I just realized that in the long goodbye job there was a giveaway for the "cop" in the story, the codename! They almost always use doctor who references when playing cops and when he answers the call he says "baker 12"

Almost Paradise S2E7

I fucking cackled when this happened

Bonus Reaction

Hardison: So look, I’ll casually mention “Star Trek”. Eliot: Great. ‘cause that comes up a lot. Hardison: It does!

Leverage reference by John Kim in The Librarians’ gag reel.

Burn Notice. [S1.E1: Pilot.]

This is legitimately how I’ve broken into a thousand places like just act like you’re meant to be there and if someone actually ends up calling you out on it just be super confused

#I would be an excellent pentester and actually have considered it as a job many a time#when I was a kid (7-14ish) my grandmother was in the hospital a lot and I was a bored kid that no one was really watching#and we spent days and days at the hospital over the course of those years#so I’d wander around and it became a challenge to see where it could get into without gettting caught#and the answer is basically everywhere#like ther is no legit reason for an 11 year old to be in the morgue but I was tall for my age and I would carry a cup of coffee#and look irritated to be there like someone woke me up for this#and no one would question me#people would ask where are you headed and if you just exhaustedly point through a security door 97% of the time they will swipe their card#-and open it for you

I want to add that I don’t make a habit of this now that I am a law abiding adult, but recently I accidentally did this again. Having been used to having my run of hospitals and walking basically anywhere as a child, I was visiting a friend in the hospital just before covid and I was legitimately exhausted and carrying a coffee cup cuz it was like 5:30am or something dumb, and I went to leave and get to the bottom floor and i’m like “this is not the lobby” and I walked around for a bit and people kept holding doors for me so I traveled through many corridors, and nothing looked familiar, and then I realized every single door was a key card swipe and everyone had mag-stripe badges with varying security levels and I realized I had gotton onto a staff elevator with the staff, who had swiped their card to go down into a high-security area of the building, and people had just been letting me through all these security doors.

So then I had to out myself and be like “Um I accidentally broke into you high-security wing, please show me the door, I’m literally just trying to leave this hospital” and I had to get like searched and stuff. 

And what was funny was that while I was blissfully walking around assuming I belonged, No one questioned ANYTHING and in fact, were violating protocols left and right to let me through, but the VERY SECOND I realized I was not where I was supposed to be and let that show on my face, like three people in the hall confronted me. 

So the take away is, be confident that you belong, look exhausted and like you don’t want to be there, and carry a cup of coffee. It will open pretty much all doors.

@clutchkuza I feel like you need to hear this lol

No joke, Burn Notice is a great show. If you like Leverage, give Burn Notice a try (its available on Hulu and Prime iirc) and frfr, confidence and an excuse are all you need to get around places

This works I accidentally broke into someone’s whole ass home a month or so ago and uhhh it went fine because I’m short white and VERY CONFUSED

One time while I was in Rome, I was busy admiring the ruins and not paying attention to signage, got lost, and ended up in some kind of archaeological dig or restoration. Not knowing it was off-limits (having missed all signage, as previously stated), I started peeking around all the stone stuff, wandering off the path, and most importantly (to this story), poking around in a hole that had been dug into the ground. I was careful not to touch anything, but still, clearly (to anyone who wasn’t as oblivious as me) this was not a place a tourist was meant to be.

I finally attracted the notice of someone who was meant to be part of this restoration project when I came back up from the hole. He quickly came over to ask me, in Italian, what I’m sure were the very normal questions of “Who are you?”, “What are you doing here??”, etc.

Problem: I do not speak Italian.

My brain’s solution: Quick, what language do we speak that’s close?! 

And that is how I wandered up out of a hole in a Roman ruin without warning and began speaking ancient Latin to an archaeologist.

This man’s face went through 15 different absolutely floored expressions in ten seconds, like you could physically see him going through the thought process of “Have I encountered a ghost from ancient Rome? No, ghosts aren’t real. But if ghosts not real, how Latin??? Fellow researcher??? Supposed to be here???”

