Leverage Team Secret Santa

The Leverage team decides to do a Secret Santa one year.

Parker has no idea what to get Nate, "What do you get a guy with a weird controlling people thing??" until someone reminds her that he's also a "functioning alcoholic" so she looks up well-guarded alcohol and steals him a couple bottles of very nice, very pricey, formerly very secured scotch.

Nate gets Hardison some rare Star Wars and Star Trek memorabilia, along with a shirt that says "Age of the Geek Baby."

Hardison agonizes over what to get Sophie, he doesn't trust himself to do clothes (what if she doesn't like them or they don't fit?!) and eventually gets her a sort of advent calendar of ticket coupons. 12 venues, she picks the date, and Hardison will put her on their guest list/acquire a ticket (options are a couple spas and several theaters).

Sophie gives Eliot a set of high end cooking knives and some animal ice packs for post-mission bruises.

Eliot was going to give Parker money but then decided it'd be more fun to make her some cupcakes and hide a golden dollar in half of them. She thought it was hilarious.

We all know that Eliot has a penchant for accidentally becoming famous but if Hardison could would he join a famous D&D live stream just for shits and giggles? Would he make a 12 step plan to befriend the cast of Dimension 20 without raising suspicion and by the end he not only appears in the occasional game but is invited to other shows?

eliot: this is a bad idea hardison you know it

hardison: but have you considered it would be extremely funny and a dream come true?

eliot: it can and will blow your cover

parker: bold words from someone that's been made famous like at least seven times in your career

eliot: dammit parker you're not helping

parker: just let him play his little troll game

I bet the first time Nana meets Eliot- she sees the God fearing, flag wearing 18 year old boy. (The one that Eliot looks for in the mirror and can't find.) Nana doesn't see a criminal. Doesn't see a man who has blood on his hands. She doesn't see a warrior bleeding and crying out for mercy. Just a over tired, stressed, broken 18 year old- trying to prove to the world he's worth fighting for. That there's hope in saving him. Nana doesn't question Eliot's roaming eyes. Roaming eyes that are either looking for danger or looking for exits. The older woman simply smiles and pulls him to the kitchen. Makes him sit down and puts a mug of coffee near his callous hands. Nana doesn't react when she hears screams, moans, and groans at night. Nor in the morning does she make a remark about walking by the room and seeing Hardison and Parker next to Eliot on the twin bed. (Eliot is in the middle.)

I bet when Nana first meets Parker, she doesn't question her habits at all. Some how (Hardison, obviously,) has Parker's favorite candy and cereal. Some times, Parker will sit right in front of Nana with a brush and a hair tie. Nana will gently brush her hair while she plays with whatever child is in front of her. She doesn't slap Parker's hands away when she grabs extra food. And she definitely ignores seeing Parker sneaking into the room Hardison and Eliot share. (Nana saw it when they walked in- Parker feels safe with them.) In the mornings and the windows are open- she looks out to see Parker and Alec on a bedsheet curled up to each other. She smiles. Nor does she comment on missing things after they leave. Especially since a few weeks later- those things return outta the blue. Nana has no qualms when Eliot shows up with both Parker and Hardison behind him- Parker sick and Hardison injured.

"Sorry, Nana," Eliot apologizes, looking meek at coming to her place, "I can't get them to list'n. Can't get 'em to rest." And together- Nana and Eliot get the two trouble makers on the couch. She might not question the reason why Eliot showed up with the two. However she does give Eliot a sparing look. She see's the ragged, tired look. It doesn't take a whole a lot of brain power to know that the two so called trouble makers- got Eliot into the dog pile. (He was suppose to follow her into the kitchen- he didn't. She knows Parker and Hardison grabbed his wrist.) (What can anyone say? She has eyes on the back of her head.) (Eliot allows to get pulled onto the couch with only mild, gruff, complaining.) When she goes back to the living room to check on her charges- she finds Eliot in squished in the middle- being used as a pillow. (He's knocked out too.)

Nana doesn't mind Parker teaching her kids how to pick locks. Or watching Eliot teach them self- defense. She doesn't question it when she see's little four year old Becca with pig-tails- standing by the counter helping Eliot with breakfast. Nana hums when she opens the door on a Saturday morning and see's Eliot, Parker, and Hardison (though Hardison begrudgingly-) with a tool box. After all she had left a message to Alec that her sink was leaky.

Instead, she makes coffee and pulls out Parker's favorite cereal. She asks if They are staying for lunch and even dinner. Makes causal remarks about one of her more difficult children- and watches as Parker and her baby Alec go and find the kid.

