These episodes really took a dark turn. I‘m equally as amazed as I am terrified.

The fact that Stede‘s innocence died in such a drastic way the moment that he killed Ned honestly just blew my mind.

Like, my man got TURNED ON by finally being able to kill. He even killed that second guy afterwards with the cigar like it was fucking nothing. He even got so much false confidence that he thought he could overthrow Zheng when it was more than obvious that he had no chance at any point.

And imagine how terrifying that has to be for Ed? The soft man he once loved so dearly has turned into exactly what he himself has tried so hard to get rid off - only that HE clearly enjoys himself being that way.

Stede basically BRAGS to Ed about everything he has done, as if Ed hadn’t cleary shown how terrible and guilty he feels about all of his gruesome raids as Blackbeard.

I don‘t think Stede is a bad person at all but Jesus Christ, David Jenkins, get your man back on track, he‘s seriously scaring me.

*starts hyperventilating* a press photo of a different take of the kiss where ED is the one who has his hand in Stede’s hair?!

You’re laughing. A Catboy is holding a dead fish while kissing the love of his life in the moonlight - who, by the way, just had to give up on his new fancy coat because apparently it was cursed - and both of them are actively deciding to take it slower because they are investing in a healthy long term relationship, and you’re laughing.

Okay, but when are we gonna talk about the implication that Edward Teach literally composed the Glam-Rock song „Here I go again“ by Whitesnake 200 years before it came out in our world? Season 1 break-up singer-songwriter Ed Teach would be so proud that he accidentally created an 80s smash hit centuries after his time. It‘s giving „Laszlo Cravensworth and his Dear Lady Wife Nadja secretly wrote the original perverted versions of traditional folk songs“ or „Crowley was channeling his inner goth so Shakespeare got inspired and stole one of his lines“-vibes and I LOVE it!

Ed being the most feared pirate of the seven seas and going through a total mental breakdown which leads to three suicide attempts and the self discovery that he has daddy issues and hates himself, deep down realizing that his biggest fear is being unlovable

VS

Stede bribing Jackie to take the Swede as her new boytoy so that he and the crew can get a job but ultimately ending up screwed after a robbery goes wrong which in turn leads to him and the crew being sold to a pirate queen where his new job is simply called “Towels”, in which he blossoms by the way,

is literally the entire plot of the Barbie movie.

She’s Barbie, she’s everything

…he’s just Ken.

You know, now that a few hours have passed and I could kind of reassemble myself I just want to say something that might earn me a lot of hate, but I feel like it has to be said, and yes I am obviously biased as an Ed fan, but even so I stand by what I’m going to say now:

Since I’ve heard some mumbles in some corners of the fandom during the last few weeks before the season aired about people saying Ed isn’t worthy to be a protagonist, he’s evil, he’s awful yadda yadda:

If you truly think that, please block me.

This man has attempted assisted suicide 3 times in the duration of two episodes. He has admitted to hating himself and finding himself unlovable.

Yes he has done horrible things, but he is not a horrible person, he is simply a severely mentally ill person with abandonment issues whose coping mechanism broke when he was once again abandoned.

Does this excuse him torturing Izzy and literally trying to kill him? No, not even in the slightest bit. But it does explain his mental state and reasons for doing so.

If you are anti Ed but also preach about mental health and its importance in society you are a fucking hypocrite because you would obviously also rather demonize a man instead of recognizing that he desperately needs help.

Liking Ed or Izzy doesn’t have to be exclusive, you know? It’s fine to like both. I also really love Izzy’s developement in this season, but if you are so absolutely pro Izzy that you hate Edward Teach as a character, please fuck off.

It’s been 3 hours and I still can’t believe that that mermaid scene wasn’t a collective sappy fanfiction-esque group hallucination but SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY HAPPEND IN CANON.

Stede Bonnet is such a 12 year old in love for having that dream in the start of episode one where Ed calls him “Babe”, “Love” and “Honey”. Like UGH. Baby girl you are down sooo bad, I’m bawling.

The Shape of Water (2017)

The problem with growing up on Tumblr is the fact that I really have to make a conscious effort to remember not to open this godforsaken app tomorrow morning because at this point it‘s basically a muscle memory and season 2 drops at 9am in my timezone (if I didn’t miscalculate, which isn‘t exactly unlikely lmao) + add onto that the time I need to wait for those sweet sweet blessed people to share their recordings of the episodes and you‘ll basically have me and my dear adhd brain clinging on for dear life in the hopes that I’ll internalize the fact that I really cannot open any social media platform for at least the next 20 hours.

