Not So Perfect After All *A Mini Imagine* #WuYifanEdition {Requested}

@zloe:  3 and tao (or mby kris?) bc im sad yo

A: Here you go!(:

3.  “Please don’t walk out of that door.”

You weren’t good at this.

All your life you had tried to keep people at a distance. If something needed to be done you did it yourself. You had learned that if you never trusted anyone then you could never be disappointed.

It was simple really.

In theory.

But not now. Now you were standing in a room across from the one person you had learned to trust. The one person you had allowed into your innermost thoughts.

The one who promised you he was different.

“I don’t want to talk anymore.” You sighed, avoiding his gaze and staring beyond him to the crooked picture of the both of you on the wall. “What’s done is done.”

“No.”

Kris’ eyes met yours and his usual steely gaze with tinged with regret and sorrow.

“Why won’t you believe me?” He asked for what seemed like the millionth time. You shook your head back and forth as if to swat the words away.

“You heard rumors and instead of talking to me about it you just want to walk away? Really? After everything we’ve been through you just want to throw it all away??!”

The rise in his voice almost disarmed you, and you could feel a tear stream out of your left eye.

“Kris I don’t care. If you want to go and find someone new then do it! I obviously wasn’t holding your attention after all…”

You turned away and reached for the door knob.

The world seemed to slow and everything moved in slow motion as you opened the door.

The darkness behind it mirroring the darkness in your heart.

All was silent.

The tiniest part of you hoping for something to save you both from ending like this.

“Y/N….” Kris’ voice was soft, broken filled with emotion and….vulnerability.

“Please don’t walk out of that door.”

That’s when you broke into pieces.

The next thing you knew your knees had buckled and all the emotions you had tried to contain came spilling out like an ocean.

“Why Kris?! Why?! Did you do it?! Do you even love me?” Your words tumbled over each other and your tears clouded your eyes as they ran down your face freely.

Kris rushed from across the room and grabbed you from behind as you crouched in front of the door gasping for breath.

“Of course I love you Y/N! Of course! I promise you, I never did those things. You know I said I would never hurt you!”

He brushed your hair from out of your eyes and gently rocked you into his embrace as you cried backwards into his arms.

“I promised you that I would never hurt you.” He whispered into the back of your hair. “And I still haven’t broken that promise.”

You wanted to believe him. You just weren’t sure if you could. You had been hurt over and over in the past.

What made this time so different.

Kris spoke again almost as if he could hear the storm of thoughts playing out in your mind.

“Just give me the chance to explain to you. All I am asking for is a chance.”

A heavy and somber moment passed before you spoke.

“I don’t know if I can.” You whispered.

Kris buried his face in your hair and pulled you in even tighter.

“Just one chance.,please..”

One last big fat tear rolled down your cheek and hit the floor.

You looked at it.

“I’ll listen….but listening doesn’t mean I’ll stay.”

“Okay” Kris croaked out his voice still thick with emotion. “That’s all I ask.”

How Exo Was Formed

SM: Okay you boys have all been called here because I’m forming a super group that will be the new face in fashion, media and the foreign markets.

Staff: *ahem* And don’t you mean in music as well sir?

SM: Sure, if that’s a side effect of fame we’ll go that route too. So! I have brought in 12 of the finest boys here to audition to show me if they are worth a place in EXO! Who’s first?

Baekhyun: Hello I’m Baekhyun. Some call me Baek you can call me “Bank” I have enough personality for even the slower ones in the room *eyes Kai* andddd enough charisma to become the center of all fanfictions.

SM: You’re arrogant, rude and demeaning…..I like you! You’re in! Okay who else is next?

Kris:  Honestly I think you should be the one asking me if I want to be in this “boy band” not the other way around..

SM: We need you here  to cash in on the Chinese babes weekly allowances, just lose the smirk and promise to stick around for the next 10 years.

Kris: *pulls out 2014 calendar and smiles to himself*

Suho: I’m Junmyeon, Um I’m really nice and I like everyone and I-

SM: You’ve been skulking these halls since ‘98 why should I let you debut??

Suho: *pulls out black visa*

SM: You’re in! NExt!

D.O.:

SM: A man of few words….reminds me of myself! You’re in!

Luhan: I’m really attractive.

Staff: And???

SM: LEave this DEER boii ALONE! Being attractive is a talent!  I’m not YG, I hire with my eyes.

Chanyeol: Please let me in. Yes I know I look like a cotton swab after it’s been in an ear-

Tao: Ew

Chanyeol: -But just give me a few years and I’ll be the face of this amazing group!

