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Aremo Shitai Koremo Shitai Onna no Ko ni Mietatte

@lilietsblog / lilietsblog.tumblr.com

Wow, it's been like 10 years since I updated this. Neat. I've made a dreamwidth blog just in case tumblr dies. I think dreamwidth is neat. My username on Discord is Liliet#1061 (and no I don't intend to update it, they're asking but they haven't tried to force me yet). My username on reddit is LilietB. Read PGTE. Homestuck is great. Peace and love on the planet Earth. I'm Ukrainian. Wish us luck.
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doubleca5t

the lesson I'm taking away from this election is not that the Democrats need to become more left wing or more right wing but moreso that they need to find a way to cater their rhetoric towards people who genuinly have no idea what is going on. the target audience for every speech and political appearance should be someone who doesn't know what the three branches of government are because they were drawing a Cool S during high school civics

political scientists have failed to consider the possibility that the silent majority is silent because they didn't understand the question and are trying to play it cool

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mlmshark

Late night thought but I think the thing that really ties it together for me on transandrophobia/anti transmasculinity stuff is how quickly people will turn on a transfem if they side with transmascs. Like I’ve seen people in real time try to find any way to take a transfems ‘status’ as transfem away when they say they agree with us, saying that they’re not “transfem enough”, accusing them of secretly being transmasc, trying to find any past take that would invalidate them, or just flat out say they’re lying about being transfem. Like these people immediately fall back on transmisogyny if a transfem sides with us, despite accusing us of being the transmisogynistic ones, which kinda comes back to my assumption that these people just want to silence any trans people that don’t agree with them

I've had this in my drafts in awhile but I think now is the time to reblog it because of this recent addition to my pinned wall of things transandrophobes say about me:

Like, look at that lmao. She hates to do it, but alas, I'm simply so awful she has no choice.

And this isn't about revoking my transfemininity card, but it sure did make me stare at my screen in genuine shock, because holy shit I didn't expect it:

The full line is actually "pickme begging to be beaten to death with hammers" and like. Wowwie zowwie! That's kinna fucked up! That's so fucking weird and gross! They are literally fantasizing about me being hate crimed because it would validate their "non-transfems will always betray you" nonsense.

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dajo42

if somebody you knew for a year said "listen. im just gonna be honest here. i know ive known you too long to not know your name. but i simply do not. i dont know how this happened. im reasonably confident you told me your name at some point. could you remind me please" how would you react

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lilietsblog

One of the following options:

  1. "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours, because same" (odds are I am in the exact same situation and have been studiously avoiding ever needing to address them)
  2. "I'm Liliet, and you're.... X, right?" (the second most likely possibility is that I THINK I know their name but I'm honestly not that confident)
  3. "I'm Liliet and yeah happens to me all the time, I think I only remember yours because [the reason why I actually do remember theirs]" (least likely possibility)
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The three mental illnesses are

  • Terminal child syndrome lol sorry you'll be infantilized forever and never get any basic respect we have the right to not treat you like an adult and make life worse for you in the name of helping, or shun you completely :)
  • Just stop doing that you useless cunt go the fuck outside and stop being a burden to society get the fuck up and stop having this illness. Have this list of pop psychology bullshit and get your shit together. We can still romanticize your struggle if you're hot and manage it just well enough to not be a useless cunt
  • Irredeemable piece of shit disorder uh sorry but your vibe is off and you should go to jail for it I fucking hate you and you deserve nothing you vile piece of human garbage you need to be avoided at all costs everyone should cut you off immediately no one should have to put up with you you manipulative asshole

To everybody in the notes saying something along the lines of any specific disorder could be any of these three depending on how someone wants to justify mistreating the individual, you are correct. I was thinking of autism, depression and npd respectively but you're actually right

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bubblegum-gf

tumblr isn’t a social media it’s a farmers market and the people you follow are the vendors and your mutuals are regulars and sometimes a person I buy pumpkins from will start selling realistic models of sailboats and damn i’m not gonna buy any but I will come by and compliment you on your sailboats

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fieldbears

Sometimes the bakery stall that's been selling top tier muffins and bread for years all of a sudden has an entire table dedicated to moss balls wearing little hats. and the correct response to that is "okay! happy for you!"

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Writing another weird short story that will demonstrate once again that there is something deeply wrong with me

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applefudge5

NOT AGAIN

You know you love it

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notyouiguess

Go read it right now

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Why are agriculture classes the first time I've learned extremely basic info about nutrition and how digestion works. Why isn't this stuff in health textbooks or any easily accessible resource about healthy eating.