None of them comment about Parker recruiting half of kids that come from Nana's house. They keep it hush- hush when neighbors stop by for a cook out. Many of the neighbors ask about the trio- and Nana only replies with a smile.

"They're my kids." She says fondly- watching as Eliot grills as Parker is poking and prodding the chef. And Alec is simply smirking as he's showing Isak how to hack.

I bet Nana treats Eliot and Parker like her family. Because they are Alec's family.

back on my weird leverage AUs (this is another darker-than-canon AU)

AU where the events of the pilot episode happens three years earlier, when Eliot is still working for Moreau (but it's towards the end of this period, when he's already starting to question whether he can live with himself like this).

(Let's push up the timeline for everyone else, so Nate lost his son three years earlier, etc.)

Since Eliot isn't on the market, Dubenich hires Quinn as the hitter. Quinn does like guns, and is a little more cheerful, but a little more skittish, but mostly things are the same.

The thing is, Moreau, with Eliot by his side, is much more careful. Eliot never tells anyone about him, and neither does anyone else, so even though this Moreau is just as powerful and influential as he is in canon, hardly anybody knows who he is.

A few months in, the team accidentally end up in Moreau's crosshairs by unknowingly doing a big job against a company that Moreau secretly controls.

Okay, okay am I allowed to add on? You can take this off if you want!

It's not so much the pleading in Quinn's eyes that makes Eliot stop. It's Hardison. This kid whose probably injured and Parker is next to him on the ground trying to help him get out- and Eliot just... he stops. He sees his siblings in them. All of them. There's something in the way that Parker bites her lip, the way Quinn is panting, grimacing, and even Hardison whose scared.

Eliot stops because of them. Parker looks into his eyes and with the mixed plea that Quinn keeps chanting. Eliot clenched his jaw.

Parker or Hardison utter the words; "Please, don't hurt us."

And something in Eliot breaks and he thinks about that boy with God in his heart and a flag on his shoulder. He thinks about his siblings. And instead of finishing the mission Monreau tasked him with- Eliot turns around and fights the men.

The team walks away with a new hitter. Except- Eliot takes time away from them. But it's Parker and Hardison who find him- with Quinn trailing behind. Talking to him, Quinn doesn't trust Eliot yet. Parker and Hardison are his- and if they want Eliot on their team... he's gonna make sure that Eliot knows that nothing is gonna stop him from hurting Eliot.

Nate and Sophie aren't surprised with an overly cautious Eliot shows up in the apartment- trying to keep his distance. They don't blink when Parker sits right next to the man. Hardison next to them.

They added another son. And the world feels right.

Hardison, snuggling with Eliot: you're my snuggly little le-matya

Eliot: what. What language is that?

Hardison: it's Vulcan

Eliot: agh. It's bad enough you got me to learn Klingon. I am not learning another fake space language for you.

Hardison: mmhmm sure

They don't talk about it.

But there's no way Nate should know those things. No way the client could have told him, no way he could've figured it out on his own. Not when these things were nothing more than fleeting thoughts from the mark. But Sophie notices him quietly go for the scotch behind the counter and rub at his head in pain with extra vehemence some days despite the latest con having no personal connection to him.

They don't talk about it.

But someone should've recognized Sophie on that con. There's no way she could have that many characters per con. No way none of those diplomats didn't recognize her from any of her previous cons. Not when she didn't change any more than her clothes and accent. But Nate notices her features seem to flicker at the peace and safety of home when she thinks he isn't watching.

They don't talk about it.

But no one could've survived that. And certainly not looking the way he does. There's no way he didn't come out of that fight broken and bloodied to all hell. Not when instead he walks out with a purposeful stride and only a clenched jaw, rolling his shoulders. But when he's cooking and accidentally burns himself, Parker notices the unmarked skin left behind.

They don't talk about it.

But not all vents are human sized. They all saw the size of the vent cover as she exists with a grin. There's no way she could've fit in there. Not when the human body can't bend that way, a way that even the greatest contortionist can't bend. But some days Hardison notices as she seems to stretch and bend before his eyes when she's feeling relaxed and safe enough.

They don't talk about it.

But that's not how computers work. There's no way Hardison could access that kind of thing. Not when he describes how he did it like that. Not when he does it so quickly like that. Not when he says he's taken berries and the next thing they know he's recreated a colonial era journal to perfection. But Eliot swore he shoved a glass of water at him, not more goddamn orange soda.

