If vampires worked like vampire bats do they’d be so stressed out all the time. Imagine vampires living in a house like “THE HUMIDIFIERS, HELEN! TURN ON THE HUMIDIFIERS! I’M DEHYDRATED!” Vampires that have to wear fitbits to count the # of steps they can take before passing out. Vampires that gotta slam 45 liters of blood each night, 365 days a year (which, like who has the time or the money for that?) Vampires that swell up like Aunt Marge while eating. And yes, vampires who are ALWAYS wearing their adult diapers. Or, alternatively, “I’m hungry. Helen, bring the victim over by the toilet!”
#koryos talks#urine cw#friends dont let friends subsist on a purely sanguivorous diet#like vampires wouldn't be this ultimate evolution of humans they'd be shivering little stressed out babies#'helen you're gonna have to carry me because i've almost exceeded my movement limit'#give helen a fucking raise