Baek: Um first I called dibs on being “Exo” and second you’ll only ever be the face of the group if for some reason we only had 8 people performing instead of 12 and that’ll never happen so-

Kris: Ummm I’m just asking for a friend but is this contract null in China?

Staff: What??

SM:  Channie you’re in! Moving on… who’s the panda looking guy on the verge of tears?

Tao: Hi!!! I’m Zitaaoooooo! *claps for himself* I can do martial arts!

SM: Hmm…I need people who can bend over backwards for me…okay you’re through.

Lay: I’m Yixing.

Staff: COME ON ARE YOU SERIOUSLY NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE????

Yixing:

Staff:

Yixing: You’re the Staff.

Staff: I don’t get paid enough for this.

SM: He’s in.

Xiumin: I’m Minseok, I’m really good at being a level headed middle of the road type. I make girls say “awh” by only breathing.

SM: Sure you’re in let’s wrap this up I have an appointment at “I Have Better Things To Do” who are you three?

Chen: *sings nervously in 8 octaves*

SM: IN!

Kai: I don’t really know.

Staff: Taemin said he could dance, but to not ask him any difficult questions.

SM: Poor boy…in!

Sehun: I’m just here because there’s a real lack of visuals and you need a maknae…. and because my mom told me I had to leave my room and do something productive today…..

SM:

Staff:

SM: I don’t even know how to respond. I’ll let you in on a 4 year “3 lines per song” basis.

Sehun: Sounds fair.

SM: You may leave.

*all trainees get up and exit*

Staff: So do I resign in person or can i turn it in by email??

SM: Shut up peon. We did a good thing today. I can almost smell the money in the air!

Staff: Really? I smelled at least 3 divas, a broken contract, and a badly pronounced potato.

SM: Don’t be so negative! Just wait in a few years we’ll make another supergroup with 50 members!

Staff: Pls tell me you’re kidding

SM: I’m not.

On the real tho, is Kris Wu’s Juice going to be our generation’s Wolf? Cause it’s a train wreck the first 10 times you listen to it, but somewhere around the 32nd you realize it may just be your new anthem.

16 Thoughts While Watching Luhan’s SKIN to SKIN MV

EXO Teasing their Girlfriend for Being SHORT Reaction {Requested}

“Can you please do EXO teasing their gf on how short they are? (I'm requesting this cos I am really short ^.^) Btw, I just found you blog and I LOVE IT! Carry on writing as you just gained a new follower:) ( I have a lot more to say but word limit)xD”

Thank you! Here you go anon!:)

Xiumin: “what do you mean you can’t reach the pot?” He asked you coming up from behind you and pulling it down. “Maybe if you would have put on those heels you love to wear all the time, then you’d be able to reach!” He teased causing you to snatch the pot and give him a swift elbow to the rib as you huffed away.

Luhan: “I’m sorry baby but you know I can never take you seriously when I can see right over your head!” He laughed at you, effectively cutting you off in the middle of your sentence. You were trying to scold him for leaving his shoes in the doorway (repeatedly) and making you trip but you could tell he wasn’t listening at all.

“Aughhh!!” You yelled in frustration. Sometimes it sucked being fun-sized.

Kris: “What did you say?” He asked you, grinning. You wanted to take a napkin and wipe the grin off of his mouth but you knew that would solve nothing. “Ugh, I said that I can’t see can you please….” You sighed deeply. “Give me a boost?”

“I’ll consider it.” He answered simply as he walked away leaving you fuming and wondering what in the world was going on at the neighbor’s house over their fence.

Suho: “You realize your legs practically stop at my ankles right?” He asked you as you both stood in front of the full length mirror in the clothes department of your favorite store.

“I can’t hear you!” You said in a singsong voice as you left him to continue perusing the racks.

“Can you not hear because your ears are small too?” He asked laughing as you picked up a hanger and began chasing him around the store.

Yixing: “I didn’t know shoes came in sizes this small” He mused out loud in wonder as he held your winter boots in his hands. “Are you sure this isn’t a doll’s shoe?”

You reached up and took the boots out of his hand and placed them back in your closet. “I had to order them special okay? So treat them with care, or else I’ll try and return YOU and get a refund.”

He just laughed at your empty threats and grabbed you for a big bear hug.

Baekhyun: “That’s the rules, I don’t make ‘em I just enforce ‘em!” He told you holding the last cookie up in his hand as you stood on your tippy toes trying to reach it.

“What do you mean you don’t make them? This dumb game was your idea! Ughh if I would have known that to get the last cookie you would just hold it in the air I would have never agreed! You pouted. You really wanted that cookie. It was double chocolate chip, your favorite.

“Tough luck shortie, next time put your heels on and maybe you can have a delicious cookie in your life.”

