N'SIDE NCT #2018 Year in Review *Skit*

Taeyong: *pulls out paper from back pocket and starts reading* Well guys *clears throat* it has been a while since we've all had a chance to meet as a full group. I just wanted us to reflect on the past year and the successes that we've made.

Haechan *from kitchen*: Um...question

Taeyong: Yes?

Haechan: Did Doyoung write that paper and is he secretly the one behind this meeting?

Taeyong: Um-

Doyoung *sitting back straight in a chair right next to TY*: You don't have to answer that Taeyong….and for the next part if you could put a little more emotion in your voice I would appreciate it.

Yuta *coming from back hallway*: So sorry I'm late to this meeting guys I was on the phone with my lawye- um I mean long distance best friend...y'all don't know him...he's Japanese.

Taeil: Yeah i feel like you're lying but also I don't really care.

Jisung: *laughs*

Jeno: *raises hand* Can I go first? I really have some things I'm grateful for.

Taeyong: Sure go ahead.

Jeno: I just did.

Lucas: You just did what??

Jeno: I said there were things that I'm grateful for….

Jaemin: You’re doing great sweetie!

Renjun: *rubs temples* So that's the kind of meeting we're going to have today…nice *sighs*

Doyoung: There are no wrong answers. I am personally happy about all of the success we've had. Our fan base grows with every comebac-

Jungwoo: *pulls out pack of gum and starts walking across the living room passing it out*

Doyoung: Does that have to happen right now while I'm speaking?

Jungwoo: Um I don't know, do you want to have bad breath? We all fight our battles differently. Funky breath is mine.

Chenle: *looks around and then does a small clap in solidarity*

Johnny: Well speaking of being grateful this time of year in America-

Haechan: *under his breath to Mark* I bet you 5 bucks he name drops America like 6 more times before this meeting is done.

Mark: Pls can you just act right for 10 seconds, plssss?

Haechan: *pulls out gum from Jungwoo and sticks it on Mark's ear*

Haechan: Saranghae

WinWin: *interjects* I'm very happy that we all got closer and that we are getting along so well.

Yuta: *smiles like Kris Jenner at WinWin*

WinWin:

WinWin: I wouldn't mind being a little less close to some people though...

Yuta:*whispers* Don’t fight it.

Doyoung: *Stands up and takes his papers away from TY* Thank you Taeyong for starting this meeting but I think that everyone would prefer for me to take over.

Lucas: *looks around* wait...this is a meeting? I thought we were about to order food!

Ten: How do you understand and not understand Korean at the exact same time?

Lucas: *oblivious* I can’t help being this gifted.

Haechan: Speaking of gifted, I was looking at the presents under the tree and so far I have the most!

Chenle: Weren’t you gathering empty boxes and wrapping them in wrapping paper earlier?

Haechan: Weren’t you a gifted child prodigy in China but now get three lines per comeback?

Jisung: *snorts while looking over Doyoung’s shoulder to see how many words he has left to say.*

Ten: I think that we had a great year too-

Taeil: lol “we”

Ten: I got to do some cool projects for SM station, I didn’t get drafted, and was able to really be an active part.

Johnny: Your fake neck brace you wore to the medical exam for the draft is in my room.

Jaehyun: Your fake crutches are in mine…

Taeyong: I still get weird google suggestions for all of the Web MD illnesses you googled on my Ipad.

Ten:

Ten: Whatever.

Doyoung: Um great contributions Ten, we are so proud to have you on the team. We do still have three new rookies who are waiting to move in-

Jaemin: Where? We literally have no more room in this dorm. Last night I slept on the bathroom floor!

Taeyong: You have a bed tho…

Yuta: Um yeah I needed some extra space for some clothes so I kinda took it over...for the next couple of weeks.

Johnny: Yuta…

Renjun: I heard there was s rumour at SM that to make space for the new members, the most popular members here would be moving into a better dorm...is that true?

Mark: *zipping up suitcase* Nah...we're a team.

Taeyong: I can't find my good toothbrush!!

Jaehyun: *taking picture frames of himself off the wall and putting them in boxes*

Jaehyun: Eh don't believe everything you hear.

Jaemin: *to Jeno* dibs on Mark's bed.

Doyoung:

Doyoung: I think that this has been a very good little check in just to see how everyone is doing.

Lucas: So we're really not ordering food??

Doyoung: *ignores* Maybe after Christmas we can have another meeting to stay on the same page.

Haechan: I'll be busy that day.

Doyoung: I didn't specify a day…

Haechan: Exactly.

Taeyong: Um good meeting guys. I'm going to go take my mattress outside to a moving truck…..no reason just because.

