so i'm re-binging Leverage and is it just me or does it seem like whenever they have to be celebrities for a con none of them actually become mildly famous except for Eliot

I feel like there is an alignment here...

nate- does not want to be famous, does not become famous

sophie- kind of wants to be famous, does not become widely famous (exception: becoming beloved first lady of san lorenzo and gets her face on a bill). knows that becoming famous would hinder her ability to con

hardison- wants to be famous for the meme, does not become famous (though not for lack of trying)

parker- does not want to be famous, does not become famous

eliot- does NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE want to be famous, frequently becomes famous

I've seen people talk about it before on here, about how eliot is good at virtually everything and that would be tired really quick if not for the fact that he doesn't show off about it (for the most part) and VEHEMENTLY does not want to be famous or acknowledged for those skills. he very much wants to stay under the radar, which is why it is funnier and a better running gag that he keeps getting famous against his will

bonus: parker and hardison continually use whatever power they have to make eliot's aliases famous. they keep entering his various aliases in cooking shows and stuff like that because they think it is funny when he gets all huffy about it (and they know despite his moaning and groaning he likes being able to do things he's good at that doesn't involve violence!)

#yes he enjoys the fame in the three strikes job BUT it's short lived and he doesn't want to be famous long term#remember in the one ep when he's like i'm wanted by X states and govts I can't have my picture floating around#that right there is why it's even better when he DOES become famous

Hardison: despite what you people think I do not control the internet.

Also Hardison: I'm making a commercial to sell Eliot as a baseball player

What if Eliot and Hardison posed as a couple for a con

They have to kiss

And then they go, hey wait, that was nice actually, what's happening

Maggie is so goddamn funny

Nate's like, don't worry, I never slept with Sophie when we were together

And she's like, it's fine, I didn't fuck your very sexy friend Sterling, either

just guys being dudes (singing about being good ol’ boys behind the wheel chasing down bad guys in lucille)

y'all ever think about the fake psychic mark that made parker cry and eliot's response was "I'll kill that guy for you"

No vanilla extract because my recipe doesn't call for it.

[Image ID: Tumblr reply from @aspirationatwork reading: You should make whatever the poll turns out to be /End ID]

Oh I 100% plan to

I’d like to clarify in this recipe the lemon juice is used as leavening, not flavoring. That combined the the amount of baking powder and soda means i will place the loaf pan in a 9x13 pan before putting it in the oven

[ID: #well the lemon juice is going to be flavoring now.]

(via @arceusbeta)

Hows the cake going?

Im waiting for my roommates to go to sleep so they don’t witness my madness

Ingredient Measurements

*you have until my roommates finish watching shark tank to tell me I did the math wrong*

Im gonna make a version with and without the salt so we can revel in all the lemon juice

Roommates are asleep, let’s bake

Off to a a strong start with butter and sugar

[Image IDs: Image #1: a yellow bowl some sugar, butter, and black fork in it. Image #2: the same bowl, but with the sugar and butter mixed together /End ID]

Banana and egg have made it kinda soupy, which wouldn’t be a problem in a normal recipe, but with the small amount of flour I don’t think this will end well.

[Image ID: the same yellow bowl with a soupy, yellow mix inside. /End ID]

Behold 1/2+ cups of lemon juice

[Image ID: a small orange bowl 3/4 of the way full with lemon juice /End ID]

Very soupy with the milk and lemon juice in

[Image ID: yellow bowl with a thin, yellow mixture in it /End ID]

Salt!

[Image ID: Small blue bowl with a large pile of salt in it /End ID]

When I mixed the dry and wet ingredients, it immediately started bubbly up and was audibly hissing. It formed a surprisingly normal batter, besides the bubbles. Normal thickness.

[Image ID/ a bubbly, tan batter in a yellow bowl /End ID]

[Image ID: the same batter in a loaf pan lined with parchment paper /End ID]

Only one side has salt, but I was in such a hurry to get it in the oven before the bubbles ran out that I can’t remember which side

I trimmed the top of the parchment paper so it wouldn't burn, and I tasted a bit of the cooked batter, and yeah I know what side is salted now

About halfway through cooking. It’s sunken down some in the middle

[Image ID: loaf pan lined with parchment paper in an oven. There is partially cooked batter inside, slightly lower in the middle than on the sides /End ID]

There’s a smell in the kitchen from the banana bread. I can’t quite describe it. Almost smells like normal banana bread but then there’s just this hint of something foul

Took about an hour to cook, which is what my recipe normally does. Little over done on top, and the middle has really sunken down. Trying it once it cools down.