You watched in horror as he took a bite.

You would get him for this.

Chen: “Why wouldn’t you just tell me that you needed a booster?” He cried out as he looked at the hand held mirror at his mangled locks. You had volunteered to help him cut his hair, but the problem was that you couldn’t quite see exactly what you were doing as you did it. The chair he had sat in had been a little too high so some parts you kind of just cut in faith and good intentions.

“Well thanks Y/N, I always wondered what I would look like if I got run over with a lawnmower and now I definitely know!”

“You’re welcome!” You replied as he began chasing you down with the scissors still in his hands.

Chanyeol: “You make me feel like a giant” He informed you and you stood in line for snow cones at the local ice cream shoppe.

“You are a giant, I should be the one complaining, you make me feel like a toddler!”

He reached over and pinched your cheeks. “You’re right you act like a baby, you look like a baby and you’re as tiny as a baby!” You smacked his hand but he kept laughing.

D.O.:  “I didn’t see you at the concert? Were you there asked you?” As he greeted you and walked into your living room. “Of course I was there!” You told him “I was in the front row!” He scrunched up his face like he was in deep thought before his eyes lit up. “Oh you’re right! I did see you! You were just so short next to the sage all I saw was the top of your head bobbing around! Next time I’ll ask them to build a special mini stage just for you!” He laughed.

Tao: “I’m starting to think you keep me around just so I grab things for you.” He grumbled out loud as he stood on the attic ladder handing down boxes to you. “Maybe you are.” You teased struggling with the heavy boxes and hoping that he didn’t notice.

He did.

He looked down at you and laughed as you struggled to place the box down without dropping it on your own toes.

“Be careful, that box is almost bigger than you!” He warned as he turned back to the attic.

“Hardy har, har” You fake laughed. “I hope you fall.” You added in a whisper.

Kai: “Your hands are so little, they dwarf in mine!” He exclaimed as he held your hands in his. “How am I ever suppose to find a ring for your finger if you have elf fingers?”

“WOAH HOLD UP! Are you asking me to marry you?” You asked in excitement your heart racing.

“Um, no….it’s only been three weeks but I mean still you hands are freaking miniature!”

You groaned and threw the nearest pillow you could find at the side of his perfectly tousled head.

Sehun: “I don’t know why you complain so much about being little, I like the way you feel in my arms.” He told you as he came up and hugged you from behind. You smiled. Sehun might sometimes get a bad rep as being a scoundrel and self absorbed but it was moments like this you wished everyone could see the real him.

He continued.

“I mean you’re so tiny it’s kind of like you’re a bug and I’m the giant shoe that could squash you or let you live.” He burst out laughing as you wriggled out of his arms. Forget the mushy stuff. Sehun was still a big fat jerk.

EXO as GIRLS {Requested}

“Can you do EXO (OT12) as girls? Thank you!” 

Here you go anon! :)

Xiumin: Cutie Pie. Never has done anything wrong. Everyone who meets her loves her and wants to protect her. Thinks that sunshine and smiles is what makes the world go round. Shoes always match her purses.

Luhan: Somehow didn’t get pregnant in high school. Is linked to all the guys on the football team. Your mom told you, you couldn’t be friends with her. There’s not a bathroom in town that doesn’t have her named etched into a wall.

Kris: Cold as Ice. Wants to be taken seriously and tries to hang out with the cool kids. Grew up in a suburban neighborhood but would give her left arm to be from the hood. Secretly the world’s biggest geek but works hard at hiding that side.

Suho: Only goal is to grow up and have babies. Can’t help but mother all of her friends and showers them with mostly unasked for advice. Thinks she could be a professional comedian because someone once laughed at a knock knock joke she told. Always has some desserts on hand because she’s always in the kitchen baking.

Yixing: The quiet but focused one. Looks at life a little differently from everyone else and is often misunderstood. Pretty sure she has a secret boo somewhere. Practices grinding in the mirror when no one is around. Loves to sing Christmas carols but got made fun of one time and is now too shy.

Baekhyun: “That” Chick. Always in the know. Heard every rumor two weeks before you. Commands attention and face is always beat with nothing but the best products. Got hot over the summer and now has all the boys chasing after her. Still linked to her ex no matter how hard she tries to break away.

Chen: The Perfect Girl. Has never met a challenge she couldn’t conquer. Was taking college classes in the 3rd grade. Sings in public and acts shy when people comment on her obvious talents. Most likely going to marry for money. Got a bad hair cut once. The only time her image was ever tarnished.

Chanyeol: Always has her headphones on. Rather be gaming. Low key cosplays but tries to keep it on the hush. Taller than anyone in her class and feels awkward all the time. Tries to please everyone and hates when anyone is angry.