Renjun: *to Kun* So tell me about the Chinese market...i may have to go back.

Doyoung: *sighs* Please leave...all of you.

Kun: *raises hand* I didn't get a chance to say anything.

Doyoung: You won't til 2019 so don't feel bad.

Kun:

Kun: U right.

NCT 127 reacting to the We Go Up MV when it's over: *loud noises*!!! That was amazing!! The dreamies did great! Let's watch it again!! PROUD XD *hugs and high fives*

Yuta reacting to the We Go Up MV when it's over:

...cute.

N’Side NCT #Let’s Pick Roommates!!

(What if NCT 2018 all lived together and had to get along? What would happen if they had to decided where they all would sleep? Let’s see!)

Doyoung: *surveying the empty bottles and pizza boxes all over the living room*

Doyoung: This place is a mess! *starts picking up pizza and napkins* I’m throwing all of this junk in the trash!

Hacehan: *In his boxers and a pair over oversized sunglasses* Woahh not so fast Bunny Boy! I was saving that for later!

Jaehyun: *coming around corner* If you save it any longer it’ll be old enough to vote.

Haechan: But would it?!

Jeno: *rises from his slumped over state on the couch* Woah if pizza was able to vote would it even vote??

Lucas: Dude….That’s really deep.

Doyoung: No, it’s really not. Don't encourage this!

Taeyong: Yeah. I have to agree with Doyoung, guys. This is like a living trash can.

Haechan: Oh so when I call Mark “Breathable Trash” I get slapped, but when you insult my food it’s all good??

Mark: Wait, what?

Jeno: Breathable trash?? Dude!!

Lucas: Are we on to something?? Dude!!

Doyoung:

Doyoung: I don't get paid for these dumb moments. *walks away*

Taeyong: Haechan shut up and clean up. We need to have a quick meeting with everyone in the house to go over ground rules.

Renjun: Actually studies show that children that have too many rules imposed on them tend to become violent and repressed as ad-

Taeyong: Stop talking and find a mop.

Renjun: For the carpet?

Taeyong: *points to a growing puddle, courtesy of a knocked over gallon of milk*

Renjun: Okay, but who would do that and leave it?

Jisung: *sipping a cup of milk* Some loser without any home training.

Chenle: Oh no not the rug!! *starts using discarded socks to mop up the mess*

Yuta: *whispers to Kun* Why does your boy like the rug so much?

Kun: *whispers back* He said he likes how the strands signify being together...kinda like us.

Yuta:

Yuta: yeah can we hurry up and get this meeting going?

Taeyong: We’re just waiting for everyone to arrive.

Taeil: *coming from back* I want to sit on the couch, but I want to sit on whatever side that smells less like Dreamy butts.

Jeno: *sniffs cushion* Um….

Mark: *sighs and pats a seat next to him*

Jaehyun: Who are we still missing?

Johnny: *coming from hallway* Here! *followed by Jaemin, Ten, and Jungwoo*

Jungwoo: There’s nowhere to sit!

Taeyong: There are spots on the couch and even on the floor, what do you mean?

Jungwoo: I meant no where to sit….by you! *sparkle smiles*

Taeyong:

Ten:*rolls eyes*

Johnny: *sighs*

Jeno: *passes back out*

Jungwoo: *keeps direct eye contact*

Jisung: *turns on TV. and puts the remote by a caffeine dazed Lucas*

Taeyong: Really Yukhei?? I'm trying to have a meeting and you're going to turn on the TV?

Lucas: What? No man, um did I do that? Wow! That magic ring I got in the cereal box back when I was 7 must work after all!

Kun: *looks down at his own magic cereal  ring and sighs*

Johnny: Everyone pls let TY speak. He worked really hard on nailing down a roommate list.

Taeyong: Thanks bro. Okay there are 5 different rooms-

Renjun: I would like to put a formal request in for a-

Taeyong: Denied.

Renjun: This is why we need a voting process!

Jeno: I want fair voting. If the pizza can't vote then neither can I!

Lucas: *cheers*

Jaemin: What in the world is even going on??

Doyoung: *walks back in* Chaos.

Johnny: Finally! Okay keep going Tae.

Taeyong: So Johnny, Jaehyun and Taeil will have the master bedroom.

Yuta: Why does Jaehyun get master? He's not even the oldest!

Jaehyun: Let's just say I have my ways.

Yuta:

Yuta: He paid you, didn't he?

Taeyong: Yep. Moving along we have me, Mark and Yuta.

Mark: Sweet! *puts his hand up to high five Yuta*

Yuta: *sighs in not good enough for SM to have lines Japanese*

Taeyong: Ten, Kun, Doyoung and Jungwoo will all be together.

