Brainrot Since ‘04

These episodes really took a dark turn. I‘m equally as amazed as I am terrified.

The fact that Stede‘s innocence died in such a drastic way the moment that he killed Ned honestly just blew my mind.

Like, my man got TURNED ON by finally being able to kill. He even killed that second guy afterwards with the cigar like it was fucking nothing. He even got so much false confidence that he thought he could overthrow Zheng when it was more than obvious that he had no chance at any point.

And imagine how terrifying that has to be for Ed? The soft man he once loved so dearly has turned into exactly what he himself has tried so hard to get rid off - only that HE clearly enjoys himself being that way.

Stede basically BRAGS to Ed about everything he has done, as if Ed hadn’t cleary shown how terrible and guilty he feels about all of his gruesome raids as Blackbeard.

I don‘t think Stede is a bad person at all but Jesus Christ, David Jenkins, get your man back on track, he‘s seriously scaring me.

*starts hyperventilating* a press photo of a different take of the kiss where ED is the one who has his hand in Stede’s hair?!

You’re laughing. A Catboy is holding a dead fish while kissing the love of his life in the moonlight - who, by the way, just had to give up on his new fancy coat because apparently it was cursed - and both of them are actively deciding to take it slower because they are investing in a healthy long term relationship, and you’re laughing.

Okay, Okay, but babes, the fact that

“I love everything about you.

Being near you,

breathing the same air as you.”

was indeed not a part of the letter means that Stede is going to say that to Ed’s face and I’m not responsible for the wall scratching gremlin that I will become when that happens-

The fact that the entire crew lied to Stede at some point to take the blame for Ed’s actions because they knew that hearing just how severly he traumatized him would have scared him off (not as in being scared of Ed, but as in being scared that he has hurt Ed so much that he would rather run away once more as to not cause any more suffering than to face him and actually fight for him) and they couldn’t let that happen because everyone who has been near Blackbeard in the last few months knows that the only way to help this man, the only way to temporarily and after some work even permanently fix his deep rooted turmoil is Stede fucking Bonnet.

Ed being the most feared pirate of the seven seas and going through a total mental breakdown which leads to three suicide attempts and the self discovery that he has daddy issues and hates himself, deep down realizing that his biggest fear is being unlovable

VS

Stede bribing Jackie to take the Swede as her new boytoy so that he and the crew can get a job but ultimately ending up screwed after a robbery goes wrong which in turn leads to him and the crew being sold to a pirate queen where his new job is simply called “Towels”, in which he blossoms by the way,

is literally the entire plot of the Barbie movie.

She’s Barbie, she’s everything

…he’s just Ken.

God Imagine just how broken Ed’s inner child has to be considering that even in his own purgatory near death experience he had rather chosen Hornigold (despite his atrocious nature towards Ed and his old crew) as a spiritual father figure than his own father… or anyone really.

He tries to emotionally distance himself from everything and everyone but really he is still just that little child who likes fine things, loves a silly man who is just as traumatized as himself, cries in bathtubs and hates himself for all of that. Because he thinks that his real self is so soft and wounded that he will never be loved that way.

Kate Bush last year after Stranger Things came out: Wow well, didn’t expect young people to blast my music again! That’s great, both for my bank account and the happiness I feel from my music being shared through a younger generation!

Kate Bush, today: Wait… why do I hear boss music?

OFMD fandom:

Can‘t believe that my entire mental health is depended on whether I‘ll see these two idiots reunite and share 20 seconds of longing eyecontact tomorrow or not.

Okay but I still don‘t understand how we haven‘t turned this into a meme yet?!

This is just way too relatable.

Me: *holds up picture of the most atrocious man in the seven seas*

Also me: „But look at that sweet face! Does this look like the adorable face of someone who would commit war crimes 🥺?“

Literally everyone: „Y E S it DOES!!!“

It‘s so weird that I got into the Magnus Archives a few weeks ago (I‘m on episode 110 now) and am at the same time in the heights of my OFMD hyperfixation because the genres of both franchises could not be any more different from each other yet they both share an opposite-aesthetics couple with a softspoken sweetheart, tortured by a traumatic childhood that always gets bullied by everyone around them because they tend to be much kinder than expected of someone in their position and their grumpy, stunning poc goth boyfriend with long greyish hair who pretends that he hates them because he is afraid of hurting other people by letting them get to close to him when actually he is crushing hard but at the same time he also has to fight the eldritch horrors of his legacy as a full-time monster.

Still thinking about the fact that Izzy hands canonically slapped Stede Bonnet‘s ass.

Honestly I feel like we were all so focused on the possible angst based on our experiences (*insert Good Omens Vietnam Flashback*) with queer media in the past that we completely forgot that OFMD is actually a rom-com.

The trailer alone gave us so many possible scenarios of Ed and Stede reuniting, interacting with each other, Ed still being pissed and hurt and Stede with all of his optimism and heart trying to win him back relentlessly nontheless. THE POSSIBILITIES. They are going to be such petty dumbasses.

Your honor, I‘m in love.

I have stared at the trailer waiting screen for 7 hours, how come I only NOW notice Stede’s pain ridden face?!