They don't talk about it, the thing lingering over their heads as they conduct each con, the unacknowledged thing between the five of them that's a little deeper than just a desire to take down the rich and powerful.

They aren't perfect, they all know that- sometimes they're too good with their covers, sometimes they have to shift gears as the con unfolds before them, but somehow things always seem to work out.

But no one asks about it, so-

They don't talk about it.

every once in a while, when it's a quiet moment between him and one of his partners—could be anything from a stake out to a long drive in lucille to the warm moments between making love and sleep—eliot will turn to them and say, tell me something i don't know.

parker will usually tell him secrets. the bits of history that only exist between her, bunny, and now eliot. there's a lot from living on the streets, when she was young. she tells him about training with archie; eventually, she tells him what it felt like. she tells him about loneliness and not understanding and frustration and how her hands hurt when she wants to flicker them around; when he asks her why she doesn't let them, she says to ask another night. that's too big a secret to share when another's been revealed already. he does ask, and she does answer. once, she says in a shaking voice, i love you and hardison so much, and parker feels silly because duh eliot knows that, hardison knows that, but eliot heard something deeper than she could express, so he held her tight and kissed her hair as she shivered through the weight of her confession. after sharing with eliot, sometimes parker feels comfortable enough to share with hardison, peggy, sophie, or a client who needs to know they are not alone in the mess and hardship of the world. much later, the fact that parker has shared something once makes it easier to tell her shrink as she gets on SSRIs, which she seeks out after confessing to eliot that even if it had been based on a lie to grift hurley, maybe there was something to her treatment at the second act rehabilitation center that she missed. occasionally, she'll tell him about art. he listens just as patiently as anything else she decides to divulge and she loves him all the more for it.

hardison infodumps. parker didn't press eliot for what he meant the first time he asked; hardison did. eliot had shrugged, anything you wanna share. hardison nips out a testy, so if i go off about (he paused thinking of something that would surely turn eliot off) optimal simcity street design strategies, you wouldn't mind? eliot didn't back down, even when hardison went into a two-hour spiral that branched into different iterations on the concept, including rollercoaster typhoon. eliot made a few comments here and there, asked some clarifying questions now and again, but otherwise let hardison rail on. the next time, the question was framed as what you working on? but the effect was the same. eventually, hardison stopped hesitating and started looking forward to these monologue sessions. hardison doesn't think anything of them other than he's got some quality time with his partner, until one day on a job with some leverage international trainees, eliot manages (elle woods style) to untangle the lie at the heart of a condo scam with a few pointed questions about the plumbing. when one of the trainees asked how the hell he knew that, hardison expects to hear over the comms how eliot once dated a plumber or an architect; instead, eliot scoffs, you met my partner. genius knows a little of everything. which is when hardison remembers once infodumping about sprinkler systems. eliot gets the tightest of hugs when he gets home for truly listening to hardison.

Okay but think of the comedic potential of the Leverage OT3 having been together for years by the time of Redemption, and at one point the others find out.

Breanna would be like "oh my god how did I not see that". Sophie would go "oh that explains a lot of things". (And yeah, it would also be on board for her to know, but one, it's been established that unconventional relationships are kind of a blind spot for her, and two, Parker is weird enough and Eliot's act is good enough that it would help throw her off the scent.)

(Harry wouldn't care much probably.)

And the possibilities of how it could happen. Like. Hardison is up in space, Eliot and Parker are doing something for a con, they see someone coming, Parker is like "quick, let's make out", and throws herself on Eliot. Eliot is like "no, not the lips", but he goes along with it, and then when they're in the clear, he's like "why do you always bite my lips? you didn't have to bite my lips", to which Parker replies "I was playing a character. Clara is a lip biter", and Eliot goes on an angry rant about the whole thing, but also the others overhear it, and Breanna checks in like "Eliot always says it? how often do you guys make out on cons?" and Parker goes "Eliot's not talking about the cons."