Kun: Looks like we'll have a manicure, dancing, magic, vroom vroom, talk show every night!!

Jungwoo:*happy squeals*

Doyoung: *cracks a smile*

Ten: *pulls enlistment papers back out*

Taeyong: Next we’'ll have WinWin, Lucas, Jaemin and Jeno.

Winwin: *continues to just look pretty and smile*

Jaemin: That's fine.

Lucas & Jeno: * already passed back out on the couch*

Haechan: So let me guess, it's Renjun, Jisung, Chenle and me in the last room??

Taeyong: You got it.

Haechan: Did you even hear my vocals in Go?? That should qualify me to at least move up a few levels!!

Jisung: *whispers in his ear* Keep going, tell them how you feel!

Haechan: I think that we should go in order of worth. That way Kun sleeps in the pool-

Kun: ouch.

Haechan: Johnny and WinWin get Sehun's old dog cage for Vivi-

Johnny: *wonders if his visa will get pulled for punching out a kid*

Haechan: And Doyoung can sleep in the crawl space by the laundry machines.

Doyoung: I have most of the lines here!!

Haechan: Yeah...that’s exactly why.

Taeyong: Haechan thanks for your input. I didn't listen at all but it's nice to know you think we care. Now clean up the chip around your feet. This place is still disgusting!

Haechan: I didn't even have chips!!

Jisung: *with Cheeto dust on his fingers* I swear we really have a total slob in the house that needs to learn to do better.

Taeyong: Let’s all just be mindful of everyone and to try to live at peace. No rivalries, no fights, no egos. Suho from EXO actually left a note here on how to be a good leader. I wanted to wait and read it with all of you.

Taeyong: *opens letter and reads* I think I’m finally getting over Kris, it was hard at first without him but now I think I’m a strong independent bl-- *stops reading*

Taeyong: Um I think this is the wrong note...

Taeil: Um yeah.

Jungwoo: Wait keep going!

Jaemin: Who’s Kris??

Jaehyun: Traitor.

Doyoung: Money chaser.

Winwin: *whispers* Senpai.

Taeyong: Forget the letter! Everyone just try your best to make this living situation work.

Jisung: That was a really great meeting! *rubs fingers on Taeyong’s back*

Taeyong:*with cheetos crumbs on back* Did you just use me for a napkin??

Jisung: *with now clean fingers* Nope!

Taeyong:

Taeyong: Meeting over.

NCT 127 Reaction to You Being Insecure About Your Curves {Requested}

Anon: hey, hey, can i maybe request an nct 127 (or dream) reaction to you being insecure about your curves (especially bc u have bigger thighs) thank you so much sweetheart and pls keep up the good work! ❤

A: Here you go!(:

Taeil:

“Why are you wearing that big old shirt over your bathing suit?” Taeil asked you as you dipped a hesitant foot into the pool. “This swimsuit is from last year, and I don’t think it fits the same as it used to.” You answered, not looking in his eyes as you lowered your body downward. “So you decided you would rather bake in this heat than let me see you?”

“You’ve seen me before, not much changed except I expanded the real estate a little.” You let out a laugh but there was a tinge of insecurity in it. Taeil sighed and swam up to you wrapping his arms around you in the water.

“If you want to keep the shirt on that’s fine babe, but just know, I’ve liked everything about you this past year…” He let his voice drift off as he eyed you up and down, your cheeks automatically reddening. “Everything.”

Johnny:

“We’re going to be late!” Johnny groaned for the 4th time in 5 minutes. “Please Y/N, just finish getting ready in the car!”

You ignored him from the other side of the bathroom door as you looked at your reflection in the full length mirror. “Gahhhhh” the scream erupted from deep in your throat, causing Johnny to open the door to see what was going on.

“Why are you standing here in only a blouse with your skirt on the floor?!” He sighed and undid a button on his suit coat. You clearly weren’t going to be ready anytime soon. “I like my shirt but my hips look like two buffalos attacking each other in this skirt! Why did I have to be cursed with these thighs??”

Johnny reached down and picked up your skirt, handing it to you. “Put it on, I like this skirt and i like your thighs...They’re the reason I married you!”

You gave him a skeptical look. “Really?”

“Well I definitely didn’t marry you for your time management skills.”

Taeyong:

“You’d be prettier if you lost some weight….”

Your mother words hung in the air at the family dinner and you wanted to go run and hide. You were the only in your family who hadn’t inherited your mother’s slender build. Your stockier fram had made you feel inferior to your other sisters. This moment now felt like a really bad soap opera. Before you could think of anything to say Taeyong put his glass down and spoke.

