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Spider-Verse fanfiction idea I’ll never get around to writing:

Teacher: Congratulations, Miles. Your paper on multi-dimensional physics has attracted a TON of interest from our Science Mentorship partners. We’ve found you a really wonderful Science Mentor who’s going to be helping you prepare your Youth Science Innovators presentation this week.

Miles: Oh, wow, my parents are gonna be so proud.

Teacher: So, let me introduce you to Dr. Olivia Octavius. Thank you, doctor, for being part of this mentorship program.

Liv: It’s my pleasure, I’m just happy I can help inspire the science community of tomorrow.

Miles: … D:

Important additions:

- Liv is 100% legitimately invested in being a good Science Mentor. After all, today’s young scientists are tomorrow’s reality-warping coworkers.

- Miles’s paper was an edited version of his research on small, stable inter-dimensional portals, so he can hang out with Gwen/get multiverse help against major threats.

- Sometimes, Miles forgets to be scared or angry at Doc Ock and starts actually learning from her, except she inevitably proposes something super unethical and then unconvincingly adds “…theoretically, of course” and Miles starts planning how to counter whatever doom-bot she’s just come up with as Spider-Man.

- May Parker has been helping Miles with spider-gadgets and general science stuff after school. At some point, she and Liv have an angry shouting match over who gets science-custody of their science-nephew.

- Miles has to figure out how to turn down a very plush internship offer from Octavius at the end of the week. His parents insist he take it, he fails to come up with a good reason not to that doesn’t involve Spider-Man knowledge. His parents have Liv over for dinner, she speaks highly of their son and his bright future. The family loves her.

- When Liv eventually figures out his secret identity, she goes full punch-clock villain and keeps mentoring Miles while fighting Spider-Man’s attempts to stop her Bad Idea Science.

This is the best and also so good I love

Ock: MILES YOU HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW WHY ARE YOU HERE

Miles: BECAUSE YOU’RE TRYING TO KILL PEOPLE OLIVIA

Eventually…

Someone: “Our primary suspect is Doc Ock.”

Miles: “It’s not Doc Ock.”

Someone: “How do you know?”

Miles: “Because Liv promised to stop causing mayhem on school nights if I agreed not to tell Floyd she’s the one who keeps taking his food out of the company fridge.”

Customer Service Wolf.

Piedmont will have absolutely no clue how to handle Post-Weirdmaggedon Dipper and Mabel.

The neighborhood kids play hide and seek and they’re hanging out on some random roof. You can’t beat them if you can’t reach them, suckas.

They’re outside every hour of the day. Literally. If you happen to be outside at two in the morning you might find them mid-magic hunt. Why not? Ford always said to take advantage of your insomnia for science.

Once some teenagers performing some weird Halloween hazing the Pines kids absolutely wrecked them. They literally have no chill.

For that matter, if you look Mabel in the eye, rumors say, you immediately have to play a game of cards with her. Never take pocket change anywhere near their street.

The pig goes with them. That’s final.

They say Dipper Pines has a six pack. They say he’s shredded. They saw he’s got a scar across the belly from fighting off a pack of wolves with his fists.

All the doors in the world are open if you know how to pick locks… Not that they’re saying they can. That’s implementing themselves in multiple unsolved crimes, and that would be stupid.

Feel free to add your own!

Mabel starts leaving handmade jewelry around their school, their neighborhood, the local grocery store. People who know her are afraid to touch them but strangers pick up these little wire and yarn doodads and find themselves having some very good luck.

There’s a rumor that that kid who always falls asleep in class couldn’t sleep at night because a ghost was haunting him. One night they find out that Dipper got in trouble for breaking into his house in the dead of night. That kid stops falling asleep in class.

On all their homework and tests, they leave behind red ink eyes crossed out with an X. One of Mabel’s classmates asked her why and she looked up front, at their Trigonometry teacher and said, just in case.

Dipper listens to a death metal band called Robbie V and the Tombstones. No one can find their songs anywhere, but if you ask he’s happy to lend you his CDs.

Mabel remembers everything, about everyone. She’s the only one who remembers the birthdays of the kids with no friends and she shares happy memories when her peers are upset about a grade or family stuff. She writes down little details in a pink glittery notebook, so that no one will ever forget.

Dipper and a group of his classmates went on a field trip in the woods. When Dipper disappeared for several hours, the teachers panicked, but he appeared at their bus a few hours later, having collected all the data he needed for his bio lab and toting a jar filled with multicolored moths. He’s banged up, but he doesn’t seem to notice. When someone asks where he got them, he says “Mothman” and doesn’t answer any more questions.

Mabel makes a tidy profit off of Mabel Juice during final exam season. Half their graduating class will swear by it all through high school even if it does taste terrible. (The arrest rate for stimulant drug use drops close to zero.)