OR Parker is upset by something, and leaves the room, and Eliot goes after her, and when he doesn't resurface for a while Breanna goes after him, and they're kissing, and Eliot shouts at her to get out, but she's like "Okay. This is not cool. Eliot, you're super scary and I can see you're pissed at me right now, but I gotta call Hardison," and they're both like no, you don't have to do that, but he's already on call, and Breanna tells him everything. Eliot is facepalming and sighing the whole time. Parker is just like "what? they had to find out eventually." And then Breanna finishes, everyone is dead silent, waiting for his reaction, and Hardison is like "So y'all wasted my time with this? [five-minute rant about how busy he is]" Breanna is flabbergasted. "So Eliot makes out with your girlfriend and that's your reaction?" So Hardison just goes "Damn sis I better damn hope that when my girlfriend is upset our boyfriend would go and comfort him. Get yo act together." He hangs up, camera cuts to Breana, her face frozen while trying to process the information. Then she just goes "HOLY SH-" [commercial break]

Inspired by a gifset of Hardison's "emotionally butt naked" line:

Knowing that it means a lot to Hardison, Eliot makes a point of finding a time to explicitly verbalize his feelings for Hardison and Parker. It's carefully planned, with his "speech" exhaustively worked out and rehearsed in advance (Hardison said emotionally naked, not spontaneous).

It goes without a hitch, despite Eliot feeling extremely self-conscious. Alec is choked up and teary-eyed.

Just as Eliot realizes with horror that he didn't really plan an exit strategy for this and isn't sure how to get them back on an even keel again (preferably without someone dissolving into tears--there are limits to how much "emotional butt-nakedness" Eliot is prepared for right now), Parker interrupts by very solemnly tucking a $100 bill into his shirt pocket.

Both Eliot and Hardison are baffled. Eliot finally asks what she's doing.

"You were getting 'emotionally butt-naked' like Alec wanted, right?"

"...Yeah? What does that have to do with stuffing cash in my--" Eliot stops, suddenly making connections that he's hoping are the wrong ones.

"That's how it's done, isn't it, when someone does a good job at stripping?"

op: #parker knows exactly what she's doing.#eliot and hardison speechless (and eliot turning red) over parker's ''misunderstanding'' of societal norms is familiar territory#that they know how to deal with.#(besides eliot *did* do a good job and a crisp $100 bill is an appropriate token of parker's approval.)#leverage ot3#emotional butt-nakedness

Writing Prompt: Dialogue

“Eat the damn sandwich,”

Eliot had lost count of the times Hardison had stolen his lunches, and it was times like these that he began to questions if there was such thing as honor amongst thieves.

"Hardison, don't even think about taking my sandwich." He growled as he stuck his freshly made sandwich in the fridge for later.

"I'm not gonna eat your sandwich!" Hardison promised. He sounded offended at the mere suggested that he would take someone else's food, as if he hadn't done it a million times before.

Eliot didn't believe him. Not for a second. He knew Hardison was going to try to take the sandwich, despite his best efforts to prevent it. But he wasn't going to let that happen this time, not after all the work he had put into it.

At least that's what he kept telling himself.

Eliot made his way to the fridge, dreading the empty space where his sandwich had been earlier that day. He was tired and didn't feel like making another sandwich, especially after that train wreck of a job.

When he opened the fridge he was surprised to find the sandwich still sitting right where he had left it.

"See. I didn't take your food." Hardison grumbled and popped another couple of gummy frogs into his mouth as he sat down at the counter with his laptop.

Eliot realized with a sinking feeling that if it wasn't his sandwich, the only thing Hardison would eat for the rest of the night was gummy frogs because he was too preoccupied with whatever it was he was doing to think about real food.

Eliot sighed, took the sandwich out of it's parchment paper, put it on a plate and slid it across the counter towards Hardison.

"Just eat the damn sandwich." He growled and set to work making a second sandwich for himself.

Febuwhump: Who did this to you? — Leverage

Eliot found her in his house, curled up on the floor between his bed and the wall. Probably it had been the safest place she could think of. Dark bruising mottled Parker’s jaw and throat; she clutched a misshapen shoulder with hands that were covered in bloody rope burns. When she raised her head at his approach, he saw the fear, the dried tear tracks down her cheeks.

Rage hit him like a sledgehammer, sudden and staggering, but he kept his voice and his hands gentle as he coaxed her out of her hiding space.

Only when she was out, when he’d got her changed into some of his own warm, dry things, when he’d popped the dislocated shoulder back into place and bandaged the bloody hands—only then did he ask the question that had been pounding like a jackhammer in his brain until his very bones shook with raw fury.

“Who did this to you?”

Parker heard the barely-reined in anger, the savage rage, the vengeance in his voice—

—and in that moment, she felt safer than she had in hours.

Because Eliot Spencer was here, and he had her back.

The goons who did this were going to pay.

————

@febuwhump

#I loved the idea of Parker retreating to Eliot’s personal space as her safe space#because she knows he will keep her safe

op how could you leave that in the tags and just walk away, come back here

Februfluff “Taking a Nap” — Leverage

Halfway through watching a football game, Eliot was startled but not surprised when Parker planted herself so close beside him on the sofa that she was almost breathing down his neck.

