#me – @larphis on Tumblr

I can‘t believe I will have to sit in a fucking college lecture tomorrow when the episodes air. I am so pissed I could scream. You‘re telling me I‘ll have to wait 4 extra hours till I get to see Ed and Stede‘s kiss on the battlefield, their silly date on land, them flirting for two eps straight and them even possibly dancing the devil‘s tango?! I think I‘m gonna cry.

#ofmd #our flag means death #personal #me #the thing is: the lecture is optional too. but I kind of really really need it #it‘s still orientation week and I have no idea how college works so I like to take every chance for some introductory lectures I can get #i can‘t believe I‘m already emotionally over college despite not even having my first regular day yet #i just wanna go home and watch my gay pirates please #*cries*

larphis

Anonymous asked:

Stealing episodes is robbing the writers!

Why did I knew I would get a comment like this.

But as an anon ask? Seriously? At least have the guts to say it to my face if you criticize my message, please.

So let’s get right to the point, darling.

I am not trying to steal anything. I won’t go around and do public screenings of the episodes, I won’t grin like a Disney villian and spread them to all of my friends, laughing at the money the writers will lose.

Think about it this way: I cannot stream the episodes anywhere, legally, when they come out. So if I couldn’t watch them either way I couldn’t monetarily support the writers anyways. Whether I do stream them via a non official source or not.

What WILL however change, is that I can make noise on social media about it, I can praise the show, spread my fan theories and engage with the media, thus advertising the series to more people, for example Americans who can actually WATCH the show. After season 1 came out in my country I succesfully won both of my parents and one of my closest friends as fans. Heck I even convinced my boyfriend to watch it, he is American (he streamed it legally for your knowledge) and as straight as they come but he also enjoyed it.

Point is, the writers won’t lose money through me, because I am a dedicated fan and will buy and consume their media anyways. The only thing that will change is my experience as a fan, and if people like you want to gatekeep that experience and rob people like me from it just because we are European and literally can not access the thing we have supported through thick and thin then you can fuck right off.

Imagine if the roles were reversed. Would you seriously sit still if I could watch season 2 right now and spoil the whole thing for you while you could do nothing but wait until I’ve ruined the whole experience for you and then wait another year until YOU can watch it?

I highly doubt that, sunshine.

#ofmd #our flag means death #me #ofmd meta #ofmd fandom #ofmd season 2

larphis

There is nothing I hate more about being bilingual than having a word in one language that I can’t directly translate into the other language but not because there isn’t a translation,

but because the translation lacks the proper accuracy to really nail the word at its core.

An example:

I am German but also fluent in English because the internet basically raised me and, well, you can’t really go anywhere without being confronted with English content as a small kid if your preferred fandoms weren’t that popular in your own native language.

But anyways, I digress.

So recently I wanted to introduce my dad to The Magnus Archives - only problem being his English isn’t exactly the crème de la crème if you get what I’m saying. So in a hyperfixated rage I started writing a German translation of the first episode for him - only to realize that German doesn’t really have a proper equivalent for the word “researcher”.

The most commonly used translation for researcher in German is “Forscher”.

Problem being that “Forscher” is commonly associated with people in lab coats running around and conducting experiments and in this case we are talking about people who are researching in a journalistic sense.

Now there is an alternative, we could also use a common loanword but the loanword is “Rechercheur” which was obviously inspired by the French language and if you think “Forscher” sounds like a hand full I can tell you that “Rechercheur” is so much worse.

So now I’m angry because I’m stuck; but at the same time fascinated by the way language travels and how associations with words are formed.

#bilingual #bilingualism #German #English #translation studies #language #linguist problems #linguistics #the Magnus archives #tma podcast #personal #me #observations

larphis

Me, looking into the mirror, giving myself a pep talk:

Okay you got this, you are an adult. You are a grown up. Time to adjust to that, time to blend in with society and portray the image of a figure of approachable authority that children look up to.

Also me, not even ten minutes later:

Wow almost ten minutes of maturity, that‘s a new record!

…Now time to make my blorbos in Picrew :)

#i swear it do be like that #i originally wanted to sent a very important email today that is supposed to determine my chances at college #now I‘m internally crying again at my incompetence to be an adult and try to make Ed in different picrews #adulthood #adulting #growing up #relatable #me #Personal #picrew #procrastination #adhd

larphis

Sometimes I’m sad that I don’t have many friends because I am quite the demanding creature and then I remember that Socrates’ ass was so insufferable to those around him - because he kept coming up with paradoxons and pointless philosophical thought experiments - that even the artsy kids were fed up with him which ultimately led to a poet demanding his death due to supposed blasphemy and his only few friends fought tooth and nail to get him out of it only for him to be so petty that he’d rather chose death than to bail out “if they all rather wanted to see him dead anyways”.