Kyungsoo: Painted her nails black before they were in style. Does poetry at the coffee shop of the weekends. But the coffee shop 3 towns over so that her friends won’t show up. Lost all her contacts when she got a new phone. Hasn’t contacted anyone to get their info. That was 2 years ago.

Tao: Sweet and sensitive. Everything she does is for approval. Has no idea what her real personality is. Mom bought her Walmart jeans once and she called Child Protective Services to take her away. 

Kai: The animal lover. Always into some mind and spirit realignment. Never actually sure what everyone is talking about but has become a pro at faking it. Wants to be a vegetarian but is having troubles committing to the whole no meat deal of it all. Looks innocent but is playing 2 boys at the same time.

Sehun: Bougie and petty. Believes in Sephora as a religion and snapchats dog filters and flower crowns all day. Uses a Taylor Swift or Drake quote for every picture she posts. Broke a nail checking the mail once and made a YouTube storytime video about how the postal service is nothing but killers.

EXO Emergency #I’llBeHome4Christmas...

Suho: Okay guys now this meeting is very important beca--

Chen:*stands up* Stop! Did you legit kept us from going home on Christmas so that we could all come to this stupid meeting???

Suho: …..no?

Baekhyun: *walks over and puts hand on Suho’s shoulder*

Baekhyun: Bro we love you b--

Sehun: *coughs*

Baekhyun: But I didn't spend the whole year becoming the most important member just to have to see your dumb face on a Sunday at 5am.

Kai: Yes, I'm not trying to be rude but why are we up so early anyway??

Suho: *shrugs of Baekhyun’s hand* First I'm not your bro and secondly all of you guys act like it's such a chore to spend some time together. Where is your holiday spirit?

Kyungsoo: You tell me, I was promised three bottles of wine!

*Door opens and Kris, Tao and Luhan enter*

Tao: Merry Christmas!!

Sehun: *mutters* More like 3 bodies of whine.

Tao: I heard that!

Kyungsoo: *rifles through the cupboards for soju*

Suho: I just wanted us all to gather as a family-

Chanyeol: But we're not

Suho: -Anddd to end the year on a good note.

Chen: Lol and you invited the absentee China Line for that? We can't even get Sehun to end on a good note, never mind the whole year.

Sehun:

Xuimin: So is this why you asked us all to bring a present?

Suho: *sighs* Yes! Just something small and thoughtful to give to someone you're grateful for.

Yixing: I brought a gift for Chanyeol

Chanyeol: Thanks man!

Baekhyun: Seriously??? *Starts crossing off name on package in his hands*

Chanyeol: *rips it open* Wow!!! It's a new hoodie!

Yixing: We all know that you're broke after buying your car, and we all were getting tired of seeing you in that “burning bridges” hoodie.

Chen: it wouldn't have been that bad of it didn't smell like a burning bridge as well.

Luhan: Lol I missed you guys.

Suho: Enough to come back?

Luhan: Sure…. I'd love to give up my paycheck and million dollar home for a cramped dorm and a slave contract.

Kris: *laughs* Funnyyy!

Chen: not really.

Kyungsoo: *raised hand* Can I go next?

Suho: Sure!

Kyungsoo: *pulls out brown paper bag and starts drinking from a hidden bottle*

Kai: Is he?

Baekhyun: WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME THIS WAS BYOB???

Suho: D.O.! I said bring something for someone you care about!

Kyungsoo: *lowers bottle* ….but I did.

Sehun: nice.

Suho: *rubs temple* Why me?

Baekhyun: Sooo I had a gift for Yixing but since his heart now beats for Chanyeol’s skinny ass I guess I have to give this to someone else. *throws box at Chen’s head*

Chen: OUCH

Kai: Can we speed this up? Krystal and i are spending Christmas at both our parents hou--

Kyungsoo: *starts gagging on his bottle*

Kris: Why do I keep coming back here?

Suho: BECAUSE YOU LOVE US AND WE LOVE YOU!

Chen: *opens box* Some one tell my why there's matching bracelets that say “Lay & Bae”????

Yixing:

Baekhyun: DON'T JUDGE MY LIFE!

Tao: Just to be honest I forgot to bring a present.

Sehun: Just to be honest I remembered but decided I didn't want to.

Suho:

Kris: You gotta give him props for honesty…..also I opted to not give a gift either.

Luhan: Same

Chen: Ditto

Xiumin: I brought a gift!

Suho: Who did you bring it for?

Xiumin: I didn’t know that it had to be for anyone so I sorta just picked a group gift.

Kai: Sweet, what is it?

