#anti-feminism – @lilietsblog on Tumblr

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there are a lot of people on this site claiming to be feminists yet claiming to hate men, which makes them misandrists and not feminists

people who claim you can be a feminist while still hating men truly scare me because it’s like claiming you can hate children while still “supporting and upholding the safety” of all ages, you get me?

you can’t uphold that safety if you have actual venomous hate for an entire group of people under that umbrella.

when a person says they hate men, realise it isn’t just “white cishet dudebros” that they mean. it isn’t a stereotype that they hate. they are saying that they hate allmen. think about how varied humanity is. think about how varied men are. doesn’t that scare you?

it scares me.

it scares me, and i am a victim of torture and rape at the hands of a man over the course of four years of my life. i am scared to be alone with strange men, but i do not hate them. i understand there is violence because i am a victim of that violence and i know all too well the scars that it leaves.

there is a difference between being alert to the statistics, and actively seeking out men on tumblr to hurt them for no other reason that they are male.

which is what a lot of tumblr is doing.

you’re hurting the people you claim to protect.

men of all races,

men of all abilities,

men of all physical and mental health,

men of all sexualities,

men of all status,

men of all ages,

masculine-presenting nonbinaries

and transmen (that too fall into those categories) as well.

these are the men that these people are putting in danger and hurting with these violent thoughts. i am not claiming that every man is innocent and i am sure as hell not claiming that every woman is. i am a feminist and as a feminist i first and foremost must believe that we are all born equal and recognise the need to fight for everyone’s equality - which a lot of you seem to be forgetting.

i’m not going to get in a debate of who has it worse. i’m not going to get into a debate over anything because this is what i think and goddamnit i will keep screaming it out until the day i die. misandry on tumblr scares me, as a pansexual woman. it hurts those in the communities listed above. it hurts people that i dearly love. people that i would do anything to protect. it’s not trendy, it’s not cool. it’s out of control. people on actual feminist boards look at this site and get scared shitless by how extreme you people are. some of you are even promoting the mass killing of males for existing as males. think about that for a second.

does that seem like something a nonviolent person would say? advocating for a mass slaughter, for suffering, for a so-called revenge?

no. it sounds like something you’d tell the police or an authority figure if you heard people talking that way in real life.

if you think that hating men is “real feminism” get the fuck outta my face because feminism is about equality for all people with the current goal of getting all women to an equal place in world society. but it also means that we need to help and support men instead of hating on them for their “place” in society because they need help as much as women and nonbinaries do.

"Feminism is mainly focused on women’s issues, but […] since feminism seeks gender equality, it must necessarily include men’s liberation because men are also harmed by sexism and gender roles." - Wikipedia

i don’t care how fucking trendy something is. how cool certain phrases are. there is nothing to be gained except violence and hatred. i am a woman and a feminist. i believe in love, in hope, in optimism, in protection, in education, in equality, and in freedom. i am here to build, to construct, to support and scream.

i am not here to watch the man i love with my entire heart nearly cry his eyes out, become scared of what is supposed to be his safe and happy place, and consider turning his back on tumblr because of you jackshits.

i am not here to watch my masculine-dressing nonbinary friend get inbox hate for presenting as such and posting their opinions.

i am not here to watch my bisexual male friend get long, vile messages for daring to offer up his support in a feminist post on a site that’s supposed to be for all people

i am sick of living with the fear that this is the post that gets me a flooded inbox full of people marching me off of this site for daring to post this opinion.

i am sick of this. it hurts my heart. it makes my blood turn into ice and acid fill up my throat, to know that a lot of the people i love will read this and attack me for it.

but this is life, and i’m not hiding my opinions anymore.

If only more feminists were like this, I’d probably still be a feminist.

Yes, this is good. Call out the radfems and reclaim the movement.

#reblog #feminism #anti-feminism #misandry #gender issues #social justice on tumblr is stupid #social justice #i still call myself a feminist #despite all hate towards feminists here #that local feminists actually deserve #but not all feminists are like that just like not all men are like that and i'll repeat it as many times as i need #i was never raped or assaulted in any other way despite living in society chock-full of males #because men aren't all bad #and don't deserve hate #and if anyone harms my brother i will fucking kill them #peace and love and tolerance

lilietsblog reblogged

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Women are responsible for raising kids:

Put most child custody battles here. Courts almost always go in favor of the mother in custody disputes. I’ve seen this too many times. It gets even worse when they try to use their children as weapons against fathers.