“Frankly, I really like Y/N just the way she is. I don’t think she would be “prettier” if she lost some weight. She’s perfectly healthy and happy where she is now. I do know that you would be prettier if you stopped being so ugly to your daughter.”

You could have heard a pin drop in the stunned silence that followed his remark. Your mother was now silently seething, and probably calling your boyfriend names in her head. You shot Taeyong a look of pure appreciation. He always knew how to help you out.

Yuta:

“I’m not hungry anymore” You said pushing away your plate and grabbing a water bottle from the counter. “Woahh” Yuta replied, surprised that you were getting up so fast. “You barely even touched your food. I woke up early to make it just for you!”

“I know babe,” You acknowledged coming over and giving him a kiss on the cheek. “It’s just if I want to keep you around forever then I need to make sure I keep everything nice and tight.”

He grabbed your hand and pulled you in. “Hey, you already have me forever so don’t worry. Eat your food before you hurt my feelings and have to make it up to me.”

Doyoung:

“This gym membership is useless!” You looked at your bank statements and rolled your eyes. “It’s like I’m putting on muscle but my dress size isn’t going down at all!”

Doyoung came and looked over your shoulder at your bill. “I don’t know baby, the gym membership looks like it’s been working out to me. Your legs are stronger than mine!”

“Is that really saying much?” You joked and Doyoung ruffled your hair, messing it up. “See if I ever try and cheer you up again, thunder thighs.”

“Did you call me Thunder Thighs??!!” You tried to elbow him in the stomach but he dodged it.

“Yeah you have the thunder thighs, and I’ll be Thor...The god of Thunder!” Doyoung smirked at you as you tried not to die at his cheesiness.

Jaehyun:

“My stomach looks like I’m 3 months pregnant!” You were wearing shorts but a little bit of your stomach was pooching out over the waist band. “I’m freaking gross today.”

“No you’re not gross, you’re lame  sometimes and always forget to clean up your messes but you’re definitely not gross.

“You have to say that, you’re my boyfriend.” You sighed and tried to suck your tummy in.

“No i’m saying it cause it’s true. Don’t sweat the small stuff..” He came over and patted your tummy. “I think it’s kinda cute.”

WinWin:

“You may want to go up a size…”

The sales girl gave you an annoyed look as you held up dress in the mirror.

“Excuse me?” You couldn’t believe your ears. You weren’t even asking this girl anything about the dress. You were just trying to shop with WinWin and here you were getting attacked. The girl popped her bubble gum and walked away off to go help some other poor soul. “I didn’t want this dress anyway.” You muttered putting it back on the rack.

“Get it.” WinWin said simply. “You like the color, the style is the kind you were looking for and you love it so buy it.”

You smiled. There was a reason you kept him around.

Mark:

“I think I weigh more than you do…” You watched Mark as he slipped a shirt and grabbed his sneakers. “Where is that coming from?” He asked, his face caught off guard by your statement.

“It’s true, you’re really fit. I must look like a potato when I stand next to you.”

Mark dropped his sneakers, walked over and planted a kiss on your forehead.

“Don’t talk like that. Even if you are bigger than me, that just means there more for me to hold onto.” He gave you another kiss. “I’ll see you tonight babe.”

Haechan:

“I don’t want to hear it!” Haechan put his hand over your mouth. You were trying to complain about your weight again and he had had enough. “You always get down, and feel insecure. How many times do I have to tell you I love you the way you are?!!”

“Ten million!” You screamed as he started tickling you on your problems areas.

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you!!!” His voice got louder as he tickled you and you both began laughing. You were both so good together. He understood the insecurities that never left you as a child and you always believed in him and his crazy dreams. That’s what love is...right?

N’SIDE NCT #Let’sALLMoveIn!

(What if all 18 NCT members lived together? We’ll see what happens!)

Johnny: *opens the door to new dorms* Oh well this is... really nice.

Haechan: *pushing him aside with a bottle of air freshener and 3 suitcases* It smells like mothballs and baby lotion.

Chenle: I like it! It’s bigger than our last dorms.

Ten: I still can’t believe that they found a place big enough! This is wild.

Haechan: If you think this is wild then you’ve never been in a Jeju back alley after dark!

Ten:

Ten: Aren’t you like 12?

Jungwoo: Guys! Guys! They have a pooool! *starts clapping hands and runs outside*

Mark: Taeyong, look at how nice the kitchen is!

Taeyong: Yeah it’s nice but why are you telling me?

WinWin: *comes around corner* Ooh Taeyong this kitchen is great! I can’t wait for you to cook us meals! *shoots winning smile*

Taeyong: *pulls out apron and gets to work*

Mark: okay, but why?