I dont want to talk in excessive depth about it because i'm not an expert, but it's like...the agriculture textbooks go into detail about what the nutrients do for the body and how they are broken down, in the animal agriculture class talking primarily about how to feed your animals, the plant agriculture class talking about why certain crops are grown and how the agriculture system has to meet human needs.

The animal agriculture class was the first time I experienced each macronutrient (fats, proteins, carbohydrates) being discussed in depth from the point of view of being needs that MUST be met, rather than things it's "okay" to eat "in moderation."

My college health class actually used the word "macronutrient," but it still mostly described fats and carbohydrates in terms of their calorie content and didn't go into the same amount of depth about them.

My animal agriculture class on the other hand, was the first time I'd been taught in a class that the amount of nutrition absorbed from eating food varies depending on genetics, environmental factors, what the digestive system is accustomed to processing and what it was conditioned to process during development, and mechanical aspects of the digestion process like how much it is broken down by chewing (!!). Of course it was discussing these things from the point of view of like, cows, but it was really striking to me that I'd never been taught about human digestion from this point of view, where digestion is a complex process that can be affected by various biological and environmental factors.

At the beginning of the class we did a lab where we went over feedstuff analysis, and this was the first time I'd learned about where the numbers in nutrition labels come from, the kind of tests that are done to break food down to its components.

The class discussed how the digestibility of food was analyzed by testing the food, feeding animals the food, collecting the feces, and doing the same tests on the fecal matter to determine how much of the starting nutritional content was literally just going out the other end.

This raised a lot of questions for me: I don't think Pop-Tarts are analyzed by confining a human volunteer to a small room and feeding them only Pop-Tarts, then doing lab tests on their poop. Does that mean we know even less about feeding humans than we do animals? At any rate, nutrition labels would have to be rough estimates to begin with, and then accounting for the variability in the way bodies process food, it's even less descriptive.

Now i'm in plant agriculture, and I'm learning about the different types of proteins and fats and what plants and/or animals they come from. There are different types of protein with different sources. There are...nine? I think? different amino acids that have to be consumed in the diet, and different foods contain different ones?? The reason combinations of grains and legumes are so common as staple diets throughout the world, is that this is closest to being nutritionally complete for humans???

And also protein supplements are mostly useless unless you're an Olympian or something, because the body doesn't have a way to store protein for later. If you eat protein and your body doesn't have an immediate use for it, it just gets taken apart in your liver and you pee it out. Sports greatly increase your need for energy far more than they increase your need for protein, but everyone thinks you should eat a ton of protein as an athlete and that carbohydrates are unhealthy.

I learned from the same chapter WHY fiber is important to help digestion (having texture to the stuff in your gut stimulates peristalsis which is the muscular movements that push things along).

I feel really weird and resentful about health textbooks and classes now, because it feels like they didn't want us to have the facts on how our bodies work, and instead just taught us to see certain foods as "good" or "bad," as though it was more important to be afraid of "unhealthy" food than to understand why food is needed. Health classes barely teach why food is needed.

Like, vegetables are seen as the quintessential "healthy" food, but what is traditionally seen as "vegetables" are mainly important because they provide micronutrients, fiber, and water (the water content in food is actually a big deal). There's a reason they aren't staple foods. You need carbohydrates and fats to live. Period.

I say "what is traditionally seen as vegetables" because it's an incoherent category nutritionally. Beans, sweet potatoes, and spinach are doing very different things for your body. Are beans even a vegetable? Clearly "comes from a plant" isn't the main criteria since grains, nuts, and fruits aren't considered vegetables.

So like, the "myplate" graphic (and the "food pyramid" that came before it)? Total bullshit basically.

It's really frustrating how writings on healthy eating assume you are probably already eating too much or are at risk of overeating. I learned very young about the harms of being "overweight" and eating too much of a certain nutrient. But I just realized from my reading in the plant agriculture class that I had never read a resource that teaches in the same detail about the harms of undernutrition.

It's so easy to fail to get the nutrients you need, holy shit. Particularly protein, because it isn't one thing, it's a bunch of different types of molecule pieces that are found in varying amounts in different foods. People who eat animal products or soy don't have to worry about it very much, since they are essentially complete in terms of protein, but if you are a vegan who doesn't/can't eat soy as a staple, you HAVE to be careful to eat a variety of foods that complement each other in terms of what they're lacking. There's something called the PDCAAS that rates each food by the amino acids they contain, but generally the best idea is to eat a bunch of grains and legumes.

I'm not saying that people can be "scared straight" out of developing eating disorders. But I am saying that young people can benefit from being exposed to scary information when they have the power to possibly encounter situations where that information is applicable. And the horrifying realization of what starvation is and does is such an information.