Xiumin: Just a new PS4 for the game room.

Luhan: *to Chen* You guys have a game room?

Chen: If by room you mean a side closet in Soo’s room then yeah.

Kris: Typical

Suho: That’s better than nothing I guess.

Baekhyun: Speaking of better than nothing. Suho what did you get for us to make up for ruining our Christmases?

Suho: *gets excited and pulls out a giant bag* I actually got you all a whole case of scrapbooking materials so that we can bond together and maybe even invite some friends to scrap wi--

Sehun: *raises hand* I have a question for the China Line.

Tao: What’s up?

Sehun: So is there like a process you have to go through to leave the group or is it like you just don’t come into practice and stop returning phone calls…..I’m asking for a friend.

Suho:

Tao: It’s more like an unfollow off of social media and start dropping interviews every other week but you were close.

Baekhyun: Um I may know a friend who’s interested in leaving too so….

Suho: CAN WE NOT JUST HAVE ONE MEETING WHERE WE ALL BOND IN LOVE AND HAPPINESS???!!

Exo:

China Line:

Kyungsoo: I think my soju is gone, excuse me while i go to the store and get more…..if I’m not back in 3 days don’t come look for me *leaves*

Suho:

Sehun: *to Chanyeol* Wait can we just go?

Chanyeol: I mean you don’t do much so probably

Suho: I hate this group.

Chen: Wait! so does this mean that this will be the last time we see your loser face all year??

Baekhyun: Dude...don’t jinx it! We probs will never get that lucky!

Exo + China Line: *all laugh*

Suho:*picks up bag of scrap keeping materials*

Suho: I hate you all.

Age Plays A Part *IMAGINE* #SehunEdition {Requested}

“Hello!! Could i request a Suho scenario where you are his daughter and you has a crush on Sehun? Thank you in advance if you make it!^^ btw love your blog <3″

Here you go anon! :)

This was awkward.

Your father Suho was was sitting down on the couch after a hearty dinner with Sehun showing him your old baby photos.

Which was….embarrassing

But what made this whole moment almost unbearable, and had you cringing from the sofa where you sat, was that for the past couple of years you had harbored a secret crush on your father’s friend.

It was crazy, you knew. It absolutely made no sense for you to ignore the boys your own age for a man old enough to be your father but there was just something about him.

He just…..

“Awh Y/N, you’re still as pretty as you were when you were being potty train-”

“DAD!!! I SWEAR TO GOD, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!” You screamed as you jumped off of the sofa and pried the photo album out of Sehun’s laughing hands.

“It’s not funny!” You told them but Suho was too busy laughing over you while Sehun gave you a look of shared embarrassment.

“I’m going to my room! And I’m taking all of my photos with me!” You announced turning on your heels and whirling out of the door.

Ughhhhh

How in the world would Sehun ever think of you as a woman now when he had the images of you sitting on the toilet for “Big Girl Time”????

“AUGHSJHGHHHH!” You screamed into your pillow.

“Please! Whoever is up there in the sky...please just kill me!” You begged throwing yourself dramatically on the bed.

KNOCK KNOCK

“Who is it?” You asked, sitting up as soon as you heard the light tapping on your door. “Dad, if this is you coming for more torture, I’m running away to go live with mo-”

“It’s me.”

You froze.

Your dad was not the person at the door.

“Can I come in?” You heard Sehun asked as you began running around the room, picking up items that were thrown carelessly on the floor.

“Um, Sure!” You called racing back to your bed, tucking your hair behind your ear, and crossing your legs in your best attempt to look composed and mature.

The door opened slowly and Sehun walked in a slight smile on his face.

“Hey Y/N, I just wanted to apologize. You know I didn’t ask your dad to show me those photos. I actually…” He paused and looked off into the corner of your room.

You followed his gaze and noticed a pink bra poking out from underneath a laundry basket.

GREAT.

FANFREAKINGTASTIC.

He continued. “I actually wanted to ask him something about you….but he cut me off and threw the photos in my lap.”

He went quiet again and jammed his hands in the pockets of his long coat.

He looked like a kid.

A tall kid that was nervous for some reason, and had something they wanted to get off their chest.

You were so confused.

“What did you want to tell my dad about me?” You asked genuinely curious.

Sehun breathed a sigh before, coming over and sitting next to you on the bed.

Nice. Looks like he was trying to give you a heart attack too.

“I wanted to ask him if I…..”

“Ugh just say it Mister Take All Day!” You yelled at him, bumping him with your shoulder.

“I wanted to ask him if he would hate me forever if I dated you…..”

HOLD UP.

WAIT A MOMENT.