God I really hope I don‘t fail. Wish me luck fellas. I‘m gonna drop my reviews and takes (and most of all: fangirling) whenever I‘ll have excess to the episodes. I wish everyone an amazing day tomorrow (or tonight, depending on where you are). TO LOVE AND PIRACY (quite literally haha) ❤️😭🏴‍☠️

I really want David Jenkins to give us a trigger warning for season 2 in the sense of before episode one begins we either get a disclaimer that says:

„Don‘t worry Gays, we aren‘t gonna do it Gaiman style“

or

„Remember Good Omens season 2? … yeah, you better buckle up, fam“

because I can‘t sit here for almost a whole month crying and praying that we aren‘t gonna be left on a devastating cliffhanger. Like please man I need these queers to have a somewhat happy ending.

I really hate to be this person but, crew, when season 2 comes out and you have the chance to download and share the episodes on your file sharing websites or choice: PLEASE! Do so.

This is not a means of me wanting to be cheap and robbing the talented writers, creators and actors of their well earned money especially after the WAG strike just came to a settlement:

This is a desperate plea from a European person.

To my fellow Americans, you have no idea how sad it is to be robbed of the experience to participate in the fandom without being spoiled, not because you were careless but because you simply couldn’t avoid media coverage on your hyperfixation for half a year or more because your country was still fighting over licensing issues.

Do you want to know when season 1 was released in my country?

On the 1st of June 2023.

Of course by then I already knew the plot by heart, since waiting more than a year to watch this revolutionary new queer show that took my heart by storm without being exposed to it, especially as a person engaging in a lot of queer media fan circles, was impossible.

And I’m not even from a conservative country. There weren’t any reasons of homophobia behind it, the only reason was seemingly a petty licensing fight because HBO Max doesn’t exist in my country therefore every HBO show is distributed by different means.

So think about how crew members from conservative countries must feel? Some of them will probably never get a licensed import into their countries because their government has major LGBTQ+ discrimination laws.

So I am not trying to urge or bribe you, but simply politely nudging at your shoulder to share these episodes as soon as they are out so that those of us who don’t have the means to access them can have the same blind experience as you do without being spoiled all over social media and then having to wait another year.

Last I will say that when the offical release of OFMD season 2 happens in my country I will of course buy it! I am not advertising media sharing as a means of robbing the team behind OFMD of their well earned money, I am simply begging for all of us to have an equal experience in enjoying this beautiful piece of media with fresh, eager eyes.

Lots of love and let’s remember to all talk it through as a crew ❤️🏴‍☠️

!MAJOR OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH SEASON 2 REUNION SPOILERS AHEAD!

Okay so I don‘t know who needs to hear this but guys. I’ve cracked the code:

So as we all know this is a photo from the offical Warner Bros Press Release that says that it was taken from the second episode, right?

Now I want you all to look at the outfit.

In this VERY SAME episode we will have: the Lucius reunion. Don’t believe me based on this speculative piece of evidence? Just wait. There’s more.

In the same episode, they try to get on board of the Revenge.

And after Black Pete says he doesn’t feel like shooting the arrow for the improv zip line they sent sent Buttons.

But who is that covering up Buttons with his head and standing next to Black Pete? That’s right: Lucius

BUT THAT’S STILL NOT EVERYTHING.

The beard, the haircut, the outfit… Stede is having another gay on gay therapy session with Lucius before they execute the plan to enter the Revenge.

And well guess what? Guess what also happens in the SECOND (!) episode of this season?

Once they get on board… Ed and Stede reunite.

So let me recap this: We were all so scared that they would take 5 episodes to even see each other again but guess what? 2 episodes. 2 episodes until the crew of the Revenge is properly reunited.

(Of course that still leaves the storm that will probably happen that very next day and seperate them once more to leave us with some unresolved tension, but still. PROGRESS. So much progress already in two (2) episodes)

Honestly I feel like we were all so focused on the possible angst based on our experiences (*insert Good Omens Vietnam Flashback*) with queer media in the past that we completely forgot that OFMD is actually a rom-com.

The trailer alone gave us so many possible scenarios of Ed and Stede reuniting, interacting with each other, Ed still being pissed and hurt and Stede with all of his optimism and heart trying to win him back relentlessly nontheless. THE POSSIBILITIES. They are going to be such petty dumbasses.

Your honor, I‘m in love.