My plant agriculture text explained that carbohydrates and fats are the basic sources of energy under normal circumstances, and that it takes around 1,600 kcal per day to run your internal organs. Protein is only used for energy in unusual circumstances. When fat reserves are exhausted and there isn't any food, the body starts breaking down proteins for calories—and the first ones to go are the ones that are already all throughout the bloodstream, found in YOUR ANTIBODIES. That's right, when you run out of fat to burn off, your body starts EATING ITS OWN IMMUNE SYSTEM.

The plant agriculture book also says that digestion and energy needs vary from person to person, like literally when different people eat the same meal their blood sugar rises different amounts, and that how the body decides to store energy or use energy stores is determined by complicated feedback loops controlled by hormones. Meanwhile the average person thinks that it's a matter of "eat too much = get fat and unhealthy, eat less = lose weight and be healthier" and even the college health class I took used more or less this model.

Like people are walking around with this completely wrong idea of how their bodies work and making AWFUL decisions based upon it because the resources they have to educate them think it's more important to...make people afraid of food? I don't think it's even common knowledge that the body burns most of the calories you consume just from existing. I want to chew concrete.

Why don't we teach everyone in school why staple foods are staple foods?! Not even getting into people who are so deep into eating disorders they think carrots have too much sugar, it's so normal to do things like "cut out bread" or "cut out carbs" (????!??!) and to perceive hunger as an innately untrustworthy thing, when genuine success at dieting like this is a great way to Corn On The Kill Yourself.

I'm just kind of reeling right now at how much research and monitoring it would take to safely diet in the ways people constantly attempt to diet with NO research NO supervision NO medical testing, 100% believing that they are doing something good for their health.

If people aren't taught what a macronutrient is and why you will die without it, they will think celery sticks are a "healthy" substitute for a chocolate chip cookie, and then not understand why they feel like shit.

Also... this is slightly different, but it's connected to the problem of "people not understanding what food does to the body". In the animal agriculture class, it was surprising to me how in livestock animals, things like muscle and fat composition are strongly genetically determined. All the modern breeds of cattle, pigs, chickens, etc. used in corporate farming have been bred to be very lean and have very little fat while having huge amounts of muscle tissue, because that's what the modern consumer wants in meat.

With pigs, a lot of older heritage pig breeds were bred to store most of what they ate as fat, because pigs were used to change food waste into lard that could be added to cooking for flavor and calories. And most of these breeds either went extinct or dwindled severely to be replaced by "meat" breed pigs that don't put on very much fat at all.

With humans, "everyone knows" that the amount of fat and muscle in your body comes from what you eat and how much you exercise. But a feedlot-finished beef cow that spends the last several months of its life doing nothing but gorging itself on carbohydrates will stay lean and put on muscle because it's genetically predisposed to.

It violates common sense and yet a multi-billion-dollar industry revolves around cramming animals into a small area without much room to do anything, feeding the animals whatever crap has the most calories in it, and ending up with a lean, muscular carcass.

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Wanna see how Russians hunted civilian cars in Kyiv region in March 2022?

Surreal now that it was all happening some 15 km from where I lived and I followed the local chats crying that "People, don't evacuate by the road leading to Zhytomyrska highway! Russians are hiding among trees off road there and shooting down civilian cars!!" in real time - and now I can actually see it happening on recovered footage from street cameras. Surreal.

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normal vs disordered: fatigue edition

normal: feeling tired at the end of a long day

not normal: feeling tired regardless of what you’ve done that day

normal: waking up tired every now and then due to stress or lack of sleep

not normal: waking up tired most mornings

normal: getting a little tired after standing for long periods of time

not normal: not being able to stand for very long without tiring out. being stood up drains your energy

normal: being tired more often during times of peak stress and lack of sleep, but otherwise fine

not normal: being tired/exhausted consistently for over 6 months

normal: melting into the sofa after a long day, and then struggling a little to get up

not normal: being too exhausted to move, to eat, to talk, or to do anything a person might be expected to do in an evening

normal: not liking to get out of bed in the morning

not normal: having mornings where you physically cannot get out of bed, or struggle greatly to get out of bed

the key thing is that it is not normal for you to spend most of your time being too tired to do daily tasks, and it is not normal to exist in a constant state of exhaustion. if possible, you should seek help if you’ve been experiencing fatigue for a while

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Hey besties help a weird ND guy out

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tuulikki

Pretty much nothing short of immediate dramatic consequences can dera a hyperfixation episode for me. Other than that, I just don’t have the apparatus to stop—and that’s the next several hours of my life gone. Hyperfixation episodes feel kinda fun at the time but in retrospect the loss of control makes me feel really depressed. Not to mention the fact that it’s unhealthy to not eat, drink, or use the bathroom for long periods of time.