Johnny: Shh shh little one..just let it happen.

Jaehyun: *plops down bags* Where’s my room?

Taeil: We all literally just walked in. There’s not a room that says Jaehy-

Jaehyun: *from down the hall* Found it! This room had “Master” on the door.

Lucas: All I know, is I want to be in the cool kid room!

Doyoung: Who are the cool kids?

Lucas: Well first of all not you.

Doyoung: Hurtful.

Jeno: Me right?

Lucas: Eh, depends on if i meant “cool” as in fun, or cool as in “literal sheet of polar ice”...

Jeno: ...I don’t get it.

Jaemin: *brushing by* You wouldn’t.

Jisung: *quietly taking the other members bags out of the rooms they want just to cause chaos later*

Yuta: *Throwing himself on the couch* This place is so nice! I wonder how we got set up with such a sweet place?

Kun: *looking around* maybe all of our hard work is paying off!

Haechan: *Snickers*

Taeil: Pls don’t be an easy target Kun, he only grows stronger if you do.

Johnny: Taeyong, do you want to say anything to the whole group?

Taeyong: Yeah, do you want spicy noodles or a type of soup?

Johnny: ...I meant about us as a team…

Taeyong: Oh...um..No you’re doing great! *goes back to cooking*

Johnny: Well first of all, I’m happy that we will be able to live together and learn more abo-

Ten: Pause, time out. Is Jungwoo drowning in the pool rn?

Jaemin: Haha I think he is! *starts unpacking bag in the middle of the living room* Hey...this isn’t my bag!

Jisung: *pulls out phone he took from Jaehyun’s backpack and starts filming*

Yuta: *Rips off shirt*

Lucas: *not to be outdone rips off shirt too*

Kun: Are one of you going to go save him, or is this the world’s lamest topless party?

Taeyong: 5 more minutes until the noodles are done boiling!

Yuta: I’ll go save him! *runs out to help Jungwoo*

Lucas: Wait… is that why we were taking our shirts off?

Renjun: I want to go back to the old dorms.

Taeil: Can we wrap this up Johnny, Jaehyun is currently marking his territory in the biggest room-

Jaehyun: *from master bedroom* TRUE.

Taeil: And it’s getting late, we should all just work out the room situation in the morning.

Ten: If it comes to it, I don’t mind bunking in the same bed with any of you, just in case you all were wondering.

Doyoung: We really weren’t.

Haechan: Even me Oppaaaa? *smiles*

Ten:

Ten: I’m going to go help Taeyong in the kitchen.*leaves*

Haechan: *takes his seat*

Jungwoo: *being dragged in by Yuta* Ohmygahd! Didn’t you all hear me screaming for help??? I was drowning for like 20 minutes!

Chenle: You’re dripping water on the rug...

Jungwoo: IS THAT ALL YOU CARE ABOUT???!

Chenle: What? It’s a nice rug.

Jeno: Lucas you can put your shirt back on now.

Lucas: Nah, the slight chill in the air makes my nipples pop.

Mark: Ew.

Kun: Yukhei….

Johnny: Enough! Since Taeil is going to bed, and Taeyong doesn’t care I just wanted to make sure that we all realized how important this move is for us.

Jisung: I recognize it hyung.

Johnny: ...are you wearing my sunglasses??

Jisung: *wearing sunglasses* No.

Haechan: I believe him *fist bumps Jisung*

Mark: Thanks Johnny, I’ll make sure the dreamies get to bed.

Jeno: *immediately walks out the room*

Jaemin: *lays flat on floor*

Renjun: *calls his mom to  pick him up*

Chenle: I want to bunk with Kun...or Lucas...or WinWin!

Yuta: Anyone else sensing a pattern?

Ten: *walking out of kitchen*

Lucas: *looking around* I’m sensing a severe lack of mirrors on the ceiling in here.

Ten: *walks back in kitchen*

Johnny: *sighs* I’m going to go try and shove Jaehyun out of the biggest room. *leaves*

Taeyong: Wait the food is ready now!

Doyoung: Was it food for everyone,or just for WinWin?

Taeyong:

Taeyong: Fine...Looks like I’ll have to make more.

Renjun: Um guys there’s a camera in the bathroom that says “Property of BBH”.

Mark: Looks like we know who use to live here now.

Lucas:*nods in agreement* You're right. It was the Big Booty Hoes.

Yuta:

Renjun: *on cell* Oh my God mom drive faster!!

Chenle: Um, Jungwoo?

Jungwoo: Yes??

Chenle: You're still dripping.

Jungwoo: …….