[Image ID: parchment paper lined loaf pan with a dark loaf in it and a fork /End ID]

I poked at it a bit with a fork before trying it, and it looked like the banana parts kinda separated out. Had a similar texture to normal banana bread.

Taste wise, I spit both sides out within seconds of putting them in my mouth and then washed out my mouth with water and then mt dew.

Was too busy getting the flavor out of my mouth to pay attention to whether or not I could taste the lemon. Honestly there wasn’t a bit difference in taste between salt and no salt

Banana bread is now in the trash and I’m hoping the smell dissipates before my roommates wake up. Overall, happy I decided to wait until everyone was asleep before making it

we all agree the tap out job was really extra right. like its one of my favorites but the rest of the leverage crew couldn't handle the idea of eliot throwing a fight so hard that they planted six thousand dollars worth of guns and ammunition and a saxophone on a guy and also tricked him into thinking he'd witnessed a murder

#eliot: guys it’s fine#the team: nOOOOOOOOOO ELIOT WE WILL NEVER MAKE YOU LOSE A FIGHT FOR US#eliot: guys I promise it’s f-#the team: so we’re gonNA FRAME [him] FOR MURDER#*john mulaney voice* via leverage-ot3

leverage au but they’re all demigods that don’t know their teammates are demigods too and it’s like the rashomon job except with finding out they’re all not mortal (chaos ensues)

nate- son of athena

sophie- daughter of hecate

parker- daughter of hermes

hardison- son of hestia OR son of hephestus

eliot- son of heracles

in light of the percy jackson series being released, I'm bringing this post back and adding the tags I wrote for everyone to see:

#I have SO MANY headcanons and ideas like. just ask. pls. I just need to know people are interested to movtivate me. reblog comment or send#asks#another leverage au? I didn’t see that coming yet here we are (*jaskier voice*)#other headcanons adjacent to this: nate doesn’t have a belly button#because he was born out of athenas forehead lol#you can take hardison son of hestia out of my COLD DEAD HANDS. he is a homemaker at heart. his tech and hacking skills are his own.#I know the most logical choice for hardison is hephestus but I just love hestia to bits okay#the more I think about it I’d probably be a daughter of hestia or maybe hecate so sue me my faves are their offspring too#I didn’t want to make eliot a son of ares so I didn’t send tweet#*pointing to daughter of hecate sophie* I just think it’s neat#I very lowkey headcanon sophie to either come from a line of hunters or a line of witches or something like that. I just get supernatural#and/or otherworldly vibes from her#hermes seeing his daughter being the best thief in the world: *crying and wiping away a tear* tHaTs mY GiRL#a quiet voice in the back of my head: parker hardison and eliot are the fates#me holding back from writing a paper on male bisexuality and polyamory in Ancient Greece and the contrast of near-invisibility of#sapphicness (aside from sappho herself) in ancient greek society#this was inspired by me looking for possible notable romantic polyamorous triads in Ancient Greece but I couldn’t find any

eliot being on nanas shit list like WHAT DID YOU DO ELIOT. is it really because you left early last year and nana being mad as hell so if you dont want pie last year, guess this year you wont want pie either. like. nana specifying that these pies are for BRE and PARKER, and eliot out here being iced out

“I’ll tell you something, I wrote this particular scene at 2 o’clock in the morning in my kitchen and I wrote ‘age of the geek, brother’ and I started crying at my counter. It was one of those moments where I’m like, am I really writing this scene?” - John Rogers, The Long Goodbye Job DVD Commentary

I know that I’m afflicted But who could have predicted The monster that I’ve become

I’m not sure what I want more

mcsweeten being in leverage redemption and still having not a clue that parker and hardison are, in fact, not federal agents and are actually world-class criminals

or at some point between the finale and now he did find out, and then some government official gets wind of one of their heists and is jabbing their finger at a blurry image of parker and hardison mid-thievery and with a completely straight face, mcsweeten explains that guys, those are agents hagen and thomas and they are working on an undercover op and were in no way at all involved of what is inconveniencing the government now

and the government official keeps trying to explain they are criminals but mcsweeten just pulls up their dossiers and credentials and he can literally see the vein throbbing in the man’s forehead but he just smiles says that he has personally worked with agent hagen and would trust her with his life

look all I’m saying is that I manifested fbi director todd mcsweeten and every like and reblog to this post was adding energy to the manifestation

Wait hear me out

What if our favorite top dog at interpol told him? A fan fic idea. A buddy cop between McSweeten and Sterling. Just fucking helping cover up the leverage team so they dont get caught.

Think about it?? Like they have friends in high places people!! The friends of my friends are my friends!!

McSweeten is genuinely enamored with the team helping pick up where he can't get involved and Sterling just keeps owing a certain retired insurance investor favors. Eventually ending with "just keep Parker and her team and my Sophie safe now. You will be around much longer than i will." His final favor as Nate will die a couple years after without speaking to him again.