Like, I get people using “hyperfixation” as essentially a synonym for “hobby I’m soooo focused on! 🤪” but I’ve almost fainted in the library stacks and it’s a miracle I haven’t been fired from any jobs. Having a hobby/special interest fixation is fun; hyperfixation is not.

Wish I had any help for you, OP. I really do.

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lilietsblog

Environmental cues. It's way easier for me to work in the office than from home, because in the office my brain is aware of office things. The doorway effect where upon crossing into another room you forget what you were thinking right before, for me it works to transition to work mindset.

Working from home this is tougher and I get WAYYYY less work done in the same amount of time. Still, an approximation can be achieved with desktop windows: for example, i have my regular non work browser with all my tabs, and The Other Browser which does not save tabs between sessions and which i use when working. If I skip up and open non work things in it, they at least won't have get saved for next time.

Also, my brain is thankfully capable of hyperfixating on like... most things, and my work qualifies, if barely. That's the real reason I can do it at all.

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what you have to understand about kink at pride discourse and the reason people discuss it alongside discussions of transmisogyny and things like drag queen bans is that trans women are seen as sexually perverse, deviant, and engaging in fetish simply by existing as a woman in public, and your arguments of "no kink at pride because of the children" is the exact reasoning given behind banning public displays of transfemininity

btw reblog this

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gay-otlc

This pride month, remember that straight trans and genderqueer people, straight arospecs, straight acespecs, straight intersex people, and all other straight queer people are valuable members of the queer community, and being straight does not make them any less queer. Straight and queer are not mutually exclusive categories. Stop treating them as such.

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angrybell
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cwwhite75

Wow!!

Wow great story!!

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sindri42

A lot of people have talked about how the nazis lost WWII. Lots of them go on and on about how they made inefficient use of resources, how for example a Panzer tank could out-fight three Allied tanks, but they were so over-engineered, so expensive and difficult to make, that the Allies could field ten or more tanks to every one the nazis brought to bear. They talk about the crazy “superweapon” projects that cost huge piles of resources and never amounted to anything, and how many conventional weapons the nazis could have made if they put those resources to good use.

Very few of them will mention that those grand, expensive, engineering marvels that were the nazi Panzers had a funny tendency to break down and require repairs almost every single day.

Because, as it turns out, if your entire war machine relies on things being built by slave labour, by people who have watched their families and loved ones murdered and who fully expect to be executed themselves in the near future? The build quality on every single thing that ever comes out of those factories will be crap.

Meanwhile the allied war machines were built by people (almost exclusively women) who were decently paid, trained to take pride in their work, and were fighting to defend their homes and their families.

Suck on that force multiplier, nazis.

I remember reading one of Corrie Ten Boom's books, where she recounts being put to work in one of the women's prisons. As the daughter of a watchmaker she was tasked with making radios and at first went about her job utilizing all the skills she missed from her old life, until her supervisor gently corrected her by re-soldering a wire incorrectly, and she understood that she could still help with the Resistance.

For pedantry's sake, I need to point out that Corrie Ten Boom was herself a watchmaker - in fact, she was the first woman to formally qualify as a watchmaker in the Netherlands.

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argumate

the fact that we have a global economy but no way of coordinating it seems like one of the biggest challenges humanity faces, although arguably that’s just a corollary of our inability to coordinate anything else at the global level.

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raginrayguns

"the economy" is just the totality of people making trades, why do they need to be coordinated

"the economy" is the production and allocation of goods and services; a priori there's no reason why this process couldn't be made more efficient through coordination

ask the soviets how efficient things can be with central coordination

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jv

Well, you can say a lot of things about political repression and free speech, or the post WWII imperialist stance, of the Soviet Union and it would be fair criticism. But on the economic side of things? The Soviet Union may be one of the most resounding successes of the history of humanity, and I'm not even exaggerating: the soviets took a country that were basically a feudal agrarian society, with serfs and all, at the beginning of the 20th century and made it a global superpower that lasted most of the century. They went from a country with most its people at the brink of starvation almost continually to put the first person in space. When the Soviet Union fell, both the GDP and the quality of life of the new Russia fell dramatically, to the point that it didn't reach the value of 1989 again until 2010.

Life expectancy at birth increased DRAMATICALLY in the Soviet Russia, and actually went down for two decades just after the fall of the Soviet Union, not being until the 2010s that started to rise again:

For comparison, this is the US:

Just before the Soviet revolution, life expectancy in Russia was just at 35 years, 40% lower than the value of the US at the time. 40 years after that, both countries had the same life expectancy.

