Loki Is The Meaning Of Life

I may or may not have made another one but with my favourite scene in the episode.

Hello hi yes, I'm alive, just got busy trying not to literally die of cancer (acute myeloid leukemia if we're being specific) but I'm surviving, I was in remission for a bit but relapsed in December. It's been a hell of a ride but hopefully my stem cell transplant will end it before it ends me.

And the salt in the gaping and bleeding wound? My aunt's cat died right before Christmas. He was my best little buddy but I guess every old cat goes eventually, he at least went peacefully in his sleep.

The one thing I noticed about episode 5 in regards to Zemo: that man was ready to die.

This the face of a man that has lost his wife, his son and his country, everything but his money. He was ready to finally be with his family again like he wanted to be at the end of Civil War. Like it was said in the first episode, there is no word for a parent that's lost their child.

Now this is the face of a man disappointed that he won't be with his son and wife again, only to suffer more. He wanted Bucky to shoot him in the head, it'd hurt him less than continuing without those he's loved.

FATWS SPOILERS AND KINDA HEAVY SUBJECT

I think a big reason for me personally why the opening scene hit me like a freight train, namely when Bucky's told "you are free.", is that I, on a personal level, see myself in Bucky. I saw my young teenager self, and I see my current adult self in him with the self loathing, the fear and endless pain and wanting it all to stop. I long for the day I can hear "you are free" as well. That scene broke me on a level I never thought Marvel could, but I loved it also because they finally let him cry, and not just a tear, they let him full out cry after almost a century.

Wanda: *mentions Pietro once*

Me, aggressively crying:

No I will not shut up about Pietro for the next several weeks.

ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE PIETRO MENTION PLEASE I'M SOBBING. Especially when you realize that lullaby was probably a song she sung with him after they were orphaned. The only way that could've been better was if Pietro's voice was faintly singing with her, like a memory.

I literally can't tell at this point how much of both Bucky and Nat's personalities I've taken on at this point. All the time bisexual but some days I'm a bad bitch who cannot be stopped and others I'm a moody bitch who'd rather stay home and cry over Steve.