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Aremo Shitai Koremo Shitai Onna no Ko ni Mietatte

@lilietsblog / lilietsblog.tumblr.com

Wow, it's been like 10 years since I updated this. Neat. I've made a dreamwidth blog just in case tumblr dies. I think dreamwidth is neat. My username on Discord is Liliet#1061 (and no I don't intend to update it, they're asking but they haven't tried to force me yet). My username on reddit is LilietB. Read PGTE. Homestuck is great. Peace and love on the planet Earth. I'm Ukrainian. Wish us luck.
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obiwanobi

not to add another AU to the list, but... AU where Obi-Wan is a fed-up senator who gets Anakin, Palpatine's adopted son, but more importantly secret Sith apprentice, as his assistant against his will, because Palpatine is trying to teach him about politics, patience and deception.

featuring lots of office shenanigans, Vaderkin dealing with work emails, Obi-Wan wondering why the Chancellor's son looks like he wants to murder him every time he asks him to do the bare minimum and if nepotism will ever end, and Palpatine being surprised that Obi-Wan's corpse hasn't been thrown through a window yet.

Obi-Wan hasn't been defenstrated yet because his impatient snappy peevishness yet calm and controlled demeanor is making Anakin's hind brain want to kneel and obey and he's so confused and yet intrigued he hasn't killed Senator Kenobi yet.

Doesn't help the man is very very... attractive. With his eye crinkled and silver temples and bright blue eyes... yes, Anakin will kill him eventually, and it will be painful and probably with a data pad bashed through his handsome face but for now Anakin is going to figure out why Obi-W—Senator Kenobi makes him feel all squirmy inside.

👀👀 I was already adding details to this AU and I'm gladly accepting this too now!

But of course I can't stop myself from writing more about it:

Anakin might be a good little Sith when it comes to thinking with his lightsaber, but Palpatine is getting annoyed with him for only having two moods; murder and brooding. So he forces him to learn about deception, lying, and manipulation and can't find a better school than the Senate for that. He throws him at the least important senator he can find (so his death would be easier to cover if Anakin ends up killing him "by mistake") and hopes he will learn to at least stay seated for more than 12 minutes without getting bored.

And that's how Anakin Skywalker becomes Senator Kenobi's assistant.

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Anonymous asked:

Tell me about your Gildor joins the fellowship AU.

He tells the hobbits his name is Gildor Inglorion, of the House of Finrod. He offers them hospitality on his trip West, and advice, and some light to break the darkness. He can tell there is great darkness.

The Riders come on his encampment in the night. They are almost laughable, feeble half-housed spirits grasping at remnants of flesh.

Almost.

He and his folk drive them off, of course, and the sleep of the hobbits in their pavilion is undisturbed. But this is dark business such as he has not seen for centuries, and he pledges to accompany the four mortals on at least this first part of their quest. (Accompanying mortals on dark quests is, by now, what he is known for.)

~*~

Aragorn is certain that this Gildor Inglorion is more than he seems. He’s never met the benn before, but there is power in him for all his friendliness and charm and late-Third-Age habits. And he’s old. Very old. Old enough to set a watch and sing the wards around their camp into readiness so that they may sleep in peace. When we reach home, Aragorn thinks, I shall press adar about these things.

The six of them reach Weathertop, and the battle is pitched but subtle. Gildor is good with his sword, and something in him drives the Riders back. Frodo is wounded, though, and even this odd and ancient elf cannot save him. They press on for days, and Gildor sings songs in the darkness and rain to drive out the cold.

When they find Glorfindel (when Glorfindel finds them) his eyes are keen and he shares a long look with Gildor. Aragorn knows they are speaking; he cannot join in. At last it is decided - Glorfindel shall ride with Frodo and make haste across the last flat mile before the Ford, and Gildor and Aragorn shall remain back with drawn swords and torches and meet the enemy in battle should the need arise. It is a desperate chase, and every moment counts, but the day is won and Frodo is saved and brought to the Last Homely House. Gildor and Gandalf go immediately into council and do not emerge except to speak to Elrond, when he is not tending to the hobbit in his care.