So no... The Soviet Union was horrific in lots of senses. Economy-wise?? They aced it, for the most part. It would be hard to find a country at any point in history that actually doubled its life expectancy in 40 years like they did.

I think the dramatic jump in life expectancy in Russia and China after 1950 certainly demonstrates how a strong centralised modern state in peacetime with access to antibiotics and vaccines can do enormously better than a poor feudal state wracked by war, and of course we see similar improvements over in Japan and Korea and Taiwan in the second half of the 20th century as well.

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lilietsblog

Soviet Union didn’t have washing machines in the 90s.

Soviet Union had grain rotting in the fields and food deficits.

Soviet Union had deficits of everything except for the things the warehouses were pointlessly full of with no way to use them.

Sure, Soviet Union had its early successes, plucking the low hanging fruit. But then the problems of centralized economy kicked in.

Like, when you have one guy on top, for things to work well this guy has to know everything, understand everything and pay attention to everything. Oh, and actually care about and understand his job well.

When you don’t have a decentralized immediate feedback mechanism, the centralized feedback mechanism is going to produce the weirdest results. Like, Soviet Union had this thing where it had a “plan” (five year plan is most famous but there were quarterly plans etc), and it was a virtue to outperform the plan. Nevermind that if you’re making airplanes and you have twice as much of one specific airplane part but not of every other part you aren’t going to have twice as much airplanes, you’re going to have a mass of completely useless airplane parts.

When everything is centralized, you cannot quickly make immediately rational and reasonable decisions on location. You have your orders and your plan, and if you want to change anything, you have to either kick it upstairs and wait for permission, or risk your career and considering it’s the Soviet Union, your life and your family’s life. And this applies on every intermediate decision making level, meaning EVERYONE’s safe option is to kick it upstairs up to that one guy on top who needs to know everything, understand everything and pay attention to everything.

(This means innovation is stifled to near zero, except in the specific areas the guy on top is paying attention to)

(And in those specific areas you might get half a country’s worth of utterly destroyed land/climate because the guy misunderstood something and no-one below him had the authority to say no)

Like... no. Centralization works well on some small scale, but there’s a point where it becomes detrimental instead, and Soviet Union was way, way beyond that point.

Source: PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY LIVED IN THE PLACE

oh yeah my entire text above presumes well intentioned actors juggling common interest and personal incentives, in the idealized scenario of gay luxury space communism filled entirely with nice friends

it gets way way funnier once you take into account that some people want to hurt others on purpose, and how much easier a centralized system makes it so long as you know how to climb the hierarchy

it really gets HILARIOUS

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gender-trash

the thing nobody fucking warns you about is that once you know literally anything about sewing or how clothes are constructed it immediately becomes impossible to buy clothes because 90+% of newly produced clothes that you can actually look at in a physical store are just hot fucking garbage. like what is even the point of buying something made of thin polyester blend with a shit ton of exposed lazily serged seams on the inside and weirdly large armscyes? its completely unrepairable and also not worth repairing because it’s designed to be disposable and half its flaws are unfixable without essentially re-sewing the garment from scratch and the other half are a ticking time bomb where no structural element is expected to last past the first failure. no fucking wonder nobody bothers learning to sew buttons or darn in this day and age!! theres no damn point because the rest of the garment is totally fucked by the time it becomes needed! *i am gently escorted out of the department store, frothing at the mouth*

but you watch enough historical costuming videos and its just like. “+1 skill acquired: making your own clothes! good luck, you’ll definitely be using it from now on :)”

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aeide-thea

#in hindsight if i had known this would get 12k notes i would have put in a sentence or two about sweatshop labor #its not 'lazily' serged its people with an incredibly difficult and taxing job trying to get as much piecework done as they can

#i dont know if people know this bc i sure didnt until i got into sewing but: industrial sewing machines are #the height of sewing automation. every seam on a $15 t-shirt or a $25 Something from shein was fed through a serger by a human person #which is BONKERS but also kinda… makes sense. #car mfg is easy to automate bc car parts are rigid and easy to reliably and consistently grasp and they dont change that often #clothes are being CONSTANTLY updated and theyre made of FABRIC which is a robot arm's natural enemy #but people want cheap clothes!! and so the thing that is being relentlessly optimized away is paying the humans involved in the process

#similarly you know how theres knitting machines? #crochet machines arent a thing. every ~boho crochet top~ made of granny squares was made by sweatshop labor #a lot of mfg processes are STUNNINGLY manual in countries where the time and labor of humans is cheap

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