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Hold for Crime Wives

@ladyriot / ladyriot.tumblr.com

20 something // aggressively multifandom (it's mostly crime wlw, especially rizzles, & unprecedented amounts of Ashley Johnson—you're welcome!) I write fanfiction sometimes here
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We need like a month where nothing happens and there's no repercussions we all just stay in bed and hibernate and nothing goes wrong

Oh to curl up in my giant pillowy bed and sleep with no fears of the outside.

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ilynpilled

trope i really like is self-loathing characters desperate for the catharsis of punishment for frankly rather selfish reasons who r also obsessed with repeatedly pressing others into hating them and hurting them as essentially a method of self harm. yes baby continue making it worse for urself and everybody around u instead of doing an actually productive and effective journey of improvement and redemption

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fellshish

anyway thanks for thinking about our blorbos together another year it’s been a pleasure and a horror

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effemimaniac

sorry for the delay in responding to your message. I was walking around the house with unclear intentions

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🧪Evidence – How do people prove themselves as worthy of your attention?

👀Eyes – Describe the relationship between you and your best friend.

🤐Unzip – Who would you trade wardrobes with? (Visuals appreciated)

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🧪: answered here, but good job writing one of the most difficult questions on the planet

👀: my best friend has been my best friend since elementary school. We moved to the same city in the same year and she just decided we were going to be friends. And she's great. We used to spend every day together, but now it's like hours-long phone calls and doing errands together because it's the only time that can be made. It's sad, but good for my back. She's so little, it did a number on my back to be best friends with her 😂

🤐: Tough question because I'm very picky and my fashion sense leans amalgamation of little traits from different sources. But I'm honouring the first thought in my head, which was Adelle Dewitt from Dollhouse.

There are things that she wears that I hate and I don't think we suit the same colours, but I like the shapes and textures of what she wears.

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handcuffs, detective, and wine!

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First answer here.

🔍Detective – What’s something people wouldn’t know about you on first glance?

Well, considering that apparently I have resting miserable face, probably that I'm not actually miserable 😂 That feels like a non-answer, though, so... uh, you can really say anything about yourself with this one. Oh, it's that I cannot drive a car. Never even tried. It always surprises people. But I can barely see, have no depth perception, and also have the reflexes of a snail. No thank you.

🍷Wine – What’s the worst drink someone has ever bought you?

A mixed drink I don't know the name of from one of those hipster bars (that renamed everything, reinvented the wheel, you know the type). It literally tasted like the most watered-down hard liquor with bitters and nothing else. Very gross. Not to be all "fruity little drink 'cause she can't shoot whiskey," but put some juice in there!

For my own ego, I must say I'm also "chase whiskey with whiskey" in country music references. Multitudes!

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Handcuffs and evidence!

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⛓️‍💥Handcuffs – Describe your day job without revealing what it is.

There's a lot of staring at a lot of words on a screen. There are type-y type-y sounds. And it bores me to tears.

🧪Evidence – How do people prove themselves as worthy of your attention?

This is the most difficult question of all of them. I think the answer is a very specific type of kindness. I'm a very behaves incorrectly, has had literal texting lessons (that I routinely ignore) human. It's benefit of the doubt. It's the kind of people that refuse to let you apologize for yourself. Those people are worthy of my attention and my time and I'd probably sit at their feet like a very loyal dog. Bark bark.

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🪠Plumber – Do you have any skills passed on to you from a family member?

I was going to say no, but I've realized it's the ability to curl hair with a flat iron. My mother taught me. To this day, I do not own a curling iron. Don't see the point.

🍟Fries – How do you prefer your burger?

Vegetarian 🙊 I've never liked beef. Preferably a black bean or beyond burger. With cheese. Mayo is required. Ketchup, mustard, pickles, lettuce. White onions are allowed, but red onions are a no thank you.

🏁Boston – Without naming it, what’s a fact about the city/town/village you’re currently living in?

It's one of those places not in the UK named after a place in the UK. There are very many of those around these parts.

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I love seeing how long it takes ao3 to send out an update email... could be twenty minutes. Could be an hour. Always an adventure.

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