#THE CRYPTID HUNTERS HAVE FINALLY BECOME THE CRYPTIDS

memeception

WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME

@caesarianconfection

I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it.

But this… This is something else.

The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.

For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun?

….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE

it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here

ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)

this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2)

“man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)

‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)

and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5)

which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)

(but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better)

This is next level shit.

Maz Kanata’s smuggler paradise has a giant statue of herself, arms open, perched on top. The thing is, I don’t think Maz has the ego to set it up there herself, so I’m headcanoning that, say 120 years ago or so, a group of smugglers got a bunch of cash together and commissioned this giant sculpture and presented it to her as a joke. “Oh hey, Maz, so none of us can remember a time before you were here and since you’re clearly gonna be the last of us to croak (your personalized brews keep the whole system running, you know; the universe won’t let you die your brews are so important), we want you to have THIS to remember us by!” One of their ships swoops overhead, a cargo hatch opens and Maz’s semblance is slowly lowered to the ground, cheers and laughter rumbling through the audience. 

The last of that crowd died 40 years ago. Maz remembers her final conversations with the last of them, reminiscing over that day, the retired smugglers daring Maz to go first so she can have their drinks waiting for them on the other side. Maz comforts them, subtly guiding the Force to dull the pain of limbs tired from fighting, of hearts exhausted from the thrill of the chase and acting as both predator and prey. She weaves them a peace they so rarely knew in life, these tired friends once so vibrant and full of jokes.

When the First Order bombs her outpost, she knows the exact moment her statue is blasted off its pedestal, feels when the arms crumble and the body collapses in segmented disarray. Memories of laughter and cheers and deathbeds unravel around it as the First Order desecrates her home, the adopted home of hundreds others over the years. Maz Kanata gathers who she can in the aftermath, and she plans.

In Which Xellos Gives Lord Beastmaster a Mother's Day Gift That She Does Not Really Appreciate

Title: In Which Xellos Gives Lord Beastmaster a Mother’s Day Gift That She Does Not Really Appreciate Fandom: Slayers Pairing: Xellos/Filia Word Count: 310

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The amount of sass is unreal

WHEN WILL PEOPLE FUCKING REALIZE THAT

MEN

ALSO

ARE

GIVEN

UNREALISTIC

EXPECTATIONS

DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA

HOW IMPOSSIBLE IT IS

TO BE A DARK LORD LIKE THIS???

IT’S 100% FUCKING ILLOGICAL TO EXPECT MEN TO HAVE THIS POWER OVER DEATH AND BE ADORABLE AND HAVE PERFECT SKIN AND GORGEOUS EYES!  MEN ALSO EXPERIENCE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE WITH OUR MORTALITY ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME.

tEN AND THE BEST SO FAR

humans

HUMANS

aaaaaaaaaand im done with it, it sucks, moving on to better things sobs im sorrry im terrible i doesnt even make sense bye

edit: fixed the pics

HOLY FLYING EPICAL FUCK

color exercise #6

Zelgadiss from Slayers.

He might be the first character I fell in love with :D.

oh my god yes

dear god I hope that no one on this website ever tries to run for president

barackobama:

erotic fanfiction about people who give me shit about our erotic fanfiction show

"I liked anal fisting with Romulan ale for lubricant before anyone thought Star Trek was cool,” she sighed, as the man above her tied her to the bed with the cords he’d snipped from her collection of San Diego Comic-Con badges (the last dated 2005, the year she’d started to suspect that other people might, in fact, know the convention existed; also the year someone had dared to cut in front of her in the bathroom line).  “It was all me.  Without me, no one would ever have heard of ass-play.”

"I know," he murmured.  "Why, I was the pioneer of breasts.  Just me, and my talking E.T. action figure, standing before the Cave of Tits while everyone else still thought they were for losers."

"Write me a story no one else thinks is cool," she begged.

"It’s a crossover," he said, and began.

'Reinventing Rescuing, ii,' theappleppielifestyle.

“Bored of the same old story,  they invent something else for a princess to do than be rescued.”  (via theappleppielifestyle)

OH MY GOD GUYS, HOMESTUCK TEAM RULES THIS YEAR IN FANDOM COMBAT, WATCH IT WATCH ITTTT!!

Really great video about Doc Scratch and Felt and Lord English and oh my god just watch it!! xD Xamag-chan outdid herself this year! Woooo Homestuck team!! 8DDD

I’M SO HAPPY

Oh MAN THIS IS SO AWESOME AND CATCHY AND AWESOME!

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Sorry, that password is already in use this is perfection (actually that's a huge security hole, not allowing repeated passwords, like now you know the password of at least one person on the site? you can use it to get access to their account? or do they also have limited number of access attempts before the account is blocked? which would be how you can block someone's account? no good at all)