how can anyone look at the leads in call me by your name and see the actual physical difference because of their ages and not feel you’re witnessing a sex crime

post on Tumblr warning teenagers against dating people in their 20s: *tens of thousands of notes, hundreds of replies agreeing*

post on Tumblr pointing out that Call Me By Your Name is about a creepy relationship between a teenager and someone in their 20s: *tens of thousands of notes, hundreds of replies about age of consent laws and how it’s okay bc the older dude didn’t pursue him at first and it’s LOVE, OP!*

And how is it that one minute most of this website agreed that laws can be wrong and things that are legal SHOULDN’T BE and things that are illegal ARE NOT ALWAYS BAD but the second it involves a gay couple boning everybody is so eager to use THE LAW as a way to justify this movie

and back to my original point, how can you look at THIS

and not only not want to call child protective services, but also think it’s erotic?

hhhh i mean i sort of agree with you but can we not make this about bodies?

that body belongs to a 22-year-old man (i mean i guess he’d have been 20 at the time of filming?), not a child, i don’t like the implication that anyone attracted to Timothée Chalamet is immoral or a pedo or something? 

but yeah i do have a lot of issues about how a lot of gay films are framed as a romance between an adult and a teenager, always bothered me about Queer As Folk as well (especially the UK version jfc)

Even thought Timothée may be 20 in this movie, there’s still a ten year age gap between him and Arnie Hammer, who is 31, so I would say that there is still be plenty of reason to take issue with seeing the two together

i agree with you that a ten year age gap between a young adult and an older person makes for an unbalanced relationship where in many cases the younger person is being taken advantage of, which is not ok

but making this about what people’s bodies look doesn’t make sense to me

to put this in context, my brother is 19 and he has a beard, is hairy as all hell and is already balding - he looks more like Hammer here than  Timothée - would that make it suddenly okay because they look more physically similar? even though the age difference is similar?

no, of course not.

there are 16-year-olds with bodies more like Hammer, and there are 25-year-olds with bodies more like Timothée, don’t make it about bodies and physical characteristics because you’re quietly implying that it’s ok if they’re ‘physically mature’ enough and it’s not

PSA for short trans guys: Wolverine is 5'3" and he will physically fight your dysphoria for 1 can of beer

Another fun fact: In realities where Logan was NOT captured by Weapon X and brainwashed/given adamantium coated bones he is known as James Howlett; an openly gay badass of a man who gallivants about with his lover Hercules. 

Further fun fact: Logan’s clone, X-23, who is biologically identical to him because Fuck You Jackal That Is How Cloning Works, is AFAB. So. Yeah. Hella Gay Trans Dude Wolverine is a thing.

how can anyone look at the leads in call me by your name and see the actual physical difference because of their ages and not feel you’re witnessing a sex crime

post on Tumblr warning teenagers against dating people in their 20s: *tens of thousands of notes, hundreds of replies agreeing*

post on Tumblr pointing out that Call Me By Your Name is about a creepy relationship between a teenager and someone in their 20s: *tens of thousands of notes, hundreds of replies about age of consent laws and how it’s okay bc the older dude didn’t pursue him at first and it’s LOVE, OP!*

And how is it that one minute most of this website agreed that laws can be wrong and things that are legal SHOULDN’T BE and things that are illegal ARE NOT ALWAYS BAD but the second it involves a gay couple boning everybody is so eager to use THE LAW as a way to justify this movie

and back to my original point, how can you look at THIS

and not only not want to call child protective services, but also think it’s erotic?

hhhh i mean i sort of agree with you but can we not make this about bodies?

that body belongs to a 22-year-old man (i mean i guess he’d have been 20 at the time of filming?), not a child, i don’t like the implication that anyone attracted to Timothée Chalamet is immoral or a pedo or something? 

