Azarix

Aiden: I thought I asked you to watch them.

Young Eli: I did.

Aiden, points at an injured Landon: Really?

Eli: Yeah.

Eli: I watched him jump off the roof and break his arm.

Aiden:

Knox: Ronan.

Ronan: Yes?

Knox: Why are you lying underneath the Christmas tree?

Ronan: Because I am a gift to all of you.

Teal, in the other room: You tell em, love!

Interviewer: Would you say you're independent?

Ronan: *Looks at Teal*

Teal: *Nods*

Ronan: Yes, definitely.

Teal: Why are you standing on the table?

Ronan: I'm a grown man and I can stand wherever I want, thank you very much.

Teal: ... Where's the spider?

Ronan, quietly: It's under the table.

Ronan: *loud sigh*

Teal: Ronan, what's wrong?

Ronan: You haven't looked at me for ten minutes.

Teal: ....We're watching a movie.

Ronan: DID I ASK FOR AN EXCUSE?

Xander: Right, who do we know has handcuffs?

Ronan: Well, Teal and I-

Teal: *glares at Ronan*

Ronan: ... Wouldn't know.

Xander: *yelling*

Ronan: *yelling back*

Cole, walking in: What are they yelling about?

Aiden: They're blaming each other for eating the last of the snacks.

Cole: Of course! Which one did it?

Aiden, smirking: Me.

Ronan, flirting with Teal: I don't have a library card but mind if I check you out?

Teal: Come with me.

Ronan: *smirks*

Ronan: Wait, where are we going?

Teal: To get you a library card.

Aiden: My wife looks so good right now.

Ronan, looking around: Is Elsa here?

Aiden: No. But I just know.

[Teal telling Ronan she's pregnant]

Teal: I have a present for you.

Ronan: And where is it?

Teal: In my belly...

Ronan: You ate my present Teal?

Teal: *glares*

Ronan: Hold on! I'm having one of those things....a headache with pictures?

Xander: What the fuck?

Aiden: He has an idea.

Kimberly: Will he be okay?

Cole: It's hard to say. Ronan has never had one before.

Cole: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Silver: Uhhh... Sure?

Cole: Thou art hot as fuck.

Teal: Sorry, I suppose sometimes I can be abit bossy.

Aiden: Suppose?

Xander: Sometimes?

Cole: Abit?

Ronan: I value my life too much to contribute to this conversation.

Ronan, extremely drunk: *points to Teal* That's my girlfriend, suckers!

Lars, quietly: Your wife, Sir.

Ronan: My wife! EVEN BETTER!

Teal, mumbling to herself: You asked for this! You said yes!

Ronan, finding Remi lying face down on the floor: You okay?

Remi: I'm depressed.

Ronan: LOL, same.

Ronan: No wait-hi depressed, I'm dad.

Ronan: No-wait-what's wrong?

Teal: I relate to Belle, because she loves to read books and loves people for their souls.

Ronan: I relate to TinkerBell, because she needs attention or she dies.

Jonathan: Levi, where's Aiden?

Levi, smirking: Oh, his playing with himself.

Jonathan: He's what?

[The scene cuts to Aiden playing a game of chess in his room by himself]