On the whole "deciding whether you are LGBTQ" thing ... I mean, people who only partly identify with a gender different from their assigned gender can decide to not identify as trans too, but they have every right to claim this label. Does that make them not LGBTQ because they could choose not to count as trans? No, obviously not. They are. (1/2)
Also I think that everyone that’s not heterosexual + heteroromantic counts as LGBTQ. There’s a lot of ace and aro erasure going on, most people don’t even know these romantic/sexual orientations exist! Being asexual is NOT being heterosexual. Being aromantic is not being heteroromantic. Not being sexually or romantically attracted to anyone is NOT being straight! It’s something else and something people get a lot of shit for so I think (my personal opinion ofc!!!) they belong to LGBTQ. (2/2)
on the gender thing- that’s true, but they don’t want to claim the trans label for whatever reason but still aren’t cis, don’t experience cis privilege, and are still lgbt. also i’m pretty sure i just said using trans people as props for your arguments is objectifying and unacceptable.
straight= exclusively attracted to the “opposite” gender. you’re redefining straight to try to force your way into the lgbt community and that’s not ok. obviously aces aren’t heterosexual (unless they’re ace-spec). same for aros. a heteroromantic ace or an aromantic heterosexual is straight.
tbh i’m not sure if aro aces are straight (i take back what i said earlier about aro aces). they’re still not lgbt. like i said earlier, the lgbt community is a gathering of sga/trans communities to fight for rights. it’s a group with a specific history and specific oppression that aro aces do not share with us.
what resources are you trying to get by forcing your way into the lgbt community? material, tangible resources. lgbt kids need shelters when they’re kicked out, scholarships, suicide lifelines, etc. lgbt-specific resources like these are crucial. if you aren’t sga or trans, you don’t need lgbt-specific resources because you can have literally anything else.
the lgbt community isn’t a club that you can’t come into. it’s not a 100% supportive, nice, fun hugbox. it’s a political move by a handful of communities with a shared history to get rights and resources. if you aren’t sga/trans, you’re not lgbt. you don’t need the community. we do.
getting shit for something =/= lgbt. if that were the case, women, people with disabilities, POC, etc. people would be inherently lgbt. clearly, that’s not the case.
i know ace people get shit sometimes. i’m sorry. for real. but acephobia is not systematic oppression. there are no laws/have never been laws against your existence, your right to marry, etc. people thinking you’re weird (and even more extreme things, like assault) are not the result of systematic oppression.
- jay
As an ace myself, I need to acknowledge with what Mod Jay is saying here. While I don’t entirely agree with everything, we (the ace community) do need to acknowledge that we do not receive the same oppression as sga or trans people do. Mod Jay isn’t calling het ace/aros straight as if he’s insulting them. He’s saying that they experience the same privilege as straight people. He is not saying that you don’t receive any oppression at all. He is not denying that you, as an asexual or aromantic person, has never experienced any sort of hate geared towards your orientation. If you have, you have, and we are not telling you that you haven’t! However, aces/aros do not receive the same oppression as pga/trans people do! Repeating what Jay has said, “There have never been laws against your existence, your right to marry, etc. People thinking your orientation (asexual/aromantic) is unusual is not the result of systematic oppression.”
I’m very sorry if anything we have said might’ve upset you. We are not against aces/aros at all. You are very much welcomed on our blog. However, please be aware that it’s not very nice to speak over pga/trans people if you do not identify as one yourself. If you disagree with us in any way, there is nothing stopping you from unfollowing us! We do not wish to argue. These are simply our own views.
Thank you!
- Derek