Jisung: *in Johnny’s shades* Living together is going to be so much fun!

"Hey! Your favorite childhood band is getting back together!"

"Hey! They added 30 more days to summer vacation!

"Hey! I just won an all expense paid tropical vacation for two!"

"Hey! Can you take me to the hospital? I think I broke something!"

"Hey! Taeyong is being forced to explain "Whiplash" again!"

NCT in a Zombie Apocalypse

Taeil: Convinces everyone that they’ll only survive as a team. Sneaks out the safe house at 3AM with 2 guns, a jug of water, and all the s'more making equipment.

Johnny: Has a tree house where he’s been living for 10 years pre apocalypse. Shoots down zombies as they pass. Accidentally wounds a real person and throws down supplies as an apology.

Taeyong: Lives deep in the woods with a parrot and an old Labrador whose bandanna he occasionally steals. Got separated from his family the day before the outbreak and vows to find them no matter the cost.

Yuta: Has over 300 confirmed kills. Loner. Always appearing out of the blue to save the girl get her feelings involved then ditch her for the love of the hunt.

Kun: Uses his knowledge of magics and illusions to avoid zombies. Once narrowly avoided a gruesome end by throwing a smoke bomb and jumping out of a 2 story building. Only broke 3 bones, and not the major ones.

Doyoung: Will do anything to survive. Has mapped out the woods and only travels at night, sticking to the shadows. Got shot by some nut in the trees in the arm. When he tried to figure out where the bullet came from was also knocked in the head by 3 water bottles and an apple.

Ten: Was in the hospital faking his latest injury when the outbreak started. Managed to jump up and run faster than a cheetah to the nearest hardware store where he stocked up on a nail gun. Nailed so many zombie brains his clothes now have their scent.

Jaehyun: Part of a ragtag band of weary travelers. Trusted to guard the women and children. Only one who has a working motorcycle that somehow still has gas despite the meltdown. Desperate to make sure his whole crew makes it to a better place.

WinWin: Was part of the reason why the zombie virus spread. Managed to make it out of the contaminated lab with his life but is now hiding with the very people he condemned. Should feel bad about it. Doesn’t.

Jungwoo: Killed Day 1 in the first 20 minutes.

Lucas: Killed by Jungwoo who he thought was just “playing around” on Day 1 in the first 25 minutes.

Mark: Is absolutely fully capable. He tells himself as he tries to fend off the panic attacks. Was given a gun by an old wise man with a mysterious gleam in his eyes. Realized later that the wise man was actually the town drunk and the gleam was the virus setting in.

Renjun: Knew this day would come and has a bunker with enough provisions to last him for the rest of his life. Has a trap door outside of his bunker where he captures zombies to do experiments on them in search for a cure.

Jeno: Has no idea what is going on. How he has survived 6 months is an actual mystery. Pretty sure that he must have a mutant zombie revulsion gene somewhere in his bloodline. Got given a baby by a wounded dude who died and then became a zombie. Almost lost the baby to the zombie.

Haechan: Really good at killing zombies and makes sure that everyone in the gated town knows. Doesn’t know that the other town kids want to throw him over the fence in his sleep if he doesn’t shut up.

Jaemin: Was bit on the arm and doesn’t have much time left. Promised a dying mother he would get her baby to safety. Got wounded in a surprise attack. Now travelling with a baby comes across a random nut job in the woods who the zombies don’t mess with. Hands over the baby to captain clueless and dies peacefully.

Chenle: Living his worst nightmare. Trying to stay as low-key and out of the way as possible. Found an abandoned food warehouse and has been subsisting on canned peaches and green beans. Has a rifle but really hoping he won’t have to shoot it any time soon.

Jisung: Underestimated by a group that decided he was too young to be useful. Jokes on them as they all died the first month. Makes elaborate traps to lure out zombies to areas where he can pick them off one by one. Keeps their teeth on a chain around his neck. Savage as they come.

Different Types of NCT 2018 Biased Stans

Taeil: 

Johnny: 

Taeyong: 

Yuta: 

Kun: 

Doyoung:

Ten: 

Jaehyun:

WinWin: 

Jungwoo:

Lucas: 

Mark: 

Renjun:

Jeno:

Haechan: 

Jaemin: 

Chenle:

Jisung:

TFW you're trying to comfort Kun that he'll be placed in a unit soon and to not worry but then Lee Soo Man walks up and asks you if you've already written your raps for NCT-M, NCT Salsa, and NCT-EBK (everyone but Kun),and you gotta act like you didn't already know about this 3 years ago.

Me: Watching the "Black on Black Performance MV" trying to figure out just where tf my bias is supposed to be.