~*~

It’s almost a relief to Frodo when he finds out both Aragorn and Gildor will be coming with him on his journey. He was afraid of traveling with true strangers, but now it’s only Gimli and the man Boromir who he doesn’t know, and Gimli hardly counts, he’s Gloín’s son. When he asks why the elf is coming, Gildor laughs.

“These are fell and vital days, Frodo Baggins, and I would do my part one final time ere I leave these shores,” he says, and there is a light in his eyes that is almost too ancient to be witnessed. “And more besides - I would not be able to live with myself if you were wounded again and I could have saved you.”

(Gimli is less than enthused about traveling with an elf, but after a simple inquiry by Gildor about the state of things in the Lonely Mountain turns into hours of conversation about metalwork and tunneling and mine shaft construction, he decides that maybe there is one elf in all their race who is not miserable to exist alongside.)

~*~

They depart bright and early on the twenty-fifth of December by Shire reckoning. Elrond sees them off. “No oath or bond is on you to journey further than you will,” he says, and while Gimli argues on if such a thing is honorable, Gildor laughs to himself. “My friend,” he tells the Dwarf at last, “your heart is strong and none doubt your loyalty. But we elves have reasons for such thoughts, and they have nothing at all to do with a disregard for honor.” With that the matter is settled, and their Company leaves of one mind.

~*~

Aragorn has almost forgotten his suspicions of Gildor being more than he seems, but when their Company journeys into Moria, they rise again. He’s quick to find the secret door of ithildin, trailing his fingers over the scrollwork. His hand rests on the eight-pointed star, and for a moment Aragorn catches what might have been tears in the benn’s bright eyes. He’s also the one who catches the opening riddle (“’Speak, friend?’ he asks with a laugh, eyeing Gandalf. ‘Pedo’ is a direct command, Mithrandir, not an invitation.”) and reads the inscription aloud in flawless Sindarin, watching almost smugly as the doors open. And in the silence of the city and the mines, he is nearly as melancholy as Gimli. They take to whispering together in the darkness, brooding on might-have-beens and the names of the dead. Once in a great chamber he stops and stares at the arches, openly weeping. “Of all the halls I ever dwelled in,” he says to Gimli solemnly, “the greatest were those crafted by your people, and I was sorry to leave them, and I am sorry to bear witness to this decay.”

They find Balin’s tomb. Gildor reads the epitaph, and murmurs something in Khuzdul that makes Gimli gasp. (“I learned much from your people, son of Gloín,” he says in response, “and I have never shared the secrets I was taught. You have my word.”) The two of them pore over the book discovered in the same room. There is a brief debate about if it’s proper to explain and translate what was written, but then a Sindarin section is discovered and that is read aloud without concern.

~*~

When the orcs attack, it is Gildor who holds the door closed as the others flee. At last he reaches the Company at the bottom of the stairs, gasping and bright-eyed.

“There is some power there with them, Mithrandir, driving them on,” he says. “They spoke of fire and darkness - perhaps the lower levels are in flames - but I was forced to sing down a pillar and block our escape.”

“A pillar?” Gimli asks, brought from silence by concern. “You’ll bring down the whole mountain on our heads if you’re not careful!”

“Peace,” Gildor replies. “I helped to - I know the ways these halls were constructed. I am old, and have seen much; in the Elder Days we had reason to fear invasion and war and so there were designs crafted to allow certain arches to be toppled to aid in defense. It was one of those I felled.”

~*~

The Balrog comes. Gildor offers to fight it and draws his sword. Gandalf argues with him, finally ordering him to flee and to remain alive. It is the first true order he has given at least since their entry into Moria. And he is angry, and alive, and powerful even beyond his physical form. But he listens, and does what is asked. Aragorn watches as the benn seems to shrink down into his hröa, and says nothing as he himself is ordered to run while Gildor guards the retreat.

~*~

“Eight there are,” Celeborn says, “and yet nine there were that set out from Rivendell.” His gaze is inscrutable, and the Lady beside him is fair but yet silent.

“Mithrandir fell in combat with a Valarauko,” Gildor says from the rear of the Company, stepping forward to speak directly to the other elves. “He ordered us to flee, else we would have joined him in combat.”