So this is the story of how I was allowed to walk away without issue at all after blatantly trespassing upon the ruins of ancient Rome, because if you speak Latin, where else would you belong?

So, let me guess– you just started a new book, right? And you’re stumped. You have no idea how much an AK47 goes for nowadays. I get ya, cousin. Tough world we live in. A writer’s gotta know, but them NSA hounds are after ya 24/7. I know, cousin, I know. If there was only a way to find out all of this rather edgy information without getting yourself in trouble…

You’re in luck, cousin. I have just the thing for ya.

It’s called Havocscope. It’s got information and prices for all sorts of edgy information. Ever wondered how much cocaine costs by the gram, or how much a kidney sells for, or (worst of all) how much it costs to hire an assassin?

I got your back, cousin. Just head over to Havocscope.

((PS: In case you’re wondering, Havocscope is a database full of information regarding the criminal underworld. The information you will find there has been taken from newspapers and police reports. It’s perfectly legal, no need to worry about the NSA hounds, cousin ;p))

Want more writerly content? Follow maxkirin.tumblr.com!

Assassins

“Below are selected prices that are paid to professional assassins by criminal organizations and drug cartels for a contract hit.

In Australia, the median price to hire a hit man is $13,610 (9,800 Euros), with the price going up to $83,000 (60,000 Euros) based on the task.

In Mexico, the cost for a low level assassin is $208 (150 Euros), and up to $20,832 (15,000 Euros) for a higher profile target like a police chief.

The prices paid in Argentina are between $3,749 (2,700 Euros) to $5,555 (4,000 Euros) per hit.

Government statistics in Spain state that 40 assassinations take place each year, with prices for the hit ranging between $27 (20 Euros) to $69,000 (50,000 Euros).”

So cheap! I always thought things like this would cost more than $1 million…

This is super useful to know!

and not just for writing!!

@katherine-rose

HOLY FUCK

HOW MANY HOURS HAVE I WASTED TRYING TO FIND HEROIN PRICES ON THE INTERNET WHAT A GREAT DATABASE

I needed this

Actually useful. Sometimes incognito isn’t enough.

For my leverage geeks-

@jack-the-bear @what—i-dated-a @cheshasleverage @letsstealsomethiefjuice @no-stabbing-wednesdays @theforcedfamilyjob @thieves-never-say-die @leverage-ot3

remember, this is for a DOOR lock.

remember that when picking a DOOR lock, you have to apply a little bit of pressure to your tension wrench (the thing that you use to turn the knob). too little or too much and you wont be able to pick the door open. you can use anything for the tension wrench. a bobby pin. bits of wire. a paper clip. etc.

its best to be completely silent when youre picking locks bc theres this small ‘click’ when youre picking that you might miss if youre using headphones or listening to music.

.

if youre picking one of these

you jam something thin and long above one of the rotation dials and you push up on the shackle.

. if its one of these

you get yourself some shims. (or make one. you can make shims out of fucking soda cans), you wiggle them in the tiny space between the shackle and the body of the lock, and you pop these suckers open.

. for a chain deadbolt,

you get something flexible but sturdy and you just push this fucker down

. for one of these rotating combination locks

you can also shim this motherfucker open. jam your shims between the shackle and the body and pry it unlocked. if, for some reason, you dont wanna shim it open, maybe you dont have a shim or you just like a challenge, this bitch can be decoded ridiculously easy. heres what you do:

spin this bitch to the right about two or three times to “reset” it. then you pull up on the shackle a bit, and turn it right slowly until you hear a click. your number is two spaces further. then you turn left 360 degrees until you land on the right number again, and start turning this motherfucker left until it stops. when it stops, turn right. if its loose, its the wrong number, keep going left. if its not loose, you have the right number, and you turn right all the way until this bitch pops

.

now you know how to pick several common locks!!!!! congratulations!!!!

don’t mind me im just reblogging

Yall need to look up the Lock Picking Lawyer on YouTube too, he’s amazing.

His videos are always so blazé, like ‘here’s yet another fucking disappointing lock to pick’ and he’s so good.

@cackledaddy

just for your viewing interest

Completely innocent reblog

The most non suspicious reblog