EXO Emergency #Let'sPlayCatchUp

Suho: Okay it’s been a while since we’ve had a meeting. I know a lot has happened, and I wanted us all to touch bases.

Baekhyun: Well I think the biggest news is that Yixing had his solo debut, and it was basically the best thing in life and we should all support him forever!

Yixing: *fist bumps him* Thanks Bro.

Kai: Nice thrusting.

Yixing: You noticed? Thanks! I really wanted the hip work and butt slaps to carry the song, and deliver a specific message.

Sehun: What message?

Yixing: I like butts.

Suho: Yixing I’m really proud of you! You were lit af!

Chen: You know what? I’ve decided to become a nicer person and to just let that whole sentence pass.

Baekhyun: If only you would have passed up that haircut too.

Suho: Guys-

Chen: MY HAIR WAS DAMAGED AND NEEDED TO REGROW! DON’T TRY AND COME FOR ME BAEKHYUN SITTING HERE LOOKING LIKE PATCHY THE PIRATE WITH THAT RAG ON YOUR EY-

Xiumin: YEAHHH so me, Chen and Baekhyun are debuting as a sub unit on Halloween! We have some big things planned. Even dropped a teaser.

Kyungsoo: Nice I hope you all do well.

Chanyeol: AND DON’T FORGET ME! I got featured in a song with Far East Movement AND Tinashe.

Kyungsoo:

Kyungsoo: Was I suppose to remember to care?

Sehun: I think I’ll make a pot of tea

Chanyeol: B-but we did the Love Yourself cover togeth–

Kyungsoo: Fan Service. It meant nothing to me.

Baekhyun: Make me a cup too Sehun! things are getting good!

Suho: Kai! Can you please look up from your phone?! We’re trying to have a meeting.

Kai: Sorry, Krystal is–

Kyungsoo: TRIGGERED

Kai: *rolls eyes* Krystal saw some texts the other day in my phone from Taemin, and she got the strangest idea I may be cheating on her…..but I mean come on, everyone knows TaeTae and I are like brothers right?

Xiumin: Um…. don’t ask me

Sehun: *avoids eye contact*

Yixing: Well…..

Chanyeol: COME ON! HOW DOES KAI GET TO BE IN TWO RELATIONSHIPS THAT EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT AND I CAN’T EVEN LOOK AT A GIRL WITHOUT 12 FAN SITES SHUTTING DOWN??

Baekhyun: S A M E

Suho: Alright, alright! Leave Kai alone. Let’s refocus! These meetings are suppose to be a time where we can reset and find some peace. Get our heads straight.

Baekhyun: All I want to know is why Chen didn’t get his hair straight when he used those crooked scissors.

Yixing: *chokes*

Chanyeol: Deeeestroyed!!

Chen: Can someone tell me why isn’t this just an M unit debuting again? Do we really need Baekhyun?

Suho: Well Chen, SM did do a survey of your popularity, and most women kept getting your name confused with the oldest guy in BTS.

Chen:

Sehun: Ouch, sorry bro

Baekhyun: *sips tea*  DAMN this is good.

Xiumin: I wonder if the military has less conflict. I really don’t do too good when it comes to being involved with drama.

Chen: Oh you don’t? Well Baek isn’t too good being involved in dramas either but for some reason he keeps acting.

Baekhyun:

Chanyeol: DID SOMEONE ORDER A SAVAGE WITH A SIDE OF PETTY??!!!

Kyungsoo: *takes Baek’s tea cup* You def don’t need this anymore.

Sehun: *pats his back* At least you tried

Baekhyun: Funny, that’s the same thing SM tells you after every comeback.

Sehun: *pulls his hand away*

Yixing: I think I should probably leave now.

Suho: NO! I did not bring all of you here for us to argue like always. No one is leaving until they say something nice to someone they hurt today. Baek, I’ll start with you and Chen.

Baekhyun: Fine. Chen, even though your haircut is stupid at least you know that when people Google Jin, they may accidentally see a pic of how you looked before you made yourself look like Edward Scissorhands.

Suho: *sighs*

Chen: And when Halloween rolls around, your pirate costume is pretty much completed, so way to go on getting your shopping done early.

Suho: Why do I bothe–

Kyungsoo: Chanyeol, I liked your voice a lot in your MV, especially the parts when you shut up. Kai, you broke my heart and I hope that when Krystal breaks yours, it’s only half as hard.

Kai: Gee, thanks.

Suho: Ughhh okay Baek, you still have to apologize to Sehun. Telling him that SM tells him “at least he tried” after every performance is hurtful.

Baekhyun: But that was the truth so…

Sehun: It actually is.

Suho:

Suho: This meeting is over.