And that’s the point where I usually end up realizing that my own extra neurodivergent ass should be grateful because I have those kind of friends who would definetly defend me when being sentenced to death.

However, I am also the kind of person who most definitely would choose death out of spite, so perhaps the size of my friend group is reasonable to my character <3

#i love my friends #socrates #philosophy #friendships #life advice #me irl #me #personal #neurodivergency #adhd #adhd things #neurodivergent #growing up weird

larphis

I think my antidepressants aren’t working anymore.

And that terrifies me.

I just had a full on two hour mental breakdown over a small hurtful comment from my mom and sobbed uncontrollably all the way through.

Thank god I have an appointment with my new psychiatrist on Monday anyways (let’s pray she’s nice). And I could also theoretically book a new appointment with my therapist again but Jesus Christ this is all so scary.

Brain, why are you like this, man?

#personal #me #depression #tw depressing stuff #antidepressants #mental health update #I’m taking Sertraline/Zoloft btw if anyone is wondering #ugh I just want to be happy

larphis

Anyone else dealing with passive self-hatred? Like I don’t actually hate myself - in fact I even think that I am pretty kick-ass, if I might say so myself. But for some reason I always manipulate myself into not receiving the happiness that I could receive.

Simple example: There is a fanfiction that made me SO happy because it helped me heal from an open-ending to a show but just when I finished about 80% of it, I dropped it. Not because I didn’t like it. I loved it in fact! I just didn’t want to have the clarity of a new definite ending so instead I abbandoned it, never knowing what will eventually happen.

Same thing with friendships. Those that I love the most are the ones I never reach out to.

It’s like I don’t want to be happy but I do and it pisses me off.

I know it’s probably the abbandonment issues but I am honestly very much over them (conciously) I just can’t seem to get over it SUBconciously. Like my brain won’t catch up to the fact that my actions are bullshit.

God no wonder I used to have such an internal anger at Aziraphale during the whole second season of Good Omens (please don’t hit me, I’ve changed, he’s a sweetheart who made a mistake, I see that now), I am literally him and that’s what pisses me off. We are not bad people but we are certainly flawed people.

#mental health #self image #mental illness #personal #me #aziraphale #Livin like #stede bonnet #they are both lovely and yet part of me hates them because they remind me so much of my own flaws #I love myself #I just struggle with executing that #brain problems #serotonin went to go get cigarettes

larphis

Anyways don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t be allowed to be pissed at something. If something pisses you of than your emotions are most definitely valid. You don’t have to be objectively “right” about something to have the right to be annoyed about it.

#general #life advice #self love #being angry #me #personal

larphis reblogged

requiem-on-water

shock

accepting that you’re objectively weird & owning it is infinitely better than being constantly desperate to appear normal to people who don’t even matter to you

#this #me #personal #self love #weirdness

larphis

I really want to get into drawing again but I’m such a perfectionist that I just can’t do it because if it doesn’t immediately look perfect I just feel the need to give up, which I know is stupid - my mental health is great enough for me to know that - but still even knowing the problem it’s so hard to fight it.

#personal #me #drawing #art #artist struggles #I started a painting of Ed in June and it was going really great until I fucked up the face so I tried to start it over again #but for some reason - whether it is drawing or painting Taika Waititi’s face - I just can’t seem to do it #he has such a unique beautiful face and while the original version of the face wasn’t bad:#it just wasn’t him #and so I tried to correct it but it never worked out and now this unfinished painting is lying around causing me a migraine #at this point I just wanna give it up but I’m too proud of the parts that I DID make to do so #still maybe a fresh start would be great?#thought about repainting Ed from the trailer… but I’ll see #still this is mostly about drawing not painting #I suck at anatomy and proportions and I hate it #still the only way of making progress is practising #now if only I would internalize that for once 🙄

larphis

Me:

I will not get delusional about OFMD season 2

Brain:

Omg but what if they get married at the end

#ofmd #me #our flag means death #relatable #ofmd s2 #gentlebeard #blackbonnet

larphis

Someone just liked one of my posts who had the EXACT same profil picture as a former acquaintance who is one of the most horrible people I know and I just froze because I always thought that their profil picture was custom drawn for them by another mutual acquaintance who is a very skilled artist because it looks exactly like them.