Galadriel’s eyes do not leave Gildor’s for the remainder of their audience. Later, in the evening, Frodo swears he hears her laughing as the two of them walk through the trees.

~*~

The Fellowship breaks. Frodo and Sam strike out alone, and Gildor counsels Aragorn to leave them.

“You have work to do here, scion of Beren,” he says privately, “and their path is set by forces greater than ourselves.”

Boromir is dead, slain protecting Merry and Pippin. The three remaining members of their Company see to his body and strike out for Rohan.

~*~

It is not until later, much later, that Aragorn remembers he still suspects. Gandalf has returned, and Rohan is saved from Isengard, and the Pelennor is rid of the besieging orc army, and the Witch-King is slain by Merry and Éowyn, and he has unfurled the banner of his royal House for the first time, and now he sits in council for a final debate.

“We need a diversion,” Gimli says, for once choosing to forego softness and poetry in his speech. “If Sauron recognizes that Frodo and Sam are within his borders their chances become nonexistent.”

“But how can we entice Sauron to combat us?” Imrahil replies. “We only narrowly avoided loss and defeat here. We cannot muster up an army of corpses to march and fight for us - not anymore, anyway.”

“Did you not use the Stone of Orthanc to challenge him?” Éomer asks Aragorn.

“I did,” the man answers, “but while he was angered I cannot say for sure he will answer me.” He sees that Gandalf is looking at Gildor, and looking at him in a way that suggests some great amusement. They converse silently, and at last the benn groans and shakes his head.

“I shall, then,” he tells Gandalf directly, almost rolling his eyes, and rises from his seat with an easy grace. He crosses the distance between where he sat and where Aragorn sits now, and bows in antiquated elvish fashion.

“If we ride, lord” he continues, “I can draw out our enemy. He might ignore you mortals as harmless. But he will remember me, and in seeing me he will know your bloodline.”

“Remember you?” Imrahil says. “What do you mean?”

~*~

The melody cuts through the air, tearing and repairing and revitalizing, leaving the lone elf standing before the Black Gate holding the threads of song and reality in his hand. His hair is gleaming gold in the faint light, and he seems to grow as the shadows deepen. Around him the very earth shifts as he sings, rising and falling and cracking. There is Discord here, woven into all that is.

He combats it with his own song of staying.

And Aragorn, watching, knows what his heart has been telling him all along.

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in general i would say that “it’s not fun if they’re totally unrecognisable” is my fandom thesis. like the point of fanfic etc is putting your favourite little guys in situations. where’s the appeal if they’ve been through so many fanon spin cycles that they’re barely even your guys anymore

loads of people are reblogging this like “this is why i don’t like AUs” and honestly this is not an anti AU post by any stretch of the imagination. if you think “alternate universe fic” = “completely unrecognisable characters” then love and light but you need to read some better AUs!! putting your little guys in a completely different setting or time period or making them baristas or racing drivers or pop stars or whatever doesn’t inherently render them unrecognisable and in fact the APPEAL of a well done AU fic is seeing how your favourite guys deal with a completely different set of circumstances. support your local wacky AU today x

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lilietsblog

The thing is, "unrecognizable" is subjective. Everyone recognizes their favorite little guys by different criteria, and what's unrecognizable to some people is "same person in a different situation" for others.

Then there's the fact that sometimes fanfic is not about putting THE little guys into A situations, but about putting A little guys into THE situations.

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Anonymous asked:

oh man, in the suddenly a/b/o verse, does obi-wan and/or anakin have to give, like "welcome to warfare 101 here's how not to die or kill your men" lessons to the temple? is anyone like 'glad you're here, sort of freaked out by how good at war you are, you wanna...unpack that any...?' (is medilia/daan a thing and does obi-wan have to be like 'haha childhood trauma :) :) :) please don't ask questions:) :) :)')

Oh yeah, absolutely they have to give lessons on tactics and strategy to everyone. They have maybe a year to get ready for it all, with the sabotage they run on the droid factories. Anakin and Obi-Wan being Better At War because of their experiences is a running thing I have in time-travel fics, and it's useful because wow they want to save as many Jedi and clones and civilians as possible, (and the admirals and other natborn non-Jedi officers, I guess), but it's especially fun in this one because everyone expects them to "be omegas about it."