Women are weaker:

This is used in cases involving abuse. When a woman assaults a man one of two things happen: a) the man takes it and doesn’t retaliate because he was raised not to hit a woman or b) the man snaps and beats the hell out of the woman who plays the “I’m just a girl, call the waaah-bulance” card and gets him arrested. This happens entirely too often.

Women are valued by beauty:

Women spin this and profit off of their looks. Models, actresses, escorts, strippers, porn stars, etc. Or even just marrying a rich guy and taking all of his shit after a divorce. When women know they’re attractive and have the confidence for it, they go out and make a living solely for being hot. (inb4 “objectification by men” - if you enjoy men oogling at you and are getting paid at the same time is that really a down side?)

Women should be taken care of:

This one is too easy. Literally anything from the buck you saved when your boyfriend insisted on buying you skittles to Anna Nicole Smith’s infamous grave-robbing tactics.

Women are the damsels in distress:

Best example I can use are tumblr feminists. Taking this stereotype and using it as propaganda to recruit susceptible girls to their movement. “Women are abused. Women get paid less. Women aren’t the majority of politicians or CEOs. Women have to shave. Women can’t talk about the 248 people they slept with without being judged. Women are objectified. Women don’t have equal rights. There aren’t any strong women depicted in (insert tv show/movie here). They are always victims!” ~~I’ve just served you 38% of your daily in take of irony. You’re welcome.~~ I’m not even adding how easy it is for a woman to falsely accuse men of crimes because of this stereotype.

I know this is going to offend the fuck out of some people (waddayawannado?), but most girls (at one point or another) have used these stereotypes to their advantage. No matter how “oppressed” you think you are.

And no I am not saying these stereotypes are awesome and everyone should uphold them. Some of them even offend me, but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t used them in my favor.

It’s all about perspectives.

(And if a guy can make a list like this for males, I’d wanna read it and compare/contrast)

I can make a few, but the comparison will be... sad... probably.

Men are Mechanical

Whenever it comes to any kind of repairs - Cars, Sinks, Houses, etc. - most other men or professionals will assume you know what is what and just don't wanna do it yourself or just want a "professional" to handle it. I've actually seen this happen: Men will consistently get quoted at lower prices for car repairs (and some other repairs) and upkeep because women are assumed to not know what it's actually worth.

Dad's in Charge

"Ask your Father." "Wait til your Father gets home." etc. Kids generally will try to pull all kinds of shit past mom because mom generally isn't seen as a real threat to them. But Dad generally brings the punishments down hard. As such, Dad generally gets more respect from the kids, even if that respect is purely born of fear. This later translates into a business world where people are generally more willing to listen to older men, or younger women, but not older women (or younger men).

Man Credit

Guys have an overall easier time getting loans and stuff "on credit" from not only banks and institutions, but also friends. Men are generally expected to have more money/more resources/more income in general so the prospect of getting paid back in a reasonable amount of time is there - regardless of what the actual financials may be. I personally have had people I barely even know spot me money because they "just know I'm good for it," or because "Bro Code, I know you won't stiff me."

Men are Straightforward

"I'm Fine" means I'm Fine. Our yes is our yes and our no is our no. We call someone our friend and don't turn around and immediately gossip about them behind their backs. We're open with our enemies. Etc. etc. This can be played on to get people to agree to things more readily with just a "smile and a handshake." But it's also complete bullshit like most other stereotypes: I know tons of catty men. Still, this reputation allows most Con Men to be exactly that: Men.

Sexual Prowess is Expected

You can manwhore it up all week and there's no stigma to go with it. In fact, being a blatant playboy can often even be attractive to women (James Bond, Neal Caffrey, that one asshole from Mad Men). Males who have a lot of sex are "alphas" (blech) and thus powerful. And power is all men respect (blech, again).

That's all I can really add for right now. But those are all the ones I've seen men "play to their advantage" before.

lilietsblog

So basically, both genders can use stereotypes to profit themselves and hurt others unfairly. This is not a battle of men vs women, this is a battle of sanity vs stereotypes. What's so hard to understand about it?

#reblog #gender issues #feminism #anti-feminism #social justice #social justice on tumblr is stupid