is that dried gum you just put in your mou- no, never mind. Apparently Ichiraku burned down earlier today. Teuchi called. I’m really sorry.”
The gum Naruto was chewing fell out of his mouth. “WHAT? No, that place is an institution! It’s the best ramen in the neighborhood!”
Chouji leaned over from his desk. “Weeeell, it’s actually the eighth best.” Naruto glared at him. “But a tragedy. Really any food related crime is a tragedy.”
“No, Ichiraku has a secret broth recipe that puts all the other ramen joints to shame.”
“I’m sorry Naruto, but I put out a weekly Konoha ramen-ranking email blast, and it’s only eighth-best. Quite frankly, they’re only seventh-best in mouth feel.”
Sakura raised an eyebrow at their exchange as Sasuke came up behind her.
“Haruno, let’s go.”
“Just know that we’ll catch whoever did it. It’ll be okay.”
Naruto whimpered.
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