Which is absolute bullshit, obviously, even in-universe, but especially for the two fuckers who know what they're doing.

So what you've got is two genuinely competent individuals who know strategy and tactics, negotiation and logistics, the types of soldiers they've got and the type of technology they'll be using, all of it. They have differing, complementary specialties, and work extraordinarily well as a two-man unit. They are two of the only people in existence that know how to fight a war that's larger than a single system. They understand galactic warfare in a way even Yoda doesn't, because even Yoda wasn't alive when the last one happened. There are a few Legends characters who were (e.g. Master Fay), but few if any of them are actually ready for a war, and it's been a thousand years. They've had time to forget, and I'm sure they've tried.

You know, for trauma reasons.

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tanoraqui

unfortunately I have begun to mentally write the Lotr/Silmarillion AU longfic that I would write if I was going to write a LotR/Silmarillion AU longfic. Which I’m not going to do. But if I was, I know roughly how the prologue would go.

i am TRYING to do work, but my brain won’t stop playing “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables” while thinking about a reincarnated Celebrimbor leading the Fellowship through Khazad-dum

the prologue would go like this:

“Celebrimbor, please. Calimafëa.” Annatar’s voice is soft again, his touch gentle. “End this, please let me end this. I have no desire to hurt you so.”

He is honest, at least. At last. It is impossible to hide one’s own emotions when boring like a drill through the mind of another, ransacking like an orc and consuming like a flame. Though if anyone could do it, it would be Sauron the Deceiver.

This is ABSOLUTELY written for everyone who shouted in the reblog tags for more. You bastards, I had to look up so many place names and he’s barely gone anywhere

Celebrimbor didn’t linger in Valmar, no longer than was necessary to acquire decent clothes and a tolerable sword. The Vanyar were curious, but too polite to ask delaying questions of someone on a time-sensitive mission from the Valar themselves. (More like on leniency from the Valar… Celebrimbor couldn’t say what he’d expected when he swore his Oath, because he hadn’t really expected anything, save more pain for his defiance. He still thought he would rather be cast into eternal Void than see the Three, and then all Middle Earth, in An– in Sauron’s hand.)

Time-sensitive though, yes. Mandos had said nothing more, but the new Oath gnawed at Celebrimbor’s gut, urging action, and he’d been in enough deadly battles and wars to sense when one was drawing to a breaking point, even from idyllic Aman. For war this was, though war begun, resumed, or unending he didn’t know - the Vanyar said that 4,762 years had passed while he was in the Halls of Mandos, but the only details they could give of Arda was some vague story about Numenor earning its own destruction. No word of Sauron, none of Laurelindórenan or Lindon, much less any of the other races…

GRATEFUL SHOUTOUT to @isi7140 for all translations!

It was less strange to ride through the empty hills of Lindon than it was to walk through diminished Mithlond, but it was still strange. Celebrimbor…had seen entire landscapes altered overnight, by both fire and flood. But never by time, which was supposed to be a gradual thing. The air was drier and cooler in a way he could tell wasn’t just random fluctuation; the dominant scrub-brushes had wider, darker leaves; and the hills themselves were flatter, worn by wind and rain.

There was barely any farmland, and the wolves that howled at night were more fell.

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reblogged

I may have mentioned this on here before, but I’d like to give a shout out to a really good AA fanfic I just got back into: Road to Ruin by Pengy-Chan. After playing AAI, I wouldn’t say I thought of Quercus Alba as the most compelling villain in the series, but this fic did a lot of really interesting things with him as a character, portraying his slow rise to power and rapid fall into disgrace. It also does an impressive job of expanding the world of the series in a decidedly more grounded and serious tone than the games, while still managing to fit right in with the canon when it catches up to it. The one thing I’ll say that could potentially be a negative - or even more of a positive depending on your tastes - is that it does start in the 1960s and take a pretty long time to get to events and characters that are directly established in Investigations, but again, if you’re interested in reading an almost novel length work, I wouldn’t count that against it. If any of that sounds interesting, please read it so I can have people to chat with about it!

