“Thirty years ago my friends and I spent the night at a cabin. We found a book: Necronomicon Ex-Mortis--the Book of the Dead. Certain passages were recited. It awoke something in the woods. Something dark. Evil. It got into my hand and it went bad, so I lopped it off at the wrist. It possessed my friends. My girlfriend, Linda, she... I was the only one to escape. And for the past thirty years, I’ve been hiding out. Now, because I screwed up--I read from that book one lousy time--the evil has found me. That’s why I’m taking off like right now. Catch you on the flip-flop, good buddy.”