Hardison: What are you trying to say? I’m not exciting? What is it?

Eliot: That’s not what I’m saying. If I said that, then that means I would be thinking about you and Parker, which I never do.

Hardison: Than say what you need to say. What are you saying?

it’s the girls night out job (lev 4x13) and parker isn’t interested in fighting robots. it sounds loud.

but she’s concerned that she’s supposed to want to go. supposed to like his interests even if they are compeltely different from her interests. you know, normal-people stuff. like book clubs and brunch and sorta-dates with your sorta-boyfriend.

and the thing is. mattingly is a guy who likes all the same stuff parker does. a thief like her. but he’s not fun. his cons are second-story. he doesn’t care about anything but his next score. he couldn’t even operate a thumb drive. just reads hi for filth and laughs in his face when he tries to offer her 20% of the take. after she did all the work!

and yeah, maybe the short con’s not her a-game. but that’s okay, because she has a team backing her up. sophie and tara’s mentoring telling her to swipe the cocktail dress. hardison’s tech insight about the picture frame. eliot’s fighting lessons when mattingly grabs her arm. even peggy’s willing to throw down with the bomb-planting waiter. because despite everything she thinks has happened tonight, she’s still parker’s alice’s friend. 

because yeah, she’s not big on parties. doesn’t like loud events. she plays by a different set of rules. parker doesn’t need—or want—someone just like herself. she wants people in her life who fill in all the spaces she doesn’t have access to. who can teach, mentor, care about, and protect her. 

the same is boring. and just because her idea of fun isn’t the same as hardison’s. it doesn’t make her uninteresting or her life unexciting.

but then it’s also the boys night out job (lev 4x14) and hardison’s trying to prove something to himself about manhood and relationships. 

because parker’s out with tuxedo guy craig mattingly when she’s supposed to be out with her friend parker. and he’s a thief. a good one. with strikingly good features and a squared-up jaw and wait, where does that leave geek boy hardison?

so he’s not feeling very confident. is parker his girl? he’s been trying with robot fights and video games and chocolate festivals and pedicures. but there’s something missing. and damn the tux because it’s the age of the geek, baby, and shouldn’t that be enough. isn’t he enough?

and since eliot’s apparently along for hardison’s self-esteem crisis he tries to give him advice. if hardison’s so worried about the tux then he can get suited up too. light some candles. put the video games down. be a romantic and sweep parker off her feet.

the problem is. hardison’s not listening. he’s talking over eliot and only hearing what he wants to hear. it’s the worst pep talk ever because hardison’s the computer geek. and cool thieves—cool hitters too!—they don’t want to hang out with him. they don’t need him. he’s not exciting.

and the thing is. what eliot’s actually trying to say is the exact opposite of that. parker’s the cool thief. hardison’s the cool computer geek. but also he’s definitely not thinking about them that way. hardison and parker. in a relationship. being cool together.

sure eliot. this is after all right after the office job (lev 4x12). it’s also happening concurrenty with the girl’s night out job (lev 4x13). which means eliot’s still dealing with all his complicated sandwich feelings. 

because the thing is. eliot’s invested in hardison and parker’s relationship succeeding. he might not be in on the pretzels code, but he wants there to be pretzels. he also wants to be pretzels. except he’s fighting it. cause that’s not the way the world works. that’s not normal-people stuff. 

food metaphors aside, eliot’s still hardison’s friend. and he continues to try and give him good advice. maybe you’re slow-playing it just a, just a little bit. hardison has been absolutely the best in respecting parker’s boundaries. that’s not in question. but parker said she was in the mood for pretzels nearly a season ago. so maybe it’s time for hardison to be brave. make the final leap. and just ask her if they can make it official.

only hardison misinterprets. eliot says assertive but what he really means is confidence. and hardison seems to think that means overconfident swagger. really it’s just a series of no one being able to say what they really mean. more holdovers from the office job. 

and here’s the truly wild thing. eliot lets hardison have his swagger. the boy just needs confidence and if this night will give him that. well, eliot’s got his back. so he takes the two steps backward. and he keeps hardison from being shot or beat-up in the bar. rubs the bridge of his nose and puts up with a night of hardison’s antics. 