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lilietsblog

on one hand i hate few things more than 'fall from grace' stories

on the other hand if the narration is fun to read i can overcome nearly any premise to love the result

We Shall See

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reblogged
Sweet, now I can rec this fic! https://archiveofourown.org/works/3246587 tl;dr post-DD pub crawl to celebrate Simon’s pardon.

Would you believe that Wolf recc’d this one to me only about half an hour ago?

Anyway, this is the reminder: hit me up with fic recs. I hoard them like a dragon. I’ll read everything someday.

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lilietsblog

this is. really good

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reblogged

…..that’s weird that Franziska hasn’t shown up to court. She strikes me as the type that would rather die than be late to anything

SHE WAS WHAT

FRAN ARE YOU OKAY

Let’s be real, if anyone would just get the fuck back up and walk into court to do her prosecuting job right after getting shot, it’d be Fran.

You’re totally right and I for one, love her for it.

and she was shot in the shoulder too, which I imagine is clearly meant for parallels to dear ol’ piece of shit dad. 

but yeah you know she would have tried to go to court anyway. It was definitely an uphill battle to make her go to the hospital. “Hello, police, I’ve been shot. Can you come over here and investigate to try and track down the culprit? No, I haven’t called the hospital. No I don’t need an ambulance. I’m not going. I have to go into court today.” 

She doesn’t even call Edgeworth because she knows he’d be like “FRANZISKA, GO TO THE HOSPITAL.” Gumshoe calls Edgeworth instead. He shows up at wherever she’s staying and is like. “Franziska, you need to go to the hospital and have it taken care of -” 

“Fuck you, Miles, you fake your death for a year and show up yesterday and already are trying to tell me how to live my life -”

“FRANZISKA, YOU WERE SHOT. GOING TO THE HOSPITAL AFTER THAT IS NOT UP FOR DEBATE.”

“LET ME GO, I HAVE TO GO KICK PHOENIX WRIGHT’S ASS” 

He has to wrestle the whip out of her one functioning hand so that she doesn’t try to attack the paramedics to get them to leave her alone.

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Okay real talk again but the fact that Phoenix is such a gay mess that he refuses to talk about Edgeworth with Maya is self-defeating for Phoenix actually working through his own grief, and not just because talking to your friends can like. be a good thing.

Maya’s a goddamn spirit medium. She could just be like “well I’ll summon Edgeworth and you can talk to him one last time to get some closure” and even if Phoenix was like “god he’d be so pissed that we’re not letting him rest in peace” Maya might be like “I’m doing it.”

And then when she fails at that, she realizes: Edgeworth isn’t dead.

And so Phoenix runs off from his lawyerly responsibilities and Maya from her training and maybe they take Pearl - she’s been so sheltered, now might as well be the time to show her the world - and they take a trip around the world to find Edgeworth. And they do, inevitably, because Phoenix and Maya are stubborn and determined.

Edgeworth opens his door when someone knocks on it and opens it to find Phoenix, his teen sidekick, and this small child, and he’s just like “Wright for the love of fuck, how the fuck”

“You thought there was no way I couldn’t know that you weren’t dead but my best friend is a spirit medium.”

“How did you find me?”

“I went through law school to find you, this was almost easier.”

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Okay so like I genuinely, genuinely, cannot stop thinking about the fact that Phoenix and Maya went and showed von Karma this crucial piece of evidence they found that inextricably links von Karma to conspiracy and murder. Like they have this letter in von Karma’s handwriting outlining the entire plot and they show it to him. They know he’s a terrible man and absolutely ruthless, that he’s currently stealing evidence for the DL-6 incident so that no one can use it, and they’re just like “we have this very important trump card that can give us an edge to save Edgeworth. Let’s definitely show our hand to this ruthless cruel man. Can’t go wrong.” And then they get tased.

I cannot stop thinking about this absolutely stupid sequence of events but I also cannot stop wondering: did they tell Edgeworth about this?

