Grandpas Of KPOP #The1stMeeting #AreYouMyDaddy?

(Shout out to @infinitebabymonsta for suggesting this a million years ago and me finally getting around to it!) 

Sunggyu: Hello everyone I would like to welcome you the very first meeting of the Grandpas of Kpop or the G.O.K. as some of the younger kids suggested I should call it.

Suga: Aren’t you suppose to be in the Army?

Suho: Why does he have to be an Army? Gahd aren’t there still some Exo L’s in the world??

Taeyong: Wow

Jaebum: Is he serious?

Woozi: Did anyone bring alcohol?

Sunggyu: *sighs* I am in the army, but I got out early for good behaviour.

JinJin: I’m pretty sure that’s not how it work-

Taeil: I’m pretty sure no one asked you. I have a question. What is the point of having all of these “old at heart” idols here? It feels like I’m at a Future Funerals Anonymous meeting.

MJ: Wait, is that a thing?

Sunggyu: No it’s not, and Taeil I just wanted us to be able to gather in one place and offer support to each other.

Jaebum: Can we all agree that the only support most of truly need is Life Support?

Xiumin: Well think there’s nothing wrong with having some group meetings. I think we all do need an outlet to express our true feelings and emoti–

Suga: Pardon me for interrupting, but this is boring and I want to go home.

Woozi: Father?

Taeyong: ….This is getting weird.

Suho: Fine! I’ll start off! As many of you may know, I’m in a lot of these support groups. And every time I attend a meeting I make a friend and I come to a realization that even though I may be old at heart I am young in min-

Shownu: *snores*

Jaebum: Oh wow, I didn’t even know someone from Monsta X was here.

Taeyong: To be fair, no one ever notices when Monsta X is here.

MJ: *chuckles*

Suho: I CAN’T WORK IN THIS KIND OF ENVIRONMENT SUNGGYU! I DESERVE JUST AN OUNCE OF RESPECT!

Sunggyu: Honestly Suho, If a little snoring at the old folks home is going to bother you so bad then maybe you should consider retiring as a grandpa and as a leader.

Woozi: WAIT I FOUND THE ALCOHOL!  Rewind everything back then repeat!

Jaebum: I also feel like I should take this time to tell everyone to buy Never Ever on Itunes. It’s a soulful upbeat song that expresses a man’s true feelin–

Suga: I’m going to the bathroom *leaves*

Shownu: *wakes up* Woah! Can we promote here too?! Everyone Monsta X is coming back and if you could all at least watch the video and I don’t know stream the song then maybe I can get a cell phone one day.

Taeyong: You don’t have a cell phone?

Taeil: Better question, Do you even know how to use one?

Shownu: Well no, but I was talking to Jooheon earlier and he was trying to tell me about some apps he heard about like “The Instagram” and “The Snapchat”.

MJ:

Woozi: I may be an old grumpy son of a gun but to be honest I really can’t relate to half of you old timers.

Sunggyu: So why did you come?

WoozI *takes a deep breath* Mostly because for a long time I had been searching for someone. My whole life I had thought my parents were the people I grew up with but not to long ago my mother told me that my father was someone else. Someone who would be here toda-

Suga: *walks back in* Um so you may want to invest in some air freshener and probably a new faucet too Sunggyu….no real reason, but um you probably should.

Sunngyu: Oh God.

Taeil: This feels like one of those trashy tv programs where people go to find out who the father is…except this is boring, unentertaining and no one is screaming “Jerry! Jerry!”

Suho: WAIT IS SUGA WOOZI’S FATHER????

Xiumin: How is that even possible?

JinJin: The math doesn’t  actually work at all guys.

Sunggyu: Sorry, I’m still stuck on the fact that my bathroom just saw WW3

Taeyong: *whispers to Taeil* That movie came out already?

Suga: Can someone explain to me why the short kid from Seventeen is looking at me?

Woozi: Because you’re my dad Yoongi

MJ:

Taeyong:

Suho:

Xiumin:

Taeil:

JinJin:

Shownu:

Suga: Um JB, What’s the name of your new song again?

Jaebum: Never Ever?

Suga: Exactly.

Shownu: Anddddd I think that I’m going to go back to sleep.

Woozi: B-but

Sunggyu: I think we should end the meeting and call it a night.

Taeyong: But it’s 6:30pm

MJ: Woahhh it’s late! Come one JinJin we need to get back home!

Suho: I still have time to go make dinner for the guys. This is great.

Taeil: And we can swing by Ten’s dorm and see if he’s still alive Taeyong! Let’s go!

Jaebum: I guess I’ll just go back home too then, Come on Shownu I’ll drop you off. We know your group can’t afford a car.

Xiumin: Brutal

Shownu: But true

Suga: Bye everyone, I can’t guarantee that I’ll come to the next one-

Sunggyu: *under his breath* Or that you’ll even be invited.

Suga: But it wasn’t a bad as I thought. Catch you all some other time….um except for you Woozi. I kinda think we should stay apart and avoid the awkwardness….and the child support payments.

Woozi: I understand.

JinJin: Again, the math doesn’t work out guys.

Sunngyu: Bye everyone! Have a goodnight! I’ll be turning in and calling it a night too after I clean my bathroom!

Suga: *from parking lot* USE THE GOOD BLEACH!

Sunggyu:

Sunggyu: God.