because he cares. and it pisses him off and charms him in equal measure. but hardison won’t quit with the prove himself crap. so eliot lets him win at rock paper scissors and goes to flirt the information they need out of security guard clark. lets him work his swagger out running from the security dogs. 

that’s when sophie and tara call him about the bomb. 

which means parker’s in trouble. and he can fix this. seconds to go but he knows exactly how to diffuse it. gives clear and concise as possible directions. and it all works out! how, exactly, the bomb was diffused are just mere details. it’s the age of the geek and you better believe that tuxedo mattingly wouldn’t have been able to save parker, sophie, and tara’s lives.

hardison has his confidence back. his appropriately geeky swagger. and what’s so hard, really, about taking the next step? he’s a catch! and parker’s definitely a catch. and he knows she likes him just as much as he likes her. 

even if he forgot that for a moment. 

now it’s the end of the night out jobs and long-sufferring eliot is trying to leave with sister lupe. don’t talk to them. they’ll make us stay. only he pats hardison on the arm and parker is excited to see him and. well of course he talks to them. of course he stays. 

was there ever any question he wasn’t?

Okay but can we talk about how in The Boys Night Out Job when they're searching Hurley's hotel and fighting off a few thugs, Eliot gives Hardison a gun before leaving him to check out the hotel room? He NEVER would have done that before The Grave Danger Job. Every time Elliot touches a gun he disarms it, but this time he gives it to Hardison because the one time he left him alone with the mark Hardison got taken and almost died. Now Elliot can't even stomach being in a different room from Hardison when there is potential danger. So much so that he gets over his extreme aversion to guns just to leave Hardison protected while taking his eye off him for a second. This man loves his soft hacker boyfriend so much I can't take it.

don’t let tumblr make you think that

The Boy Scouts meet in the basement, and they’re not a religious group.

A boy scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent! “Reverent” is right there at the end, because it is, if not a faith-based organization, not entirely secular.

I love this fandom.

How do you know the Boy Scout law?

We all had dreams once, Liam!

Eliot really be out there pining like there’s no tomorrow huh

this is one of my fav ot3 bits because eliot is so desperate to seem like the only thing he thinks about is n o t parker and hardison

“that’s not what I said! if I said that, that would mean I’d be thinking about you and parker, which I never do!”

lmfao like ANY of us would believe that

keep dreaming smol angry boy, you tried ur best

you KNOW that this guy had a powerpoint presentation about holy grounds semantics READY

[ TRANSCRIPT:

[Exterior Church] (Liam and Irish Thug run up to the church steps, looking for Nate and Hurley) Irish Thug: Did you get a look at that dark-haired fella with him? Liam: No, if we lost the courier, Callaghan’s gonna have our heads. (looks at the church) The church. (pulls gun) They’re in the church. Irish Thug (grabs Liam): Oh, I’m not just busting into a church to kill two men. Liam: What if they’re in the church basement? If they’re in the church basement, they we can kill ‘em. Irish Thug: So you’re implying that the church is holy but the church basement isn’t? Liam (puts gun away): They don’t say mass in the basement. The church basement is not holy ground. Irish Thug: So, what, it goes holy ground, mm, the basement, holy ground? Liam: The boy scouts meet in the basement, and they’re not a religious group. Irish Thug: A boy scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent! “Reverent” is right there at the end, because it is, if not a faith-based organization, not entirely secular. Liam: So you’re not coming in with me. Irish Thug: We’ll wait right here, and we’ll, (pulls gun) I don’t know, shoot the courier when he comes out. (Liam pulls out his phone) Irish Thug: You can call Callaghan if you want, but I am not going into that church. (Liam makes a frustrated sound and moves away)

END TRANSCRIPT. ]

Just finished watching “The Boys’ Night Out Job,” AKA “The One Where Hardison Is So Worried About How Things Are Going With Parker That He Totally Misses Eliot Quietly Loving Him All Episode”

dude @eggy-tea literally all your tags on every post are valid