Like honestly Phoenix is probably down to never mention this again, because he should be learning from his past mistakes like when White punched him in the face and Vasquez had her mafia boys nearly murder them, only to be saved by Gumshoe. He’s had issues with this twice already. Fool me once, fool me twice, what the hell’s the third time?

And well, for one, they’re all definitely stressed enough over this trial as it is. Edgeworth has had a shitty past few days, unbelievably shitty, and this is going to A) probably make him feel even worse, and B) he’s going to take the opportunity to call Phoenix an absolute fucking idiot (deservedly) so better just….just go in and do what we can. We haven’t lost yet. Better not to make things worse. If we lose and Edgeworth is found guilty I can figure out whether I want to get this off my chest then, not now. 

But Maya’s psychic powers have her still being staticy as hell as an after-effect of the tasing and she zaps Phoenix and then Edgeworth and honestly everything surrounding Phoenix and Maya is weird as shit and there’s bigger things to worry about so Edgeworth probably doesn’t question it then.

Later, after the trial is over, Gumshoe takes the gang out for a celebration and honestly Edgeworth’s probably still processing everything, he was declared innocent of murder and then confessed to the murder of his father and was declared innocent of that because his mentor and replacement father-figure was convicted of the murder of his father. It has been a rough day. It has been a rough four days. How do you cope with this? Probably by thinking about literally anything else and so Edgeworth ends up remembering that morning that Maya tried to give him a pat on the back and gave him an electrical shock instead and he’s like. what is up with that.

“Oh, yeah! Sorry, sorry! It’s because I’m a psychic, you know” - no, he doesn’t know, I mean he does know she’s a psychic by now but he doesn’t actually know in the slightest what is up with that - “and I was still channeling the effects of getting tased yesterday.”

“You… were tased?” 

“Yeah, me and Nick, von Karma tased us when we ran into him down at the precinct.”

Edgeworth takes a solid 20 seconds to process this. “…von Karma tased you?”

Phoenix is trapped in some conversation with Larry and cannot extract himself to hear and intervene in the impending disaster happening next to him. 

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ink-splotch

yer a wizard, dudley

Harry Potter spent his eleventh birthday in a cabin on a tiny rock in the middle of the sea, listening to his cousin snore on the couch.

When a knock sounded on the wind-swept, rain-drenched door, it was not a giant fist (or a half-giant’s fist). It was a short sharp rap that sounded once, twice, three times before Minerva McGonagall simply charmed the lock open and stepped inside.

“Apologies,” Minerva said crisply, as Vernon raced out brandishing his rifle and Petunia pulled Dudley up off the couch and behind her. “I wasn’t sure you could hear me over the weather.” The rain fell down behind the professor in a roar. She was perfectly dry.

Minerva fished in her pocket without looking, because the only things allowed in her pockets were only ever exactly what she needed. “I’ve come to deliver this,” she said, pulling out a letter and handing it to Harry, who was cross-legged on the floor, “because our owl post seems to have been unable to get through.”

“And I’ve come to deliver this,” she added, pulling out a second letter, “because Hogwarts by-laws require a professor to hand-deliver acceptance letters to Muggleborn families for their explanation and comfort.”

The Dursleys did not look comforted, nor did they sound it once they opened their mouths. Dudley rubbed sleep from his eyes while Harry retreated to a corner out of everyone’s reach to open his letter (finally) and read through it. When he looked up again, Uncle Vernon’s rifle had turned into a rubber chicken and the professor was almost yelling.

“Your son has magic,” Minerva snapped. She had just come from a little family of Muggle dentists, who had taken notes on everything she told them, and their bushy-haired daughter, who had stared up at her with big hungry eyes and asked questions at breakneck speed. After that, this was not just exhausting but almost insulting.  "Whether or not you want him to be, Dudley is magic. If we do not teach him to handle it, it will still happen.“

“I want to go,” said Harry, very softly.

Minerva couldn’t decide whether to go softer or more fierce. “Of course you will, Mr. Potter, if I have to escort you myself.”