but yeah i do have a lot of issues about how a lot of gay films are framed as a romance between an adult and a teenager, always bothered me about Queer As Folk as well (especially the UK version jfc)

so sick of the toxic transmedicalist bullshit

like i’m about as binary masc presentation as you can get, but more because i don’t want the hassle that’s associated with presenting otherwise than because i believe in it (sidenote: beards make a great sensory fidget toy)

but i didn’t have hugely significant dysphoria, so i guess that makes me ‘tucute’

and when you point that out to them they’re just like ‘oh no we don’t mean you, we just mean the ones who wear dresses’

so it just becomes increasingly clear that when they say ‘you need dysphoria in order to be trans’ they actually mean ‘you need to conform to gender roles’

nope. obviously there are some who say dumb shit like that, but the majority do not. when we say “you need to dysphoria to be trans” we mean “you need dysphoria to be trans” i couldn’t give less of a shit if you’re feminine or masculine. if anything, it’s the tucutes who enfore gender roles, by claiming that if you’re gnc, you’re trans, which isn’t true.

so because i don’t experience dysphoria i’m not trans?

even tho i’ve been on HRT for 6 years???

Wait, but why does every person who has gender dysphoria have to technically be trans? If they aren’t transitioning, don’t plan to transition, but have gender dysphoria, the first two don’t negate the last. Transition isn’t the only way people can choose to deal with dysphoria. While it may be the way many people choose to deal with their gender dysphoria, transition isn’t the one and only defining factor of gender dysphoria and to say so is closed minded and dangerous, for your community as well.

i think you misunderstood - being trans and transitioning are 2 separate things

you can be trans and not ‘transition’ - being trans is something you ARE not something that you do

like i said, on a diagnostic level, being trans is technically a requirement (but it’s probably more woolly than that anyway depending on who you see) but i’m not going to say that they CAN’T experience gender dysphoria (they know their experiences better than i do), just very wary of cis people (tho especially cishet people) co-opting terms from trans people

We use semicolons every day.

its almost like kids learn prejudice 

I hate that people think kids aren’t intelligent because they are. And explaining things like this to them is hella simple

I cAN’T BELIEVE i used to think I was a straight girl

true wlw and trans boy solidarity

my mother was reading aloud an article in the newspaper about a transgender woman working at our local sam’s club, and how the staff there was referring to her as a “thing” and an “it”.

i said it wasn’t good to dehumanize someone, even if you don’t like them.

she laughed, and said “they do it to themselves”.

this is real transphobia.

what transphobia is not, is someone believing that we have a medical condition, and dysphoria is the defining factor of what it means to be transgender.

just some food for thought.

they’re both transphobia

being transgender isn’t a medical condition, and dysphoria isn’t the defining factor of being transgender

the whole point of dropping ‘gender identity disorder’ in the DSM was because there are transgender individuals who do not suffer from dysphoria

gender dysphoria became the medical diagnosis, which makes sense because there are transgender people that do not suffer from gender dysphoria - either because they have taken steps to ensure they no longer suffer from this or because they never did to a significant extent (a significant negative impact on your mental health is required for a diagnosis of gender dysphoria)

restricting treatment pathways for trans people because you don’t like the way their condition presents is unconscionable 

if you don’t have dysphoria, then how are you trans? if you’re comfortable with your body, then there’s no point in transitioning.

the only realistic way of a transgender person not having dysphoria is if either

a) they’ve transitioned already, thus alleviating their dysphoria.

or b) they’re in denial.

trans people don’t exist only at the point of ‘transitioning’, a word which can mean many different things to different people

i personally don’t have dysphoria any longer because i took steps to mitigate that dysphoria, but i’m still trans - i don’t stop being trans just because i went on HRT etc. and don’t have dysphoria anymore, and honestly, there was never that much dysphoria to begin with

don’t you ever just get that feeling where someone uses the right pronouns for you, or uses your name, or something changes about your body and it just feels good and right and how it’s supposed to be?

that’s how i navigated it all. i could probably have existed without transitioning, but i’m happier as a guy, and i realised that by taking steps and feeling right about those steps, not necessarily because i felt awful before

i never said anyone didn’t exist, i hate when people use that “oh so i don’t exist then” argument when someone disagrees with them. no one is denying your humanity here.

so you transitioned. good for you, i’m glad you’re not dealing with dysphoria anymore.

but what’s frustrating to others is the fact that there are people who have absolutely no dysphoria, usually “trans boys” (i say this in context, don’t misunderstand), who like running around in dresses and lingerie and showing off their secondary sex characteristics, and then getting angry when people call them a girl.

