A/N @lavellanlove you asked so I delivered more Thelbull. Captain and Tiny are Varric’s nicknames for Thelrand and Bull, respectively.
Codex Entry: The Drunken Chronicles of Captain and Tiny
If you’re reading this and you’re not Varric Tethras, congrats! You successfully pick-locked your way into my private possessions and snooped your way to this little gem. Don’t put this down! Read it now since you already made it this far. Just don’t tell anyone you found this, even though the mischief between Tiny and Captain is on full display every other day at the Tavern, and every time they caught me writing, I told them that I wasn’t writing down their drunken conversations.
I’m not worried about Captain or Tiny getting mad at me. I’m worried about Lucky finding out. (The Inquisitor, by the way.) She has an awful soft spot for the guy and let’s just say I’d rather Seeker get pissed at me than her.
So, here’s what I’ve had to witness with my own two eyes – I was not drunk enough at all, mind you.
***
Captain is just sitting there, skin wrinkled between his perfectly manicured eyebrows (and he tells me he never touched them a day in his life! As if!) with his dark slightly bulging eyes boring into Tiny’s eye-patch. Not a word is uttered between them and tensions are high. Captain’s knuckles are white as he grips the stein with frustration, jaw set as he grinds his teeth with a slight curl of his upper lip. Tiny is more relaxed, leaning casually into his chair, tapping his fingers on the table.
Did they fight? Did I miss something? Those two, who often filled the room with boisterous laughing or raunchy banter or public indecency, are silent like the night while the others party around them.
After a few painfully awkward moments of silence, Captain blinks hard and grunts. “Shit!” Tiny laughs a deep belly laugh that even I am envious of and practically downs his drink in one go and says, “I’ve been blinking this whole time. You were staring at my eye patch again.” I’ve never seen Captain look so betrayed. I expect him to cry, but he somehow finishes the rest of his stein in three mighty gulps and shouts, “Okay! Again!”
He really does cry when he falls for the same trick again.