#sterling & mcsweeten#they are buddies idk what to tell you#they go out for brunch when they are in the same city and catch up on their friends' thieving hijinks#'did you hear that sophie got reconnected with her technical adoptive daughter' 'omg I'm so happy for her'#'did you hear that hardison is in space??? he sent me cool space pictures' 'im sorry he's WHAT'#you just KNOW there is a vein throbbing in sterling's forehead. dear god his kid in law is in SPACE WTF#he's gonna get a heart attack from his enstranged adoptive family he swears to god

I’m not sure what I want more

mcsweeten being in leverage redemption and still having not a clue that parker and hardison are, in fact, not federal agents and are actually world-class criminals

or at some point between the finale and now he did find out, and then some government official gets wind of one of their heists and is jabbing their finger at a blurry image of parker and hardison mid-thievery and with a completely straight face, mcsweeten explains that guys, those are agents hagen and thomas and they are working on an undercover op and were in no way at all involved of what is inconveniencing the government now

and the government official keeps trying to explain they are criminals but mcsweeten just pulls up their dossiers and credentials and he can literally see the vein throbbing in the man’s forehead but he just smiles says that he has personally worked with agent hagen and would trust he with his life

Government official: "OK, fine, Agent McSweeten, let's assume for the moment that these people are, in fact, FBI agents pursuing a case. This man who they are working with is unmistakably Eliot Spencer, an extremely dangerous criminal. Surely we can all agree that we need to intervene before your colleagues get hurt."

Agent McSweeten: "Oh, that's an easy mistake. Roy's been mistaken for Spencer multiple times--that's how he met Agents Hagan and Thomas! But that's actually Roy Chappell. He used to be a minor-league baseball player..." *McSweeten pulls out a limited-edition Roy Chappell baseball card* "...but he retired years ago to go into the restaurant business. I mean, you can see he's got a catering set-up right there in your photos. He's an amazing cook, too! I almost wish I was on that case, 'cause the food's gonna be great!"

government official: *shows mcsweeten the dramatic case photo eliot canonically has (shown in the experimental job)*

mcsweeten, who went to their wedding last fall and was one of parker’s maids of honor,

who also regularly gets easy-to-make recipes sent from eliot ever since he offhandedly mentioned that being deputy director means little time to do things like shower and sleep and eat,

who gets monthly *anonymous* emails from definitely not hardison about bad guys and criminals that should be on the fbi’s watchlist:

I Don’t Know What You’re Talking About

“one of the top comments reads: ‘before anyone adds their verdict, I feel the need to point out OP owns a restaurant’” - @littlebigmouse

amazing

Imagine you’re some big time lawyer for a multinational, multimillion dollar company and you’re walking into court to defend your company against charges for crimes they absolutely committed. And you’re thinking to yourself, “I’m a big time lawyer for a multinational, multimillion dollar company— I can win this case in my sleep and if I can’t, I can always buy it out.” And you walk into court on the first day of trial thinking you’ve got this in the bag, thinking there’s no way you could lose. And you walk into the court room, and you approach the bench. And you’re confronted with fucking Jimmy Papadopoulos. And he WINS.

Via @leverage-ot3

Babe.

sterling is so funny because the leverage crew gives him endless grief and they snark at him and he snarks back but god forbid some other department wants to jail them or something because excuse me that’s his group of bothersome thieves and no one can touch them except him

#idk I just want sterling to be at the ot3s wedding as a joke invite but when he’s asked if he’s going he snatches the invitation and is like #NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS and then proceeds to get a thoughtful wedding gift #or a joke one your choice

The wedding gift is the location and specs of an obscenely high-tech kitchen gadget that actually does something really useful. He doesn't give them the item, of course--if they want it, they have to come steal it from him. Said gadget is inside multiple nested safes (some computerized, some purely mechanical), inside a secure vault, inside a building with a good security system. There are a handful of not-particularly-assiduous guards (you know, just enough for Eliot to feel like he's needed, without him having to actually work on his honeymoon). There are elaborate gratuitous laser grids both inside and outside of the vault. Each one has a conspicuously laser-free area just large enough to hold two deck chairs and a mini-cooler of beer and orange soda.

In the innermost safe, next to the gadget, are three feedback forms and a pre-addressed, stamped envelope so they can critique the security measures at their leisure. Mr. Quinn is waiting to "catch" them on the way out to ensure Eliot gets one satisfying, low-stakes fight out of this job. (There are, again, two convenient deck chairs nearby, but this time the cooler is stocked with orange soda and chocolate milk.)