NCT 127 (Realistic) Introductions

Host: Welcome everyone to the show! Today I have the amazingly talented NCT 127 in the house! Boys, please introduce yourselves!

Taeyong: Hello my name is Taeyong...*gulps twice and looks for exits*

Haechan:*whispers* ur doing great sweetie!

Taeyong: ...and I'm the leader of NCT pls don't ask me anything else I have literally shown you my entire personalit-

Johnny: Hey guys it's your boy Johnny! Tzennie it's great to be here with you! I'm prepared to be one of the only ones here who's not camera shy so if you would like to write letters to SM and let them know that I could use a few lines I'd realllyyy appreciate it.

Host: Okay, who's next?

Yuta: Hello Tzennie, I'm your darling Yuta!! *smile illuminates the entire room and for a moment Taeil's emo heart is whole again*

Jaehyun: Hello my name is Jaehyun, I'm happy that we were invited here. I'll be even happier when I get in a unit that doesn't involve Taeyong, Doyoung, and Taeil for once, so that I can shine as a visual and and a lead vocalist.

Doyoung: *whispers* Wait...are you calling me a visual??

Jaehyun: *responds in ignore*

WinWin: Hi I'm WinWin, I'm from China. I really like Korea and everyone is so nice and *stops to read ink filled palm* And SM entertainment is the best company and I hope to stay there for another 12 years. *beams brightly*

Host:

Host: Okay...who's next?

Haechan: Hello beautiful people around the world! I'm your maknae Haechan! Please take care of me! *begins doing very fake aegyo and heart signs* Also I resent the fact that Jaehyun isn't jealous of me. Did you even hear how great my vocals have been lately?!

Mark: Welcome everyone to this show. We are delighted to have been invited. We hope you're excited, NCT undivided! I'm Mark! *claps for himself looks to see if anyone heard his rhymes*

Doyoung: Wow this is such a pleasure to be here with all of these wonderful members. I hope that our fans enjoy this time with us. Please stay tuned for a great show! My name is Doyoung and I'll be hosting this show in about a year.

Host: what??

Doyoung: whet?

Host: *sighs* who's left?

Taeil: Hi I'm Taeil. *smiles for the camera but the goes back to his happy place and thinking about what's next in his Netflix queue*

Mark: Um...did anyone of you guys hear how I rhymed my introduct-

Haechan: Shut tf up Mark.

Mark:

Mark: okay.

I spend a lot of time wondering about things. I wonder about the vastness of space. I wonder what the world will be like in 40 years and what will I be doing. I wonder when will Kun join a unit in NCT so I can actually find out who tf he is really even is and not have to survive on only 3 sightings of him from May 9th, 2004. I wonde-

2005

Lee Soo Man: Im going to debut a “super” group that rotates members and takes over the world!

ELF’s: No. We like SJ exactly how they are. Keep the members the same!

Lee Soo Man: * whistles “Sorry Sorry” and attempts it anyway*

Super Junior: *adds members, loses members, has a thousand scandals, hearts are crushed*

2011

Lee Soo Man: Im going to make an “exciting” group that will take over Korea and China! Performing in two languages flawlessly!

ELF’S & EXO-L’s: Um…are you sure this can work?

Lee Soo Man: *hums “Baby Don’t Cry” and does it anyway*

EXO: *K&M mash together, A mass exodus to China, a heart breaking divorce and a thousand paper cuts from contracts reviews*

2016

Lee Soo Man: I have a totally new revolutionary idea to make a world wide group that will touch every nation and city!!

ELF’s, Exo-L’s, and Nctzens: Um just going by your track record dude I think we should all be a little nervous to see you pull this off.

Lee Soo Man: *claps his hands because he’s happy and he know it*

NCT: *NCT U vanishes, Thai member permanent hiatus, baby group sexualized and everyone and their mother joins 127*

Present Day

Lee Soo Man: I want to make a new group that will rotate members an-

Grandpas Of KPOP #The1stMeeting #AreYouMyDaddy?

(Shout out to @infinitebabymonsta for suggesting this a million years ago and me finally getting around to it!) 

Sunggyu: Hello everyone I would like to welcome you the very first meeting of the Grandpas of Kpop or the G.O.K. as some of the younger kids suggested I should call it.

Suga: Aren’t you suppose to be in the Army?

Suho: Why does he have to be an Army? Gahd aren’t there still some Exo L’s in the world??

Taeyong: Wow

Jaebum: Is he serious?

Woozi: Did anyone bring alcohol?

Sunggyu: *sighs* I am in the army, but I got out early for good behaviour.