“We won’t– we won’t allow–” Vernon began to bluster, but Dudley was watching Harry’s set face. His little eyes squinted.

“Dudley is not–”

“If Harry gets to go,” said Dudley at the top of his sizeable lungs.

“Dudley,” Vernon snapped, so Dudley raised his voice even higher to announce, “Then I do, too.”

“But Duddikins–”

Dudley’s face was going red. Harry moved quietly out of his radius and Minerva watched him go. “It’s not fair, you can’t stop me, I’m not gonna sit and learn dumb maths while he does magic–”

“Don’t say that word!”

Neither of you is going–”

Dudley bellowed, no words, just sound, drowning out his parents. Harry watched the rain out the window. Minerva had known James Potter. She had known him well, in war and in peace, from behind a teacher’s desk and beside him in the trenches. This eleven year old looked very little like the grinning boy she’d so often scolded– but he looked a bit like the young man she’d later had the privilege of fighting alongside.

McGonagall drew close to Petunia as Vernon tried to muffle Dudley’s hollers with big hands and wheedling promises. “Mrs. Dursley, you may not be aware, but every letter to the Hogwarts admissions office goes through me, and has for decades.” Petunia’s bony face snapped up to meet Minerva’s eyes. “Including those sent with stamps.”

Petunia was pale, her fists claws at her sides. “Childish– those were childish, absurd wishes–”

“He is a child,” said Minerva. “He’s magical. Let him have this.”

Dudley took a breath and let out another bellow, kicking at his father’s shin.

Minerva tried not to wince. She tried to mean it. “Let him have the chances you didn’t.” Petunia’s gaze shifted away to the ground. Minerva reached out for the other woman’s elbow, her bony fingers as gentle as she could force them to be, which wasn’t very. “Don’t hate him for it, Ms. Dursley.”

“I would never,” Petunia snapped, raising her eyes in a swift, angry jerk, but Minerva had known Lily Evans, too.

.

READ THIS.

It will be the best HP fic you’ll read this year.

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In Harry Potter’s third year of Hogwarts, Professor Trelawney decides a mess of tea leaves in a teacup is not a mess, but a Grim, the black dog of death. Everyone ignores this after the initial fuss dies down, but it isn’t exactly forgotten.

It’s reasoned in Houses that are Not Gryffindor that Potter has actually tried to die for the previous two terms already. Trelawney might be an incense-laden fraud, but even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Three times, even, if you’re in possession of a Time-Turner.

Thus, on Christmas Day, everyone staying over during the hols awakens to find that the massive gaudy star on the Great Hall’s Christmas tree has been replaced with an ornament painted up to eerily resemble the head of the Grim.

Harry thinks it’s hilarious. He waits until the holiday is over to thank the twins for giving him a laugh.

George and Fred glance at each other. While an excellent idea, this was not their doing.

This is unacceptable. Their status as the school pranksters is at risk.

The twins decide that they will find this obvious Kindred Spirit and enlist them in the joys of terrorizing Hogwarts’ staff.

What they don’t expect is how difficult this task will be. They also don’t expect the result: a Hufflepuff so unassuming that they looked over the blond kid’s hair at least twice before realizing they were overlooking their culprit.

“Oh, that’s just the curse,” the Hufflepuff says after introductions are completed.

“Aren’t you a Muggle-born?” George asks.

The Hufflepuff shrugs.

After a bit of conversation, George and Fred decide two things:

The Hufflepuff is a quiet, elusive, pranking genius.

They are adopting Unassuming Hufflepuff post-haste.

Well, three things, really. Unassuming Hufflepuff is so unassuming that they could get away with murder, if they were so inclined.

None of them realize that this new alliance means that they will eventually save the school from Sirius Black.

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asukaskerian

btw a very good recent Girl Genius oneshot that i don’t know if the author put it on tumblr already but!

It’s not a coincidence the Heterodynes so rarely produce girls - more of a tradition, really, that all their children are raised as sons. It didn’t always work out, but it worked out for Barry.

It’s a series of scenes along the timeline full of explorative genderfuckery and delicious heterodyne weirdness. Barry’s not the only one written about. i thought it was really cool.

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