You went from being slightly confused and curious, to now being in shock and disbelief.

Your words came out in stutters. “Y-you l-like me-e??”

“Yes.” He replied simply. “I know, I’m old but I just am drawn to you and I can’t really explain it. I know this may seem wrong but I-”

“No! It’s not wrong!” You interjected. “I like you too! I’m just...Wow! I never knew you felt the same way!”

“What do you mean felt the same way!” You heard from the doorway of your room.

This time you both froze.

Suho came through the door his face a mixture of emotions.

“What did you just say Y/N” He asked his voice low and tight.

“Um….” You were freaking scared. You had never seen your Dad like this before.

“I like Sehun Dad...a lot. I have for a while no--”

Suho charged Sehun and knocked him back on the bed.

“My daughter?? You had to freaking go after my daughter??? You piece of shi-”

“Hey! Hey!” You cried trying to pull your dad off of Sehun as Sehun tried to shield himself from the blows.

“Suho! We didn’t do anything I promise! We were just talking! I swear...SUHO!!” Sehun pleaded from underneath your father’s burly weight.

“Dad! Get off!” You screamed pulling his shoulders but slipping as he shrugged you off.

You fell backwards and hit the corner of your vanity table with a thud.

Things got foggy.

Through a blurry mask you could see you dad jump up off Sehun and they both raced to your side.

“Y/N! Are you okay! Wake up! Wake up!” Your dad yelled scooping you up and cradling you in his arms.

“I’m sorry!” Sehun called out to Suho. “I didn't want this to happen! Let me hel-”

“You've done enough.” Suho told him coldly. “It's time for you to go.”

“Bro I-”

“Leave!”

You passed out as Sehun walked out the door and Suho loaded you into the car.

This was a disaster.

Much Better.

EXO Emergency #Happy(not so)TurkeyDay

Chen: What is this?

Baekhyun: Why is there a table full of food and a giant turkey?

Kyungsoo: This can’t be good. Whenever we get together for a meal things go down.

Suho: Come on guys! Grab a seat and sit down! Don’t you all know what today is?!

Sehun: Um, Friday?

Suho: It’s Thanksgiving! In America it’s still Thursday so we’re going to celebrate with--

Kai: Out me. I’m going to dip out. I had plans for the day and none of them included celebrating foreign holidays.

Suho: We make plans to have great comebacks too, but that’s never stopped you from breaking your ankle every 3 weeks.

Chanyeol: Ouch

Kris: You told me that SM was letting us out of our contracts. That’s the only reason I even showed up today.

Tao: Yeah me too!

Luhan: Same.

Yixing: Kris, someone also told you that you could have a solo career, and for some reason you believed that too.

Kyungsoo: Ooh is this pie? *takes a slice*

Chen: Okay but come on guys, really don’t we all have better things to do with our time than fake a thanksgiving?

Suho: I don’t know Jongdae, seems like those fake edges you draw on every morning takes more time than slicing a pie.

Xiumin: No need to get savage bro. He can’t help it they messed his hair up. Let’s just all get into the holiday spiri--

Sehun: You know it always annoyed me how you pick and choose what times you want to act like the oldest.

Baekhyun: Don’t stress it, it always annoyed us waiting for you to pick and choose when you’d finally become talented.

Kyungsoo: Ooh is this sweet tea? *pours cup*

Sehun: YOU’RE FORGETTING I GOT A SOLO DANCE IN LOTTO!

Kai: And YOU’RE obvs forgetting the true definition of the word “dance”.

Luhan: The rest of you all may have nothing going, on but i REALLY NEED TO LEAVE! DO YOU COPY?!

Tao: Copy? Oh like that lame hair cut and jacket I’m pretty sure I saw Kris wearing 3 weeks ago on IG.

Kris: WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS ON MY IG TAO???

Tao: MAYBE BECAUSE THAT’S THE ONLY THING I CAN STILL BE CLOSE TO YOU ON!!

Baekhyun: Anyone notice how things weren’t weird until the China Line came back?

Yixing: I did

Suho: So Kyungsoo, are you going to only make your plate or are you actually going to participate in the conversation?

Kyungsoo: I don’t know ask me again after you start participating in our record sales.

Chanyeol: Burnnnnneddd

Xiumin: Honestly Chanyeol, you can’t talk about anyone, you’re sitting here wearing that same sweatshirt for the 3rd day in a row.

Chanyeol: And you’ve been wearing that same baby fat for the last 12 years in a row so?

Baekhyun: These sweet potatoes aren’t sweet enough. The sugar didn’t come through strong.

Sehun: Oh really? Hmm just like your high notes.