JinJin: I’m pretty sure that’s not how it work-

Taeil: I’m pretty sure no one asked you. I have a question. What is the point of having all of these “old at heart” idols here? It feels like I’m at a Future Funerals Anonymous meeting.

MJ: Wait, is that a thing?

Sunggyu: No it’s not, and Taeil I just wanted us to be able to gather in one place and offer support to each other.

Jaebum: Can we all agree that the only support most of truly need is Life Support?

Xiumin: Well think there’s nothing wrong with having some group meetings. I think we all do need an outlet to express our true feelings and emoti–

Suga: Pardon me for interrupting, but this is boring and I want to go home.

Woozi: Father?

Taeyong: ….This is getting weird.

Suho: Fine! I’ll start off! As many of you may know, I’m in a lot of these support groups. And every time I attend a meeting I make a friend and I come to a realization that even though I may be old at heart I am young in min-

Shownu: *snores*

Jaebum: Oh wow, I didn’t even know someone from Monsta X was here.

Taeyong: To be fair, no one ever notices when Monsta X is here.

MJ: *chuckles*

Suho: I CAN’T WORK IN THIS KIND OF ENVIRONMENT SUNGGYU! I DESERVE JUST AN OUNCE OF RESPECT!

Sunggyu: Honestly Suho, If a little snoring at the old folks home is going to bother you so bad then maybe you should consider retiring as a grandpa and as a leader.

Woozi: WAIT I FOUND THE ALCOHOL!  Rewind everything back then repeat!

Jaebum: I also feel like I should take this time to tell everyone to buy Never Ever on Itunes. It’s a soulful upbeat song that expresses a man’s true feelin–

Suga: I’m going to the bathroom *leaves*

Shownu: *wakes up* Woah! Can we promote here too?! Everyone Monsta X is coming back and if you could all at least watch the video and I don’t know stream the song then maybe I can get a cell phone one day.

Taeyong: You don’t have a cell phone?

Taeil: Better question, Do you even know how to use one?

Shownu: Well no, but I was talking to Jooheon earlier and he was trying to tell me about some apps he heard about like “The Instagram” and “The Snapchat”.

MJ:

Woozi: I may be an old grumpy son of a gun but to be honest I really can’t relate to half of you old timers.

Sunggyu: So why did you come?

WoozI *takes a deep breath* Mostly because for a long time I had been searching for someone. My whole life I had thought my parents were the people I grew up with but not to long ago my mother told me that my father was someone else. Someone who would be here toda-

Suga: *walks back in* Um so you may want to invest in some air freshener and probably a new faucet too Sunggyu….no real reason, but um you probably should.

Sunngyu: Oh God.

Taeil: This feels like one of those trashy tv programs where people go to find out who the father is…except this is boring, unentertaining and no one is screaming “Jerry! Jerry!”

Suho: WAIT IS SUGA WOOZI’S FATHER????

Xiumin: How is that even possible?

JinJin: The math doesn’t  actually work at all guys.

Sunggyu: Sorry, I’m still stuck on the fact that my bathroom just saw WW3

Taeyong: *whispers to Taeil* That movie came out already?

Suga: Can someone explain to me why the short kid from Seventeen is looking at me?

Woozi: Because you’re my dad Yoongi

MJ:

Taeyong:

Suho:

Xiumin:

Taeil:

JinJin:

Shownu:

Suga: Um JB, What’s the name of your new song again?

Jaebum: Never Ever?

Suga: Exactly.

Shownu: Anddddd I think that I’m going to go back to sleep.

Woozi: B-but

Sunggyu: I think we should end the meeting and call it a night.

Taeyong: But it’s 6:30pm

MJ: Woahhh it’s late! Come one JinJin we need to get back home!

Suho: I still have time to go make dinner for the guys. This is great.

Taeil: And we can swing by Ten’s dorm and see if he’s still alive Taeyong! Let’s go!

Jaebum: I guess I’ll just go back home too then, Come on Shownu I’ll drop you off. We know your group can’t afford a car.

Xiumin: Brutal

Shownu: But true

Suga: Bye everyone, I can’t guarantee that I’ll come to the next one-

Sunggyu: *under his breath* Or that you’ll even be invited.

Suga: But it wasn’t a bad as I thought. Catch you all some other time….um except for you Woozi. I kinda think we should stay apart and avoid the awkwardness….and the child support payments.

Woozi: I understand.

JinJin: Again, the math doesn’t work out guys.

Sunngyu: Bye everyone! Have a goodnight! I’ll be turning in and calling it a night too after I clean my bathroom!

Suga: *from parking lot* USE THE GOOD BLEACH!

Sunggyu:

Sunggyu: God.