I need everyone to work together on this. Okay. If you're not familiar with Wicked but are maybe going to see the movie, let me entice you: Wicked is SO GAY. Elphaba and Galinda literally have a song about how much they hate each other that is a mock love song. They are not normal about each other. Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande have clearly not only leaned into this judging by the trailer clips, but highlighted it, elevated it, and brought these two to sapphic heights never before seen in a movie of this budget.
It's time. It's time for an incredibly annoying femme ship. I want people to talk about Gelphie in the same breath they talk about Spock/Kirk or Harry/Draco. I want them to be EVERYWHERE. I want sitcoms to make jokes about the weird little 16-year-old daughter being really into Gelphie fanfiction. I want to hate these two. I want my eyes to roll to the back of my head whenever I see them. I want unskilled fanart to absolutely DROWN the internet. It's 2024. It's time for an Exhausting Lesbian Ship.
Please. Come with me. Think of what we can do. Together.