Suho: STOPP! ThIS Is suppOSED to be a time for peace! A time to get together and celebrate our bond as a team and family! We had our struggles in the past but now we are TRULY super group!

Baekhyun: So if we’re a super group, are you Batman or is Sehun? Cause I’m just trying to figure out where the token useless member goes.

Kyungsoo: Ooh is this pudding?? *gets a scoop*

Suho: Fine I give up! JUST LEAVE! I’LL ENJOY A NICE THANKSGIVING BY MYSELF!

Chen: Thanks, because if i had to look at that ashy piece of ham any longer. I was going to--

Suho: GET OUTTT!!

Sehun: But he didn’t get to finish his joke!

Suho:

Chen: -Was going to use the oil on your face to moisturize it!

Exo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Exo: *leaves*

Suho: I hate them, I hate them all.

Every Exo Comeback Ever

Suho: What kind of concept do you guys want to do this time around?

Baekhyun: I don’t really care

Chen: Same

Yixing: *in China*

Chanyeol: Something fun

Xiumin: Whatever you guys want

Kai: My leg will be broken anyway

Sehun: I just want lines

D.O.: How about we do some deep moving concept that involves deep sorrow meaningful lyrics and pain, but showcases our talent in a new and inventive way??

Exo: *Debuts MV on sound stage with abstract background and nonsensical English*

Suho: What kind of dance style do you want this time around? Normal or Sexy?

Baekhyun: Whatever is fine

Chen: Ditto

Yixing: *still in China*

Chanyeol: Something easy

Xiumin: You guys pick

Kai: Um are ankles suppose to swell like this?

Sehun: Can I please have lines?!

D.O.: How about something light and easy with a fun simple dance that the whole family can dance to???

Exo: *Debuts MV filled with pelvic thrusts, floor grinds and body rolls*

D.O.:

D.O.: I hate this fcknign group

The China Line Chronicles #KrixingFacesOff

Kris: Welcome to another China Line Meeting! Now it’s been a long time since we’ve met and a lot has changed, like I actu--

Luhan: YIFREAKINGXING released not one, but TWO killer solo MVs without faking an injury and leaving Exo! Way to go bro!

Tao: Okay, first i feel like the faking injury part was directed at me and seco-

Luhan: It was.

Tao:

Yixing: Thanks guys! I’m so amazed, and I’m so thankful that your departures paved the way for me to have some spotlight in Korea.

Jun: So what you’re trying to say was that if The8 left Seventeen and went off to do his own thing. I would finally get more than one line and actually make my parents proud?

Luhan: Dude. Yixing humps floors and spreads butt cheeks for a living. His parents haven’t been proud in years.

Kris: Wow what a fascinating subject but like I was trying to say earlier I rele--

Chenle: Hey I think someone is knocking on the door! Were you all expecting more people?

Tao: Waittt! More members??? Yixing’s room is already the size of a closet-

The8: That may be a little too generous to say

Tao: Okay the size of a toilet stall in a closet, and I really don’t think we can hold anymore members.

Yixing: Renjun, just open the door. Exo isn’t having a meeting til later so it’s probably some more Chinese recruits looking to join.

Renjun: Okay Dad

Yixing: What??

Renjun: Nothing *opens door*

Jackson: *enters with 3 guests*

Jackson: WHAT UP MY CHINESE FAMILY??!!!

Kris: Yo dude!

Tao: What’s up man?!

Luhan: Jackson?

Jackson: So I heard you’ve been having meetings to talk about how unfair it is for Chinese artists as idols here in Korea an--

The8: You wanted to join and add your valuable input?

Jackson: Lol no, are you kidding me? I got JYP on speed dial and 5 out of 4 shows on television have my face in them.

Jun: *mutters* that’s not even possible

Jackson: I’m actually here because i brought these guys! *gestures towards 3 guests*

Yibo: Yo!

Yixuan: Hey guys!

Wenhan: Nice to meet you all!

Luhan: Okay forgive me if I’m being rude, but I promise I have never seen any of you in my life before.

Tao: He’s got a point. We at least could google the NCT boys to figure out which ones were the rejects of the group.

WinWin: Um thanks?

Yixuan: We’re actually 3 members of Uniq. We had that EoEo song where we g-

Yixing: GRINDED ALL OVER THE FLOOR!! Yeah dudes I know you! I saw that video and knew that we HAD to meet one day!

Kris: AND SPEAKING ON VIdeos!! Mine came out and I sang my whole song in English!

Luhan: *coughs*

Tao: *avoids eye contact*

Jackson: Um that’s cool bro, keep doing your thing I guess.

Kris: WHY ARE YOU ALL BEING SO FLAKY AND NOT ENCOURAGING ME??

