so heres how it happens, right

class as usual

my student’s mother is waiting outside the academy to pick up her two daughters. she spots a kitten in the parking lot

the girls run back upstairs and scream to the other kids that theres a cat outside

i lose control of the entire classroom. about a dozen teenagers escape. i leave it to my TA because hell if im gonna get sucked into that mess. i dont like bonding w stray cats. its too sad to imagine them struggling later. i elect to ignore everything until it all blows over

i sit there until slowly one by one my students climb back upstairs to give me the pleading eyes emoji and beg me to do something about the fucking kitten

like that

ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY TOMORROW, they say, big-eyed and sad. you could keep it, right?? didnt u say u wanted a cat, mx truffles?? cmon at least just come and see it. its your birthday

i sigh. i get up. i go downstairs. theres a skinny dirty flea ridden little creature surrounded by kids, rubbing up on all of them and eating right out of their hands. the sisters’ mother went and got the cat some food. its eating like its never seen food in its life. its so fucking skinny

unfortunately the kids all stare at me. i stare back at them. i stare at the cat. the cat stares back

im the adult here, i know. currently i am the authority figure. none of them know what to do. they fucking beg me to at least please do something. and the cat fucking. comes up to me and headbutts my hand

i lose

so i pick up the fucking kitten. teach the kids how to swaddle it and make a purrito. i take it upstairs in a ratty cardboard box. i take it to the portfolio advisors office. i stay with the cat. i use my TA and one of my older students as a messenger back and forth from the office to the classroom. i conduct class from inside the office next to the cat. every single fucking kid in the building passes the glass door and coos at the cat. im stuck in there. the administrators, the other teachers, even my boss the director of the academy all come up to take a look at the cat.

the cat is sweet. its well-behaved. its affectionate and loves people. its hungry and thirsty and tired. it keeps asking me to pet it. its so skinny you can feel all its ribs. it keeps trying to nap. it keeps bonking me on the hand. it keeps meowing

the children beg me to keep the cat. its your birthday, they plead. your thirtieth birthday. happy birthday, mx truffles. doesnt it feel just right??

the sisters’ mother leaves me her phone number, just in case. they have two cats at home. if i cant take her, they will.

im acting on instinct now. i take the cat into my car. i drive to a pet supply store as soon as work is over. i bring the box with the cat inside with me. as soon as i walk through the doors, a nice lady freezes, points and goes, so it looks like theres something alive in there

and i go. yeah :(

and she’s like. well. what is it??

and im like. uh. i think its my new cat????

she helps me pick out some stuff. i get some food. dry and wet. i get a litter box. some treats. i get advice. the cat keeps trying to escape me to explore the store. i realize that its a fucking rascal

i come home. with the cat. obviously my family doesnt fucking believe ive done this

i set up the litter box in my bathroom. it figures it out in two seconds. i wipe the cat down with wipes. i clip her front claws. i give her the shittiest shower job ever. it is indeed horrifically difficult to bathe a cat. but the cat is very fucking sweet. it doesnt hiss or bite or claw. it trusts me even after that bath. it keeps fucking purring. i towel it down and start to brush it. it fucking loves it. it offers body parts to be brushed. it wont stop fucking purring. it lets me handle it and put it wherever i want. it let me clean inside its ears and take its eye crusts off. its currently purring in a circle on my fucking lap

ive never done this before and i have no idea what to do

she’s a calico. nobody can decide how old she is between three or six months old. she’s got gold eyes. pink nose. pink toe beans. she’s sweet and soft and she wont fucking stop purring

and the sisters’ mom, the one who found her, her name is lily. and thats a hilarious name for a cat because lilies are poisonous to cats. and thats good enough for me

lily