people like this actually make it harder for those really struggling with dysphoria to access HRT and other treatments, because the doctors don’t believe them. this isn’t “gatekeeping” or whatever else they call it, it’s they’ve been dealing with fakes, and they’ve been giving treatment to people who in reality don’t need it. it took my friend over six months to get his T prescription because his therapist wasn’t sure, and that’s only one example. there are several cases i’ve seen here on tumblr as well.

it’s like saying someone feels like they have a broken bone, so they put a cast on. someone may ask what happened, but they say “oh no i’m fine i just like how the cast looks”. they make being transgender look like an accessory, a joke. in fact this is one the major reasons why my family isn’t accepting because they don’t take transgender people seriously, as people who manage to make it into the public eye make us look like a joke. they claim “we’re not hurting anyone!!!” when in actuality they are, we want to be treated as people, not clowns. and that is not society’s fault.

look, this line of thought starts leading to some serious shit. i have literally never encountered the kind of caricature that you’re painting (and i’m knee deep in the trans community, both offline and online) but even if that person does exist, it doesn’t matter. you’re making it sound like there are legions of these trans people trying to access medical treatment but it’s incongruous, it’s just not true

it’s hard for trans people to access treatment because of cissexism, not because some people are pulling away from binary gender presentation. i could wear a dress and that doesn’t change the fact that i’m a guy, any more than it would for a cis guy

you want to know what it’s like here? there’s a 2 year waiting list in the UK to even SEE someone, and yes that’s frustrating, but it’s due to chronic underfunding of trans medical care and a system that’s designed to make you jump through hoops, and even if they cut off people who don’t conform to gender roles then that wouldn’t even come close to addressing the problem

do you REALLY think that’s going to change because you’re targeting a very small subset of trans people for not presenting in a way you like? or for not experiencing dysphoria in exactly the same way, or in a way that you approve of? we should be encouraging people to think about their gender, not shutting them down

i just don’t see what you have to gain by rigidly enforcing this. you can’t seriously believe that you’re going to get faster treatment if you’re mean to trans people (usually teens) on the internet who are experimenting with their gender presentation

my mother was reading aloud an article in the newspaper about a transgender woman working at our local sam’s club, and how the staff there was referring to her as a “thing” and an “it”.

i said it wasn’t good to dehumanize someone, even if you don’t like them.

she laughed, and said “they do it to themselves”.

this is real transphobia.

what transphobia is not, is someone believing that we have a medical condition, and dysphoria is the defining factor of what it means to be transgender.

just some food for thought.

they’re both transphobia

being transgender isn’t a medical condition, and dysphoria isn’t the defining factor of being transgender

the whole point of dropping ‘gender identity disorder’ in the DSM was because there are transgender individuals who do not suffer from dysphoria

gender dysphoria became the medical diagnosis, which makes sense because there are transgender people that do not suffer from gender dysphoria - either because they have taken steps to ensure they no longer suffer from this or because they never did to a significant extent (a significant negative impact on your mental health is required for a diagnosis of gender dysphoria)

restricting treatment pathways for trans people because you don’t like the way their condition presents is unconscionable 

if you don’t have dysphoria, then how are you trans? if you’re comfortable with your body, then there’s no point in transitioning.

the only realistic way of a transgender person not having dysphoria is if either

a) they’ve transitioned already, thus alleviating their dysphoria.

or b) they’re in denial.

trans people don’t exist only at the point of ‘transitioning’, a word which can mean many different things to different people

i personally don’t have dysphoria any longer because i took steps to mitigate that dysphoria, but i’m still trans - i don’t stop being trans just because i went on HRT etc. and don’t have dysphoria anymore, and honestly, there was never that much dysphoria to begin with

don’t you ever just get that feeling where someone uses the right pronouns for you, or uses your name, or something changes about your body and it just feels good and right and how it’s supposed to be?

that’s how i navigated it all. i could probably have existed without transitioning, but i’m happier as a guy, and i realised that by taking steps and feeling right about those steps, not necessarily because i felt awful before