”Ow,” he grumbled mildly, removing her elbow from his ribs, but otherwise not paying much attention. Parker was like that sometimes.

Ten minutes later, she snored softly—and that was when Eliot realized she had actually fallen asleep on him. He froze, forgetting the game entirely. Parker was not one to let herself be vulnerable in front of other people, and yet here she was, taking a nap with her head on his shoulder and her feet tucked up under his leg.

The implied trust was staggering. Eliot found himself blinking suddenly misty eyes, hard.

Nobody had felt safe like this around him in years. Nobody. He was the dangerous one, the predator, the man even other killers feared.

And yet here she was, this little thief, drooling into his sleeve and making funny little snoring sounds as she slept, totally unafraid and trusting.

It was enough to make a man’s heart melt—even one made of stone.

With unsteady fingers Eliot reached for the remote and lowered the volume of the game to a dull rumble. Then, very carefully, he tilted his head to lean against hers, her hair soft against his prickly cheek.

She didn’t wake up, and he relaxed, feeling weary contentment creep over him for the first time in a long time.

Nate found them there, an hour later, both sound asleep and huddled on the end of the couch like a couple of weary puppies.

He smiled, and let them sleep.

————

@monthly-challenge 2024 | Taking a Nap

“No. End of discussion.”

“Eliot! That’s not fair.”

“Fairness has nothing to do with this, Hardison.”

“Excuse you? Nothing to do with this? So what have we been fighting for all this time?”

“Oh, don’t you dare bring our work into this.”

“You’re the one saying that being fair is not important.”

“Don’t put words into my mouth…”

“Parker.” Sophie asked softly, as she came to stand next to the other woman. “What’s wrong?” She eyed the two men in concern.

“Oh they’re just arguing.”

“I can see that.” Sophie sighed. “Why are they arguing?”

“Oh. They’re trying to decide who’s going to be tiny spoon today.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“When we sleep we have someone who’s the tiny spoon, because they’re being spooned by the other two.”

“And neither of them want to be the tiny spoon?” Sophie asked.

“No. They both want to be it today.”

once, on a mountain, they confessed to one another: what makes them them is that they would leave a dead man behind to save their own lives.

then, in a train tunnel about to face the end of the world, there is a nod. an agreement struck deep and true and together. this time, they are the only ones who can do the job because they know they may die but it's an easy choice, for them.

hardison tells parker in that tunnel (and later, eliot once they are all curled around each other under sheets and the weight of what could have been) that she can't do that again, she can't. he can't. hardison needs them.

but eliot and parker are who they are because they can make the call. and they would. any and every time. eliot knows this for sure. because for all your intentions, you can only make the promise to be there for one person at a time when push comes to shove. that parker would make the same choice as him is why he loves her and why she loves him. because they alone would break their oath (that they change together) so that the man they both love—and the world he treasures—may yet live.

[inspired by this post]

We all know Eliot doesn't like guns, but he actually gets pretty excited when Hardison shows off his stigmata paintball gun.

He hates deadly force, but I firmly believe that's a man who won't hesitate to absolutely destroy you in a paintball or laser tag arena.

OOPS I did it.

Disclaimer: I have never personally played paintball so this is all based on the general context i could find on google in under ten minutes. anyhoo blurb under the cut for anyone interested.

hardison realizes this in some convoluted way after one of their cons and he goes out of his way to schedule occasional 'team bonding exercises' at local laser tag arenas. it has the dual benefit of the team having fun but also letting eliot slowly associate good aim of 'weapons' with something other than hurting and killing

over the years they visit some of the best arenas all over the world. wherever they go they almost always establish the business high scores and sometimes if there are screens where people can watch, literal crowds gather at the game center as they hear just how intense the game is getting (but all of them are still laughing?)

even after nate and sophie leave, they still go. team bonding nights turn into date nights and the loser has to do the dishes for a week. (parker and hardison have gotten exponentially better over time and it's often a tossup of who is going to perform better between them. eliot usually ends up doing the dishes anyway because he's a gentleman and a softie like that)

breanna joins the team and is THRILLED to finally be involved in Team Laser Tag Nights. she has been practicing and preparing for this her whole life. to the surprise of everyone, she scores the closest to eliot (harry scores the lowest, to no one's surprise). there is a moment where sophie desitates to pick up the hardware as she is remembering all the times she did this as a team with them and nate, but still ends up playing and has a great time