Put that thing so fast into google lense, you have no idea.

Thank god it wasn’t them. That person is… no I just don’t want them anywhere near my feed.

Everyone else is welcome here, don’t worry, this is a safe space. But some people are just literally evil and you 100% have the rights to protect yourself from them.

#personal #me #Coen vents #anxiety #toxic people #it was kinda funny #after I got over my blood coiling fear

larphis

I can’t believe that I have to pursue a degree in education now that my applications for a psychology one have been rejected. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that bad!

In Germany (where I’m from) teachers actually make a MASSIVE salary (My dad is a teacher and my mom is a stay at home mom and we live in a house, with a garden, in a pretty expensive street - so basically think upper middle class).

The point is more so that I have always hated school and been very opposed to the idea of becoming a teacher one day.

So to now imagine myself, my silly ass, the weird kid, the one that never fit in and struggled especially due to their adhd - with the colorful hair and the androgynous look - who screamed about their favorite gay pirates merely a few hours ago, as an authority figure in a couple of years is absolutely terrifying AND hilarious at the same time.

#personal #me #coen speaks #education degree #teacher #teaching #funny #the irony of it all #clowning through my career

larphis

Anonymous asked:

Yeah. You're not asexual.

Quite intruiging anon that you seem to have a better understanding of my sexuality than me myself.

I am a sex-repusled ace person. The thought of sex with myself involved in any way disgusts me, however despite a lack of sexual attraction I still have a strong sense of aesthetic attraction to people. I couldn’t care less about having intimacy with them, but I still feel extremly drawn to people’s weird quirks and character traits.

Not to mention that asexuality is a spectrum, and demisexual people as well as people who have an active sex-life are also all a part of the ace community.

I would highly recommend using the time you are investing in trying to invalidate strangers sexualities in actually researching and educating yourself about all the different forms asexuality can take.

I am valid, and it took me years to accept that about myself, and I am not going to let that be taken away by someone who hides behinds the comforts of anonymity and has not exchanged a singular word with the person that I am.

Besides I use the asexual umbrella term because it’s easier to understand - for people like you who are clearly not educated about asexual people because it’s easier than me having to explain that I am aegosexual because almost no one would know what I am even talking about.

larphis

OMG I THINK THE SHADOWBAN IS LIFTED I’M FREE! Hi guys <3 It’s been a while

#personal #me #shadowbanned #update #hi

larphis reblogged

edward-teach-born-on-the-beach

Explaining The Importance Of The Flag Change In OFMD Episode 10

So, we all remember when Ed decided to change his flag from this (ep2):

To this (ep10):

right?

But because episode 10 was such a rollercoaster of emotions, I feel like we overlooked this key detail that has been sitting right in front of us the entire time. But I managed to figure it out today and it blew my mind to pieces.

So I decided to do a bit of a google research and apparently there is a certain code of meaning behind certain symbols on pirate flags.

-The skeleton is obviously an homage to the devil

-The drink in its right hand is hence supposed to signify a toast to the devil/evil/cruelty

-The spear in its left hand means war

But what about the bleading heart that Ed forced Frenchie to add?

Well, when I watched the episode for the first few times I always thought of the bleading heart as a metaphor for Ed’s pain which he wants the whole world to know about by showing it on his flag - but no.

Holy fuck no. It is SO much worse.

The bleading heart means that no quarter will be given.

Now “hold up, hold up”, I hear you say, “What does that mean?”

“To give quarter” was the moral code amongst pirates that when an encountered ship was willing to surrender a fight and their goods their lifes would be spared.

So you might have already guessed it, “no quarter given” means that even if the enemy surrenders their lifes won’t be spared.

Or to put it quite literally:

(The new) flag means death

Ed’s heart and mind have been broken so severly that as a result he went from being the man who told Stede that he couldn’t and wouldn’t kill again, to the man who promises anyone, no matter how innocent they may be a certain death if they get anywhere near him.

This man has been triggered so much by Stede’s crew that he literally dropped them of on an island to forget the pain of the love of his life leaving him yet still decided to keep Frenchie around to have someone who could create this new flag.

He willingly accepted the pain of having someone around who reminded him of Stede just to create a physical promise to himself and to Stede that Blackbeard is back - more cruel than ever - and that Edward Teach is now a relict of the past.

larphis

Hey guys, I made a temporary new sideblog while I’m still waiting for the shadowban to get lifted. I know that this will probably once again get lost in the abyss but I thought I’d still let those know who stumble upon my blog :)

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd observations #me #updates #this blog #tumblr shadowban