Yixing: Well some parts of what you just told us are hard to swallow…

Kris: Like what?!!!!

Jun: I don’t know, simple things like you “singing”

Tao: And speaking “English”

Luhan: And actually having a “video” to be honest

Kris: I hate you all

Yixing: Um that’s kind of Suho’s line.

Luhan: Yeah Kris you can’t take it, it’s the only one he’s got.

Jackson: So yeah, I’m going to leave now, I was just dropping these guys off before i headed to China to film 6 reality shows before sun down.

Wenhan: *whispers* Please don’t leave us.

Jackson: This is a safe place guys. It’s all about acceptance and goodwill! *leaves out*

Luhan: Speaking of Goodwill, Tao where did you get your clothes?

Tao: Dolce and Gabbana bit--

Kris: Changing gears!! Let’s talk about something else. Did you know my video was directed by Collin Tille--

Luhan: So Yixing, I’m still just amazed at all your success! That Lose Control video was hot! When you went shirtless I knew that you meant serious business.

Yibo: I saw it, and speaking as a professional grind and roll master. You even had me sweating!

Yixing: Okay guys, you can settle with the compliments. Thanks they do mean a lot, I’m just getting embarrassed now.

Kris: Embarrassed?? You’re embarrassed?? All I have done is lead this support group, be there when you needed me-

Tao: *coughs* lies

Kris: -And treated you all with nothing but respect! Can i get some recognition on my video please??!?!?

Luhan: Okay Kris fine, your video was pretty coo---

Chen: *knocking on door* YIXING why did Jackson just leave your room?? ARe you planning on doing a tv show or something??

Yixing: *through door* Go away Chen! I’m trying to rehearse for my solo stage and you’re distracting me.

Chen: *through door* I can’t go away! Suho told me to get you. Something BIG is happening and he wants the whole crew here and present!

Kris: *to Yixing* Just go, we’ll just wait it out and leave when it’s over.

Yixing: okay cool, I got snacks in my freezer and the WiFi password is “ItPaysToBePatient91”

Luhan: Um are you trying to tell us something??

Yixing: *winks* Coming Chen! *opens door and leaves*

Tao: So what are we suppose to do while we wait?

Wenhan: *looks around* This room is bigger than our dorms

WinWin: We could have a contest to see who had the most lines in their group songs!

Kris: Luhan, hands down. Too easy. Suggest something else.

WinWin: Well we could listen to your new song?

Renjun: Umm...

The8: Ew no

Jun: Don’t be a suck up

Luhan: Ahh you know what? I forgot that I was deaf.

Wenhan: I’d rather just do something more productive to be honest.

Kris:

Kris: I’m never coming to one of these dumb meetings again.

EXO Reaction to Holding Their Newborn for the First Time {Requested}

“Idk if you remember me but I'm Jules. I was wondering if you could write a react for exo about holding their newborn for the very first time.”

Here you go Jules, 84 years later lol :)

Xiumin: “She looks like you, bright eyes and a smile that could save the world. You did great babe.”

Luhan: “I’m not going to lie I was kind of scared becoming a dad so young, but now holding our child in my arms, I know that it was worth it after all.”

Kris: “I didn’t think I was ready, or even mature enough, but now all i want do is protect this little one with my life.”

Suho: “He’s amazing and so small! And he’s ours. Thank you babe for giving me the best gift I could ever receive!”

Lay: “She’s perfection! look at how she kicks her legs! Already so flexible, we may have a future olympian on our hands. My sweet baby girl.”

Baekhyun: “10 fingers 10 toes and she’s got mommy’s nose. That means that i’m going to have to kiss it everyday!”

Chen: “I’m so happy! Look what you made baby! This precious bundle of beauty and love! She squeezed my finger! already so strong. Wow this is seriously the best”

Chanyeol:  “No let me hold him just a little longer....hey you held him for 9 months so you’re going to have to wait. Hey son it’s your dad. Nice to finally see you....you’re shorter than what I imagined you’ll be hahahhaa..okay I’m done making jokes I promise.”

D.O.: “Did you see that? He smiled! He smiled at me! He knows who I am already. Welcome to the world buddy! Mommy and daddy waited so long for you.”

Tao: “I promise to always protect you little guy. You won’t ever be alone or scared with me around.”

Kai: “Is this real? This moment, here with you and our baby. It feels like a dream..i’m not complaining. This is the best dream and I pray never to wake up.”

Sehun: “Shhh little one don’t cry! I’m here. Daddy has you safe and warm. Such loud lungs, I know that one day i’ll probably beg you to quiet and calm down but now the sound of your crying is wondrous and I am still in awe.”