sad, sick little knight laid up in bed with a big comforter thrown on top of them, pouring honey tea through a funnel they've stuck through their visor
shivering because they've got the chills. dear god you cannot begin to imagine the clanking and clattering. it sounds like when you clip into the wall in garry's mod
Just enraged the king
BIG NEWS, my Lady Liege is no longer my Lady Liege. they are now my Lordship. i'll be referring to them this way from now on
UPDATE: my Lordship is actually my Lady Liege's twin brother and they've been switching places just to fuck with me. the other knights in my court apparently knew this the whole time and everyone thought this was soooooo funny
moping forlornly in my chambers rn
Positive affirmations:
I deserve a halberd
I should be given a halberd
People want me to have a halberd
I can be trusted to own a halberd
I will be given a halberd one day
People will think my halberd is incredibly hot
knights can thrive in a modern office, but only if they're given at least one suitable Quest per week.
example Quests for those seeking to create a knightgirl-friendly environment:
my squire has expressed a strange desire to shave my head completely, despite my insistence that i have arranged to see a fair maiden tomorrow and have my hair properly fixed (it's become too long for my helmet). and yet my squire is unrelenting! she keeps saying "i'm going to shave your head. i'll do it while you're sleeping. it'll be so rizzy" whatever the fuck that means
BIG NEWS, my Lady Liege is no longer my Lady Liege. they are now my Lordship. i'll be referring to them this way from now on
not sure if you've been asked this before but be honest, which is the best: greatsword, maul, battle-axe, or warhammer?
POLEARM SUPREMACY 💪💪💪💪💪
*boops you but forgets that i'm still holding my morningstar*
Hate it when you’re just minding your own business and some random knight challenges you to a fight for the maiden you’ve sworn to protect. Like, come on, man, I’m just trying to get to work.
my Lady Liege bade me to slay a group of vagabonds who keep robbing people on the roads outside the city but i tripped on my way into their hideout and they all laughed at me :(
fellows i may be cooked i didn't even slay the vagabonds 🤦 i was so distracted by my blunder that i walked right out of there .....
he rly brought the harvest into it 💀😭 (oathbreaker_cary on tiktok)
just had a really intense battle and got mortally wounded so my Lady Liege has given me the week off. FUCK YES!! time to play skyrim
having a meeting with a wise and powerful enchantress today wish me luck
had a deep conversation with the enchantress about my insecurities and i really thought we were bonding so i told her there was an opening for a court wizard at the castle and she turned me into a skink
having a meeting with a wise and powerful enchantress today wish me luck
my Lady Liege bade me to slay a group of vagabonds who keep robbing people on the roads outside the city but i tripped on my way into their hideout and they all laughed at me :(
